Tag: Bob Bickford

Empathy in Leadership- Part Three of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on February 6, 2023.

Empathy

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, and Part two, Goodwill, can be found here.

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test? I took one early in my spiritual journey. While I was excited that I scored well for the gifts of exhortation and teaching, I was shocked to realize I scored very low in mercy and empathy. Out of a possible 100 points, I scored a FOUR in the gift of mercy. A FOUR. It doesn’t take a math wiz to realize that a 4 out of 100 would be a failing score on any test.

I asked a mentor if she could help me understand how I could be gifted at exhortation (insinuating that I am an encourager by nature) but score so low in mercy and empathy and she put it this way:

Two people are walking one day and see a third person stuck in a deep pit. The person gifted in exhortation calls down and says, “Hey! How’d you get stuck in this pit?” The person answers, “I’m not sure. I’m just here and can’t get out!” The Encourager says, “Hang on! I can help! I’m going to go get a ladder so we can get you out!” When she comes back with the ladder, two people are in the pit. She calls down, “Hey! Why did you get in the pit with them?” And the other person says, “Well, I saw they were alone and I knew I could help by sitting with them in the dark.”

My mentor said, “You are the person getting the ladder. You have sympathy and want to fix the problem. But the person who crawls into the pit with them? That person has empathy.”

I knew I needed to develop better empathy skills if I wanted to lead like Jesus. In a recent Replant Bootcamp podcast episode, JimBob discussed this invaluable characteristic of a Godly leader and the difference it can make in the life of a replant pastor.

The Definition of Empathy

There is pushback in some circles toward the idea of “empathy” toward others in a pastoral context. We seem to sometimes equate it with “acceptance” of a person’s actions. Unfortunately, this not only mis-defines empathy, it misses an important aspect of mercy in our ministry to others. Empathy, by definition, is not ignoring the actions that brought someone to where they are– it is putting yourself in their shoes and feeling their pain as though it were your own.

Some of us have also equated empathy with sympathy. But, again, we miss the definition of both when we conflate the two. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Empathy says, “I am with you in this pain and this is happening to us.” Sympathy allows you a lesser sense of involvement because it allows you to stay removed from the pain of another person.

A third definition is helpful here, too, when we look at empathy. Compassion is empathy in action. You are so motivated by the pain of someone else that it moves you toward action. This response can be difficult for those of us who were never shown compassion from our parents. If the reply to your pain was an exasperated parent saying, “Well if you hadn’t done XYZ, then this wouldn’t have happened.“ Or “get over it. You’re fine,” you are going to find it very difficult to come to a place of empathy with others. Likewise, if you had a very emotional parent who made your pain more about them than about you, you will likely have a hard time dealing with being empathetic toward someone else’s emotional pain. You have not had empathy modeled for you, so it will be hard to understand why you need to give it to others.

The Demand for Empathy

While all pastors should practice empathy as they counsel and work with the people their team, replant pastors have a unique role to play as they serve. In a replant, there are likely to be two issues that demand we respond with empathy. The first is the propensity toward change in a replant. In a separate blog and podcast, the Replant Bootcamp team discussed the emotional cycle of change. As you guide your church through transformation, empathy helps you seek to not only understand negative pushback toward change, but also to navigate through someone’s emotional response to it. The second issue a replant pastor faces is the need to reach the community around them. The experiences in the surrounding community may be very different from your own. Your response to their pain must be from a place of understanding and empathy. People who are hurting need to hear and know that you care and have compassion for them so that they can hear the hope of the Gospel.

This isn’t a new idea. This characteristic of compassion and empathy is modeled in the way Jesus saw and ministered to people. Jesus repeatedly felt compassion toward people and moved to action by his care for them.

In Mark 1:41, the Bible tells us Jesus was “moved with pity” as he healed a leper. In Mark 6:34, he “had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd and he began to teach them many things.” In Mark 8:2, Jesus states that he “had compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.” He then directs his disciples to feed the crowd. In Luke 7:13, Jesus heals the widow’s son after having compassion on her and saying, “do not weep.” And in both the parable of the good Samaritan and the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus states that the character’s actions came from a place of compassion and empathy for the person in need.

