Tag: discouragement

Resources for the Replant Wife

Written on April 2, 2024.

“You can’t be a pastor! That would make me a pastor’s wife! And I am NOT a pastor’s wife.” These were the very first words I said to my husband after he confessed to me that he felt God was calling him to be a pastor. (Encouraging, I know… Bear with me.) Some women attend seminary and meet their future husband while he is studying for a career in ministry. She’s prepared to be known as the “pastor’s wife” for their marriage. That is not what happened to me. I was completely unprepared to be a pastor’s wife– my husband was in logistics at a warehouse. I never imagined God would call him to be a pastor and I would be a “PW”– I didn’t even know what PW meant!

Thankfully, God brought me around and I joyfully accepted this new role. I looked at it as a big, new adventure we would go on together. My husband and I, in ministry, doing the Lord’s work. Proclaiming the Gospel to hurting and broken people, together! What could be better than that?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Oh man… She might be in for a shock.” You’re right. I was!

After 16 years in ministry, I can honestly say it has been a big adventure– one that has included many wonderful, joyful mountains, but one that also included several painful and dark valleys. Most of those valleys have happened in the season of replanting/revitalization in our church. In those valleys, it’s easy to feel isolated and alone in ministry. Looking at other churches, I would think, “They have it all figured out. They don’t seem to struggle the way we’re struggling! Maybe we just aren’t called to this.” Perhaps you have felt that way, too. If you’re a pastor reading this, I can almost guarantee your wife has felt that!

On a recent episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, host Jimbo Stewart spoke with three replant wives (one of whom is probably his favorite guest of all time) to take a look at the resources available to the wives working alongside their husbands in church renewal.

The Replant Wife Experts

During those moments of isolation and loneliness, sometimes all we need is a small reminder that we aren’t alone. This is where I found myself at the first Replant Summit I attended with my husband. We had navigated some very discouraging and hard times in our church and we signed up hoping to be refreshed and renewed. I was burdened with many needs, some spiritual and some within our own family. When I saw a breakout session for “Replant Wives,” I thought, “Nope.” The last thing I wanted to hear was how amazing life was for all those wives and how wonderful their churches were.

My husband convinced me to go, and I entered that room overwhelmed and anxious. I sat at an empty table prepared to sit quietly and speak to no one. But before I could enact that plan, other women came to sit at the table. These women were all so friendly and kind, and I found myself sharing some of my concerns with them briefly before the session even started. They seemed to understand everything I had experienced. They seemed like they “got it,” in a way that my other friends didn’t. Those women were Audrea Stewart, Darlene Dryer, and Barb Bickford, the hosts of the breakout session and the spouses of Jimbo Stewart, Josh Dryer, and Bob Bickford, respectively. Turns out, I hadn’t sat down at an empty table– I was at “their” table! (I had somehow missed the purses, laptop bags, and materials they had around the table.)

For the next couple of hours, I sat with many other women in the room as these three incredible women poured into us with biblical, practical advice for this journey. They each shared their stories, complete with heartaches and struggles. They were transparent and relatable, but also gently and wisely continued to point us each back to Christ and His leadership. As we each began to open up with our own worries and anxieties, I realized I had been wrong. I wasn’t alone or isolated. There were so many women struggling with the same issues I was– and these three “expert Replant Wives” had struggled with them, too!

I know these three women would object to being called “experts”– they are just wives who are doing their best to assist their husbands in this work of church renewal. But that day, Audrea, Darlene, and Barb gave us more than the resources of books to read, biblical passages to study, and tangible tools for problem-solving– they gave us the resource of friendship. We were able to connect with each other, as women all over the room began to bond over shared trials, joys, and everything in between. The connections I formed that day reminded me that I wasn’t alone. The resource of friendship was something that I will never forget.

The Replant Wife Facebook Page- a Source of Connection

After the Summit, I went home and immediately joined the Replant Wife Facebook Group. There, I get to interact with Audrea, Darlene, and Barb, but I have also met Replant Wives from the Midwest, the Pacific Coast, and the Northeast United States. It is a closed group, so wives can be transparent without worrying about breaking confidentiality. They can share their burdens and know that someone out there understands what they are going through. They can share helpful articles and books they’ve read, but they also share prayer requests and biblical questions. It’s a forum for pastor’s wives in church renewal, so there are even helpful tools for struggling congregations.

Some of the questions that are asked and answered are practical– “Has anyone done VBS on a budget? What tools were helpful?” “Has anyone been involved in rewriting bylaws? What did you run into that you didn’t expect?” “What is a great meal for unexpected company or for feeding a large crowd?” These questions are answered by other women in the context of church renewal– churches with normative attendance, budgets, and resources. Churches a lot like yours.

This online connection fosters a community. Now, when I go to a replant conference with my husband, I can connect with the women I know from the Facebook page and get updates on their lives and ministries. We look forward to seeing each other and catching up. Our community has borne each others burdens and celebrated each others successes. We are truly in it together.

