Tag: discouragement

Street sign with discouragement and encourage at opposite posts

Lessons for Seasons of Discouragement

Man discouraged by bitter tasting coffee

Have you ever had one of those days where it seemed like nothing you did worked out the way you thought it would? Last week, I woke up late because I fell back to sleep after my alarm went off. The set of scrubs I planned to wear had an unknown stain on them, so I had to grab another pair–  which is when I realized I hadn’t taken them out of the washer the night before. I made coffee then realized we were out of coffee creamer.  I resigned myself to a cup of bitter, black coffee, only to burn my mouth on it. On my way to work, my car reminded me that I had forgotten to get gas the day before and when I finally got to work, my first patient of the day was a “spicy” cat who scratched and bit me. Nothing I touched seemed to go according to plan.

By 9 am, I needed a do-over.

I think we’ve all had days like that. But what happens when those days seem to turn into weeks…or even months? When, like the Rembrandts sang, “it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year?”

In replant ministry there can be times where nothing seems to go right. What do we do when we’re in a season of discouragement?

On a recent episode of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob pointed us toward 2 Corinthians 1:10. Paul’s words to the Corinthian church give us a guide for our own seasons of frustration.

Paul’s Affliction in Asia

In Paul’s opening words to the Corinthian church, he tells them of all he has suffered since his last letter. In verse 8 he alludes to an affliction he suffered in Asia, which was so great that he “despaired of life itself.” Paul was to the point of thinking death might be the only outcome for his struggle– or at least preferable to it!

Paul could be referring to any number of trials. In Ephesus, Paul faced an angry mob, imprisonment, beatings, and general suffering. He could perhaps be referring to his “thorn in his flesh” that he discusses later in the same letter to the Corinthians (2 Cor. 12:7). We don’t know exactly which specific affliction Paul is referring to, but we know it was bad enough for him to think death was more appealing. 

I would be lying if I said I hadn’t felt the same way at some points in our replant journey.  I’m sure you have, too.

But Paul doesn’t give up. He tells the Corinthians that his suffering led him not to death, but instead to God, the giver of life. He was forced to rely on God and not his own power through those trials.  Then Paul tells them that he was able to find peace in his suffering by looking to his past, present, and future in Christ. This instruction helps us, too.

street signs with past present and future all meeting

Past Victories

Paul opens verse 10 with a look at his past. “He [has] delivered us from such a deadly peril.”  Paul focused on the fact that God had delivered him before.

When we go through seasons of discouragement, one of the best reminders for us is to look back at our past victories in Christ.  One of my favorite sayings is, “So far, you’ve survived 100% of your worst days.” It’s a good reminder that I’ve had other victories.  There have been times where I didn’t think I could stand, but I did, and I’m still standing.

Bob used another phrase from a pastor he once knew: “If Jesus can take care of your salvation, there ain’t nothing he can’t take care of.” Christ forgave your sins.  All of the trials of this world are nothing compared to Christ removing the debt of sin in our lives.  But not only has He forgiven us of our sins– His death also satisfied the wrath of God so that we now have peace with God.  

God has delivered you from sin. And because of this truth, we can trust in God.  This moment in your ministry is not  something that will stop God from moving on your behalf. After all you’ve seen God do in your life, don’t you think He’s big enough to handle your current crisis?

Present Assurance

 

Paul next says, “and He will deliver us.” (emphasis mine) Paul was assured that his affliction was not the end of God’s work in his life.  He was able to look at his present circumstances and know that God was still working within them.  He was still experiencing struggles and trials, but he saw God’s hand in them.

One of the things we forget as we struggle is that whatever we are going through is not a surprise to Jesus.  There wasn’t an emergency session in the Trinity with hand-wringing and frantic scrambling to find a crisis-management plan.  Your circumstances were not unforeseen by God. And since He knew what was going to happen, you can be assured that in this present moment, God has given you all that you need to get through it. 

God’s deliverance doesn’t always look like we think it will.  As Bob pointed out, “If God operated how we wanted him to operate, he wouldn’t be God… And we would be.” Sometimes, God’s deliverance is painful.  Sometimes, it’s frightening.  Sometimes, it doesn’t come as quickly as we wish.  But rest assured, God will deliver.