Jesus consistently treated people with empathy, and his compassion moved him toward action. He didn’t condone their sin or become frustrated with it. He simply cared about them enough to show them grace and mercy so that they could hear and receive the ultimate answer to their needs– the Gospel.

The Development of Empathy

Fortunately for me, failing in the area of mercy and empathy doesn’t have to be a permanent position. Empathy is a skill any leader can develop with time. There are 5 ways that you can become more empathetic toward the people you serve:

1. Be fully present. The people you serve need to know that they are important to you. Give them your full attention.
2. Be an active listener. Engage people and actively listen to their stories. You may want to put your phone down and exercise curiosity. Ask about their perspective and their background. What led them to this moment? What experiences have they had?
3. Suspend judgment. Seek to understand where someone is coming from before you make judgments about them. Remember their experiences have informed their emotions and actions, and their experience may be different than yours.
4. Create compassionate understanding. Before you attempt to “solve” an issue, try to understand the other person’s perspective on it. Be compassionate as you try to help them move toward resolution.
5. Practice proactive caring. Meet the person’s needs as you’re able to, whether that’s being actively involved in meeting physical needs, or simply sitting with them as they need you.

When we practice Godly empathy, we are modeling Christ’s compassion for others. To truly be a godly leader, one must be willing to sit with someone else’s pain the way He did. Jesus allowed himself to be moved into someone else’s pain, even to the point of weeping with them or over them.

Sit in the pit with the person, and then crawl out together. You’ll both be grateful you did.

Some resources on Empathy are this article by Daniel Harrison and this blog post by Scot McKnight.

EP 176 – RECAPTURING EVANGELISM W/ DR. MATT QUEEN

Written on February 1, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 176 - RECAPTURING EVANGELISM W/ DR. MATT QUEEN

00:00 / 27:29

The boys are back with another EP from their time at Southwestern Baptist Seminary. This time with special guest, Dr. Matt Queen who recently released a new book, Recapturing Evangelism. We celebrated Bob’s honorary Doctorate, and then got down to the serious business of discussing evangelism with one of our favorite all time Evangelists, Dr. Queen, here are some of the highlights.

Why is evangelism difficult?

There are some who are for evangelism-as long as someone else does it
We often confuse things that are not evangelism, with evangelism: like inviting people to church (which is good) but the gospel has not been shared.
We don’t plan or make time to evangelize
We celebrate baptisms (which is great) and define it as success and then win. However, success is sharing the gospel (evangelizing) it is important to celebrate that.

It is important to establish evangelistic patterns or rhythms: “Those who fail to plan time to evangelize will fail to find time to evangelize.” — Dr. Matt Queen

How can I take steps to become intentional in evangelism?

One, take a quantitative approach-define a goal of how many times you want to share the gospel.
Identify what is an opportunity to share the gospel. It can be as simple as identifying taking the opportunity to speak about the gospel when you: see a person wearing a cross, taking public transportation, or to use a catch phrase: “Have you heard any good news today?”

How do we cultivate a culture of evangelism in a dying or declining church?

Understand-not everyone in your church will “buy in” and start evangelizing, but some will support you.
Visit and take others with you, teaching them how to share the gospel. “If your people don’t see or hear of you evangelizing-they will not likely do evangelism.”

How do I share the gospel with those whom I am concerned about losing the relationship?

Repent-confess that you’re sorry for not sharing the gospel with them and ask their forgiveness.
Reconnect with those in your relationship circles who you have shared the gospel before-and just check in and see if they have changed their thinking and ask; “Would it be okay if we had another conversation?”

Some the best quotes of the episode:

“People are more ready to hear the gospel than we are ready to share it.”

“If you know enough of the gospel to be saved by it, you know enough of the gospel to share it.”

Check out the rest of this EP with Dr. Queen for more great insights about evangelism in the local church.