The Replant Wife Website, Blog, and Podcast

Another important resource for Replant Wives is the website, which also houses the blog. Audrea, Darlene, and Barb have all penned blog posts regarding common issues in this renewal life. Audrea wrote on navigating the post-holiday blues, Barb has written a series on longevitiy in ministry, and Darlene is writing about finding joy in trials. Think of this website as the “landing page” for all things Replant Wife. In addition to Audrea, Darlene, and Barb, there are also resources from Kathy Addis (wife of Andy Addis), Jeanette Pugh (wife of Colin Pugh), and Joyce Jackson (wife of David Jackson), each of whom bring their own stories of ministry mountains and valleys.

In addition to the incredible resources the three women have cultivated, they also have links to NAMB’s replanting resources. NAMB is consistently looking for ways to support and care for pastors in ministry and one of those focuses has to be the pastor’s family. In a replant/revitalization, where there are potentials for seasons of change and conflict, this is even more important. A pastor does not weather the conflict alone– his family will feel it, too. His wife will need support and encouragement, and she can find it within those resources.

But I think the best resource the women leading this effort have cultivated is their podcast. This podcast seeks to be a refuge for the replant wife to be equipped and encouraged for the work God has called her to do. Listening to it, you feel like you’re sitting around with three friends discussing Jesus, the bible, ministry, and families. There, the three women discuss their blogs and talk about important topics in church renewal. They take the time to really dive into scripture and give biblical, practical advice. They remind the listener that she is not alone in this work. But they also remind her that this work is God’s glorious calling.

For every replant pastor, there is a replant wife who needs to know she is not alone. We are here for you and we want to hear from you! The Lord has called us to bring dying churches back to life– that’s an amazing honor!

If you want to meet these amazing women in person, you can do so at the Am I a Replanter conference at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary April 5-6 or at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary April 12-13. (And, yeah, their husbands will be there, too.)

two hands partnership together two puzzle pieces

The Power of Partnership

Written on March 4, 2024.

A few weeks ago, my husband Will and I attended the AMS Lab from NAMB in Atlanta, Georgia. Hundreds of pastors and AMS leaders from across the country gathered together to learn more about partnerships and collaboration in revitalizing dying churches. We listened to several leaders discuss ways their associations and churches had worked cohesively for the spread of the Gospel and each other’s benefit. We heard testimonies of how these collaborations bore the fruit of faithfulness, health, repentance, and revival. The message was clear: There is power in partnership.

In Genesis 2:18, we read that God formed Man and then came to an important realization: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now, we know that God then formed Woman and declared it “very good.” But the main idea was not merely for man and woman to be in partnership together– the main thought is that it is not good for man to be alone. Over and over in God’s Word, He reminds us that collaboration is better than alienation.

We often remind our congregations that God has formed our church like a body, quoting from 1 Corinthians and Ephesians. We tell them that we all need each other, we all have different gifts, and that we all benefit from our unity. And yet when it comes to churches partnering with other churches, many pastors neglect to foster and encourage partnership in their ministries.

On a recent episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, Jimbo talked with Mark Hallock, author and Lead Pastor of the Calvary Family of Churches in Colorado, and Brandon Moore, Replant Specialist at NAMB, about the benefits of radical collaboration. When we partner together, ministries flourish, churches come back from the dead, and pastors are strengthened. On His way to the cross, Jesus prayed that the church’s unity and partnership would display God’s plan and His love for the world to see (John 17:23).

God’s Command to Partner

Here is the truth of the matter. Pastors who neglect to partner with other churches are working against God’s plan for the Gospel. You might not realize it, but God desires us to be in close collaboration with other churches– not competition. Too often, we get wrapped up in the human desire to grow our personal kingdom and not God’s.

Of course, that’s not the language we use. Pastors would never say they desire their kingdom to grow over God’s. But when we hoard our resources for our gain, when we disparage the church across town (especially from the pulpit), and when we isolate ourselves from other pastors, we’ve created a “my church, my growth” mindset instead of a “God’s church, His kingdom” mindset.

God commands us to work in unity with other churches. Our passion must be for God’s Kingdom to grow, because His plan is to reach the lost world through people– not only your church but mine, too. His plan is for all of us to cooperate so that His name is magnified throughout the nations.

Where do I start?

At the AMS Lab, one of the phrases we heard from pastors and AMS Leaders was, “Partnership sounds great, but we don’t have that mindset in our association. No one seems to want to share or to cooperate.” What a missed opportunity!

When pastors alienate themselves and build walls around their ministry, it typically signifies an area of personal weakness. Maybe they’ve been hurt by other pastors in the past and they are hesitant to be vulnerable again. Perhaps they are afraid to be transparent or admit that something isn’t working. Or maybe it’s just good, old-fashioned pride that makes them feel like they don’t have anything to learn from someone else. Regardless of the root issue, a pastor who “Lone Rangers” his ministry may need to evaluate his behavior and repent.

