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Multiple pages from busy calendar scattered on a flat surface as seen from above.

Making Sure Busy Doesn’t Equal Burnout

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“You need a break.  We’re a little concerned that you’re stretching yourself too thin. You just seem really busy and stressed out.” My friend was concerned, and to be honest, I was, too.  I was going through our busiest season of ministry and I was so exhausted that I was snapping at my family regularly enough that my kids were walking on eggshells around me. I was mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually drained.

I agreed with my friend that I did absolutely need a break, and I was grateful that they at least acknowledged how hard I was working.  But then, in the very next breath, they said, “It would be great though if you could please counsel with my friend– I told her you’d be happy to call her and talk her through some emotional stuff she’s going through.”

Sigh.

Unfortunately, this story isn’t unique.  Pastors everywhere are facing jam-packed schedules and struggling under the weight of congregational expectations. Replant pastors are often their church’s pastor, discipleship leader, janitor, maintenance man, events coordinator, interior designer, and communications director. With all these jobs and more, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day!

In 2021, a study conducted by Soul Shepherding, a Christian leadership training ministry, found 75% of pastors reported feeling extreme stress, 90% reported feeling extreme fatigue, 90% were working an average of 55-75 hours per week, and 85% had never had the opportunity to take extended time off. 

With those statistics in mind, the latest episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast sought to give pastors some tips to prevent our busyness from leading to burnout. 

The Truth About Being Busy

a busy man with multiple arms and legs juggling a briefcase, clock, cell phone, and papers

We are wired to enjoy being needed– and as a pastor, you are definitely needed! Usually by everyone, all at once!  But there is a danger in finding your satisfaction in being needed: eventually, you make yourself so necessary that you can never take a break.

Here is a fun fact about work– our brains are also wired to find accomplishing tasks rewarding. Recent studies have proven that your brain releases dopamine when you achieve goals, and that checking off a “to-do” list can make you feel happier.  

There are two problems in this, as Bob pointed out. First, sometimes we allow ourselves to love the ministry that we have for Christ more than we are loving Christ. Second, as Jimbo says, ministry never ends– there is always another meeting, someone in the hospital, someone’s house you need to visit, some marriage that needs counseling, a committee that needs to be met with, or a contractor that has to be negotiated with for your AC or your copier lease. Then, of course, you always need to get a weekly sermon prepared. (Whew.) 

If the ministry is never “done,” then we never get that rush of dopamine from checking things off.  Instead, we just keep feeding the ministry beast– but it’s a monster that is never satisfied. And if you aren’t careful, you will feed your own ego, as well.

Another truth about our busy schedules is that we don’t always allow ourselves to have a proper “Rest Day.”  For us, Sunday is a work day.  It may be a “day of rest,” for many of our congregation members, but for us, it’s Game Day. It’s the day we show up early, stay late, and preach the Gospel in between. 

The command to honor the Sabbath and keep it holy wasn’t about making sure you went to church and then napped.  It is a command from our creator to rest– not because He needed it, but because we do. God knew we needed time to reset our minds and to refocus on Him. He knew this about us because He created this need in us!  When we get so busy that we neglect the Sabbath, we operate outside of God’s will and His power.

Too Busy or Too Distracted?

Here’s the thing– many times, when we’re busy, it isn’t because we are doing everything God has called us to do.  Some of us have lists of ministries, activities, and tasks that aren’t ours to do.  Either we have taken on someone else’s responsibilities or we have placed too much emphasis on our own abilities.

Take a look at your life– where are you feeling the most stress?  The most anxiety?  What task feels like it’s taking more time than you can possibly give?  Is this something that God called you to do?  Sometimes we forget that while, yes, God called us into ministry, He never asked us to do every part.  We forget that He said we are all one body, but different parts, and instead we try to take on every single role in the church.  This is a trap of Satan– if we get busy enough, we get stressed, then burnt out, and then distracted.  We take our eyes off the goal of loving God and loving people and start to focus on working for God and working for people.

Sometimes it’s not that it’s someone else’s responsibility, but their expectation.  Frequently, pastors are approached by people who really feel their church needs a specific ministry or a specific event. These are good projects, and pastors may agree they are needed.  But when asked about who will lead it, typically members will say, “Well, not me.  I just had the idea.  Can’t you lead it or head it up or find someone else to do it?”  Their expectation is that we have the time and energy to lead every single thing at the church.  In reality, God most likely called them to that ministry.  He gave them the vision and he impressed it upon their heart. 

When we take on someone else’s expectations of what we should be doing, we shortchange God’s work in their lives, while simultaneously creating unnecessary stress on our own. We feel this pressure to make sure they know we’re working hard.  We want our members to see that our car is always in the parking lot, that we are the first to arrive and the last to leave, and that we are always in the office (never mind the fact that so much of ministry happens outside of normal office hours). We feel like being present at every event and every meeting somehow secures our job and makes us seem like the hardest worker in the room.

But here is a hard truth:  You’re not God.  You aren’t omnipresent. You can’t be everywhere, all the time.  The faster you operate knowing that you aren’t capable of doing it all, and the quicker you remind other people of that, the better your schedule looks.

Before You Burn Out

a sloth hanging from a tree

Now that we’ve diagnosed why we’re busy, what can we do about it?  Should we just quit everything and become sloths?  Tempting, but no.

First, you need to set a sane work schedule.  Look at everything you do in a week– literally everything.  How much of your time is spent in sermon prep?  Bible study?  Personal time with God?  Kids sporting events?  Date night with your spouse?  Now start recognizing what is important versus what is urgent. A recent podcast and blog can help you identify those terms better to help you make that decision.

Next, focus your work according to your wiring.  You are naturally geared toward specific schedules and productivity times.  I am not a morning person– I don’t come alive until after the coffee is in my system and my body is sufficiently awake, usually around 10 am.  I am super productive until about 2 pm, then I eat lunch.  Typically I have an afternoon slump after lunch but pick back up around 4 and stay powered up until 9 pm.  If I schedule an intense meeting at 8:00 am and pencil in my bible study at 3 pm, it’s a recipe for disaster.  

Look at your rhythms of productivity and schedule accordingly. When are you most creative?  When is a good time for administration related tasks that require less brainpower?  When are you at your best physically for those tasks that require more physical strength?

I am also an introvert.  I know if I have “peopled” too much for too long, I will eventually run out of power in my social meter.  I have to remember to schedule myself appropriately and leave time for me to recharge so I don’t grow weary of socialization.

Now, delegate and elevate.  Those people who thought of a great ministry activity and expected you to lead it?  Empower them!  Allow them the grace to find their footing and lead it themselves.  They may make a mistake– that’s OK. You can train them and release them much easier that you can try to do everything yourself. Is there something you’re doing that falls under the description of a committee, elder, or deacon responsibility?  Delegate it.  They have a job God has called them to do; it’s time for them to do it.

And last, but certainly not least— remember to pencil in time with Jesus at the top of your list.  He calls us to come to Him and receive rest when we are weary (Matthew 11:28). Before you burn out completely, start making it a priority to come to Him.  Meditate on His words, not just for sermon preparation, but for your own personal time with Him.  Allow Him to show you areas of weakness and areas where your ego may be leading instead of Him.  Take time to talk to Him, but make sure you include time to listen, too.  Jesus longs to bring rest to your exhausted soul– let Him.

Resources for the Busy Pastor

a front copy of the book Redeeming Your Time by Jordan Raynor

Many of the applications we mentioned in this podcast and the accompanying blog are tips we’ve learned from our friend, Jordan Raynor.  Jordan’s book, Redeeming Your Time, has reshaped and changed our schedules for the better and we highly recommend it.