Get the word out on the interwebs about your church! Need help? Contact our sponsor, One Eighty Digital. They have the know how and experience to help you connect with your community.

Goodwill in Leadership– Part Two of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on January 30, 2023.

Goodwill

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here.

A Tale of Two Bosses

Today, I am a veterinary technician (aka an animal nurse). But my first career was in finance. Over the course of fifteen years, I was a teller, Customer Service Representative, Loan Officer, and at my last position, a Branch Manager. I had many bosses in that time, but my favorite was Susan, the Lead Teller at my first job. Susan was incredible. She was the type of person that made you feel like you were capable of anything. She listened if we voiced concerns over a new policy or if we were confused about a new product. She knew all the answers, but never made us feel ignorant for asking questions. Susan was genuinely interested in our lives outside of work, and always made it a point to remember our family events like birthdays and anniversaries. She celebrated us as a team and never took credit for our achievements, even though many times it was her sales that made the difference in us winning or losing. In my head, every leader I meet gets compared to Susan.

Meanwhile, my husband, who is a senior pastor now, worked in logistics at two national warehouses during his first career. He, too, had several bosses during that time, but their leadership style couldn’t have been more different than Susan’s. One in particular was an emotionally volatile man who would rage and scream at the employees, even going so far as to punch the wall beside your head if you were lucky enough to be standing near one. His name was Don. He was demeaning, often referring to his employees as “stupid…” or worse. He worked everyone so hard they didn’t have time to have a life outside of the warehouse, and Don wasn’t interested in it if they did. When they won an award for bringing their department up from last place in the nationwide company to third in the company, Don screamed at them for being the “least best in the top three.” In my husband’s head, every leader he meets gets compared to Don.

The difference between the two leaders? Goodwill.

Goodwill- The Intangible Asset

When we think of “goodwill,” we probably think of the discount thrift store that bears the name, and we wouldn’t necessarily be too far off in that thinking. Goodwill stores were built on the idea that people need a hand up, not a hand-out, and on providing training for those who need tangible workplace skills. When we think of a leader who has goodwill, we are looking at someone who encourages and equips others for the task at hand. The ideas are not dissimilar.

The Replant Bootcamp fellas discussed this idea of “goodwill” in a recent podcast. Jimbo defined goodwill in business as “an intangible, salable asset arising from the reputation of a business and its relations with its customers, distinct from the value of its stock and other tangible assets.” When we bring this definition into our role as Replant pastors and leaders, we have to look at our own measurement of “goodwill.” Simply put, it’s an intangible asset based on our reputation among our people and our relationships with others.

Goodwill and Godly Leadership

The Bible is clear on the qualifications of a pastor (Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3). While the word “goodwill” isn’t mentioned specifically, the idea is there. When we look at what it means to be a Godly leader, we have to look at our level of goodwill among our congregations and our community.

Every pastor is tasked with preaching the Word of God and with shepherding His people. They are all called to exegete scripture and to instruct and guide their people toward a growing relationship with Christ. But while some are gifted in that area, they lack the intangible asset of not being a genuinely nice person. In fact, some of them even come across as jerks.

I’m sure you’ve been around someone like that. He is a gifted and talented communicator, but man… He’s hard to be around. He pokes fun at others. He is rude to the waitstaff when you go to lunch with him. He’s emotionally unstable, and you’re never sure if he’s going to blow up over something. He’s arrogant about success and takes no accountability for failures.

Maybe you have a guy in mind right now.

Maybe someone has you in mind right now.

So how do we evaluate this “intangible” asset in ourselves and find out if we might be lacking in this characteristic of a Godly leader?

What’s Your Score?

There are five basic characteristics we can use to measure goodwill. Let’s break down each of them and see where we stand.