Often, one of the first steps toward collaboration is one of embracing humility. It’s one thing to agree we need pastoral friendships for encouragement, but it’s quite another to be willing to share resources like money, time, and leadership with fellow pastors. It’s one thing to say, “I’m willing to help the church down the street,” but it’s different to say, “I don’t care who gets the credit, I just want to see God’s Kingdom grow.” Humility offers us a chance to let go of our ego and step out of the picture, and it allows God to step in and do radically transformative work in both our congregation and in the other church. Laying down our pride for the Gospel reaps fruit we can’t even begin to imagine.

Once we’ve embraced the command to partner with fellow pastors and churches, and we’ve repented of any pride or fear standing in our way, it’s time to lean in and pursue partnership. Now I wish this was as easy as simply passing a note to another pastor at the next Association meeting that says, “Do you want to partner with me in ministry? Check yes or no.” Unfortunately, radical collaboration takes a little more time and effort!

To start with, you need to actually attend association meetings. Those meetings aren’t merely to give you information and discuss everyone’s budget and church attendance numbers. Those meetings are opportunities for networking with other pastors and for encouraging each other! You have something to learn from them. The Holy Spirit indwells them just as He indwells you! God has given them unique perspectives, experiences, and giftings that can benefit you, even if they are different than yours.

Being a good partner in ministry means being a good friend. When you’re at the meetings, ask good questions of your fellow pastors. Pray over their churches. Have someone from your church send them a card to encourage them. Some of our best partnerships have come from having close friends in ministry. Last year when we were gone on a mission trip, we needed help with our worship service– we were short a pastor and a worship leader. We were able to call our best friends in ministry and ask for their help– and they sent a worship team over to lead our service, even though it meant their church struggled a little that morning. Why? Because we aren’t in competition, we’re in cooperation.

Maybe not everyone will understand your desire for partnership. That’s ok. Start with a few guys who do. Plan a night of worship and combine your campuses. Look for ways your church can help with their VBS (or vice versa). Do you have a couple of talented musicians while their church struggles to have live music? Ask one of your people to serve there a couple of weeks a month. Not because you don’t love your church and your people, but because you’ve taught your church to love other churches. And before you know it, a funny thing happens when other people see radical partnership thriving… they’ll want to join, too. That’s where you see the culture change. That’s where the goal of “church growth” becomes “Kingdom growth.”

The Superpower of Partnership

Hopefully, by now you’ve realized that we need to partner with fellow churches for one very good reason: God commands us to! But partnership isn’t merely a rule to follow. Radical collaboration is a superpower. Once we tap into it, the benefits to our ministry and our personal walk with Jesus are huge!

One of the main benefits of partnership? We are better together! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” There will always be times when ministry is a struggle. I have a friend who swears her husband quits ministry every Monday morning. Discouragement, disappointment, and feelings of frustration with church members or church politics can feel overwhelming. But partnerships with other churches mean your problems aren’t just your own to solve. You have helpers to pick you up and raise your arms, as Aaron and Hur did for Moses (Exodus 17).

Another benefit? Faithfulness in the ministry. A recent Barna study found that 65% of pastors reported feeling isolated or alone in 2022… that’s up from only 42% feeling that way in 2015. It seems many pastors are feeling like Johnny Cash when he sang, “I’ve got no one to tell my troubles to, no one to care to call my own. It seems that I must always be alone.” And when pastors feel isolated, they are more susceptible to temptation, hip-shot decisions, and leaving the ministry altogether. When you partner with other pastors, you have built-in encouragement, but you also have built-in accountability. Your partners are also pastors who can tell you, in humility and love, where you might be going off-track.

Lastly, there is the benefit of having a cohort to help you navigate the complexities in the culture and society we face today. We are dealing with aspects of culture that society has not wrestled with before and in our digital and technologically advanced society, these complex questions do not stop at the church’s front door. Increasingly, these cultural issues are encouraging pastors to take a new look at their by-laws, their polity, and even their own personal beliefs. Having other pastors beside you as you walk through these decisions gives you a plurality of educated leaders that you may not yet have access to within your own congregation.

The Superhero of Partnership

I hope that you now see the superpower of partnership and the ways collaboration benefits your ministry. Now, allow me to introduce a superhero who can help you in your quest for partnership– your local AMS.

Hopefully, the local AMS at your association has been there long enough to have the one gift you need– the power of connection. The AMS has an acute knowledge of not only the churches in his association, but of each pastor, and each congregation. When you need ministry partners, there is no better place to start than your AMS. Have a music/worship need? He knows of a local cohort of worship leaders you can join. He also knows which churches have large choirs and an abundance of musicians who may be able to join you for a while. Have a question about polity? He knows which church recently rewrote their bylaws, and what roadblocks they ran into, and he knows who you need to call at the state level for assistance. Need help with VBS? He knows the church doing theirs weeks before yours, and he’s happy to put you in touch with them so you can borrow their decorations when they’re done.