Right now, Jordan is offering Bootcamp listeners a discount for his online course where you will learn the principles Jordan teaches on how to make your work more productive and more meaningful. The course is normally $249, but Bootcamp listeners can sign up for only $49 using the discount code “JImbo.” Email us to connect with Jordan’s online course.

We also have the Replant Summit coming up in exactly one month.  If you haven’t registered for it, please do so now!  The theme this year is “Renew” and we are excited to meet each of you and spend time with one another.  

As always, if digital marketing is taking up too much of your time, our friends at 180 Digital are happy to help.  Contact them and see what resources they have to make your life a little easier!

3 Ways to Recover from Church Hurt

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Every one of us has had painful experiences in our relationships with others. This is because when sinners do life together, we are bound to be selfish, say hurtful words, and do hurtful things. Relationship “hurt” is unfortunately inescapable, and if we’re honest, we have been the culprit at times. But what do you do when someone gets hurt by the Church? 

The term “church hurt” has become increasingly popular in modern culture, but the concept is nothing new. I’ve talked to many people through the years and often ask, “Do you have a church home somewhere?” When they say “No,” I will sometimes press a little further. “Why not?” Their answers are not usually a difference of beliefs or a lack of desire. Instead, one of the most common answers people give is, “I’ve been hurt by the church.” 

Church Hurt is Real

See if any of these similar answers are familiar to you:

“I didn’t feel welcome.”

“I don’t trust religious leaders.”

“The people were too judgemental.”

“They weren’t supportive during a time of need.”

“I’ve just had bad experiences at the church.” 

All of these responses are related to Church Hurt in some type of way. Worse, there are many who have suffered abuse, manipulation, and mistreatment within the church. We may be quick to dismiss their response as unfounded and insignificant. But the truth is  people have had real hurt from others, and we need to be careful in our reaction. We all can take part in helping people reconcile relationships, seek healing, and understand the gospel of forgiveness. 

Pastors Face Hurt, Too

Church Members aren’t the only ones who get hurt. Pastors can be victims of this as well, and sometimes more severely. Forced termination, secret meetings, harsh criticism, gossip, and lack of care are all examples of hurt that pastors experience. 

The pressure of ministry can sometimes feel insurmountable. In the podcast episode this week, Jimbo and Bob help us understand how to endure church hurt and bounce back from painful experiences. If you are reading this as a church member, a pastor, or a replanter, here are a few ways that you can recover from church hurt.

#1. Evaluate Your Experience with Self-Awareness

I cannot stress how important self-awareness is. Two psychologists came up with this definition: Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards. If that wasn’t clear enough, I’ll put it another way: step out of your emotions of the situation and internally think about what actually happened in your hurtful experience. 

We need to separate in our mind what feels true, versus what is true. 

Without diminishing the experience of church hurt, I fear that we are too quick to highly-sensationalize our hurt and project it on to other people, oftentimes using friends as a sounding board. 

If we were to step back and survey our experience of hurt, we could probably come back with some observations. We know all people are sinners. We know that sometimes people say hurtful things. We know that not all are as spiritually mature as others. And we know that sometimes, our feelings control our responses instead of rational thinking. As Bob mentioned in the podcast, “We’re not as great as we think we are, and we’re not as bad as we think we are.”

Should church hurt ruin your experience of church all together? Don’t let a few experiences destroy your ability to love the church as God’s bride that will one day be sanctified. We should face the rational truth that the “Church” doesn’t hurt people, and God doesn’t hurt people. Sinful people within the church hurt people. 

The church is universal. And if a relationship is unable to be reconciled, you may end up seeking a new church. But to drop out of church altogether shows that you think that all churches will hurt you in a similar fashion. This is simply not true. To learn the ability of self-awareness means that you know your identity. And you must be able to cut through the noise of your emotions and think about how to handle the situation to bring God the most glory.

#2. Seek Reconciliation with the Parties Involved

I wonder how many believers have gone through a hurtful experience and never sought reconciliation of any kind? The scriptures are clear on what we are to do if a brother sins against us:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17

The problem is  we are so quick to ignore this command, and we don’t even try Step One. We go straight to the church (we begin to gossip and win people to “our side”) without first going to our brother or sister. If we were to obey this scripture that Jesus teaches, we would probably win over (or win back) our brother or sister without it ever going to the church and creating more of a mess than what it actually was. 

If our church hurt comes from a verbal exchange, it’s best to go to that church member and say, “My brother, I’m not sure you realized that when you said _________, I felt like you were saying ___________. This was hurtful to me.” I wonder how many times we would see the grace of reconciled relationships, if we simply tamed our tongues and went directly to the source of the conflict. 

If God sent his Son to die on a cross and save you of your sins, he can give you the power and ability to witness his grace and forgiveness between believers. Immaturity, hurtfulness, and selfishness can come from a church that is not eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. 

But we are called to be peacemakers, not peacekeepers. There is a difference. Peacekeepers seek to drown out the noise, find some points of agreement, and bury the conflict. Peacemakers address sin, rebuke it, encourage repentance and reconciliation, and move on with grace and forgiveness. This promotes maturity in the church and a unified spirit, while peacekeeping shows a lack of care and hides sin beneath a rug.

By the power of the Holy Spirit living in us, we can seek reconciliation from church hurt and move on with one another in the work of ministry.

#3. Be Patient in Seeking Recovery

I admit and agree, not every hurtful experience ends with friendship and hugs between parties. Some of these experiences are real, damaging, and require some separation. It may be necessary for your health to separate from a relationship, especially if it’s a repeated pattern of painful experiences. While it may be true that time heals wounds, it only heals if there is intentionality in pursuing health throughout the experience. And the closer a person is to you, the more hurtful the experience is.

But the work of ministry and the expansion of God’s kingdom is bigger than our earthly relationships. There are some ways in which we can, “bear with one another in love,” to continue serving together in the same body of Christ, even after a painful experience.

One biblical example of this hurt would be between Paul and Barnabas. “And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas and left . . .” (Acts 15:38). In Paul’s relationship with Barnabas, there needed to be some time they spent away from one another. After a “sharp disagreement,” they parted ways, but still continued on with the work of ministry. Interestingly, near the end of Paul’s life, he said this to Timothy: “Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry,” 2 Timothy 4:11.

After a hurtful experience, we must begin leaning forward, and not get stuck. It’s easy to drown out in isolation and be alone. But healing takes more time when we are alone. My encouragement is this: surround yourselves with counsel and solid friends as you recover. If needed, seek professional help as well. Because the work of ministry must go on. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.” If I need healing, I know I need close friends around me, praying for me.

While church hurt is real and painful, keep this in mind: we will only experience hurt on this side of Heaven. And we have a day to look forward to in which “pain will be no more.” While we are on this earth, let us not only seek God’s grace to recover from pain, but let us also extend that grace towards others around us. Painful experiences are a part of being human, but we can control how we handle it, to the glory of God.

Measuring Success in Ministry (Part 2)

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I feel like there are two kinds of people in the world.  One type is wired to love English/History. They most likely enjoyed these classes in school and did well in them.  They love that a sentence can mean different things when read in different ways.  They enjoy words and stories. The other type of person is geared toward Math/Science. They performed well and liked those subjects in school.  Ambiguity is frustrating to them.  They enjoy numbers, measuring things, and equations.

My husband is this type of person. He is a numbers guy.  Give him a spreadsheet and some formulas, and he will “Excel” at putting it all together. (As you may have guessed by that horrible pun, I am the other type. Words are awesome and I use a lot of them–the punnier the better.) This skill as a numbers person worked really well for him when his career was in Logistics and Warehousing.  But as a Replant Pastor, playing the numbers game can be discouraging and frustrating.