1. A generous spirit. Like Susan in the example above, leaders who have high levels of goodwill will be generous with praise and encouragement. They aren’t hoarding their knowledge to make others feel ignorant, they share it freely. They are always looking for ways to help other people experience “wins,” instead of wishing it was them. The people who serve with them genuinely enjoy their presence. If the audience loves you but the people who serve with you day to day are miserable around you, your lack of goodwill is showing.
2. A high level of Emotional Quotient (EQ). Unlike IQ, which measures your logic and skills, EQ measures your ability to “read the room.” Do you dominate conversations? Are you quick to speak and slow to hear? Are you constantly sharing your own stories instead of hearing someone else’s? Do you give advice before someone asks for it? Are you the first person to speak in meetings or the last? When the people around you are exhausted by being around you, you’ve misread the room.
3. Self-Regulation of your Emotions. I will put this as simply as I can. A pastor cannot be the guy who “blows up” all the time. Are there times you will be angry? Of course. But you can’t be so emotionally volatile that you ruin your goodwill among your congregation. Your family also suffers when you can’t regulate your emotions. If your spouse is scared to talk to you about difficult subjects, or your kids don’t trust you, you’ve lost your goodwill among them. I will also caution that this one, specifically, can ruin your goodwill in the community. I once had a pastor come into my job and yell at me, cursing and berating me the whole time. I will never forget that pastor. Every person in that office won’t, either. And none of my fellow employees will ever attend his church. His measure of “goodwill” in the community is ruined. Don’t be that guy.
4. Providing specific encouragement to others. This is not simply walking around and saying, “Great job, guys!” to everyone who serves with you. Be specific in your praise. A leader with high levels of goodwill won’t give general praise– they actively look for specific reasons to praise the work of God in other people. General praise tends to feel inauthentic after a while. Specific, targeted praise makes other people feel “seen,” and that’s a quality of a Godly leader.
5. Being quick to forgive. Ever known someone who blacklisted others after they hurt him? That guy is awful to be around. He’s held a grudge for so long, everyone else has forgotten what even happened. But a Godly leader knows how much he’s been forgiven by God, so he doesn’t withhold forgiveness from others. Will people let you down and hurt your feelings? Absolutely. But forgiving others depends more on you than on them.

If you’ve read over the last five characteristics of someone with high levels of goodwill and you’ve recognized some areas where you need improvement, take time today to ask God to guide you. If you read over this list and feel confident that you have all of those qualities, ask someone close to you, your spouse or a close friend, to read over it and to honestly let you know where you can improve– after all, that’s what a Godly leader with high goodwill would do.

EP 175 – 10 QUESTIONS TO ASK AS YOU INTERVIEW WITH A CHURCH

Written on January 25, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 175 - 10 QUESTIONS TO ASK AS YOU INTERVIEW WITH A CHURCH

00:00 / 25:16

The guys are back with another “Dome” edition of the Bootcamp from their time teaching the Dmin seminar at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, SWBTS. Last EP they spoke about the impact of forced terminations on the church and pastor and this week they pivot by suggesting a list of questions for a potential Pastor to ask of a search committee who is inviting you to candidate with their congregation.

What are your expectations for me (as your pastor) and my family?
What do you believe are the marks of a healthy church? And this follow up: how healthy is this church?
Why did the previous pastor (or pastors) leave? Consider contacting the previous pastors.
What is the community like around the church? How many members of this church live in this community?
What are the greatest joys and frustrations here at the church?
How is the Pastor’s wife viewed?
If I am being successful as your Pastor what am I doing?
How much will I be paid? How will increases be handled?
If you have concerns with me, my leadership, preaching etc. how will you let me know?
What do you expect your former pastors will tell me when I contact them about their time with you here?

Resource: the Fourfold Panorama EP with Keelan Cook and Resource Document

Do you have a funny interview story? Did you get asked a strange question? We’d love to hear from you-drop us a line, leave a comment or voicemail on the Bootcamp hotline. And remember, leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Have questions about your church website? Our awesome sponsor One Eighty Digital can answer every web question you ask, hit them up and let them know that you indeed are a Bootcamp listener!