If you’re interested in hearing more ways your AMS and your local association can assist you in radical collaboration, the Replant Bootcamp has a podcast and blog on the partnership between pastors and Associations.

Opportunities to Partner with Us

When we talk about partnerships between pastors and associations, there is no better place to explore that than at the Replant Bootcamp events. We have several coming up, from two Am I a Replanter labs in April, the Revive Summit in May and September, and of course, through our website and archives.

Don’t forget to let us know how much your ministry partners have helped you by suggesting them as future guests using the “Suggest a Guest” button! We would love to hear your stories!

EP 211 – YEAR THREE-STAYING THE COURSE

Written on October 4, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 211 - YEAR THREE-STAYING THE COURSE

00:00 / 27:58

Greetings Bootcampers! Bob has settled the annual bet, donning the LSU pajama top once again as his Hogs lost to Jimbo’s Tigers. After the football banter the boys get down to discussing the reality that year three in a church renewal can be challenging and difficult making you want to leave. We break down some ways to look at the challenges and the years and we encourage you to preach, pray, love and stay.

Here are the highlights:

Yr 1 – Who are they, and who am I?

Pastoral visits
Self-Awareness and Growth

Yr 2 – I think this is going to be hard

Conflict-this isn’t what we want it to be
Stop changing everything

Yr 3 – I think I made a big mistake?

the dip and double dip (attendance and finances)
self doubt and spiritual warfare

Yr 4 – Okay let’s make this work……and get to work

Develop a plan and work the plan
Love and laugh
Cry and grieve
Execute plans not people

Yr 5 – 7 head down, celebrate victories, learn from mistakes, Pastor and love the church you have….

I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not a train or Jesus calling me home.
People choosing to be part of your church because they found it and like it
walking in the confidence of the Lord, he’s got you and this.

Here are some other podcasts which are worth a listen.

Drop us a line and let us know how your doing. And, connect with our sponsor at One Eighty Digital, they can get you through the clutter of cultural noise and connect you with your community in social media and web presence.

EP 201 -BRAIN FOG AND MINDFULLNESS

Written on July 26, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 201 -BRAIN FOG AND MINDFULLNESS

00:00 / 26:10

Welcome back Bootcampers! We hope you are doing well. Every single one of us has on occasion dealt with the challenge of “brain fog” and struggled to do even the most simple of tasks. Why? Pastoring is a 24/7 job and we never are fully disconnected from the weight of ministry. Brain drain and fatigue are real, you have to be proactive and get rest.

In a recent survey Pastor’s said:

A study conducted by Soul Shepherding, a Christian leadership training ministry, found the following:

75% of pastors report feeling extreme stress;
90% work an average of 55-75 hours per week.
90% feel fatigued each week
70% struggle with depression.
80% say their ministry has negatively impacted their marriage and family
85% have never had the opportunity to take extended time off.[1]

What can a pastor do when they are just totally exhausted? The guys break down some practical realities and then offer some solutions. If you’re tired, worn out and struggling to do the next thing, give this EP a listen.

Truths

We love to work-get stuff done and it feeds us (ego, drive, sense of accomplishment)
We love to feel needed.
Ministry is exhausting-it is never finished
We were not made to work and work and work (God mandated a day of rest, for reflection and renewal)

Application

Set a sane work schedule
Focus your work according to your wiring.
- Creative
- Admin
- People
- Meditation/Evaluation
Delegate and elevate – you cannot and are not supposed to do it all
Establish a daily quitting time (of course respond to emergencies)
Fellowship with Jesus (prayer, devotion, meditation)

[1] https://www.christianity.com/wiki/church/what-should-pastors-do-when-worn-out-and-weary.html

Don’t let your lack of inspiration or knowledge keep you from getting a handle on your church web presence. Get with our great sponsor, One Eighty Digital. They have the know how and expertise to get you up and running. Let them know you are a Bootcamp listener.

Street sign with discouragement and encourage at opposite posts

Lessons for Seasons of Discouragement

Written on May 5, 2023.

Have you ever had one of those days where it seemed like nothing you did worked out the way you thought it would? Last week, I woke up late because I fell back to sleep after my alarm went off. The set of scrubs I planned to wear had an unknown stain on them, so I had to grab another pair– which is when I realized I hadn’t taken them out of the washer the night before. I made coffee then realized we were out of coffee creamer. I resigned myself to a cup of bitter, black coffee, only to burn my mouth on it. On my way to work, my car reminded me that I had forgotten to get gas the day before and when I finally got to work, my first patient of the day was a “spicy” cat who scratched and bit me. Nothing I touched seemed to go according to plan.

