Tag: pastoral ministry

EP 238 – Pastoral Perseverance with Brian Croft

Written on April 10, 2024.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 238 - Pastoral Perseverance with Brian Croft

00:00 / 26:38

In this episode of the bootcamp podcast, I have the pleasure of welcoming back Brian Croft, a veteran pastor and the founder of Practical Shepherding to discuss his latest book, Pastoral Perseverance.

Brian shares his journey through 25 years of pastoral ministry, including facing significant challenges in the early years at Auburndale Baptist Church which tested his perseverance. Despite hardships like threats, financial crises, and health issues stemming from stress, Brian witnessed the church flourish under his guidance. You can read more about this and the lessons that Brian learned in his book, Biblical Church Revitalization.

Brian also discusses his transition to leading Practical Shepherding full-time, a ministry dedicated to equipping pastors and church leaders with practical tools for ministry.

This episode dives into the importance of pastoral qualifications, the concept of perseverance, and the critical understanding of suffering in ministry. Additionally, Brian introduces The Shepherd’s House, a retreat initiative for pastors needing rest and rejuvenation, emphasizing the importance of self-care among ministry leaders.

00:00 Welcome to the Bootcamp: Introducing Brian Croft
00:31 Brian Croft’s Journey: From a Dying Church to Thriving Ministry
02:08 The Birth and Growth of Practical Shepherding
03:34 Understanding the Five-Year Rule in Church Revitalization
06:33 The Impact of Practical Shepherding and the Shepherd’s House
11:03 Diving into ‘Pastoral Perseverance’: A Guide for Struggling Pastors
21:59 The Importance of Self-Care and Perseverance in Ministry
23:57 Closing Thoughts and Prayer for Perseverance

Resources for the Replant Wife

Written on April 2, 2024.

“You can’t be a pastor! That would make me a pastor’s wife! And I am NOT a pastor’s wife.” These were the very first words I said to my husband after he confessed to me that he felt God was calling him to be a pastor. (Encouraging, I know… Bear with me.) Some women attend seminary and meet their future husband while he is studying for a career in ministry. She’s prepared to be known as the “pastor’s wife” for their marriage. That is not what happened to me. I was completely unprepared to be a pastor’s wife– my husband was in logistics at a warehouse. I never imagined God would call him to be a pastor and I would be a “PW”– I didn’t even know what PW meant!

Thankfully, God brought me around and I joyfully accepted this new role. I looked at it as a big, new adventure we would go on together. My husband and I, in ministry, doing the Lord’s work. Proclaiming the Gospel to hurting and broken people, together! What could be better than that?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Oh man… She might be in for a shock.” You’re right. I was!

After 16 years in ministry, I can honestly say it has been a big adventure– one that has included many wonderful, joyful mountains, but one that also included several painful and dark valleys. Most of those valleys have happened in the season of replanting/revitalization in our church. In those valleys, it’s easy to feel isolated and alone in ministry. Looking at other churches, I would think, “They have it all figured out. They don’t seem to struggle the way we’re struggling! Maybe we just aren’t called to this.” Perhaps you have felt that way, too. If you’re a pastor reading this, I can almost guarantee your wife has felt that!

On a recent episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, host Jimbo Stewart spoke with three replant wives (one of whom is probably his favorite guest of all time) to take a look at the resources available to the wives working alongside their husbands in church renewal.

The Replant Wife Experts

During those moments of isolation and loneliness, sometimes all we need is a small reminder that we aren’t alone. This is where I found myself at the first Replant Summit I attended with my husband. We had navigated some very discouraging and hard times in our church and we signed up hoping to be refreshed and renewed. I was burdened with many needs, some spiritual and some within our own family. When I saw a breakout session for “Replant Wives,” I thought, “Nope.” The last thing I wanted to hear was how amazing life was for all those wives and how wonderful their churches were.

My husband convinced me to go, and I entered that room overwhelmed and anxious. I sat at an empty table prepared to sit quietly and speak to no one. But before I could enact that plan, other women came to sit at the table. These women were all so friendly and kind, and I found myself sharing some of my concerns with them briefly before the session even started. They seemed to understand everything I had experienced. They seemed like they “got it,” in a way that my other friends didn’t. Those women were Audrea Stewart, Darlene Dryer, and Barb Bickford, the hosts of the breakout session and the spouses of Jimbo Stewart, Josh Dryer, and Bob Bickford, respectively. Turns out, I hadn’t sat down at an empty table– I was at “their” table! (I had somehow missed the purses, laptop bags, and materials they had around the table.)

For the next couple of hours, I sat with many other women in the room as these three incredible women poured into us with biblical, practical advice for this journey. They each shared their stories, complete with heartaches and struggles. They were transparent and relatable, but also gently and wisely continued to point us each back to Christ and His leadership. As we each began to open up with our own worries and anxieties, I realized I had been wrong. I wasn’t alone or isolated. There were so many women struggling with the same issues I was– and these three “expert Replant Wives” had struggled with them, too!

I know these three women would object to being called “experts”– they are just wives who are doing their best to assist their husbands in this work of church renewal. But that day, Audrea, Darlene, and Barb gave us more than the resources of books to read, biblical passages to study, and tangible tools for problem-solving– they gave us the resource of friendship. We were able to connect with each other, as women all over the room began to bond over shared trials, joys, and everything in between. The connections I formed that day reminded me that I wasn’t alone. The resource of friendship was something that I will never forget.

The Replant Wife Facebook Page- a Source of Connection

After the Summit, I went home and immediately joined the Replant Wife Facebook Group. There, I get to interact with Audrea, Darlene, and Barb, but I have also met Replant Wives from the Midwest, the Pacific Coast, and the Northeast United States. It is a closed group, so wives can be transparent without worrying about breaking confidentiality. They can share their burdens and know that someone out there understands what they are going through. They can share helpful articles and books they’ve read, but they also share prayer requests and biblical questions. It’s a forum for pastor’s wives in church renewal, so there are even helpful tools for struggling congregations.