EP 174 – THE IMPACT OF FORCED TERMINATION

Written on January 18, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 174 - THE IMPACT OF FORCED TERMINATION

00:00 / 25:32

Greetings Bootcampers! The boys were living large in Texas while teaching a DMin Cohort at Southwestern Seminary. Today’s topic is an important one; The Impact of Forced Terminations on a Church. Check out the references in the show notes to learn more. And leave your comments on the blog, email or the Bootcamp hotline.

Forced termination of a Pastor is defined as an involuntary dismissal from service, due to no fault or moral failure, or dereliction of duties on the part of a Pastor, brought about by a few within the local church.

Of all pastors, 23-41% will experience a forced termination at least once in their career
In 2012, a Lifeway survey, in partnership with Baptist State Convention leaders, a panel identified 452 pastors and staff members who succumbed to a non-voluntary or non-self-initiated separation from the church they served.
It is estimated that over the years of their vocational service, four out of ten pastors will be forced out of their church by firing or some sort of pressure that leads to their eventual resignation.

When a Pastor is terminated without cause, it is often a prediction point in the history of a church, it is the place where steep, prolonged, and sustained decline begins. It is the marker under which many dysfunctions are buried.

Where Pastors were forced out, 34-45% of those congregations had simmering divisions and internal conflict that predated the Pastor’s arrival.
23% of the congregations who forced terminated a pastor had done the same with previous pastors.
2/3 of the congregations who forced termed a Pastor did so within the first five years of his tenure.
The top reasons cited for conflict leading to a forced separation: Conflict for control among groups in the church 68%, congregational stress 43%, values/directional conflict between Pastor and some people in the church 27%

We often think of how a forced termination impacts the Pastor and his family. We may not think deeply enough about the impact of these actions on the local church.

David Meyers, a retired Director of Missions from Chattanooga TN states: What forced termination does to the soul of the congregation is significant in and of itself, but the practical, logistical impact is also significant. The church may lose members who are unhappy with what has occurred or how it was done. The loss of financial support may result from membership decline or withholding money. The name and reputation of the church is marred in the community and beyond. Hesitant, reserved, or negative recommendations of the church are given to prospective new ministers for that church. Many ministers are reluctant to consider relocation to a church that terminated its previous minister(s).

What can be done for the church caught in this act or pattern?

Address the wrongs committed to Pastors and their families who were undeserving of a forced termination. Repent and publicly apologize and make restitution where appropriate.
Remove those who were involved in or instigated unfounded and unreasonable forced terminations from leadership positions within the church.
Address informal campaigns to force a pastor out through biblically based and bylaw-supported church discipline.
Make careful note of the actions taken above in the minutes of a Church business meeting so that the record may show these actions will not meet with approval.

Check out these resources on forced termination:

[1] https://www.baptistpress.com/resource-library/news/pastoral-termination-common-but-oftern-avoidable-experts-say/

[2] Musical Pulpits, Baker Publishing Group, 1992. Rodney J. Crowell pg.25, 66

[3] https://ministeringtoministers.org/2017/12/forced-termination-affects-churches-too/

[4] https://www.sbc.net/resource-library/resolutions/resolution-on-the-forced-termination-of-ministers/

Don’t get fired over your website-get with our great sponsor, One Eighty Digital to get your online presence up and running in the right way.

The Emotional Cycle of Change

Written on January 16, 2023.

“A pastor goes into it thinking he’s going to change the world… He gets fired for changing the bulletin.” Yikes… That is one of those tough sayings that rings true for far too many pastors that I know. They had high hopes of replanting a struggling church but realized quickly that change is hard.

But here’s some good news: change follows a fairly predictable pattern. And if you can exercise tactical patience, you really CAN change the world– or, at least, your church.

Stage One: Uninformed Optimism

Oh man. This stage is absolutely great… while it lasts. Unfortunately, that’s not very long. At this stage, everyone is excited about the change. They’re “ready for change,” they’re “eager for a new direction” and “looking forward to some new ideas.” The optimism is contagious, and there’s a good wave of momentum. This is the stage when a pastor starts planning out some necessary changes and begins talking about them with key people who are mostly supportive.

