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Developing a Rule of Life for Replanters

Written on January 9, 2023.

I enjoy somewhat of a routine. I like knowing when, where, and how things are going to happen. I have a morning routine to wake up and an evening routine to wind down.

But for some reason, rules feel different than routines. Rules feel confining, often resulting in me finding a way around them.

So when Jimbob spoke on cultivating a “rule of life,” in Episode 119 I was immediately cautious. I shouldn’t have worried, though, because this rule is not confining. In fact, developing a rule of life can be liberating if sought out correctly.

The Rule you Won’t Break

John Mark Comer defines a rule of life this way: a rule of life is a set of practices and relational rhythms that help us create space in our busy world to be with Jesus, become like Jesus, and do what Jesus did—to live “to the full” in his kingdom, and in alignment with our deepest passions and priorities.

Essentially, a rule of life helps us make a difference in the world in a way that is healthy, helpful and life-giving. Cultivating a rule of life isn’t like trying to follow a specific diet or exercise plan. This isn’t a set of laws to follow. Instead, you’re setting a rhythm of life that allows you to be at your best. The word “rule” comes from a Latin word meaning “trellis.” In John 15, Jesus tells his disciples they must abide in Him in order to “bear much fruit,” in the same way a vine abides in a branch. This fruit is the fruit of the spirit and without a trellis assisting us, our fruit may spoil on the ground, unused and unhealthy.

Peak Performance= Determined Disciplines

Developing a “rule of life,” necessitates that we keep our peak performance in mind. Each of us knows what it looks like to operate at our healthiest level. We can most likely look back to a time where we were physically, spiritually, and/or mentally healthier. During this time, we’ve had specific disciplines in our lives that encouraged our health.

When we think of discipline, we need to think of structure. Proverbs 25: 27-28 says, “It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory. A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (ESV, italics mine) A lack of self control, or discipline, leaves us vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks. We are unguarded against exhaustion, stress, anxiety.

We are often prone to overdo things in our lives. Sometimes that can look like overeating that results in weight gain. But more often in ministry it can look like doing so much for the kingdom of God that we become over committed and overburdened to the point of burnout. When we fail to set up a rule of life that gives us the structure we need, we can end up feeling like Paul in Romans 7 where he laments, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.”

Cultivating a Rhythm

In order to set up a rule of life, you may want to ask yourself a series of questions. These questions should help you determine where you need to structure yourself and your life in order to have an effective and abundant walk with God.

What are my goals and visions for this year? Setting goals gives you something to work toward.
What am I doing that will help me achieve those? These are some practical steps that allow you to move forward in your goals.
What areas of my life do I need to exhibit some self-control? After you set your goals, and you’ve identified practical steps to get there, you can now begin to set up the boundaries you need to structure your life around those goals.
What areas in my life are life-giving and life-sustaining? These relationships, ministries, and hobbies can help you stay motivated and give you times of rest and peace.

As you begin to develop your “Rule of Life,” perhaps you will see some areas that need to be shifted. These may be duties that need to be delegated out or paused for a time. It could be a habit that isn’t healthy and isn’t leading you closer to your goals. Or it may be the realization that you can’t do it all and you need to create space for rest.

Cultivating this rhythm will take time. It will take discipline to learn to protect that rhythm. You’ll need to learn how to say no to the many requests for your time and energy and reserve them for those that foster your Rule of Life. However, if you stick to the rhythm you create, you will find that you will end the year healthier than you started.

Resources for developing a Rule of Life

Rule of Life: Blake Bennet, City Church, San Marco FL

Crafting a Rule of Life

Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck

Developing a Personal Rule of Life– Cross Culture Church

Healthy Leadership in 2023

Written on January 6, 2023.

What does it mean to lead from a healthy place?

I am new to ministry leadership, but not to ministry itself. Growing up in the church, I served in a variety of ways. I was an offering usher, a role I may have taken a little too seriously. I stood with my pastor/dad in the front of the church and shook hands as people were leaving. When in youth group, I learned guitar and began leading worship. My youth pastor poured into me and discipled me, and God began calling me to the ministry.

While in college I worked in youth ministry while getting my feet wet and learning how to preach and share the gospel with others. In seminary I grew very involved in the church and was mentored by professors, pastors, and leaders, doing ministry alongside them. I saw some of the hardships they faced, but for the most part, it was pure excitement!