By 9 am, I needed a do-over.

I think we’ve all had days like that. But what happens when those days seem to turn into weeks…or even months? When, like the Rembrandts sang, “it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year?”

In replant ministry there can be times where nothing seems to go right. What do we do when we’re in a season of discouragement?

On a recent episode of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob pointed us toward 2 Corinthians 1:10. Paul’s words to the Corinthian church give us a guide for our own seasons of frustration.

Paul’s Affliction in Asia

In Paul’s opening words to the Corinthian church, he tells them of all he has suffered since his last letter. In verse 8 he alludes to an affliction he suffered in Asia, which was so great that he “despaired of life itself.” Paul was to the point of thinking death might be the only outcome for his struggle– or at least preferable to it!

Paul could be referring to any number of trials. In Ephesus, Paul faced an angry mob, imprisonment, beatings, and general suffering. He could perhaps be referring to his “thorn in his flesh” that he discusses later in the same letter to the Corinthians (2 Cor. 12:7). We don’t know exactly which specific affliction Paul is referring to, but we know it was bad enough for him to think death was more appealing.

I would be lying if I said I hadn’t felt the same way at some points in our replant journey. I’m sure you have, too.

But Paul doesn’t give up. He tells the Corinthians that his suffering led him not to death, but instead to God, the giver of life. He was forced to rely on God and not his own power through those trials. Then Paul tells them that he was able to find peace in his suffering by looking to his past, present, and future in Christ. This instruction helps us, too.

Past Victories

Paul opens verse 10 with a look at his past. “He [has] delivered us from such a deadly peril.” Paul focused on the fact that God had delivered him before.

When we go through seasons of discouragement, one of the best reminders for us is to look back at our past victories in Christ. One of my favorite sayings is, “So far, you’ve survived 100% of your worst days.” It’s a good reminder that I’ve had other victories. There have been times where I didn’t think I could stand, but I did, and I’m still standing.

Bob used another phrase from a pastor he once knew: “If Jesus can take care of your salvation, there ain’t nothing he can’t take care of.” Christ forgave your sins. All of the trials of this world are nothing compared to Christ removing the debt of sin in our lives. But not only has He forgiven us of our sins– His death also satisfied the wrath of God so that we now have peace with God.

God has delivered you from sin. And because of this truth, we can trust in God. This moment in your ministry is not something that will stop God from moving on your behalf. After all you’ve seen God do in your life, don’t you think He’s big enough to handle your current crisis?

Present Assurance

Paul next says, “and He will deliver us.” (emphasis mine) Paul was assured that his affliction was not the end of God’s work in his life. He was able to look at his present circumstances and know that God was still working within them. He was still experiencing struggles and trials, but he saw God’s hand in them.

One of the things we forget as we struggle is that whatever we are going through is not a surprise to Jesus. There wasn’t an emergency session in the Trinity with hand-wringing and frantic scrambling to find a crisis-management plan. Your circumstances were not unforeseen by God. And since He knew what was going to happen, you can be assured that in this present moment, God has given you all that you need to get through it.

God’s deliverance doesn’t always look like we think it will. As Bob pointed out, “If God operated how we wanted him to operate, he wouldn’t be God… And we would be.” Sometimes, God’s deliverance is painful. Sometimes, it’s frightening. Sometimes, it doesn’t come as quickly as we wish. But rest assured, God will deliver.

Future Hope

In the next line of his letter to the Corinthians, Paul writes, “On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.” Paul is now looking toward the future, knowing God will deliver him again. Paul knows that struggles are not a one-time event. We are not free from struggles just because we’ve gone through one. But Paul specifically says that his hope is not in himself. His hope is in Jesus.

When we hope in our circumstances, we are engaging in a futile exercise. Our circumstances are always changing– just because today was great doesn’t mean tomorrow will be. In a world of unknown elements, Christ is our only firm foundation, the only hope we have for deliverance.

Romans 8:28 promises us that God is working all things toward good. Our suffering is not worthless. It is leading toward God’s good and sovereign plan. This is for God’s good, and for His glory. Our future seasons of discouragement are not without benefit. He will use it to sanctify and purify us. He will burn off the idolatry of self-reliance and self-centeredness. Depending on Him allows us to see His glory in our trials.

One Last Thing

In those moments where everything is going wrong, it’s easy to feel like we will never see victory again. I am sure that Paul wondered in Ephesus if he would ever be able to see the believers in Corinth or go to Rome as he had planned. But one of the things we must remember about seasons of discouragement and frustration is that they are seasons, not a lifetime.

When we are in the middle of struggles and trials, we have to think of it like Winter. Is it cold and dark and even sometimes bitter? Yes. But in that season, deep in our souls, God is planting seeds of victory. Soon, it will be Spring and we will experience new growth. Some day, we will be in Summer and we will feel the joy and warmth of God’s presence as our ministry grows and flourishes. And one day we will see a Harvest.