On the Replant Bootcamp podcast, the guys compared this stage to the Israelites coming out of Egypt. There was joy as they celebrated the First Passover and began to follow God’s direction. They were led by God in the form of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, and they were ready to take hold of the Promised Land God had pledged to them (Exodus 13).

But just like Moses, pastors will discover that after the initial excitement wears off, the congregation will start into the negative Stage Two.

Stage Two: Informed Pessimism

One of the most important things a pastor can do when implementing changes is to communicate. You can’t over-communicate when you are making changes. Your congregation needs to know the what, when, how, and especially why changes are being made. There is a temptation here for most pastors, because once change is communicated, then the protests start. “We’ve done it this way for years– why change now?” “That sounds expensive and like a lot of work. We don’t have the resources for that.” “We don’t want to do something new. We like it this way.”

In this stage, the benefits of change don’t feel immediate and sometimes the wait can make them seem unimportant. You might forget why you felt so strongly about the changes you were called to make. The cost associated with the change becomes apparent, and the grumbling starts to wear you down.

Again, we can look to the Israelites and see the parallel. In Exodus 14, as the Egyptians are racing toward them, the Israelites look at Moses and say, “Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.” (Exodus 14:11) Funny isn’t it? The same Israelites who were just a chapter before praising God for His deliverance have abandoned the idea at the first sign of trouble! Suddenly they don’t remember the horror of Egypt, they would rather go backward than to face their fear, which leads directly to stage three.

Stage Three: The Valley of Despair

The costs have been counted, and the people are grumbling. Benefits for change seem far away and your people are struggling to support a change they don’t feel is necessary. You’ve tried to communicate the reasons why, and you’ve fought the good fight. But in stage three, even you will start to question your decisions for change. You will start wondering if this is even worth it.

At this stage, no one is happy. You aren’t happy, your congregation isn’t happy. Heck, even your dog is unhappy at this point. You will look for a way out of this hard struggle. And the easiest way to get out of it? Just go back to the way it was. After all, you rationalize, it wasn’t so bad before. It’s the same feeling the Israelites had when they told Moses, “Just take us back to Egypt!”

Many pastors quit at this point. And it’s definitely tempting to walk away. But beware– this is a watershed moment. If you can stand firm and exercise patience in this stage, you can make it to stage four!

Stage Four: Informed Optimism

Yay! We’re back to an optimistic point! Finally, you are seeing some fruits of your labor. The benefits you knew would come are tangible and people are feeling momentum. At this stage, there is support for the vision and excitement is building. Your congregation has not only embraced the change, they now see the tangible difference it made and are inspired by it!

For the Israelites, this looks like crossing the Jordan into the Promised Land (Joshua 3). They have wandered for 40 years as a punishment for their disobedience and their obstinance. But in crossing the Jordan, they are making a break with their old life and entering into their new life with God in the land promised to them. (We certainly hope you don’t have to wander for 40 years in the desert of indecision, but you should know that most of the time you won’t reach this stage until year 4 or 5 of a replant.) They are ready to take on the task of fulfilling God’s covenantal promise to them.

Stage Five: Success and Fulfillment

The final stage of the emotional cycle of change is success and fulfillment. You are not only seeing your changes and your goals come to fruition, you are creating a whole new culture. This is no longer about small changes, this is about the larger attitude of the church. The church is changing from a “me first” mindset to a church that makes disciples that makes disciples that make the community noticeably better– one with a healthy culture of disciple-making and missional involvement. It’s not change for the next year or two, or even for your time as a pastor there, it is a multi-generational change that lasts long past your tenure.

Looking at our parallel with the Israelites, this is the Battle of Jericho moment. This is complete trust in God and complete success in the mission of God.

How do we get there from here?