Fast forward three years later, and I am daily doing the work of ministry. As an AMS, my ministry is unique. I have the opportunity to work with wonderful churches in our area and help out in a variety of ways. While there are some differences, pastors and AMS leaders have a lot in common. We have partnerships, opportunities to serve, discipleship with those around us, involvement with other entities, sermon preparation, vision-casting, leadership development, and so much more.

We also both experience the crippling depression, anxiety, and fear that comes when we are overwhelmed, because we’ve put too much on our plate. In an effort to hold the fort down, please others, and prove ourselves, we took on too much. And from time to time, we have to take a step back and see if we are leading from a healthy place, or if we are operating in PANIC mode!

Rest to Work. Don’t Work to Rest.

Early on in ministry, I shared Paul’s passion when he wrote, “Woe to me, if I do not preach the gospel!” But I was wary to relate to him when he wrote, “we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life.” As time went on, I’ve noticed the hardships of ministry in my own life. I learned from Brian Croft and others, that ministry is a slow and painful, yet joyful death. It’s the reality of ministry, and we are called by God to experience it at its fullness (in both joy and in pain).

In episode 172 of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob talked about a recent lecture given by Lance Witt, author of the book Replenish. I read this book about 6 months ago after talking about some hardships with my father. Some of the principles in this book were life-changing, and did more to help my leadership style than anything I had read before. But now, six months later, I must look back and remind myself of those principles, because the anxiety from an overwhelmed plate has crept up once again.

In a spoken commentary of Psalm 23, Lance Witt pulls out a few principles that are so helpful as we think together about leading from a healthy place in the year 2023.

Create Space and Time for Unhurried Time with God

It is consistent for our character as human beings, that even in our effort to please God by our works, we would miss out on actually spending time with him. God does not want our busy and hurried ministry activities that are devoid of time with him. We can run ourselves through the mail with everything we want to do for God, and at the same time, we can fail to spend time with God. Jesus would often retreat, and spend time by himself with the father. He did not do this to make up for lost time after doing ministry. He did this so that he would be fueled and strengthened to do the work of ministry. We should do the same.

Pay Attention to what you are Paying Attention to

When we have too much on our plate, we tend to lose focus on the things that are important. As a result, we struggle to pay attention to the things that matter most. Ask yourself, “what pulls my attention away?” If work interferes and overwhelms you even when you’re around your family, it helps to try and let it go and put your full focus on your family. Sometimes this has to do with where our priorities lie. Healthy leaders will keep their focus strong and their priorities intact. Different distractions can get in the way of the focus right in front of us, such as our phone or social media. Thankfully, we have tools like Screen Time and Do Not Disturb that can help us unplug and focus.

Let Rest Restore You

One of the biggest struggle for ministry leaders is finding out how to rest well. Resting is not always sitting down and doing nothing. We are all created differently, and find rest in different things. For some, it’s a hobby or activity. For some others, it’s spending time with our family. If we operate in panic mode, always busy with the next project, we will find it difficult to rest, even if we have downtime. Finding rest is one of the most important things we can do as ministry leaders. You know that you are well-rested when you look forward to going back to work, but if you dread your ministry, you may not be rested enough.

Manage Your Calendar Well

We are very forgetful. If I don’t put things down in my calendar, I can quickly forget. Even if it’s important! One of the best tools you can use is Google calendar or something similar. Every time I create a task, I get reminders throughout the day, both through my phone and email. Not all pastors or leaders have the privilege of having a secretary that manages calendar dates. Make sure when you work with your calendar you schedule time to rest, and schedule time for people who are close to you. As ministry leaders, we should be excellent stewards of our time, so schedule out your calendar with wisdom and consistency.

Engage with Self-Care instead of Self-Medication

Self-care is different than self- medication. When we self-medicate, we look for joy and rest in things that will not satisfy. Self-medication is the reason for sin in our lives. Each and every one of us has stress in this life. We all have busy lives. But self- care means that we choose to find that rest and joy in healthy things. For some, self-care is opening up our Bible and journal and spending time in prayer. For others, self-care is going to the gym and getting a good workout in as a way to relieve stress. Self-medication is like covering up a wound with a Band-Aid, but not using any antibiotic ointment to help heal the wound. Self-care should lead us to a place where we are spiritually, emotionally, and mentally healthier.