Some of the questions that are asked and answered are practical– “Has anyone done VBS on a budget? What tools were helpful?” “Has anyone been involved in rewriting bylaws? What did you run into that you didn’t expect?” “What is a great meal for unexpected company or for feeding a large crowd?” These questions are answered by other women in the context of church renewal– churches with normative attendance, budgets, and resources. Churches a lot like yours.

This online connection fosters a community. Now, when I go to a replant conference with my husband, I can connect with the women I know from the Facebook page and get updates on their lives and ministries. We look forward to seeing each other and catching up. Our community has borne each others burdens and celebrated each others successes. We are truly in it together.

The Replant Wife Website, Blog, and Podcast

Another important resource for Replant Wives is the website, which also houses the blog. Audrea, Darlene, and Barb have all penned blog posts regarding common issues in this renewal life. Audrea wrote on navigating the post-holiday blues, Barb has written a series on longevitiy in ministry, and Darlene is writing about finding joy in trials. Think of this website as the “landing page” for all things Replant Wife. In addition to Audrea, Darlene, and Barb, there are also resources from Kathy Addis (wife of Andy Addis), Jeanette Pugh (wife of Colin Pugh), and Joyce Jackson (wife of David Jackson), each of whom bring their own stories of ministry mountains and valleys.

In addition to the incredible resources the three women have cultivated, they also have links to NAMB’s replanting resources. NAMB is consistently looking for ways to support and care for pastors in ministry and one of those focuses has to be the pastor’s family. In a replant/revitalization, where there are potentials for seasons of change and conflict, this is even more important. A pastor does not weather the conflict alone– his family will feel it, too. His wife will need support and encouragement, and she can find it within those resources.

But I think the best resource the women leading this effort have cultivated is their podcast. This podcast seeks to be a refuge for the replant wife to be equipped and encouraged for the work God has called her to do. Listening to it, you feel like you’re sitting around with three friends discussing Jesus, the bible, ministry, and families. There, the three women discuss their blogs and talk about important topics in church renewal. They take the time to really dive into scripture and give biblical, practical advice. They remind the listener that she is not alone in this work. But they also remind her that this work is God’s glorious calling.

For every replant pastor, there is a replant wife who needs to know she is not alone. We are here for you and we want to hear from you! The Lord has called us to bring dying churches back to life– that’s an amazing honor!

If you want to meet these amazing women in person, you can do so at the Am I a Replanter conference at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary April 5-6 or at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary April 12-13. (And, yeah, their husbands will be there, too.)

Know Your Context

Written on February 27, 2024.

“Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” – Peter Drucker.

You may be able to rightly divide the word of God. You may lead people, teams, and organizations. You may care well for those in your congregation. However, without understanding your surrounding context, it will be difficult for you to connect with your people.

Bob Bumgarner, guest on the Replant Bootcamp podcast this week, said, “Listening to the field will lead you to the future.” This statement emphasizes the importance of cultural exegesis. Cultural exegesis is paying close attention to the surrounding culture around you and being able to use that to minister wherever God has placed you.

If you are involved in a Replant or Revitalization of any kind, cultural exegesis will be critical to consider, and there are several tools to help you in that effort.

Here are a few ways to be more intentional about your surrounding context, ranked from least to most important.

Study your demographic

In episodes 86 and 89 of the podcast, Josh Dryer helped us understand demographics’ vital role in your ministry. When I began working with churches at our association, we used a resource called Mission Insite to provide a detailed report of demographics in our area. Using those reports, I created customized demographics for all our churches and began speaking on Sunday evening services, doing a presentation called “Who’s My Neighbor?”

While “demographics” sounds boring to some people, this presentation helped our churches understand what the most significant ministry needs in their area. Part of cultural exegesis involves thinking missiologically. If you use demographics to pull income information, average age, ethnicity, and family structures, ask yourself, “Does my church look like my community?” Demographics paint a picture with broad strokes to help us recognize how God wants to use our churches most effectively.

Be in your community.

Another way to “Listen to the Field” is by being active in your community. As a Replant or Revitalization pastor, you will do yourself a favor by being as active in the community as possible. Some of the most helpful conversations I have been in have been at the coffee shop, a football game, or a city council meeting.

Please forgive me for quoting a Johnny Cash song instead of a theological book. Still, in the song “No Earthly Good,” Johnny says, “The gospel ain’t gospel until it is spread, but how can you share it where you’ve got your head; There are hands that reach out for a hand if you would, so heavenly minded, you’re no earthly good.” In the podcast, Bob said, “You can’t exegete your community from your desk.” Don’t forget that as a shepherd, you need to smell like the sheep. Be where your people are, and use your insight from the surrounding community to help you minister to their needs.

Listen to your people.

The best way to learn about your community and surrounding culture is to listen to your people.

What do they fear? What do they value? What is essential for your church in this community?

After doing a “Who’s My Neighbor” presentation, one of our churches recognized the need to focus outwardly on their low-income neighborhoods. So, they consulted an agency to do food drop-offs and started doing a bi-monthly food giveaway. On the second Saturday of those months, I drive through their town and see cars lined up for miles. With each bag of food, they give away tracts and invitations for people to visit their church. It all started with a pastor asking his congregation, “What do you think are major needs in our community?”

Don’t forget that those congregation members have likely been in your town longer than you and will be there long after you are gone. As they listen to you preach the word, listen to their needs and let them lead their engagement in the community.

Be led by the Holy Spirit.

Mentioned in this episode was Henry Blackaby’s classic work Experiencing God. In the book, Blackaby suggests that we should look around, see where God is at work, and then join him in that work. Blackaby would say that we need to be led by the Spirit if we are seeking to engage our communities where we are.