Many of you are stuck in those early stages. Can I take a moment to encourage you? Typically, it takes 4-5 years in a replant to see the latter stages of informed optimism and success and fulfillment. During that time, you will feel the temptation to give up. Many pastors give up around year three, when they feel stuck in that valley of despair. But we need you to stick it out, pastor. Your church needs you. Your family needs you. There are battles to be fought and hard times to go through, and we need you to know that there are better days ahead. God has not lost sight of you, and like the Israelites, you will soon see a victory. Keep at it, pastors. God has not abandoned your church– or you.

EP 172 – NEW YEAR, NEW FOCUS

Written on January 4, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 172 - NEW YEAR, NEW FOCUS

00:00 / 26:06

Hey there Bootcampers! We’re back from our Holiday break, we’re jumping right in and getting down to business and discussing the important awareness of how you live your life as a leader. Our good friends at First Coast Churches hosted an annual meeting where Lance Witt presented some great info on how Pastors can move beyond the grind.

Every leader lives on two stages:

The front stage-everyone sees
The backstage-clutter, curtains, chaos not many ever see this

The challenge many Pastors face is staying connected to and loving Jesus, the Shepherd, more than the sheep business. How do you do that? Witt, provides some helpful framework for us from Psalm 23

Create space and time for unhurried time with God
Pay attention to what you are paying attention to
Let rest – restore you
Grab your calendar by the throat-don’t let life or ministry plan you-proactively plan with the Lord’s guidance.
Engage good self-care rather than self-medication
Practice a Sabbath (you need a day off)
Let your time with God give embolden you with courage
Receive the voice of God’s blessing

There’s a whole lot more packed into this EP, check it out!

Your website can go to the next level when you get the help you need. Contact our great sponsor, One Eighty Digital, they’ve got the experience and know-how to get your web presence heading in the right direction.

EP 171 – LOOK BACK AND LOOK FORWARD

Written on December 28, 2022.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 171 - LOOK BACK AND LOOK FORWARD

00:00 / 27:01

Welcome back Bootcampers. As we’re heading toward the new year we wanted to take a few minutes to talk about the importance of looking back (reflecting upon the past year) and then looking ahead the the new year which is approaching. We’re finding the twin disciplines of reflection and futuring extremely helpful in life, leadership and serving the local church. Our good friend, Bob Bumgarner developed a helpful sheet to guide this practice.

Here are some questions to guide this process:

What were you attempting for Jesus in 2022?
What progress did you make?
What were some of the highlights or turning points?
What will you carry over (actions steps) into the coming year?
What challenges did you face? How did the Lord see you through?

We would love to hear from you Bootcamper! Is there something that made a difference for you? Have some wisdom to share or a question to ask? Drop us a line, voicemail-we would love to hear from you.

Maybe you’ve been looking at your web presence and realize you need to do something different in the coming year. Our awesome sponsor, One Eighty Digital, can get you headed in the right direction. Contact them today and let them know you are a Bootcamper!

EP 170 – CHRISTMAS IS RUINED (not really)

Written on December 21, 2022.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 170 - CHRISTMAS IS RUINED (not really)

00:00 / 15:05

Merry Christmas Bootcampers! We know that this time of year can a huge challenge for Pastors/Planters/Replanters-and we want to encourage you, amidst all the hustle to connect with the truth behind our celebrations at Christmas time.

Jesus’ birth reminds us of God’s great love
The most simple story is also the most profound-Jesus came into the world to save sinners
Don’t feel the pressure to be unique-just be clear, the biblical account stands on its own

In all seriousness, we pray you have an incredible Christmas. We’re thankful for you, Bootcamp listener.

The Balancing Act: How to Juggle Ministry and Family

Written on December 12, 2022.

Is it possible to balance the demands of our ministry and the needs of our family? How can we walk the tightrope between being “on-call” for our congregation’s needs and getting rest to be able to meet those needs? If we work 60+ hour weeks, what is left to give our family?

Bryan Dyson, the former CEO of Coca-Cola, once gave a commencement speech in which he made this analogy:

“Imagine life as a game in which you juggle some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends, and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that ‘work’ is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

In my own life, I have labeled the balls somewhat differently, but I certainly agree with and embrace the analogy.