Future Hope 

In the next line of his letter to the Corinthians, Paul writes, “On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.” Paul is now looking toward the future, knowing God will deliver him again.  Paul knows that struggles are not a one-time event.  We are not free from struggles just because we’ve gone through one. But Paul specifically says that his hope is not in himself. His hope is in Jesus.

When we hope in our circumstances, we are engaging in a futile exercise.  Our circumstances are always changing– just because today was great doesn’t mean tomorrow will be.  In a world of unknown elements, Christ is our only firm foundation, the only hope we have for deliverance.

Romans 8:28 promises us that God is working all things toward good.  Our suffering is not worthless.  It is leading toward God’s good and sovereign plan.   This is for God’s good, and for His glory. Our future seasons of discouragement are not without benefit.  He will use it to sanctify and purify us.  He will burn off the idolatry of self-reliance and self-centeredness.  Depending on Him allows us to see His glory in our trials.

One Last Thing

four seasons of tree

In those moments where everything is going wrong, it’s easy to feel like we will never see victory again.  I am sure that Paul wondered in Ephesus if he would ever be able to see the believers in Corinth or go to Rome as he had planned.  But one of the things we must remember about seasons of discouragement and frustration is that they are seasons, not a lifetime. 

When we are in the middle of struggles and trials, we have to think of it like Winter.  Is it cold and dark and even sometimes bitter?  Yes.  But in that season, deep in our souls, God is planting seeds of victory.  Soon, it will be Spring and we will experience new growth.  Some day, we will be in Summer and we will feel the joy and warmth of God’s presence as our ministry grows and flourishes.  And one day we will see a Harvest.  

Inevitably, we will experience Winter again.  And that is when the season we are going through now will be a past victory that brings us hope.

He has delivered.  He will deliver.  He will deliver us again.

EP 189 – TRAVAILS AND TROUBLES IN REPLANTING

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EP 189 - TRAVAILS AND TROUBLES IN REPLANTING
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In this EP the guys talk about their travels and a bit of their troubles on the road and then pivot to discuss an important principle related to the work of Replanting-Jesus is always with you and he will deliver you from every trial and trouble.

Here are a few highlights:

  • Troubles and challenges come in surprising ways-you want to change the bulletin and almost get fired.
  • Every ministry setting has its own set of challenges
  • Struggle and and trial are part of ministry – don’t be surprised
  • If God can save you from your sins (and he can and does) he will deliver you from everything else

We find encouragement and hope in Paul’s words:

He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 2 Corinthians 1:10

Get some help and hope for your web presence by contacting our good friends at One Eighty Digital. They are the exclusive sponsor of the Bootcamp and can get your church up and running with a website that will communicate clearly with your community.

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Man raising hands in thankfulness

Thank you, God, for the Fleas

‘Tis the season for Thankfulness.

As I write this blog post, we have just finished the biggest meal of the year.  There are only six of us gathered around our table, but I cook like there will be 20. This year we had four appetizers, three meats, seven sides, and five desserts.  It will take several days to finish leftovers, and we will all gain several pounds trying to do so, and we will vow that we hate all of these foods and can’t stand to eat any more of them… until Christmas Day, when we do it all again.  

Before anyone is too impressed with me, I will come clean and tell you that I will save up all of my cooking skills for this one day and then turn them off again. For the record, I hate cooking.  It stresses me out– the timing of everything, things getting cold while heating up others.  Every year I forget the bread until everything else is ready and then have to hold the meal until it’s finished. I worry about having enough dishes and serving spoons, and the thought of DOING those dishes… Yuck. The anxiety is enough to make me go to Cracker Barrel and call it a day.  It’s only the lack of leftovers and my family’s protests of that plan that makes me get up at the crack of dawn and start cooking the massive meal. And don’t even get me started on going to someone else’s house– the one (and ONLY) time we did that, my son threw a football in their house and broke the hand painted family portrait hanging above their fireplace.  We were ushered out rather quickly after that.  