The Holy Spirit’s work involves prompting, convicting, and leading. If we are walking by the Spirit, expect to think of prompted ways you can understand and minister to your context. Karl Bart once said we should “Have the Bible in one hand and a newspaper in another.” Use scripture to exegete your culture. One example given was in Acts 6, where there was a need that arose among the apostles. The widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution. The word of God continued to spread when the apostles addressed the need, listened to the people, and met the community’s needs (Acts 6:1-7).

My encouragement to church leaders is that we would not be tone-deaf to the culture but would instead be good students of the culture. While the gospel’s message never changes, ministry opportunities sometimes change around us. If we study the people and listen to them while we are in the community, the Holy Spirit will lead us to minister effectively for the glory of God.

What is Working Genius and How Does it Work for You?

Written on January 30, 2024.

Over the past eighteen months, our church has been revising and rewriting the church bylaws. This has been an arduous, complicated process that took much longer than anyone expected. The team that took on the project was coed and economically and generationally diverse. We expected to have disparate opinions and different ways of looking at many of the same issues. We expected to have different strengths and weaknesses as we worked through this important project.

But there was one thing we didn’t expect– some of us felt excited during the same phases that left others feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. For several of us, the project’s initial phase was the most exciting– we loved asking questions and defining what needed to happen. The possibility of creating a new document for our church that would be used for years to come was so inspiring! The lack of structure and organization during this time felt time-consuming and unproductive for others. Likewise, some of us felt energized toward the end of the project as we saw all of the hard work come together, and we began to encourage our church about some new directions and ideas. Others were ready to move on to the next project and wished we could move quicker to the next thing.

Did these differences mean that our team was unsuccessful? Not at all. These differences are necessary and beneficial! On a recent episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, Jimbo and Bob walked listeners through a new tool called “Working Genius” by Patrick Lencioni. Though the premise may sound similar to other personality tests and quizzes, the “genius” behind Working Genius is finding out where your team’s skills lie and which parts of a project line up with those specific gifts.

The Good News: We’re All Geniuses!

One of the best aspects of Working Genius? We are all geniuses! It’s true– we all have an area of uniquely talented gifting. We are more fulfilled and happier when we can work within what we are naturally good at. In addition to seeing what our skills and gifts say about us, we can also find out where we fit within our team and project phases.

The Six Types of Working Genius

According to Lencioni, the six types of Working Genius are:

The genius of wonder: The natural gift of pondering the greater potential and opportunity in any situation. People gifted in this area love asking questions and feel creative in ambiguity.
The genius of invention: The natural gift of creating original and novel ideas and solutions. People gifted with this genius find joy in taking the challenges and generating solutions. They enjoy innovating from scratch and love a blank whiteboard piece of paper with which they can brainstorm.
The genius of discernment: The natural gift of intuitively and instinctively evaluating ideas and situations. People gifted in this area are good curators of what’s going on around them and can recognize patterns. They know how to connect the dots and give people good feedback across a broad range of topics.
The genius of galvanizing: The natural gift of rallying, inspiring, and organizing others to take action. People with this genius love to get things moving. They’re great at pushing people out of their comfort zones, inspiring them to get started, and moving them in the right direction.
The genius of enablement: The natural gift of providing encouragement and assistance for an idea or project. This genius is people-oriented– they want to help realize a vision and provide the support needed to move.
The genius of tenacity: The natural gift of pushing projects or tasks to completion to achieve results. People gifted in this genius are task-oriented. They love to take things across the finish line, and they ensure that a project is going to have the impact it’s supposed to have.

Project Stages

Every project has a workflow structure that follows a specific pattern. The initial stage, where we are asking questions and answering with possible solutions, is called “ideation.” This is the stage where people with the workplace geniuses of Wonder or Invention will feel energized, focused, and most productive.

In the next stage, we have answered our questions and have decided on a possible course of action. But we are still getting ready for the next step. We need people whose workplace genius is Discernment or Galvanizing to help us move into activation. They will help us create “buy-in” for the ideas and ensure we move in the right direction. The people with these geniuses will be excited to engage others in the work and cooperate with every team member.

Finally, after we ask and answer all the questions, cohesively move toward solutions, and ensure we are heading in the right direction, we are ready for the final stage of the project: Implementation. In this stage, people with the working genius of Enablement or Tenacity will find joy in checking off boxes, encouraging others in their work, and getting the project to completion.

The Bad News: We’re Not Always Geniuses!

Lencioni states that each person has two geniuses that fit them well– these strengths allow them to feel the most joy while at work on a project. Each person also has two Working Competencies. These are the areas where we can perform the work, and we may even find satisfaction in it. While we might be somewhat gifted in these areas, they do not bring us joy. We also have two areas that are working frustrations. These areas bring us– you guessed it– frustration. These are the areas where we just really don’t enjoy this aspect of a project.

Unfortunately, we are not always able to avoid those Working Frustrations. As Replant Pastors, we are often called to work on a project from start to finish, regardless of which stage of the project brings us joy. So, how do we work within those moments of frustration without getting… frustrated?

Finding Einstein

There is this temptation, especially as a Replant Pastor with limited resources and limited people, to believe that you have to do it all. Everything rests on you. Each project is for you to accomplish from start to finish, whether rewriting bylaws or redoing the children’s classrooms.

Pastor, here is some truth: You can’t do it all. If you thought you could, you would quickly discover that road leads to exhaustion, discouragement, and burnout. (See last week’s podcast episode and blog for some tips to avoid burnout.) You need other people. You specifically need other people who aren’t just like you. You need other geniuses in the room!

I can tell you from experience it isn’t easy to work with someone with a different genius. If you have the genius of Wonder, you’re going to frustrate someone with the genius of Tenacity. While you’re asking all the questions, they’ll just want to push forward to the part where they can start doing something. If you have the genius of Invention, you may feel unsupported by someone with the genius of Discernment who doesn’t think your idea is a perfect one.