Replant pastors are juggling so many balls, it may feel nearly impossible to label which ones are glass and which are rubber. But those labels may reveal the difference between a successful juggling act and a floor full of broken glass.

Struggling with Juggling

While identifying the balls can be helpful, most can agree the hardest part of juggling isn’t knowing the type of balls in the air. It’s keeping them all in the air. While you can drop some of them, the show is certainly more successful if you can keep them going.

As pastors, there is often a feeling of immediacy to every demand– it can all feel like there is an emergency around every corner. “I have to help this person, be at that hospital, take care of this facility need, get that bill paid, go to this event, get to that game…” The list is endless. And that’s just it– there is always something else to do!

So how do pastors learn how to juggle?

It’s All About the Timing

On Episode 116 of the podcast, JimBob discussed the answer to this very question and came up with eight ways to balance family and ministry.

Attend your children’s events. No matter what your child is interested in, whether it be theater, a sporting event, or debate club, your attendance at their event is important to them. You need to prioritize attending these events. They will always remember looking in the stands or in the audience and seeing their biggest fan out there rooting for them.
Keep dating your wife. Date night doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to be a lavish dinner at a swanky steakhouse. It can be just taking a drive to a local park for lunch while the kids are in school and having a picnic of McDonald’s cheeseburgers. It can be breakfast at a local diner on a Saturday morning. If you have small kids, find friends who have kids at similar ages and trade weekends with each other. They watch your kids one weekend, you return the favor the next. The important thing isn’t where you go or what you do– it’s that you take time to do it.
Speaking of your wife, remember that the church hired YOU. Your wife is like any other church member. She should be able to choose where to serve in the church that benefits her God-given talents and abilities. Your wife is not called to be every ministry’s lead person. Rest assured, if you push her to be involved in everything, you will have a burnt out support partner and you will both suffer because of it.
Remember to keep a Sabbath– and it won’t be Sunday. Sunday is a work day for pastors. You have to be diligent about creating a Sabbath on another day of the week, a day where you are off duty and can truly find rest.
Take a vacation! You need a couple of weeks AT MINIMUM to recharge and reset from church life. Trust that God has everything under control and allow your fellow ministry leaders to handle everything while you are gone. Be diligent about setting a boundary for your time off with your family.
Have a rhythm to your time with your family. Carve out specific times that are solely for your family. Be very careful not to let anything interfere with that. Your family will know that the specific family time is important to you and they will feel honored that you have set it aside for them.
Find time to do something physical. Much of the work of pastoring and shepherding is mental and emotional. Your brain and your spirit are occupied in this work 100% of the time. You need to balance that with physical activity that lets your brain rest while your hands work. Some pastors find this time at the gym, others find home improvement projects helpful. Anything that allows you to rest your mind but engage your physical body.
Most importantly, be PRESENT. Don’t just be “there,” be fully present and engaged when you are with your family. If you need to turn off notifications for that time, or set your phone aside, do it. There is a myth out there that we multitask. We can’t. Our brain actually has to stop and start each task, which takes MORE time, not less. You cannot be present with your family and also present with your phone and your social media. You need to choose one– and by this time, you should realize it should be your family.

Sometimes, You Gotta Drop the Ball

The truth is, there will be times in ministry when you have to drop the balls. You aren’t Superman, but more than that, you aren’t God. You can’t juggle the needs of your entire congregation, your facility, your other job (if you have one), your community, and your family without occasionally needing to put down everything and focus on just carrying the very fragile, very important glass ball until you are ready to start juggling again.

Church will always take as much as you are willing to give. Church work can be a ravenous beast, and you can never feed it “enough.” There will always be work that needs to be done and ministry that needs to be led. But there are very rarely true emergencies that require your immediate attention, even though it may feel like it. (Marriages don’t end at 11:30 pm when they finally call you for help– that marriage will last until tomorrow when you can get to them.) You must be willing to prioritize your time and set boundaries that allow you to keep your family- and your sanity- intact.