Ministry Maxims

In the most recent episodes of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob have been discussing some new “Ministry Maxims.” These truths, when applied to replanting, can shift our mindset and help create new practices that allow replant pastors to see and celebrate the successes instead of focusing on the setbacks.

In the first episode  of the series and in last week’s blog, we focused on the first three Maxims:

  1. Discerning and Adapting 
  2. Leading Paradigmatic Change
  3. Empowering and Equipping Others

In this week’s episode, we added two more:

      4. Actions over Results

      5. The Importance of Multi-stream Revenue

Changing the Metrics for Measuring Success

If you are a numbers guy, like my husband, your metric for success in your church might be attendance, baptisms, and discipleship program participation.  But in the Summer, when we experience a “Summer Slump,” those numbers may seem a bit skewed.  And truthfully, those numbers might not be giving you a full picture the rest of the year, either. 

Instead of looking at those results, shift your mindset to a new Ministry Maxim– measuring actions, not results. When we measure results, we are often looking at the end point of a journey that actually  had several successes along the way.  An increase in attendance is hopefully a result of successfully reaching your community.  Increased baptisms is a result of successfully discipling your congregation to recognize that important step of public obedience.  And an increase in discipleship  participation is certainly a result of equipping and empowering your congregation to make disciples and to take their faith to the next step. Each of those seemingly small steps is a chance to celebrate success!

In my church, as in many others, we have a display that gives us a visual reminder that every success is important.  We refer to it as the “Who’s Your One” board.  There are five colored ping pong balls, and we drop them in whenever we successfully complete a step in our gospel process.  The first ball is white– we write a person’s name on it as our “One.” This person is someone we have identified as a person in our sphere of influence to whom we are making the commitment to pray for daily and to engage with the Gospel.  The next ball is red.  We drop those in when we have listened to and heard our “One’s” story. Next, we have the orange ping pong ball.  These are used when we share a meal with our “One.” The next ball is blue, and it represents meeting a need for our “One” in a tangible and practical way.  And the final ball is green, and it represents the moment when we are able to share a gospel conversation with our “One.”

A board displays ping pong balls with colors representing steps in a church discipleship process

Each of these balls has a story and represents not just a small step, but a consistent and committed effort to reach someone who is far from God with the life-changing Gospel of Jesus Christ.  We know that each of these steps are worth celebrating– not only for the potential result of a new life in Christ, but for our members who are growing in their faithful obedience to God’s call to share their faith.

Our decision to celebrate these small steps was strategic: first, we identified the measurements that were important to us as a church.  We weren’t looking to be the biggest church in town, and we didn’t want to grow from membership transfers.  We wanted to reach people who were far from God with the Gospel, and we wanted our members to take ownership in that process. So our metric went from “Are you inviting people to church?” to “Are you sharing your life with someone who needs the Gospel?” Once we identified the actions that represented that goal, then we communicated them to our people and built a visual reminder of them.  And lastly, we celebrate each time a ball is dropped in that display.

What are the actions your church is taking toward reaching your community?  Are your members meeting the needs around them?  Celebrate it! Are they engaging in conversations with others?  Celebrate it! These are important victories that are going to lead to bigger results. Every Sunday, take time to recognize the successes and remind your congregation that each step is vital, not just the end goal.

Changing the Metrics for Measuring Revenue

As Bob pointed out in the podcast, we are entering into a season where resourcing mission and ministry will require more than just tithes and offerings.  While there is a biblical mandate for the congregation to support the ministry with those gifts, replant pastors would benefit from shifting their thinking from a sole source of revenue to multiple avenues to generate income for their church.

Often, replant churches have a lack of money and manpower. But what they do have, sometimes in abundance, is property and buildings. Those unused classrooms and parcels of land that have sat empty can be used as income-generating revenue for your church that you can use to move the ministry and missions of your church forward.

Our church had an empty 4 acre corner lot at the edge of our property.  Because of the way it was positioned, the church could never use it for any specific purpose.  Much of it had overhead power lines that would prevent us from being able to build, and it was too far from the current sanctuary to be beneficial for us.  

After much prayer and discussion, we opted to sell the property.  We were specific in what we were looking for.  We wanted a buyer who would develop the 4 acres into new, affordable housing for our community.  The property sold within a few weeks, and now there are newly constructed homes on ½ acre lots waiting for new families to settle in.

But the income we generated in that sale didn’t just sit in a savings account to gather interest.  We used it to repave and paint our parking lot, which was dangerously uneven and had grown into a weed-filled eyesore. The new layout of the parking lot not only gave us a better first impression to visitors and to our community, but it also provided several new parking spots in the repainting.  The ministry and the mission of our church was funded through the sale of a parcel of land we would never use.

a close up of a parking lot with drainage problems and broken pavement

Another church in our association had an excess of space in their building.  They recognized that unused classrooms and hallways were not functioning as the best use of their church.  Instead of shutting them down and leaving them empty, the church partnered with a local Christian school and leased the space to them.  Through the week, this Christian school meets in those once-empty classrooms and uses the space.  What was once an empty hallway is now a thriving school.  This partnership generates income for the church while meeting the need for Christian education availability in the community. The mission and ministry of the church is funded by utilizing an otherwise unused resource.

Maximizing the Maxims

In my family, we will often talk about needing a “win,” or a success.  Sometimes it’s a good grade on a test, an unexpected check in the mail, or a presentation at work going better than I expected. But when we’re feeling like we’re taking loss after loss and we’re discouraged and banged up, our wins can be small things: finding a close to the door parking space in the rain, realizing we have money on a gift card for lunch, or an uplifting word from a friend. Celebrating these small wins helps me focus on the positive things in my life.

Likewise, when we utilize these Ministry Maxims, we shift our mindset from focusing on setbacks to looking at successes. Instead of being discouraged and frustrated by places we think we’ve failed, we recognize the places where God is still working and moving in our congregations.  And when we get excited about that, so do our members!

Which ministry maxim are you most interested to implement?  Let us know in the comments or connect with us on social media!

 

Measuring Success in Ministry (Part 1)

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My father has been in the ministry for almost 34 years. In many conversations, he has commented on the summer season of church life during those few hot months in between school sessions. In talking with him this week, he said, “Many families are gone over the summer, but we don’t slow down very much. However, the dynamics of our ministry change.” Instead of continuing with the same caliber of ministry activities, they place their focus on summer events for the community and missional engagements such as VBS and Mission Trips. They also use summer months to focus on their teams and committees, even having a short retreat for their staff.

Summer presents a unique challenge to the life of our churches, and depending on the DNA of your Sunday gatherings, missing out entirely for a few months seems like a normal practice for young families. Of course, people need vacation time and rest to spend with their families. But when several core families are missing for a fourth of the year, the effects can seem devastating and confusing. 

During these summer months, many pastors even take sabbatical time themselves. Or, they will use the opportunity to restructure and rethink their ministries and calendars. Continuing with the same momentum in June and July, versus the rest of the year can seem like a daunting task. To avoid burnout, there are several ideas presented on this week’s podcast episode, and last week’s blog, that will help you think about the upcoming months in the life of your church.

Discern and Adapt

Some leaders want to double down and get into a deep study during the summer. But it can help to take a step back and use less-attended church services to focus on your core people and discern a ministry plan for the rest of the year. In Romans 12:2, Paul says to “be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” The type of mind-renewal Paul is talking about takes time. 

But if you’re anything like me, there are some seasons that you are running so fast, and so chaotically busy, that you have no time to think. And when you don’t have time to think, it’s difficult to discern the will of God for you and for your church. Summer should be a time of reflection and focus. This is why many pastors take a season of rest during the summer while continuing to maintain the regular services and ministries of the church.