Inevitably, we will experience Winter again. And that is when the season we are going through now will be a past victory that brings us hope.

He has delivered. He will deliver. He will deliver us again.

EP 189 – TRAVAILS AND TROUBLES IN REPLANTING

Written on May 3, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 189 - TRAVAILS AND TROUBLES IN REPLANTING

00:00 / 22:56

In this EP the guys talk about their travels and a bit of their troubles on the road and then pivot to discuss an important principle related to the work of Replanting-Jesus is always with you and he will deliver you from every trial and trouble.

Here are a few highlights:

Troubles and challenges come in surprising ways-you want to change the bulletin and almost get fired.
Every ministry setting has its own set of challenges
Struggle and and trial are part of ministry – don’t be surprised
If God can save you from your sins (and he can and does) he will deliver you from everything else

We find encouragement and hope in Paul’s words:

He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 2 Corinthians 1:10

Get some help and hope for your web presence by contacting our good friends at One Eighty Digital. They are the exclusive sponsor of the Bootcamp and can get your church up and running with a website that will communicate clearly with your community.

Thank you, God, for the Fleas

Written on November 28, 2022.

‘Tis the season for Thankfulness.

As I write this blog post, we have just finished the biggest meal of the year. There are only six of us gathered around our table, but I cook like there will be 20. This year we had four appetizers, three meats, seven sides, and five desserts. It will take several days to finish leftovers, and we will all gain several pounds trying to do so, and we will vow that we hate all of these foods and can’t stand to eat any more of them… until Christmas Day, when we do it all again.

Before anyone is too impressed with me, I will come clean and tell you that I will save up all of my cooking skills for this one day and then turn them off again. For the record, I hate cooking. It stresses me out– the timing of everything, things getting cold while heating up others. Every year I forget the bread until everything else is ready and then have to hold the meal until it’s finished. I worry about having enough dishes and serving spoons, and the thought of DOING those dishes… Yuck. The anxiety is enough to make me go to Cracker Barrel and call it a day. It’s only the lack of leftovers and my family’s protests of that plan that makes me get up at the crack of dawn and start cooking the massive meal. And don’t even get me started on going to someone else’s house– the one (and ONLY) time we did that, my son threw a football in their house and broke the hand painted family portrait hanging above their fireplace. We were ushered out rather quickly after that.

But I digress.

Several years ago, I tried to start a tradition of going around the table and having each person say what they were thankful for. I think I saw a good, Christian family post about it on Facebook and I figured we were a good, Christian family so we should do that, too. Unfortunately, my teenage children were in their peak-sarcasm years and it turned into a game of “See how quickly you can get mom to stop this.” Let me put it this way– I didn’t post their responses on Facebook.

The truth is, sometimes when people start talking about thankfulness and gratitude, I find myself very much like my teenagers were that holiday– surly and sullen, filled with frustration at the things I don’t have and discontent with what I do have. I find it difficult to say what I’m grateful for when I am filled with discouragement.

In last year’s Thanksgiving podcast, Jimbo discussed how a story from Corrie ten Boom’s time in a concentration camp helped to remind him why it’s important to be thankful in all circumstances. You can read the complete story here, but the summary is basically this: Corrie and her sister Betsy discuss how on earth they could possibly live through their time in the concentration camp, a place filled with discouragement and hopelessness. Betsy reminds Corrie that 1 Thessalonians 5:14-21 tells them how to live, especially verse 18: “Give thanks in all circumstances.” So they begin to list the things they are thankful for, including their togetherness, their ability to have their Bible, their close proximity to the other prisoners who were also hearing the Gospel. But then Betsy goes so far as to be thankful for the fleas that are tormenting them day and night. Corrie protests, but Betsy reminds her that it is the fleas which keep the guards away and allow them to read and proclaim the Word of God. Without them, the girls might be punished and separated.

Sometimes I feel like Corrie. Surely God doesn’t expect me to be thankful for the fleas in my life– those tormenting people who seem to have nothing positive to say, that bill that came when the money didn’t, the lack of spiritual (or numerical) growth in our church, the leak in the baptistry that comes on the heels of the leak in the children’s area. Surely when God says, “be thankful in all circumstances,” He doesn’t mean these circumstances. I see people post about being “#blessed” but I find myself wondering why we’re only “blessed” when things are going right– what about those I see who are desperate and hurting– are they blessed? How can we be blessed when everything around us seems to be going wrong? How can I be grateful for the problems I face and the mounting discouragement?

Then the Holy Spirit prods me toward another Scripture: Philippians 4:11. Sure, Philippians 4:13 gets all the glory, but why was Paul able to say that he could do all things through Christ who strengthened him? Because of verse 11. He had learned to be content in all things, in whatever situation he faced. His ability to be content in all things fostered his ability to do his ministry without the confines of frustration and discouragement.