But I digress.

the word thankful surrounded by leaves

Several years ago, I tried to start a tradition of going around the table and having each person say what they were thankful for. I think I saw a good, Christian family post about it on Facebook and I figured we were a good, Christian family so we should do that, too. Unfortunately, my teenage children were in their peak-sarcasm years and it turned into a game of “See how quickly you can get mom to stop this.”  Let me put it this way– I didn’t post their responses on Facebook.

The truth is, sometimes when people start talking about thankfulness and gratitude, I find myself very much like my teenagers were that holiday– surly and sullen, filled with frustration at the things I don’t have and discontent with what I do have.  I find it difficult to say what I’m grateful for when I am filled with discouragement.

In last year’s Thanksgiving podcast, Jimbo discussed how a story from Corrie ten Boom’s time in a concentration camp helped to remind him why it’s important to be thankful in all circumstances. You can read the complete story here, but the summary is basically this:  Corrie and her sister Betsy discuss how on earth they could possibly live through their time in the concentration camp, a place filled with discouragement and hopelessness.  Betsy reminds Corrie that 1 Thessalonians 5:14-21 tells them how to live, especially verse 18: “Give thanks in all circumstances.”  So they begin to list the things they are thankful for, including their togetherness, their ability to have their Bible, their close proximity to the other prisoners who were also hearing the Gospel.  But then Betsy goes so far as to be thankful for the fleas that are tormenting them day and night.  Corrie protests, but Betsy reminds her that it is the fleas which keep the guards away and allow them to read and proclaim the Word of God.  Without them, the girls might be punished and separated.

Sometimes I feel like Corrie.  Surely God doesn’t expect me to be thankful for the fleas in my life– those tormenting people who seem to have nothing positive to say, that bill that came when the money didn’t, the lack of spiritual (or numerical) growth in our church, the leak in the baptistry that comes on the heels of the leak in the children’s area.  Surely when God says, “be thankful in all circumstances,” He doesn’t mean these circumstances.  I see people post about being “#blessed” but I find myself wondering why we’re only “blessed” when things are going right– what about those I see who are desperate and hurting– are they blessed?  How can we be blessed when everything around us seems to be going wrong?  How can I be grateful for the problems I face and the mounting discouragement?

Then the Holy Spirit prods me toward another Scripture: Philippians 4:11.  Sure, Philippians 4:13 gets all the glory, but why was Paul able to say that he could do all things through Christ who strengthened him?  Because of verse 11.  He had learned to be content in all things, in whatever situation he faced.  His ability to be content in all things fostered his ability to do his ministry without the confines of frustration and discouragement.

Perhaps you have struggled this year with finding joy this season and feeling grateful for where God has placed you.  Pastor, can I encourage you?  Think of the “fleas” in your own life– the situations, people, or nagging problems that discourage you.  Instead of asking God to deliver you from them, ask God what He is trying to teach you through it. Instead of desiring to push “fast forward” through this time in your ministry, push “pause.” Sit with it for a moment and see where God is leading you to be content in the circumstance and then ask Him to show you how to be thankful for it.

And then, when you go around the table and say what you’re thankful for, maybe your responses will be worthy of a social media post.  At the very least, maybe your mom won’t write about it in a blog post several years later.

*On a personal note, I would just like to say that I am grateful to each of you for reading these blog posts.  I pray that they encourage and exhort you for your ministry.  I am also grateful to Bob, Jimbo, and everyone at NAMB for the opportunity to write and share my heart with each of you.  Thankful for the past and looking forward to the future!- Erin*

man with discouragement

Plagued by Discouragement? I Know the Cure.

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine about all of the struggles and concerns she was facing.  Her job was going through a stressful transition, her parent’s health was declining, she had financial issues that resulted in much anxiety for her future, and her children were experiencing separate crises of their own.  At one point in her conversation she sighed and buried her head in her hands and said, “I’m just so tired.”

But here’s the thing– despite all of her anxieties, she was getting plenty of sleep.  She wasn’t physically tired.  She was disheartened and dispirited.  She was discouraged.  She was working hard and she was taking care of so many people, and she was feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances that she felt exhausted in her soul.