But we must recognize that those differences, however frustrating they may be, allow us to work better. Romans 12:3-8 reminds us that God, in His grace, gives us different gifts– but just as important, it reminds us that we aren’t to think more highly of ourselves because of our specific gifts. We cannot envy someone else’s unique gifts or judge their gifts as somehow less than ours.

I recently attended a symphony concert with my daughter. As we listened to the incredible music, I never thought, “Man, I wish this was just 150 trumpets all doing the same thing.” As much as I might love to hear the trumpet, the music was beautiful because every instrument was playing its part at the perfect time and volume. The trumpet player wasn’t jealous of the violinist because it took both of them to create the symphonic sound. Likewise, the trumpet player didn’t look down on the harpist because a trumpet couldn’t make that sound, which was necessary for the piece.

Find the other Einsteins in your congregation with a genius that is different than yours– and then work with them on projects to make sure you’re all playing your part cohesively and beautifully for the Gospel.

If you want to take the Working Genius test or purchase it for your team, you can find more information here: https://www.workinggenius.com/about. And if you’re interested in other resources for team building and team strategies, check out our podcast episodes on Leadership Judo by searching the term or by looking at Les McKeown’s work on Predictable Success.

Integrity in Leadership- Part Five of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on February 20, 2023.

This is part five of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, Part two, Goodwill, can be found here, Part Three, Empathy, can be found here, and Part Four, Respect, can be found here.

For the past five weeks, we have studied the traits of a Godly leader and the qualities we must have to fulfill God’s calling. This week, we end the series with a characteristic that builds on the other four: Integrity. Integrity is the direct result of having humility, goodwill, empathy, and respect for others– but without integrity, none of the others will do any good.

Failure to Stand

In structural engineering, one of the most important aspects of architecture and building is structural integrity. Without it, a building can be destroyed if a disaster strikes.

In Ancient Rome, an entrepreneur named Atilius set about to build a new amphitheater for patrons to watch gladiator competitions. Atilius was wealthy but opted for a quick and cheap construction. At its completion in 27 AD, the Fidenae Amphiteater was set to hold 50,000 spectators– but due to its lack of structural integrity, the amphitheater collapsed under the weight, resulting in the deaths of over 20,000 people. The integrity couldn’t support the demand.

As replant pastors, we must remember that a lack of integrity won’t show up in the good times of growth and revival. As Carey Nieuwhof writes, “‘Normal’ doesn’t really test your integrity. Crises do. But when a crisis comes, it’s often too late to fix what’s wrong. The damage is happening in real-time.” This is the problem with a lack of integrity– you won’t know you lack it until you need it.

Godly Integrity

Thankfully, God is not silent when it comes to this subject. God’s word speaks directly to the topic of integrity so that we can remain “structurally intact” in times of crisis.

In Matthew 5:37, Jesus tells us, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” In Proverbs 10:9, Solomon reminds us, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. And again in Proverbs 11:3, we read, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Both Job and David are praised by God for their integrity and their uprightness. In Titus 2:6-8, Paul reminds Titus to “Show [himself] in all respects to be a model of good works, and in [his] teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say” about them.

Imperatives for Integrity

There are five imperatives to be a leader with integrity. When we look at these, we have to be willing to examine ourselves and see where we are lacking. Without that examination, we run the very real risk that the next crisis will be the one that exposes our weakness.

Authenticity: As Bob pointed out on the podcast, this word may need a bit of reclamation. Often when someone says they are “being authentic” today, what they typically mean is that they are comfortable with their sin. There is a lack of conviction that allows them to sink to their base level, whether that means using foul language regularly or being too rude in their speech. At our core, we are sinful people, so if being “authentic” means that you aren’t allowing God’s conviction to change you, it’s time to remind yourself that you are still being sanctified. If we look at what it means to be “authentic” in the biblical sense, it means you can be “authenticated” as to your ownership. When people walk away from their encounters with you, do they feel you represented Christ to them? Can they tell that God is the author of your life? Is there evidence to show that you belong to Him? Are you marked by the fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5?
Consistency: Maya Angelou has a great quote on consistency. She said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It really speaks to the idea that we need to accept what people show us through their behavior. But the inverse is true, as well– we are showing our teams and our congregations who we are through our behavior, too. If you are habitually late to meetings, what you’ve displayed is that you don’t value your team’s time. If you consistently fail to respond to messages or to do what you say you will, then you’ve shown others that you aren’t dependable and they shouldn’t rely on you. When you act differently at your vocational job than you do in the pulpit, your reputation is tarnished and you seem inauthentic to others. A leader with integrity is consistent with his behavior.
Tell the truth: This seems self-explanatory, but a leader with integrity has to tell the truth. Like our structural engineering example, if our foundation can’t be trusted, we will fall. All of us have heard stories of pastors whose private life proved their public persona to be a lie. While they preached a good Word, they lived a lie of infidelity and abuse. Lying erodes trust. If you can’t be trusted to tell the truth, then you can’t be trusted to lead well. When you lie, you encourage other people to lie to you, as well. Telling the truth keeps you accountable to others.
Seeks feedback: A leader with integrity is looking for ways to grow and change. They never see themselves as the smartest person in the room, because they know that everyone has blind spots to things. By definition, a blind spot is something you can’t see yourself, you must ask others to help you. Proverbs 12:1 tells us, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (Don’t get mad at me, God said it.) Leaders with integrity look for accountability. I have a small circle of people that I trust to challenge me and help me grow. Any one of those people have access and authority in my life to tell me when I’m headed in the wrong direction.
Trustworthiness: If you look back at our journey through the five characteristics of Godly leaders and the five imperatives that go with each one, you will find that they all add up to this final character trait, being trustworthy. Can your church trust you? Can your spouse? Can your team? You may think immediately, yes, of course, but can I challenge you? Ask them. Ask them if they feel that you are trustworthy. Do they feel that you have the integrity you need to withstand the strong winds and weight of a crisis? Do they feel that they are safe with you as the leader? (If they are too scared to answer the question, then they have answered the question.)