This time of discernment and adaptation takes place by:

1. Immersing yourself in the Word of God

In John 15:8, Jesus says, “By this my Father is glorified. That you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” Did you catch that? Did you know that it is possible for God to be glorified by you simply abiding in Christ and bearing fruit? Sometimes we forget that in the busy-ness of ministry, God is not solely pleased by our righteous deeds. He is also glorified when we simply rest in Him. Sometimes we need to talk less and listen more to the voice of God to discern what the next steps are. 

2. Reflecting on culture, the world, and the church

What’s going on in the world today? This question will affect the way you do ministry and the elements you highlight, even in preaching. The gospel of Jesus Christ never changes, but the world around us constantly does. How can you be a faithful pastor that speaks directly to what your congregants are facing? I’ve talked to some leaders who are completely unaware of what is going on in the culture. Yes, we are called to “not love the world or the things of the world.” But the way we can love others is by speaking the truth of the gospel to the current situations our world is facing. God can and does use cultural affairs around us to open up gospel conversations! Spend significant time reflecting on the surrounding culture, and it will make you a more direct and pertinent leader.

3. Exercising good decision-making by utilizing your teams and leaders

No one is expecting you to do ministry alone. Summer can be the perfect time to identify leaders, equip them for the next season of church life, and deploy them to help serve and minister. Ephesians 4:12 tells us the purpose of church leadership: “…to equip the saints for the work of ministry and for edifying the body of Christ.” When you dialogue with your deacons, elders, or members of a leadership team, their unique viewpoints of church life can help you determine how to engage with church members in the upcoming season. Every pastor has to learn the tools of delegation and equipping.

Lead Paradigmatic Change

Summer can also feel like a time to re-invigorate old programs that have no value. But if there is one thing that the COVID years taught us, it’s that some programs have not resurfaced, and they don’t need to. Summer presents a time to simplify, evaluate the functions of your church and determine whether or not any change is necessary.

In the podcast, Bob talks about the difference between a leader and a manager. A leader asks questions about how the ministry you’re doing affects the Kingdom of God. But a manager simply seeks to maintain the same strategy without asking any questions. As Peter Drucker once said, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” And if a leader is unwilling to determine where change is needed, then they should not expect the church to change in any positive direction.

Empower and Equip the Body

Don’t exhaust yourself to the point of no return. A good leader is one who recognizes leadership around them, identify and develop them, and then deploy them to the work of ministry. There is a reason God gave us deacons and gifted church members! To use for the work of ministry, in ways that a Pastor is unable due to time restraints and exhaustion. 

There is a sense in which we need to “deconstruct” the Pastor-only mentality. Recently, our Church Development team was looking through an Job Description to help a Pastor Search committee at one of our local churches. In the job description, we changed a lot of language because the language seemed to elevate the Pastor’s responsibilities to…everything, while reducing the member’s responsibilities to nothing. One of the duties was, “The Pastor will plan and conduct all worship services on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, and Wednesday nights.” Is this the Pastor’s role in the church, or can it be delegated to other members?

Pastors can easily burn themselves out with too much ministry related programs and activities. But in many ways, a man can only do what a man can do. Summer gives us an opportunity to identify and develop members around us, using their gifts and abilities, to carry on the work of ministry themselves. 

Be intentional this summer. At the beginning of it, set some goals for yourself, your ministry, and the church. Then, put some of these tools in place. God wants to use you this summer for His glory in the most effective way possible.

Leadership Capital

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Through college and seminary, my wife and I jumped from rental to rental, often finding the cheapest, most functional places we could. We knew our stay was temporary, so we tried to find rentals with a 6-month lease. Until we finished up our degrees, we lived in a variety of homes. But after moving back to Florida and temporarily staying with family, we began to search for a home to purchase and live long-term.

The language of mortgage loans was frustrating for me, and I felt ill-equipped to understand it all. Underwriters and Realtors were helpful, but I wish I had more economical knowledge before running into barrier after barrier. I didn’t understand why it was difficult and time-consuming to be approved for a mortgage loan, until my underwriter explained it to me in a way I finally understood: “Caleb, this process is all about trust.” 

In order to be approved to pay back a loan, the bank has to establish trust with you, by evaluating your proof of income, history, employment, family, and other factors. At some point, they’re willing to approve your request, because you’ve had time to build that valuable trust with them. 

And in the same way a bank might approve your request after adequate time, you have to build trust with your church before making any major decision.

Trust-Building Takes Time

Whether you are a Replanter or Revitalization Pastor, every leader must learn how to build “Leadership Capital.” Think of Leadership Capital as stored influence you acquire over time, that you can access when you need to make leadership decisions. A tendency among new leaders is to come in, shake things up, and move quickly. You may desire to make “big changes,” to prove yourself as a leader or visionary. However, trust-building takes time, and leaders need to learn the art of building Leadership Capital. Leadership decisions must be made in great wisdom.

If you think of this illustration in financial terms, capital isn’t earned overnight. It is built over time. The rate of growth is equivalent to the time spent in earning. As a church leader, you would be hard-pressed to find a church whose members will do everything you desire the first time you ask, with no question. Church members want to know if the pitfalls, the possibilities, and the opportunities around them are worth the risk. A healthy leader will build trust with them first, before enacting major changes.

Some leadership decisions have to be done quickly. But decisions require capital, and time builds trust. Leaders normally start out with zero trust. Or, you may be building back trust that has been lost by former leadership. If a former pastor overspent their capital, it could have left the church in burnout with trust issues, and confused about how to trust a future leader. 

Important and Urgent

As a church leader, you must understand the importance of discerning between things that are important and things are urgent. John Ortberg says that leadership is, “Disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.” Most leadership decisions will be met with feedback, pushback, and accountability. So before making too many decisions at once, consider Eisenhower’s Matrix:

Dwight D. Eisenhower, the 34th president of the United States, once said, “The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent.” This matrix has been a helpful resource for many leaders. It helps you schedule your time, manage your resources, delegate others, and get rid of the things that are wasting time. Tools like this are helpful for church leaders.

Often, I will be working on several projects simultaneously, and need to write out everything on a big white board. Then, I have to list out several priorities, and delegate whenever I possibly can. And yes, there are some things that I have to look at and take an eraser to, because they are not urgent, not important, and way too time-consuming. 

The main point of using a tool like this is to make leadership choices in wisdom and lead your people with effectiveness. Leaders will often experience a pace of change that is slower than what is expected. 

The Value of Trust

It is so easy to get frustrated with certain groups of church members because they aren’t moving as quickly as you want. However, each time you are eating a meal with a family, sitting in a classroom, praying with someone, or even giving some counsel about a mundane decision in someone’s life, you are building valuable trust with them. Finally, when you say, “Let’s start a new ministry to our community,” they will listen to the leader who has spent adequate time with them.

A helpful recognition is our lack of capital that we have to begin with, and how quickly it runs out. It takes time to demonstrate competency, character, and display commitment and consistency with people. It also takes time to build connections with people emotionally, so that your leadership will go a longer way and yield better results.

Don’t forget that once you decide to “use” some of your capital by making a big decision, you are responsible for organizing it in such a way that you establish healthy credibility with those around you. If you delegate, delegate with the right people, and make it the best you can. Plans made like this go a much longer way than we think.

When you love people well, listen well, pastor well, and establish credibility, you are building your capital, and you can feel a greater freedom to spend it when the timing is right. Some questions to ask yourself when making a decision is: “Which of these decisions will help our church move together more holistically towards church health? Are there any of these that are barriers to church health?”

For more information on leadership decisions, check out some of our previous podcasts on this topic:

 

A bible lays open for worship in an outdoor setting

Transform your Worship Service

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If you were asked to define worship in only a few words, what would you say?