I am sure that many readers can see themselves in this person.  Pastors in general can feel discouragement from a variety of sources– the Monday morning inbox with a complaint about the sermon, the member who decides to go elsewhere with seemingly no real reason, the stress of his family living in a “fishbowl,” the burden of caring for everyone else.  But replant pastors are susceptible to an even greater level of discouragement.  For a replant pastor, the lack of resources can be a huge discouragement.  A lack of funds, people, time, and materials can make changes go slow but frustrations run high.  Many pastors are plagued by discouragement.

It’s an Epidemic

This plague of discouragement is not new.  In the first century, Augustine of Hippo wrote a passage on how to overcome discouragement to his fellow colleagues in the faith. And yet, here we are, 2000 years later, and a Barna study recently revealed that the number of pastors who have seriously considered giving up their ministry sits at 42%, an increase of almost 15% in just the last year. Even among the pastors who haven’t considered quitting, a large percentage are facing burnout, stress, and isolation (see a separate post on pastoral friendships on why isolation is dangerous to your ministry).  If almost 50% of pastors are so discouraged they are thinking of leaving the ministry, it’s not a small issue.  It’s an epidemic.

In my own life, I have seen countless pastors, specifically replant pastors, face battles with depression and discouragement.  Pastors who entered their replant bursting with ideas and excitement, ready to breathe life into their congregation and into their church.  Within a couple of years, many of these same men (and their families) are feeling beat down and beat up.  They don’t feel effective in their ministry, they are exhausted, and they are working as hard as possible not to drown under the weight of expectations.

What is the cure?

scripture of 1 Thess. 5:11 aside men helping each other

I have good news.  

There is a cure for discouragement.  It’s actually almost in the very word discouragement.  Can you guess?  The cure for discouragement is… encouragement.  That’s right, the cure for the feelings of despair, frustration, and exhaustion, is to feel hope, to have support, and to inspire confidence.

But how?  How can we get from one to the other?  

Way back in episode 11, Jimbo and Bob (JIMBOB) helped us to answer that question with their most encouraging friend, Mark Hallock. Mark is one of the most encouraging people on the planet.  If you’ve met him in person, you already know this, because you’ve probably experienced the “Hallock Hug.” There is a reason he’s referred to as “Happy Huggy Hallock.”

In the episode, the fellas discuss encouragement as it relates to Mark’s book, The Relentless Encourager. Mark points out that many of us have encouraging thoughts, but we don’t allow them to become words.  So instead of our encouragement blessing another person, it’s just another thought, no more or less than what to buy at the grocery store later. We are often guilty of forgetting to encourage others, especially as we are feeling discouraged and frustrated.  We are not intentional about making sure our encouraging thoughts become words and actions.  We may even feel some insecurity or pride that won’t allow us to admit when someone else is doing a job well.  But that attitude costs us.

The added supplement

scrabble letters spell out thank you

Encouragement for others is like a glass of cold water to a parched soul– and not only to theirs, but to ours, as well.  Telling someone about the difference they make in your life and lifting them up creates in us another powerful combatant to discouragement: Gratitude.

Have you ever seen a photo negative?  It is the same picture, but it is distorted because the focus is on the wrong thing.  We experience this when we are so discouraged we only see the negative.  When there is a lack of resources, the discouraged heart sees only what it lacks.  But the encouraging heart looks for those doing much with little, and in encouraging them, the encouraging heart becomes the grateful heart.  

Perhaps you are wondering how you can possibly encourage someone else when you are feeling discouraged yourself.  Maybe you’re even wondering why you should, since no one seems to be intent on encouraging you. (I won’t judge you for that!  I’ve had that same feeling!) But the truth is, we are never more like Christ than when we see people as God sees them and we encourage them in their walk.  Even as Jesus was discouraged to the point of sweating drops of blood in the garden, He prayed for his disciples’ encouragement (John 17). When we look for the ways we can express encouragement to others, we are looking for the positive in them.  We are loving our neighbor and our enemy better when we seek to encourage them, and this, in turn, makes us thankful for them.

This thankfulness and gratitude cultivates an environment of encouragement to the church.  Can you imagine the difference your church could make in the community if you became known as the church where people are encouraging and thankful?  If you were known as a place people could come out of the darkness and experience light and hope?  How can we facilitate that attitude in our churches if we don’t have it ourselves?