Perhaps you have struggled this year with finding joy this season and feeling grateful for where God has placed you. Pastor, can I encourage you? Think of the “fleas” in your own life– the situations, people, or nagging problems that discourage you. Instead of asking God to deliver you from them, ask God what He is trying to teach you through it. Instead of desiring to push “fast forward” through this time in your ministry, push “pause.” Sit with it for a moment and see where God is leading you to be content in the circumstance and then ask Him to show you how to be thankful for it.

And then, when you go around the table and say what you’re thankful for, maybe your responses will be worthy of a social media post. At the very least, maybe your mom won’t write about it in a blog post several years later.

*On a personal note, I would just like to say that I am grateful to each of you for reading these blog posts. I pray that they encourage and exhort you for your ministry. I am also grateful to Bob, Jimbo, and everyone at NAMB for the opportunity to write and share my heart with each of you. Thankful for the past and looking forward to the future!- Erin*

Plagued by Discouragement? I Know the Cure.

Written on November 21, 2022.

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine about all of the struggles and concerns she was facing. Her job was going through a stressful transition, her parent’s health was declining, she had financial issues that resulted in much anxiety for her future, and her children were experiencing separate crises of their own. At one point in her conversation she sighed and buried her head in her hands and said, “I’m just so tired.”

But here’s the thing– despite all of her anxieties, she was getting plenty of sleep. She wasn’t physically tired. She was disheartened and dispirited. She was discouraged. She was working hard and she was taking care of so many people, and she was feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances that she felt exhausted in her soul.

I am sure that many readers can see themselves in this person. Pastors in general can feel discouragement from a variety of sources– the Monday morning inbox with a complaint about the sermon, the member who decides to go elsewhere with seemingly no real reason, the stress of his family living in a “fishbowl,” the burden of caring for everyone else. But replant pastors are susceptible to an even greater level of discouragement. For a replant pastor, the lack of resources can be a huge discouragement. A lack of funds, people, time, and materials can make changes go slow but frustrations run high. Many pastors are plagued by discouragement.

It’s an Epidemic

This plague of discouragement is not new. In the first century, Augustine of Hippo wrote a passage on how to overcome discouragement to his fellow colleagues in the faith. And yet, here we are, 2000 years later, and a Barna study recently revealed that the number of pastors who have seriously considered giving up their ministry sits at 42%, an increase of almost 15% in just the last year. Even among the pastors who haven’t considered quitting, a large percentage are facing burnout, stress, and isolation (see a separate post on pastoral friendships on why isolation is dangerous to your ministry). If almost 50% of pastors are so discouraged they are thinking of leaving the ministry, it’s not a small issue. It’s an epidemic.

In my own life, I have seen countless pastors, specifically replant pastors, face battles with depression and discouragement. Pastors who entered their replant bursting with ideas and excitement, ready to breathe life into their congregation and into their church. Within a couple of years, many of these same men (and their families) are feeling beat down and beat up. They don’t feel effective in their ministry, they are exhausted, and they are working as hard as possible not to drown under the weight of expectations.

What is the cure?

I have good news.

There is a cure for discouragement. It’s actually almost in the very word discouragement. Can you guess? The cure for discouragement is… encouragement. That’s right, the cure for the feelings of despair, frustration, and exhaustion, is to feel hope, to have support, and to inspire confidence.

But how? How can we get from one to the other?

Way back in episode 11, Jimbo and Bob (JIMBOB) helped us to answer that question with their most encouraging friend, Mark Hallock. Mark is one of the most encouraging people on the planet. If you’ve met him in person, you already know this, because you’ve probably experienced the “Hallock Hug.” There is a reason he’s referred to as “Happy Huggy Hallock.”

In the episode, the fellas discuss encouragement as it relates to Mark’s book, The Relentless Encourager. Mark points out that many of us have encouraging thoughts, but we don’t allow them to become words. So instead of our encouragement blessing another person, it’s just another thought, no more or less than what to buy at the grocery store later. We are often guilty of forgetting to encourage others, especially as we are feeling discouraged and frustrated. We are not intentional about making sure our encouraging thoughts become words and actions. We may even feel some insecurity or pride that won’t allow us to admit when someone else is doing a job well. But that attitude costs us.

The added supplement

Encouragement for others is like a glass of cold water to a parched soul– and not only to theirs, but to ours, as well. Telling someone about the difference they make in your life and lifting them up creates in us another powerful combatant to discouragement: Gratitude.

Have you ever seen a photo negative? It is the same picture, but it is distorted because the focus is on the wrong thing. We experience this when we are so discouraged we only see the negative. When there is a lack of resources, the discouraged heart sees only what it lacks. But the encouraging heart looks for those doing much with little, and in encouraging them, the encouraging heart becomes the grateful heart.