Is it a time set aside on Sunday morning or does it happen on other days or at other times?  Is it the act of singing songs of praise to God or does it involve more than just singing?  Does it happen corporately only or also privately??  While I would hope that we would describe worship by something other than a specific time, place, or song, I know that the phrase “worship” can be difficult to define.

Many of us have been on the frontlines of the “Worship Wars,” and have seen the damage an incorrect definition of worship can inflict in a church. We’ve been in churches that would rather have two separate services than attempt to put their preferences aside and worship together.  We can probably identify churches in our circle that split over the use of hymnals versus screens. (We’d love to think that this is a recent development, but the truth is, people have been arguing about the relationship between worship and music since music began. The organ was originally marked as a tool of Satan, and setting the Psalms to music was considered blasphemy).

Some people define worship as a musical genre of songs that we sing on Sunday morning. But defining worship as a musical genre has two major flaws.  The first is that musical taste variable. What’s fashionable in music today isn’t what was popular 50 years ago and won’t be what is popular 50 years from now. The second is that musical taste is subjective, so what I like might not be what you like. And when worship becomes about my personal tastes and preferences, we’ve lost the true meaning of worship and turned toward idolatry of self.

Some people identify worship as a specific time and place.  By their definition, “worship” occurs only in church, and only on Sunday mornings between 10 and 12 am. For them, this time is set apart– there is a special dress code, a set of rules to follow, and possibly even a strict schedule.  This definition, too, has a flaw: If worship can only happen in that time and place, then the meaning of worship is limited to physical and earthly circumstances, and there is no room for the supernatural presence of God.

What we need is a better definition of worship.

Worship is a Response

On the latest episode of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob spoke with Dr. Joe Crider, the Dean of the School of Church Music and Worship at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth Texas.  

When asked to define “worship,” Dr. Crider gave this very succinct, but very convicting, response: “Worship is a response to our self-revealing God. God reveals, his people respond.” Worship was never meant to be held together by a musical thread– God would never call us to gather around something that changes so frequently with culture, or that would be so specifically tailored to individual tastes. Instead, Dr. Crider said, the unifying thread that holds worship together is the Word of God. The Word is unchanging.  It transcends generations, cultures, and time.

As a worship leader myself, I was convicted by this definition, and it truly changed the way I approach our corporate worship service, and my own personal times of worship.

A silhouette of a singer with her right hand raised in worship

Worship and the Word

Often when I think about how to create our corporate worship service, I think about how to create the response I’m looking for.  I want to have a service that is engaging, relevant, and that gives our congregation space to seek God.  I might look for songs that focus on a specific theme or idea, or that evoke an emotional reaction.

But if the Word of God isn’t the focus of our worship planning, then what exactly have people been responding to? 

If they’ve responded to anything other than the Word, then there’s a glaringly obvious issue with the worship service… It didn’t worship God. Instead, my congregation was led to worship musicians,  lyricists, well-spoken transitions, or worst of all… Me.  

None of that has eternal benefit.  

My words on Sunday? They disappear within a few days.  The song we sang?  Sometimes people can’t remember the words to it the following week.  The beats per minute that helped motivate us to move past our Sunday morning sleepies or brought us into quiet reflection before the Pastor speaks?  Not one person even knew how that’s carefully crafted.

But the Word of God stands for eternity.

When I base the service around the Word of God, I can trust in the authority and the power of the Word through the Holy Spirit.  Everything the Word says has an everlasting impact. The Bible promises me that the Word of God doesn’t return void, and that every word of it is God-breathed and inspired.

As Worship Leaders, we are tasked with a holy calling.  We have the beautiful gift each Sunday to introduce people to God so they can engage with Him and respond to Him.  When we cultivate a worship service, we are called not to be song-driven, but to be Scripture-driven. Only then can we be sure that they are responding to God as He reveals Himself to them.

When I put this into practice, it changes my perspective and transforms my planning.

A bible sits open with the pages turning

Applying Scripture to Worship 

Dr. Crider suggests using the Psalms (the song book of the Bible), to guide your worship planning.  In the podcast, he broke down Psalm 34 into sections and discussed the ways that we can use each of those to choose songs of praise, reflection, or even to introduce the Lord’s Supper or baptism. He also suggested using the Gospel as a guide, following the concepts of the Gospel: Creation, the Fall, Redemption, and Restoration.

I utilized this structure as I chose songs for our next service.  I looked at several Psalms and felt led toward Psalm 136.  It begins with verses 1-9 praising and thanking God for His creation. The Psalmist also repeats this line after every single verse: for his steadfast love endures forever. We opened baptism and praised God for the creation of a new life with Him.  We then sang praises for God’s grace and His work in our lives.  

Moving on to verses 10-16, the Psalmist thanks God for His rescue of the Israelites out of bondage in Egypt.  This led us to singing about God’s provision in the desert places of our lives and for giving us what we need. When we moved into the final verses of the Psalm, 11-26, we said the repeated phrase together as a response to God’s redemption of us as slaves to sin. To hear our entire congregation saying together, “His steadfast love endures forever,” and then to sing of the sacrifice and love of Jesus through “Jesus Paid it All,” was beautiful.

Applying this structure had many more benefits, as well. Instead of worrying about transitions between songs and making sure I was saying the “right” thing, I could just read the Scripture and let God speak for Himself. Instead of trying to evoke an emotion, I could trust the Holy Spirit to move in the lives of our people. Instead of leaving service wondering if people “truly worshiped,” I could know that they were given an opportunity to respond to God’s revelation of Himself because His word was made clear and known. Instead of thinking I needed more musicians or a bigger band, I could know that Scripture will not return void and I could lean back and let God do the heavy lifting. 

In addition to planning corporate worship service, I also began to utilize Scripture-guided worship as part of my personal worship, as well. Instead of starting with a song to get me in the right frame of mind, I sat down with my Bible and opened to the Psalms and quieted my brain for a while. When I allowed scripture to talk to me instead of lyrics to a song, the reverse happened. Scripture began to bring songs to my mind whose lyrics matched what I was reading. I was able to make Scripture-based connections to old and new hymns that I hadn’t recognized before.

Changing from music-based planning for our worship to scripture-guided worship is a work in progress.  Pastors, I would encourage you to guide your worship leaders through this episode and work together on continuing this week by week.  Remember to help your team by letting them know where you are going to be in Scripture each week, and communicate your vision for the service and for the congregation.  It will transform the worship service and their own private worship.

Dr. Crider’s book, Scripture-Guided Worship: A Call to Pastors and Worship Leaders, breaks this concept down even further for pastors and worship leaders and is an invaluable resource.  Dr. Crider also has resources available through SWBTS and can be reached through their contact information.

 

A tray of paint sits on a table for renovation

Your Perspective is Limited- Here’s How to Change That

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Your Perspective is Limited- Here’s How to Change That 

In September of 2022, our oldest son was called to be a Youth Pastor at a church in Alabama and moved out of our home in South Carolina. We waited the prerequisite 6 months before we decided he probably wasn’t coming back, at least not to stay.  So this weekend we decided to paint his bedroom and turn it into more of a “guest room” space. 

When he lived there, his room went through several transitions as his tastes changed. So yesterday, when we started the process of repainting the room, we knew it would need a little work.  There would be a few holes to patch– just a couple of areas that probably needed putty and sanding.

But then we turned on the lights, took down some old décor, and started patching… And oh how wrong we were. See, what we couldn’t know was that these walls were covered with one hundred different holes as a testimony to his ever-changing decorations. Posters featuring athletes or video games had been hung with sticky tape a decade ago. Pictures and notes from his time as a camp staffer had been thumbtacked all over the room. Floating bookshelves that were meant to hold a few trophies had strained under the weight of old textbooks and pulled loose from the wall. And at one point, he hung old skateboards on the walls with screws and nails.