Summing it Up

As we’ve studied the five characteristics of a Godly leader, we can see how each builds on the next. The fruit of godly leadership is best summed up by Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul says, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness (goodwill toward others), with patience (empathy for others), bearing with one another in love (respecting others), eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit (integrity) in the bond of peace.” (ESV, italics mine)

When we look at these traits, we may be quick to assume we are doing well in each of them. But I encourage you to remember that a crisis for your church may only be one phone call away. There is too much to lose to take these imperatives lightly. We are in a battle for eternity, and when the battle gets intense, will we be left standing?

Empathy in Leadership- Part Three of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on February 6, 2023.

Empathy

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, and Part two, Goodwill, can be found here.

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test? I took one early in my spiritual journey. While I was excited that I scored well for the gifts of exhortation and teaching, I was shocked to realize I scored very low in mercy and empathy. Out of a possible 100 points, I scored a FOUR in the gift of mercy. A FOUR. It doesn’t take a math wiz to realize that a 4 out of 100 would be a failing score on any test.

I asked a mentor if she could help me understand how I could be gifted at exhortation (insinuating that I am an encourager by nature) but score so low in mercy and empathy and she put it this way:

Two people are walking one day and see a third person stuck in a deep pit. The person gifted in exhortation calls down and says, “Hey! How’d you get stuck in this pit?” The person answers, “I’m not sure. I’m just here and can’t get out!” The Encourager says, “Hang on! I can help! I’m going to go get a ladder so we can get you out!” When she comes back with the ladder, two people are in the pit. She calls down, “Hey! Why did you get in the pit with them?” And the other person says, “Well, I saw they were alone and I knew I could help by sitting with them in the dark.”

My mentor said, “You are the person getting the ladder. You have sympathy and want to fix the problem. But the person who crawls into the pit with them? That person has empathy.”

I knew I needed to develop better empathy skills if I wanted to lead like Jesus. In a recent Replant Bootcamp podcast episode, JimBob discussed this invaluable characteristic of a Godly leader and the difference it can make in the life of a replant pastor.

The Definition of Empathy

There is pushback in some circles toward the idea of “empathy” toward others in a pastoral context. We seem to sometimes equate it with “acceptance” of a person’s actions. Unfortunately, this not only mis-defines empathy, it misses an important aspect of mercy in our ministry to others. Empathy, by definition, is not ignoring the actions that brought someone to where they are– it is putting yourself in their shoes and feeling their pain as though it were your own.

Some of us have also equated empathy with sympathy. But, again, we miss the definition of both when we conflate the two. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Empathy says, “I am with you in this pain and this is happening to us.” Sympathy allows you a lesser sense of involvement because it allows you to stay removed from the pain of another person.

A third definition is helpful here, too, when we look at empathy. Compassion is empathy in action. You are so motivated by the pain of someone else that it moves you toward action. This response can be difficult for those of us who were never shown compassion from our parents. If the reply to your pain was an exasperated parent saying, “Well if you hadn’t done XYZ, then this wouldn’t have happened.“ Or “get over it. You’re fine,” you are going to find it very difficult to come to a place of empathy with others. Likewise, if you had a very emotional parent who made your pain more about them than about you, you will likely have a hard time dealing with being empathetic toward someone else’s emotional pain. You have not had empathy modeled for you, so it will be hard to understand why you need to give it to others.

The Demand for Empathy

While all pastors should practice empathy as they counsel and work with the people their team, replant pastors have a unique role to play as they serve. In a replant, there are likely to be two issues that demand we respond with empathy. The first is the propensity toward change in a replant. In a separate blog and podcast, the Replant Bootcamp team discussed the emotional cycle of change. As you guide your church through transformation, empathy helps you seek to not only understand negative pushback toward change, but also to navigate through someone’s emotional response to it. The second issue a replant pastor faces is the need to reach the community around them. The experiences in the surrounding community may be very different from your own. Your response to their pain must be from a place of understanding and empathy. People who are hurting need to hear and know that you care and have compassion for them so that they can hear the hope of the Gospel.

This isn’t a new idea. This characteristic of compassion and empathy is modeled in the way Jesus saw and ministered to people. Jesus repeatedly felt compassion toward people and moved to action by his care for them.

In Mark 1:41, the Bible tells us Jesus was “moved with pity” as he healed a leper. In Mark 6:34, he “had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd and he began to teach them many things.” In Mark 8:2, Jesus states that he “had compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.” He then directs his disciples to feed the crowd. In Luke 7:13, Jesus heals the widow’s son after having compassion on her and saying, “do not weep.” And in both the parable of the good Samaritan and the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus states that the character’s actions came from a place of compassion and empathy for the person in need.

Jesus consistently treated people with empathy, and his compassion moved him toward action. He didn’t condone their sin or become frustrated with it. He simply cared about them enough to show them grace and mercy so that they could hear and receive the ultimate answer to their needs– the Gospel.

The Development of Empathy

Fortunately for me, failing in the area of mercy and empathy doesn’t have to be a permanent position. Empathy is a skill any leader can develop with time. There are 5 ways that you can become more empathetic toward the people you serve:

1. Be fully present. The people you serve need to know that they are important to you. Give them your full attention.
2. Be an active listener. Engage people and actively listen to their stories. You may want to put your phone down and exercise curiosity. Ask about their perspective and their background. What led them to this moment? What experiences have they had?
3. Suspend judgment. Seek to understand where someone is coming from before you make judgments about them. Remember their experiences have informed their emotions and actions, and their experience may be different than yours.
4. Create compassionate understanding. Before you attempt to “solve” an issue, try to understand the other person’s perspective on it. Be compassionate as you try to help them move toward resolution.
5. Practice proactive caring. Meet the person’s needs as you’re able to, whether that’s being actively involved in meeting physical needs, or simply sitting with them as they need you.