Perhaps you are wondering how you can possibly encourage someone else when you are feeling discouraged yourself. Maybe you’re even wondering why you should, since no one seems to be intent on encouraging you. (I won’t judge you for that! I’ve had that same feeling!) But the truth is, we are never more like Christ than when we see people as God sees them and we encourage them in their walk. Even as Jesus was discouraged to the point of sweating drops of blood in the garden, He prayed for his disciples’ encouragement (John 17). When we look for the ways we can express encouragement to others, we are looking for the positive in them. We are loving our neighbor and our enemy better when we seek to encourage them, and this, in turn, makes us thankful for them.

This thankfulness and gratitude cultivates an environment of encouragement to the church. Can you imagine the difference your church could make in the community if you became known as the church where people are encouraging and thankful? If you were known as a place people could come out of the darkness and experience light and hope? How can we facilitate that attitude in our churches if we don’t have it ourselves?

A replant pastor needs to breed thankfulness in his congregation. To do that, he must first be grateful. Instead of focusing on the frustrations and the negatives, he must look at what God is doing in the church. God is not done with your church, nor with you! Look at all you can be thankful for:

God has called you to raise dying churches and to reach the faithful– what an incredible calling! What an incredible opportunity to see growth and change!
You can be thankful you are preaching faithfully– you are doing your part, and you know you serve a faithful God who will do His!
You get to reach people with the Gospel– I am always in awe that God uses such a flawed vessel for His Kingdom purposes! So blessed to have been even a small part in someone’s journey toward redemption and grace!

Think about your church. The struggles, yes, but I bet there have been successes, too! I am sure that while there may be some “grumpies,” there are probably more faith-filled believers who stand excited and ready to see their church thrive again. Yes, there is probably a lack of money– but God can do much with little and you are learning to trust Him in that process!

Now, think of the people who are standing with you. The friends, family members, church members, fellow pastors– have you thanked them? Have you encouraged them? Have you sought to tell them the difference it makes in your life to have them stand with you in your struggles?

This is how we defeat discouragement.

We look for the positive in others and encourage them, and then we cultivate a heart of thankfulness and gratitude for them.

Go seek someone to encourage today.

Episode #15 – Dealing with Depression and Discouragement with Special Guest Mark Clifton

Written on January 1, 2020.

Replant Bootcamp

Episode #15 - Dealing with Depression and Discouragement with Special Guest Mark Clifton

00:00 / 30:00

Mark Clifton, Sr. Director of Replant of the North American Mission Board, stopped by the bootcamp and dropped some great knowledge and advice about how to deal with discouragement and depression as a Replanter.

How can a Replanter stay encouraged and healthy?

Unfortunately many don’t.
Pastors operate wounded and then wound others-spending $20 on a 10 cent problem.
Satan’s number 1 tool against a Pastor is depression/discouragement.
The weight of ministry creates a cycle of discouragement and depression that often creates a victim mentality and a context in which operating with emotional intelligence is difficult.

If you find your purpose, joy and meaning in how well your church is doing–you’ll be feeding off the congregation and not feeding them. And you’ll always be searching for Joy.

Find your joy in Jesus alone.

Talk to yourself, instead of listening to yourself.

Should a Pastor admit struggles and weaknesses?

You need to be vulnerable as a Pastor, but you also need to be cautious about how and with whom you are vulnerable.
Find a group of Leaders (Other Pastors, Director of Missions, Associational Missional Strategist, Elders) who you are living in community with and be vulnerable with them.
Be wise about your struggles with the congregation during your preaching.
We must remember that we have the Gospel-our trust is not in ourselves but in Jesus.
Use your weaknesses and inadequacies to point to the cross instead of using them to garner sympathy.

What are some other sources of encouragement for a discouraged Pastor/Replanter?

Read the Scriptures
Read the Puritans
Listen to good sermons (Spurgeon, Martin Lloyd Jones)
The Valley of Vision
Read good biographies
Watch historical documentaries
Find a Hobby
Enjoy your family
- Two rules for parenting: love Jesus and have fun
- Don’t unload your church frustrations on your spouse/family.

Relax and remember that the church is the Lord’s, he is the one who will grow it and care for it.

Fight for your joy, the gospel and your church.

Are there some signs that it’s time to consider transitioning away from your church?

If the work is destroying your family, faith and your Christian walk-you may need to consider stepping down.

To be honest, some men should not be Pastors, and they need to come to terms with that. They could be called to be a good church leader, a great church member.

Every Pastor must have a clear call from God-or he shouldn’t be pastoring.

Often, in the midst of discouragement a Pastor is prone to choose isolation over community.

Find a good Christian counselor-for yourself and for your congregation.

If you are a Pastor experiencing serious discouragement please reach out to someone for help today.

Helpful Resources

Revitalize by Andy Davis

Sermons by Martin Lloyd Jones

Medication and Depression by Bob Bickford

Pastor Hotline: 1-844-PASTOR1 (1-844-727-8671)