A wall being patched in prep for painting

This is the ACTUAL room in my house.  It looks like we have decided to polka-dot it with putty. There are hundreds of tiny holes, and a few large ones that will require sheetrock repair. There is so much work to be done just to simply prep it for painting that the room may never actually get painted.

Sometimes when we begin replanting, we have the same issue– we don’t see what lies under the surface.  This limited perspective means we don’t know how much we need to do to merely prepare for the process of changing.

lines to show perspective in art

The Fourfold Panorama

In one of the first Replant Bootcamp episodes, JimBob talked to Keelan Cook, the designer of the Fourfold Panorama for Replanting Churches.  This tool is invaluable to replanters as they begin the work of bringing life back into their church.

Keelan notes there are three things that churches must know when they decide to begin the process of discovery that leads to revitalization: The Biblical Mission of the church, which is unchanging, the congregation itself, which may be different from where it was at its start, and the context in which the church exists, which is ever-changing.

The problem in most churches is that the pastor typically only knows and can articulate one of those perspectives.  It takes a unique, multi-perspective approach to know where the “holes in the wall” really exist.

In his fourfold panorama approach, Keelan states: “Churches exist to bear witness to the glory of Christ through the making of new disciples from all nations. In order to do that, two big categories must be considered: the local church itself, and the context they are attempting to reach. Too often, people attempting to revitalize, plant, or replant a church do so with an eye on only one of these categories. That is always a recipe for disaster. It may, in fact, be why the church is in its current shape. It is possible to polish up a church real nice, and due to a lack of contextual understanding, create the fanciest obstacle to the gospel in a particular neighborhood.”

Many pastors and churches are simply “nose-blind” to their condition.  They think they know how their church is viewed within the congregation and the community, but in reality, they may not “smell” as good as they think. What I mean is, sometimes we see ourselves the way we aspire to be, but an assessment from outside perspectives might prove that evaluation to be false. In order to begin collecting data for this assessment, a church must ask itself: Do the activities of the church match the needs of the community?

As Keelan points out in the podcast, “a community is more than a geographical location-it is also a moment in time.” Instead of thinking of your community like a rock in the field, think of the community more like a rock in the current of a moving stream– the surrounding community is most likely drastically different than when your church began and you’ll need to “exegete” the community in order to know the needs of your community and how to meet them.

Glasses shown to clear perspective

The Four Perspectives You Need

In order for the church to begin a proper assessment of its current condition, some outside sources are necessary.  You’ll want to get someone’s unbiased, external viewpoint to help you begin the process.  Your local AMS or DOM is beneficial, but you could also ask a trusted pastor from a different church.  You’ll also need members of your church on the team. Your team needs to be as diverse as possible, filled with new members, longtime members, and potential members. You may even want to include the perspective of members who’ve left the church and gone elsewhere.

For the fourfold panorama assessment of the church’s condition, you need to consider four angles (or perspectives), and you’ll want to consider several sources for each.  First, you need the perspective of your church, both inside the church and outside the church.  Then, you need the perspective of the context (or community) in which your church exists, both from the inside and the outside.

The insider church perspective is looking for signs of life in your church.  They are looking to answer questions about the vitality of the church, spiritually, financially, relationally, and missionally. In the fourfold panorama approach, this information is found through church data like budget, bylaws, and its annual profile, and is typically something you can find through interviews and surveys of your current membership. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • Does the congregation exhibit a vibrant faith, spiritual maturity, a commitment to prayer, and a love for God’s word? 
  • Does the congregation love one another? Is there a spirit of unity, or does the congregation exhibit signs of deep division? 
  • How are the church’s finances? Does the congregation still give and steward its money well? 
  • Does the congregation demonstrate a genuine concern for the lost? Are they attempting to make new disciples, especially in the church’s immediate community? 

The outsider church perspective is searching for the reputation and witness of this gospel community. In other words, how does the outside world see the church? This is found through visitor surveys, asking other area pastors, and your AMS. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • How do people in the community describe the church?  
  • Do visitors think the facilities are substandard? Do they think the church is closed? 
  • Does the church have a reputation for being divisive or friendly?
  • What, if anything, do outsiders know about the church’s message?
  • Do people think it is a Bible-believing church that loves people?

The outsider context perspective is searching for demographic and cultural data for the community where the church is located. This is found through census data, chamber of commerce information, even area websites. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • How do members of the congregation view the immediate community where the church facilities are located? 
  • What are the populations and demographic trends? 
  • How do community leaders attempt to present the community to outsiders?

The insider context perspective is, according to Cook, often the most challenging to obtain. This perspective attempts to understand how the actual community residents view themselves, their community, and the world around them. It can be found through community interviews with business owners and residents around the church. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • How do the residents view the community where they live? 
  • How do the residents describe themselves and their worldview? 
  • Are there competing narratives in this community? For instance, has gentrification created two opposing communities in the same location? 
  • What is the spiritual and emotional climate of the community?

Patching the Walls

Once you have a proper assessment of the true condition of your church, you will find there are  places where you may need to repair some damage.  This may be within the church in the form of reassessing your programs and your missional vitality to your community.  As the shepherd of your church, it would be helpful to remind your congregation of the unbelievably beautiful calling of the Great Commission and to issue a call to rekindle their love for the community around them. You might have to have some difficult conversations about change and adaptation, and you may experience some of the Emotional Cycle of Change (see Podcast Episode 126 for details) as you guide your people through their fear or their reluctance to change.

You may also need to repair some damage in your community.  Your church’s reputation may be smudged, and you might need to make some apologies for past behavior.  There may be areas where the church will need to repent of its resentment toward its surrounding community and you will need to foster love and hospitality within your membership.

This work will be hard.  But in the end, it will be worth it.  Your church will have a new canvas, ready to be filled with the next great chapter of your church’s history.

Resources:

Keelan Cook’s Fourfold Panorama Assessment Tool

https://replantbootcamp.com/wp-content/uploads/PND_-Fourfold-Panoramic-Assessment.pdf

Mark Hallock’s Replant Roadmap

https://www.amazon.com/Replant-Roadmap-Congregation-Revitalize-Churches/dp/0998859729

Bob Bickford and Mark Hallock’s Pathway to Partnership

https://www.amazon.com/Pathways-Partnership-Replanting-Movement-Replant/dp/0999418149/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=pathways+to+partnership&qid=1677342997&sr=8-1

letters form the word Integrity

Integrity in Leadership- Part Five of the Godly Leadership Series

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stamped letters create the word integrity

This is part five of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, Part two, Goodwill, can be found here, Part Three, Empathy, can be found here, and Part Four, Respect, can be found here.

For the past five weeks, we have studied the traits of a Godly leader and the qualities we must have to fulfill God’s calling. This week, we end the series with a characteristic that builds on the other four: Integrity.  Integrity is the direct result of having humility, goodwill, empathy, and respect for others– but without integrity, none of the others will do any good.

Failure to Stand

In structural engineering, one of the most important aspects of architecture and building is structural integrity.  Without it, a building can be destroyed if a disaster strikes.  

In Ancient Rome, an entrepreneur named Atilius set about to build a new amphitheater for patrons to watch gladiator competitions. Atilius was wealthy but opted for a quick and cheap construction.  At its completion in 27 AD, the Fidenae Amphiteater was set to hold 50,000 spectators– but due to its lack of structural integrity, the amphitheater collapsed under the weight, resulting in the deaths of over 20,000 people.  The integrity couldn’t support the demand.