When we practice Godly empathy, we are modeling Christ’s compassion for others. To truly be a godly leader, one must be willing to sit with someone else’s pain the way He did. Jesus allowed himself to be moved into someone else’s pain, even to the point of weeping with them or over them.

Sit in the pit with the person, and then crawl out together. You’ll both be grateful you did.

Some resources on Empathy are this article by Daniel Harrison and this blog post by Scot McKnight.

EP 172 – NEW YEAR, NEW FOCUS

Written on January 4, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 172 - NEW YEAR, NEW FOCUS

00:00 / 26:06

Hey there Bootcampers! We’re back from our Holiday break, we’re jumping right in and getting down to business and discussing the important awareness of how you live your life as a leader. Our good friends at First Coast Churches hosted an annual meeting where Lance Witt presented some great info on how Pastors can move beyond the grind.

Every leader lives on two stages:

The front stage-everyone sees
The backstage-clutter, curtains, chaos not many ever see this

The challenge many Pastors face is staying connected to and loving Jesus, the Shepherd, more than the sheep business. How do you do that? Witt, provides some helpful framework for us from Psalm 23

Create space and time for unhurried time with God
Pay attention to what you are paying attention to
Let rest – restore you
Grab your calendar by the throat-don’t let life or ministry plan you-proactively plan with the Lord’s guidance.
Engage good self-care rather than self-medication
Practice a Sabbath (you need a day off)
Let your time with God give embolden you with courage
Receive the voice of God’s blessing

There’s a whole lot more packed into this EP, check it out!

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The Balancing Act: How to Juggle Ministry and Family

Written on December 12, 2022.

Is it possible to balance the demands of our ministry and the needs of our family? How can we walk the tightrope between being “on-call” for our congregation’s needs and getting rest to be able to meet those needs? If we work 60+ hour weeks, what is left to give our family?

Bryan Dyson, the former CEO of Coca-Cola, once gave a commencement speech in which he made this analogy:

“Imagine life as a game in which you juggle some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends, and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that ‘work’ is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

In my own life, I have labeled the balls somewhat differently, but I certainly agree with and embrace the analogy.

Replant pastors are juggling so many balls, it may feel nearly impossible to label which ones are glass and which are rubber. But those labels may reveal the difference between a successful juggling act and a floor full of broken glass.

Struggling with Juggling

While identifying the balls can be helpful, most can agree the hardest part of juggling isn’t knowing the type of balls in the air. It’s keeping them all in the air. While you can drop some of them, the show is certainly more successful if you can keep them going.

As pastors, there is often a feeling of immediacy to every demand– it can all feel like there is an emergency around every corner. “I have to help this person, be at that hospital, take care of this facility need, get that bill paid, go to this event, get to that game…” The list is endless. And that’s just it– there is always something else to do!

So how do pastors learn how to juggle?

It’s All About the Timing

On Episode 116 of the podcast, JimBob discussed the answer to this very question and came up with eight ways to balance family and ministry.

Attend your children’s events. No matter what your child is interested in, whether it be theater, a sporting event, or debate club, your attendance at their event is important to them. You need to prioritize attending these events. They will always remember looking in the stands or in the audience and seeing their biggest fan out there rooting for them.
Keep dating your wife. Date night doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to be a lavish dinner at a swanky steakhouse. It can be just taking a drive to a local park for lunch while the kids are in school and having a picnic of McDonald’s cheeseburgers. It can be breakfast at a local diner on a Saturday morning. If you have small kids, find friends who have kids at similar ages and trade weekends with each other. They watch your kids one weekend, you return the favor the next. The important thing isn’t where you go or what you do– it’s that you take time to do it.
Speaking of your wife, remember that the church hired YOU. Your wife is like any other church member. She should be able to choose where to serve in the church that benefits her God-given talents and abilities. Your wife is not called to be every ministry’s lead person. Rest assured, if you push her to be involved in everything, you will have a burnt out support partner and you will both suffer because of it.
Remember to keep a Sabbath– and it won’t be Sunday. Sunday is a work day for pastors. You have to be diligent about creating a Sabbath on another day of the week, a day where you are off duty and can truly find rest.
Take a vacation! You need a couple of weeks AT MINIMUM to recharge and reset from church life. Trust that God has everything under control and allow your fellow ministry leaders to handle everything while you are gone. Be diligent about setting a boundary for your time off with your family.
Have a rhythm to your time with your family. Carve out specific times that are solely for your family. Be very careful not to let anything interfere with that. Your family will know that the specific family time is important to you and they will feel honored that you have set it aside for them.
Find time to do something physical. Much of the work of pastoring and shepherding is mental and emotional. Your brain and your spirit are occupied in this work 100% of the time. You need to balance that with physical activity that lets your brain rest while your hands work. Some pastors find this time at the gym, others find home improvement projects helpful. Anything that allows you to rest your mind but engage your physical body.
Most importantly, be PRESENT. Don’t just be “there,” be fully present and engaged when you are with your family. If you need to turn off notifications for that time, or set your phone aside, do it. There is a myth out there that we multitask. We can’t. Our brain actually has to stop and start each task, which takes MORE time, not less. You cannot be present with your family and also present with your phone and your social media. You need to choose one– and by this time, you should realize it should be your family.

Sometimes, You Gotta Drop the Ball

The truth is, there will be times in ministry when you have to drop the balls. You aren’t Superman, but more than that, you aren’t God. You can’t juggle the needs of your entire congregation, your facility, your other job (if you have one), your community, and your family without occasionally needing to put down everything and focus on just carrying the very fragile, very important glass ball until you are ready to start juggling again.