A replant pastor needs to breed thankfulness in his congregation.  To do that, he must first be grateful.  Instead of focusing on the frustrations and the negatives, he must look at what God is doing in the church.  God is not done with your church, nor with you!  Look at all you can be thankful for:

  • God has called you to raise dying churches and to reach the faithful– what an incredible calling!  What an incredible opportunity to see growth and change!
  • You can be thankful you are preaching faithfully– you are doing your part, and you know you serve a faithful God who will do His!
  • You get to reach people with the Gospel– I am always in awe that God uses such a flawed vessel for His Kingdom purposes!  So blessed to have been even a small part in someone’s journey toward redemption and grace!

Think about your church.  The struggles, yes, but I bet there have been successes, too!  I am sure that while there may be some “grumpies,” there are probably more faith-filled believers who stand excited and ready to see their church thrive again.  Yes, there is probably a lack of money– but God can do much with little and you are learning to trust Him in that process!

Now, think of the people who are standing with you.  The friends, family members, church members, fellow pastors– have you thanked them?  Have you encouraged them?  Have you sought to tell them the difference it makes in your life to have them stand with you in your struggles?

This is how we defeat discouragement.

We look for the positive in others and encourage them, and then we cultivate a heart of thankfulness and gratitude for them.

Go seek someone to encourage today.

Episode #15 – Dealing with Depression and Discouragement with Special Guest Mark Clifton

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Episode #15 - Dealing with Depression and Discouragement with Special Guest Mark Clifton
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Mark Clifton, Sr. Director of Replant of the North American Mission Board, stopped by the bootcamp and dropped some great knowledge and advice about how to deal with discouragement and depression as a Replanter.

How can a Replanter stay encouraged and healthy?

  • Unfortunately many don’t.
  • Pastors operate wounded and then wound others-spending $20 on a 10 cent problem.
  • Satan’s number 1 tool against a Pastor is depression/discouragement.
  • The weight of ministry creates a cycle of discouragement and depression that often creates a victim mentality and a context in which operating with emotional intelligence is difficult.

If you find your purpose, joy and meaning in how well your church is doing–you’ll be feeding off the congregation and not feeding them. And you’ll always be searching for Joy.

Find your joy in Jesus alone.

Talk to yourself, instead of listening to yourself.

Should a Pastor admit struggles and weaknesses?

  • You need to be vulnerable as a Pastor, but you also need to be cautious about how and with whom you are vulnerable.
  • Find a group of Leaders (Other Pastors, Director of Missions, Associational Missional Strategist, Elders) who you are living in community with and be vulnerable with them.
  • Be wise about your struggles with the congregation during your preaching.
  • We must remember that we have the Gospel-our trust is not in ourselves but in Jesus.
  • Use your weaknesses and inadequacies to point to the cross instead of using them to garner sympathy. 

What are some other sources of encouragement for a discouraged Pastor/Replanter?

  • Read the Scriptures
  • Read the Puritans
  • Listen to good sermons (Spurgeon, Martin Lloyd Jones)
  • The Valley of Vision
  • Read good biographies
  • Watch historical documentaries
  • Find a Hobby
  • Enjoy your family
    • Two rules for parenting: love Jesus and have fun
    • Don’t unload your church frustrations on your spouse/family.

Relax and remember that the church is the Lord’s, he is the one who will grow it and care for it.

Fight for your joy, the gospel and your church.

Are there some signs that it’s time to consider transitioning away from your church?

  • If the work is destroying your family, faith and your Christian walk-you may need to consider stepping down.

To be honest, some men should not be Pastors, and they need to come to terms with that. They could be called to be a good church leader, a great church member.

Every Pastor must have a clear call from God-or he shouldn’t be pastoring.

Often, in the midst of discouragement a Pastor is prone to choose isolation over community.

Find a good Christian counselor-for yourself and for your congregation. 

If you are a Pastor experiencing serious discouragement please reach out to someone for help today.

Helpful Resources

Revitalize by Andy Davis

Sermons by Martin Lloyd Jones

Medication and Depression by Bob Bickford

Pastor Hotline: 1-844-PASTOR1  (1-844-727-8671)

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