As replant pastors, we must remember that a lack of integrity won’t show up in the good times of growth and revival.  As Carey Nieuwhof writes, “‘Normal’ doesn’t really test your integrity.   Crises do. But when a crisis comes, it’s often too late to fix what’s wrong. The damage is happening in real-time.” This is the problem with a lack of integrity– you won’t know you lack it until you need it.

building with crumbling foundation

Godly Integrity

Thankfully, God is not silent when it comes to this subject.  God’s word speaks directly to the topic of integrity so that we can remain “structurally intact” in times of crisis.

In Matthew 5:37, Jesus tells us, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” In Proverbs 10:9, Solomon reminds us, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. And again in Proverbs 11:3, we read, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Both Job and David are praised by God for their integrity and their uprightness. In Titus 2:6-8, Paul reminds Titus to “Show [himself] in all respects to be a model of good works, and in [his] teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say” about them.

Imperatives for Integrity

There are five imperatives to be a leader with integrity. When we look at these, we have to be willing to examine ourselves and see where we are lacking. Without that examination, we run the very real risk that the next crisis will be the one that exposes our weakness.

  1. Authenticity: As Bob pointed out on the podcast, this word may need a bit of reclamation. Often when someone says they are “being authentic” today, what they typically mean is that they are comfortable with their sin. There is a lack of conviction that allows them to sink to their base level, whether that means using foul language regularly or being too rude in their speech. At our core, we are sinful people, so if being “authentic” means that you aren’t allowing God’s conviction to change you, it’s time to remind yourself that you are still being sanctified. If we look at what it means to be “authentic” in the biblical sense, it means you can be “authenticated” as to your ownership.  When people walk away from their encounters with you, do they feel you represented Christ to them?  Can they tell that God is the author of your life? Is there evidence to show that you belong to Him? Are you marked by the fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5?
  2. Consistency: Maya Angelou has a great quote on consistency. She said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It really speaks to the idea that we need to accept what people show us through their behavior.  But the inverse is true, as well– we are showing our teams and our congregations who we are through our behavior, too.  If you are habitually late to meetings, what you’ve displayed is that you don’t value your team’s time.  If you consistently fail to respond to messages or to do what you say you will, then you’ve shown others that you aren’t dependable and they shouldn’t rely on you. When you act differently at your vocational job than you do in the pulpit, your reputation is tarnished and you seem inauthentic to others. A leader with integrity is consistent with his behavior.   
  3. Tell the truth: This seems self-explanatory, but a leader with integrity has to tell the truth.  Like our structural engineering example, if our foundation can’t be trusted, we will fall.  All of us have heard stories of pastors whose private life proved their public persona to be a lie.  While they preached a good Word, they lived a lie of infidelity and abuse. Lying erodes trust.  If you can’t be trusted to tell the truth, then you can’t be trusted to lead well. When you lie, you encourage other people to lie to you, as well. Telling the truth keeps you accountable to others.
  4. Seeks feedback: A leader with integrity is looking for ways to grow and change.  They never see themselves as the smartest person in the room, because they know that everyone has blind spots to things.  By definition, a blind spot is something you can’t see yourself, you must ask others to help you. Proverbs 12:1 tells us, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (Don’t get mad at me, God said it.) Leaders with integrity look for accountability.  I have a small circle of people that I trust to challenge me and help me grow.  Any one of those people have access and authority in my life to tell me when I’m headed in the wrong direction.
  5. Trustworthiness: If you look back at our journey through the five characteristics of Godly leaders and the five imperatives that go with each one, you will find that they all add up to this final character trait, being trustworthy.  Can your church trust you?  Can your spouse?  Can your team?  You may think immediately, yes, of course, but can I challenge you?  Ask them.  Ask them if they feel that you are trustworthy.  Do they feel that you have the integrity you need to withstand the strong winds and weight of a crisis?  Do they feel that they are safe with you as the leader?  (If they are too scared to answer the question, then they have answered the question.) 

trust and truth are spelled out in white blocks with black letters on them

Summing it Up

As we’ve studied the five characteristics of a Godly leader, we can see how each builds on the next. The fruit of godly leadership is best summed up by Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul says, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness (goodwill toward others), with patience (empathy for others), bearing with one another in love (respecting others), eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit (integrity) in the bond of peace.” (ESV, italics mine) 

When we look at these traits, we may be quick to assume we are doing well in each of them.  But I encourage you to remember that a crisis for your church may only be one phone call away. There is too much to lose to take these imperatives lightly.  We are in a battle for eternity, and when the battle gets intense, will we be left standing?

 

The Pitfalls of “Personality” Leadership

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Pride in Leadership

Recently, I began reading a book that has been deeply convicting my soul. The more that I read it, the more evidence I see in my own life of areas that I need to change…that I need the Holy Spirit to change me. This book is called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller. In the book, he defines our culture’s incessant need for the inflation of our own ego, and talks about how the path to true Joy in the Christian life is one of humility and repentance of pride.

In this book, Keller defines our ego as empty, painful, busy, and fragile. The solution to an over-inflated sense of self worth is having a transformed view of yourself that only comes by the saving power of the Gospel and walking daily with God through the power of the Holy Spirit.     

This led me on a study through James where I have been teaching/preaching/writing over the past several weeks. And trust me, the podcast this week was just the icing on the cake. If we as pastors, leaders, ministers, etc. think that we can lead from the power of our own personality and ideas, void of the Spirit of God, we will accomplish nothing for God’s glory.

I believe that pride is the root of all sin. This is because all sin is self-seeking behavior, and all flesh is affected by sin in the world. We naturally have an inclination to inflate ourselves, exalt ourselves, and worship ourselves. This not only carries into our everyday lives, but also into our leadership positions. And I believe that pride is at the very root of the podcast episode this week: “Leading Beyond the Force of Personality.”

Sole-Dependence on Skills and Abilities

One of the characteristics of a productive organization is a charismatic leader. But it can also be a major pitfall. Organizations that are built solely on the personality of one person are not only problematic, but they are seriously dangerous. Last summer, I listened to another podcast, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. It’s a podcast that documents the rise of Mars Hill church to prominence and influence, but also the falling apart of the church after a series of bad leadership decisions. When this podcast first aired, it stirred up a lot of conversation about church leadership.

Some who were a part of the Mars Hill family only had good things to say about their time as members. Many more ended up leaving the church because of unhealthy leadership, bad relationships, loss of gospel standards, and a lack of clear communication. Some people were hurt because of an abuse of power. Listening to the podcast is a tragic story about how hard a church can fall when they have built their whole structure around one man’s personality. 

The reason why this type of leadership can result in failure is frankly because of the sin and pride in our hearts. Trying to lead solely based on our own personality is like telling God “I don’t need you,” while spending every moment wondering how a decision will impact your image. When this happens, we grow too dependent on ourselves and less dependent on God. Consider John the Baptist rephrasing his statement, like this: “He must decrease, I must increase!”

But we must remember what the word of God says: “Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 14:11). 

Pitfalls of “Personality” Leadership

We all have a distinct personality that has been given to us by God. It naturally flows out of us as we make decisions and meet people where we are. Our personality is not a bad thing. However, our personality can sometimes get in the way of leading from a healthy place. Leadership by personality alone is not sustainable.  And while you may have a great personality that is approachable, lively, and full of charisma, people can often feel diminished by the strength of your disposition. 

Unfortunately, this type of leadership is the main reason for pastoral burnout. When we fail to incorporate others in decision making and lead from a position of narcissism (“I can do it myself”), we think that the success of our church or organization is dependent on our identity and persona. This is an interesting thought process, and one that comes from the flesh. Leading solely from our personality is so clearly wrong that the results are painfully obvious. Crashing and burning is just around the corner. We know in scripture that we may water and plant seeds, but who is it that gives the growth? God alone, friends. 