Church will always take as much as you are willing to give. Church work can be a ravenous beast, and you can never feed it “enough.” There will always be work that needs to be done and ministry that needs to be led. But there are very rarely true emergencies that require your immediate attention, even though it may feel like it. (Marriages don’t end at 11:30 pm when they finally call you for help– that marriage will last until tomorrow when you can get to them.) You must be willing to prioritize your time and set boundaries that allow you to keep your family- and your sanity- intact.

Stewardship Matters

Written on December 9, 2022.

MINE!

Is sinful nature difficult to identify? Are we really born into sin? Perhaps if you grew up on an island completely shut off from the rest of society, you might be blind to the idea of a sinful nature. We tend to identify it in other people before seeing it in ourselves, because our pride keeps us from believing that we could possibly be full of sin (ironic).

But anyone who’s had kids can identify this pretty quickly. I have a two year old toddler at home who is soaking in all the words right now. One that has become his favorite is “Mine!” When he first started shouting this word, I began to think: did I teach him this? Did his mom teach him this? We may have taught him the words “mine” and “yours,” but we certainly did not teach him that everything he touches is…”MINE!”

Sinful nature: we have a natural inclination to sin; given the choice to do God’s will or our own, we will naturally choose our own way over God’s. We inherited this sin nature from the first man and woman, and it makes us naturally rebellious to God. Consider Romans 5:12, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.”

This sin nature was warned to us, and unfortunately given to us, as a fulfillment of what God told Adam in the garden: Genesis 2:17, “but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” The sin of Adam caused spiritual, physical, and relational death to be brought into the world.

The most prominent way this sinful nature presents itself is in the form of pride. “Everything is MINE,” the toddler says. But unfortunately, we don’t grow out of this thinking: we still think everything belongs to us.

YOURS!

The topic of Stewardship is extremely important to the Christian life. It’s meant to be a guiding principle to everything we do for God’s glory. But before we seek to steward anything, we must be reminded that everything we have belongs to God. I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 4:7, “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”

The Bible clearly tells us that, “The Earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein” (Psalm 24:1). James would tell us this: “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:16-17).

Mike Ayers, in Stewardship, Not Ownership, says the following:

“When we believe that the things we possess are actually ours or exist because of us, they begin to control and define us rather than the other way around. Consequently, our security and identity becomes rooted in them. And then, we are unable to separate ourselves from them, or release them, or trust God with them because to do so would mean to lose ourselves. This was never God’s intention for the gifts He gives His creation.”

We see stewardship all the way back into the creation account, where God gave Adam the responsibility to care for creation by working and tending to the garden (Gen. 2:15). We are called to steward what God has given us for his glory, knowing that everything we have is His.

Stewardship as a Ministry Leader

So many churches have struggles in decision-making, financial expenditures, and even accomplishing goals because they have an ownership culture, not a stewardship culture. For example, when re-thinking church renovations like furniture, paint, and carpet, it can be hard to let go, because we become attached to the things we spend our money on. We think it belongs to us. When re-evaluating a ministry event or class, it can be difficult to let go, because sister Susan started it; it belongs to her. But does it?

In order for us to change the thinking of our church members, we must be modeling it ourselves first. For example, if we are trying to encourage church members to think biblically about stewardship, but we have a difficulty letting go of that special, antique pulpit, we likely won’t get anywhere. Being a leader means leading by example, especially when it comes to stewardship.

In Ep. 168 of the podcast, Jimbo used the biblical example of Matthew 25:14-30: The parable of the talents. In this story, each servant received a different amount of property. Two of the servants were grateful with what they were given, they went and did what they could for the Master and invested. However, one of the servants was ungrateful, having received only one talent. Out of fear of losing what belonged to the Master, he went out and hid it in a field. Afterwards, the servant was scolded for his unwillingness to do what was asked of him, with what he had been given.

The point that Jesus was driving home in this context, was that we need to be prepared for his return by being good stewards of what he’s entrusted to us. The story of the talents is a good reminder for us not to fall into the trap of comparison. Some were given a different measure of talents, they still had the same responsibility. It does not matter what size church you have, how many resources you have, or how many people are left on your membership roll, God wants you to steward it well for his glory.

Faith, Fear, or Frustration

The parable of the talents teaches us that the first two servants acted out of faith. They knew who their master was. They took joy in their small part of managing what had been given to them, so they sought to make much of it for his pleasure. However, the third servant acted out of fear and frustration. He was fearful for how his Master would react (showing that he really did not know his Master) and he was frustrated that he didn’t get as much as the other two.

When we think about the resources we have to work with, are you doing the work of ministry out of fear or frustration? It’s so easy to get into a mindset of comparison where we don’t have as much as another larger church in town, but we must see the bigger picture. It takes every church working together to reach our communities for Christ.

This is why I love working at a Baptist Association; we encourage church partnerships. Would it be easy for our smaller churches to get jealous of the larger church in town? Yes, but we must realize that every church has its own DNA, and they all reach people for Christ in different ways. Therefore, we encourage church partnerships where we can for the glory of God.

It’s the same in a Replant or Revitalization. Never fail to thank God for the blessing of having the opportunity to do ministry. God knows what He is doing. His desire is not for you to take a prideful ownership of what he’s given you – He desires that you would be found faithful in the small things. We must realize that He’s given us this ministry to steward it and glorify Him above all things.

There are a plethora of resources on the topic of Stewardship, but here are a few I like: Kingdom Stewardship, Stewardship: A Christian Duty, and Stewardship: Discovering Godly Ambition for Your Life. If you think your church is in danger of closing, take this church health assessment. This self-assessment is meant to help assist you in determining the current state of your local church. Another way to get started is by taking an introductory course that will help anyone understand what church replanting is and how it provides hope for dying churches.

Plagued by Discouragement? I Know the Cure.

Written on November 21, 2022.

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine about all of the struggles and concerns she was facing. Her job was going through a stressful transition, her parent’s health was declining, she had financial issues that resulted in much anxiety for her future, and her children were experiencing separate crises of their own. At one point in her conversation she sighed and buried her head in her hands and said, “I’m just so tired.”

But here’s the thing– despite all of her anxieties, she was getting plenty of sleep. She wasn’t physically tired. She was disheartened and dispirited. She was discouraged. She was working hard and she was taking care of so many people, and she was feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances that she felt exhausted in her soul.

I am sure that many readers can see themselves in this person. Pastors in general can feel discouragement from a variety of sources– the Monday morning inbox with a complaint about the sermon, the member who decides to go elsewhere with seemingly no real reason, the stress of his family living in a “fishbowl,” the burden of caring for everyone else. But replant pastors are susceptible to an even greater level of discouragement. For a replant pastor, the lack of resources can be a huge discouragement. A lack of funds, people, time, and materials can make changes go slow but frustrations run high. Many pastors are plagued by discouragement.

It’s an Epidemic

This plague of discouragement is not new. In the first century, Augustine of Hippo wrote a passage on how to overcome discouragement to his fellow colleagues in the faith. And yet, here we are, 2000 years later, and a Barna study recently revealed that the number of pastors who have seriously considered giving up their ministry sits at 42%, an increase of almost 15% in just the last year. Even among the pastors who haven’t considered quitting, a large percentage are facing burnout, stress, and isolation (see a separate post on pastoral friendships on why isolation is dangerous to your ministry). If almost 50% of pastors are so discouraged they are thinking of leaving the ministry, it’s not a small issue. It’s an epidemic.

In my own life, I have seen countless pastors, specifically replant pastors, face battles with depression and discouragement. Pastors who entered their replant bursting with ideas and excitement, ready to breathe life into their congregation and into their church. Within a couple of years, many of these same men (and their families) are feeling beat down and beat up. They don’t feel effective in their ministry, they are exhausted, and they are working as hard as possible not to drown under the weight of expectations.

What is the cure?

I have good news.

There is a cure for discouragement. It’s actually almost in the very word discouragement. Can you guess? The cure for discouragement is… encouragement. That’s right, the cure for the feelings of despair, frustration, and exhaustion, is to feel hope, to have support, and to inspire confidence.

But how? How can we get from one to the other?

Way back in episode 11, Jimbo and Bob (JIMBOB) helped us to answer that question with their most encouraging friend, Mark Hallock. Mark is one of the most encouraging people on the planet. If you’ve met him in person, you already know this, because you’ve probably experienced the “Hallock Hug.” There is a reason he’s referred to as “Happy Huggy Hallock.”

In the episode, the fellas discuss encouragement as it relates to Mark’s book, The Relentless Encourager. Mark points out that many of us have encouraging thoughts, but we don’t allow them to become words. So instead of our encouragement blessing another person, it’s just another thought, no more or less than what to buy at the grocery store later. We are often guilty of forgetting to encourage others, especially as we are feeling discouraged and frustrated. We are not intentional about making sure our encouraging thoughts become words and actions. We may even feel some insecurity or pride that won’t allow us to admit when someone else is doing a job well. But that attitude costs us.

The added supplement

Encouragement for others is like a glass of cold water to a parched soul– and not only to theirs, but to ours, as well. Telling someone about the difference they make in your life and lifting them up creates in us another powerful combatant to discouragement: Gratitude.

Have you ever seen a photo negative? It is the same picture, but it is distorted because the focus is on the wrong thing. We experience this when we are so discouraged we only see the negative. When there is a lack of resources, the discouraged heart sees only what it lacks. But the encouraging heart looks for those doing much with little, and in encouraging them, the encouraging heart becomes the grateful heart.

Perhaps you are wondering how you can possibly encourage someone else when you are feeling discouraged yourself. Maybe you’re even wondering why you should, since no one seems to be intent on encouraging you. (I won’t judge you for that! I’ve had that same feeling!) But the truth is, we are never more like Christ than when we see people as God sees them and we encourage them in their walk. Even as Jesus was discouraged to the point of sweating drops of blood in the garden, He prayed for his disciples’ encouragement (John 17). When we look for the ways we can express encouragement to others, we are looking for the positive in them. We are loving our neighbor and our enemy better when we seek to encourage them, and this, in turn, makes us thankful for them.

This thankfulness and gratitude cultivates an environment of encouragement to the church. Can you imagine the difference your church could make in the community if you became known as the church where people are encouraging and thankful? If you were known as a place people could come out of the darkness and experience light and hope? How can we facilitate that attitude in our churches if we don’t have it ourselves?

A replant pastor needs to breed thankfulness in his congregation. To do that, he must first be grateful. Instead of focusing on the frustrations and the negatives, he must look at what God is doing in the church. God is not done with your church, nor with you! Look at all you can be thankful for:

God has called you to raise dying churches and to reach the faithful– what an incredible calling! What an incredible opportunity to see growth and change!
You can be thankful you are preaching faithfully– you are doing your part, and you know you serve a faithful God who will do His!
You get to reach people with the Gospel– I am always in awe that God uses such a flawed vessel for His Kingdom purposes! So blessed to have been even a small part in someone’s journey toward redemption and grace!

Think about your church. The struggles, yes, but I bet there have been successes, too! I am sure that while there may be some “grumpies,” there are probably more faith-filled believers who stand excited and ready to see their church thrive again. Yes, there is probably a lack of money– but God can do much with little and you are learning to trust Him in that process!

Now, think of the people who are standing with you. The friends, family members, church members, fellow pastors– have you thanked them? Have you encouraged them? Have you sought to tell them the difference it makes in your life to have them stand with you in your struggles?

This is how we defeat discouragement.

We look for the positive in others and encourage them, and then we cultivate a heart of thankfulness and gratitude for them.

Go seek someone to encourage today.