Here is a better alternative: we should humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he will lift us up. Let the Spirit lead us, because the Spirit of God knows much more about how to honor God, than we do. The spirit is willing! The flesh is weak. 

One of the books I continually refer to is called Replenish, by Lance Witt. In the book, Witt sums up my thoughts by saying this: 

“We have neglected the fact that the pastor’s greatest leadership skill is a healthy soul. Our concentration on scale and technique and strategy has resulted in de-emphasizing the interior life. The outcome is an increasing number of men in women leading our churches who are emotionally empty and spiritually dry. It is the story of a neglected soul and mismanaged character. Of a slow drift into relational isolation. Of being seduced by ambition. These leaders didn’t intend for it to happen, but somewhere along the journey they stopped paying attention to what was going on inside of them. The shift was incremental and at times imperceptible.” (p. 19)

For God’s Glory Alone

You can use skills, abilities, and personality in your leadership position for God’s glory! But I think that doing this is easier said than done. It requires that we lay down our own ambition and pride, and we lead from a place of humility. Here is the biblical precedent for it: 1 Cor. 7:17, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” For what purpose? To what end? “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31).  If you want to lead from a place of humility, here are some practical ways we can do just that.

#1. Make much of Jesus in every leadership decision. Share about Him often, and make sure the mission or goal of your church reflects the mission of Jesus Christ. It’s about Him, not us! If we walk by the Spirit, we will not gratify the desires of our flesh. 

#2. Remind yourself daily that the church is not “your” church and the ministry you serve is not “your ministry.” We are shepherds and stewards; Jesus is the owner. 

#3. Work hard at praising others, not yourself. It’s better to be an encourager, not an overbearing manager. 

#4. Be interested in others, and incorporate others into your decision making while taking a general care in their lives.

#5. Don’t isolate, stay in touch with the people who are surrounding you in this ministry. God has put them there for a reason.

#6. Have regular, open accountability with others about your personal pitfalls.

#7. Remind yourself daily of the gospel and its impact on your life.

Cautions…About You

Always be Self-Aware

Look at the people around you. If there aren’t many, look at your wife and your family. Then, ask the hard questions. What are some ways that I’ve been slacking lately? Do you see any selfish ambition or pride in me? Can you help me see things about myself that I cannot see?

Always be Socially-Aware

How do your decisions affect other people involved in your ministry? Could it be said that you do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, and count others more significant than yourself? This caution is meant to cause us to look outwards, towards those around us.

Know when to Self-Regulate

One of the greatest things you can do as a leader is understand how and when to pull back and let others take the lead. 

To lead with humility, a good rule of thumb is to take Paul’s words on humility and put them in the context of leadership. I’ll paste the words here from Philippians 2:1-8

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

For more information on this topic, see the books I referenced: The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Designed to Lead, and Replenish. See this week’s podcast episode here.

Definition of Respect

Respect in Leadership- Part Four of the Godly Leadership Series

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This is part four of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, Part two, Goodwill, can be found here, and Part Three, Empathy, can be found here.

My husband started his ministry as a Youth Pastor.  We loved working with youth.  We found them to be hungry for the Gospel and for truth, and we genuinely enjoyed their goofy immaturity, especially as they tried so hard to be “adults.” We learned so much from the youth we served, but one lesson specifically sticks with us: the difference between positional authority and relational authority.

In positional authority, you have a person’s respect because of your position in their life.  As adults, we are used to this authority because most of us have employers who are in the position to speak authoritatively in our lives. Many of us were also raised by parents who expected this type of respect. But in this generation, there is more value placed on relational authority, where a person’s respect is based on your relationship to them.  You can’t speak authoritatively in their life unless they value your relationship with them.

We had many adults who volunteered in youth ministry who felt that the youth would respect them because they were parents or teachers, or simply because they were older– positional authority. But what we found is that teenagers responded much better to relational authority.  We could earn their respect and the ability to speak truth in love to them when we had a relationship with them.  Without it, we were just another adult annoying them with rules and expectations.

Watching this generational switch showed us something: leaders have to show respect to others before they can ever earn the respect of others. 

Find Out What it Means to Me

Thankfully, God is not silent on the issue of respecting others.  In Romans 12:10, Paul tells us that not only are we to love one another, we should “outdo one another in showing honor.” (ESV, italics mine) We are to respect each other more and more, almost as though respecting each other is a competition we are seeking to win. In 1 Peter, Peter tells us we must respect not only the good and gentle, but also the unjust (1 Peter 2:16-18). And in Matthew 22, Jesus himself instructs us that the greatest commandment is to love God, but the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. 

Mankind is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), so when we are respecting others and honoring them, we are respecting Him. Thus the inverse is true– when we disrespect others, we have disrespected the image of God in them. This goes not only for how we treat people with our actions, but especially how we treat people with our words.  Ephesians 4 reminds us that we are called to “bear with one another” in an effort to always strive toward unity.  When we disrespect others through gossip or slander, we have failed to speak only what is “good for building up” and what gives grace to those who hear us. We must remember that respecting someone isn’t just about our treatment of them when they are around us, it’s also how we speak about them when they aren’t present.

two men shaking hands

Take Care (TCB)

In case you can’t tell, I haven’t been able to write this blog post without Aretha Franklin demanding respect in my head. I have always wondered what “TCB” meant, and after doing some research I found out it was her shorthand for “take care of business.” So here’s where we as leaders take care of the business of respecting others. There are five imperatives that we must follow if we are going to show the respect to others that we must as Godly leaders.

  1. Honor Others–  When someone leaves a conversation with you, do you think they felt honored? Did you respect them as a fellow Christ bearer?  Did you treat them with kindness or did you dismiss them with arrogance? A leader who shows respect to others will seek to serve others. How are you serving your team?
  2. Open Communication– Be intentional about how you speak to others. Your words have power, so what are they saying?  Are you respectful in how you speak to people? In a recent podcast, Bob pointed out that honoring someone can even mean speaking in a way that honors their expectations toward change. While a visionary leader may want to say, “Let’s do XYZ,” someone who respects others will say, “What do you think about XYZ?” Communicating in a way that honors the opinions of those around you is a way to show that you respect their ideas.
  3. Disagree Productively– While you will certainly have times that you disagree with people, respecting them means that you remember the end goal is always unity. Romans 14 and 15 give us Godly ways to disagree with someone without disrespecting them. Instead of responding to disagreements with personal attacks, we need to ask questions and seek to understand why the other person sees it differently.
  4. Help Others Win– When we respect others, we value what they value.  We don’t merely cheer them on, we actively encourage them, assisting in their ideas and goals where we can.  We get excited when they win, not jealous or bitter.  We respect their passions and hobbies.  We show up for them.
  5. Express Gratitude– The people you serve in your congregation aren’t there because they have to be. While you do have positional authority as the Pastor, you must also cultivate relational authority by remembering that they have chosen to be a part of the church family that God is creating.  You respect that choice by being grateful for them and for their contributions. Express that gratitude in various ways– not just verbally, but in writing or in small tokens of appreciation.

Respect- Just a Little Bit

George Foreman once wrote, “Without appreciation and respect for other people, true leadership becomes ineffective, if not impossible.” It’s not enough to merely have positional authority as Godly leaders.  We must build relationships on mutual respect to be able to be effective leaders who can speak the truth (in love) to our congregations. We must learn to treat others the way we want to be treated, giving them grace and honoring their story. 

Leaders who lead from a place of authority lead people to fear them more than respect them. True respect comes when a team can come together as a family and can acknowledge each person’s value within it, even when they disagree. 

For further reading on Respect as a Godly Leader, see Designed to Lead by Erik Geiger, this episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, and this article on the need for Pastors to respect their congregations.