Have a Weekly Sabbath

When God rested on the seventh day, he set a pattern and a model for us to also rest. The principle that he is teaching is important: we should rest from our work.
If we aren’t taking a day to replenish and rest, we will become quickly exhausted, and wear out in this ministry. Taking a Sabbath means taking a day or a significant amount of time to restore your soul. And since God created rest and modeled rest, he will give us the strength to rest when we need.

Let your Time with God Embolden you with Courage

In Psalm 23, David says that he would fear no evil, for God’s rod and staff comforted him. When we are close to the Lord, he gives us great confidence and courage. It’s easy to fall into a habit of meeting with God without meeting with God. In other words, we sit down to do a quiet time or have some prayer time, but we are on auto-pilot. We may be talking to God, but God isn’t talking to us. Our time with God can begin to feel like a ritual. I pray that every day when I spend time with God, I would get up encouraged, strengthened, and emboldened with courage. If I get up from my time with God still worried, still angry, still fearful, then I most likely did not spend enough time with God.

Receive the Voice of God’s Blessing

At the end of psalm 23, David recognized that it was God‘s blessings that were being poured out on him. He acknowledged that his cup ran over, and he would look forward to dwelling in the house of the Lord forever. Do you feel unworthy? Do you feel like ministry cannot afford you any blessings from God? My friend, God is pleased with your efforts. If he chooses to bless you for the work you are doing, receive that blessing with joy and gladness. Thank him. And if someone else blesses you, receive it with joy and gladness. While you may feel undeserving, to someone else, that blessing may seem well deserved. Keep on serving, keep on working, and keep on putting your heart into this ministry.

I highly recommend Lance Witt’s book Replenish, and a newer book by Brian Croft called The Pastor’s Soul. If you need pastoral retreat, there are several different ministries. But if you live anywhere in the panhandle, I have some great friends of a ministry called Promised Land Retreat. Don’t ever hesitate to reach out to our team at the Replant Bootcamp for encouragement and help as you minister for the glory of God.

Three Healthy Habits for Replanters

Written on January 2, 2023.

As I type this, we are in the weird in-between of Christmas and the New Year. The craziness of Christmas is over, the gifts have been opened, the boxes thrown away, and for the industrious among us, maybe the Christmas decorations have even been put back in the attic for another 11 months. No one is sure what day it is and we’ve finished the leftovers and Christmas candy at an unhealthy rate. But the New Year lingers just around the corner, ready for our resolutions and our wishes for the coming year.

Over 35% of Americans make resolutions for the new year– they want to travel more, or budget better, renovate their house, or declutter it. But the most common New Year’s Resolution by far is to exercise more. Almost half (48%) of Americans make this their goal each January. In fact, general health-related resolutions cover the top 3 of all resolutions, and a Swiss study found that 70% of all resolutions relate to physical health, whether through more exercise, healthier eating habits, or losing weight.

As replanters, we would be smart to set some goals for our church and for our spiritual health this year, as well. In Episode 132, the Replant Bootcamp guys, along with Walker Armstrong, discussed some of the ways replanters can stay healthy– spiritually, mentally, physically, and even financially.

Don’t Pastor Alone

We have never done well alone. In Genesis 2:18, God himself declares this truth and so creates Eve as a helpmate for Adam. And yet, even as they study the Bible and believe the Word of God to be true, many pastors will attempt to pastor alone. But we must make an intentional effort not to pastor in private.

When pastors shrug off the benefits of a network of fellow pastors, they open themselves up to potential destruction. They are bypassing accountability among friends, possibly allowing for sin to creep into their isolation, and they are in danger of making decisions in a vacuum, resulting in a vision that lacks input and perspective.

This year, there may be struggles ahead for you that you can’t see yet– struggles for which only another pastor can offer insight and advice. Your best goal for this year is to form a network of pastors whom you respect and trust and make a habit to meet with them regularly. A great place to find them is your local association. If your association isn’t set up for that, call a few in your area and ask them to begin meeting with you. You might even want to use that time to check off the next resolution.

Read a Book (or 12)

The obvious goal here is to read the Bible more– many of your congregation members will have this goal, as well. And while of course I encourage you to truly spend time in the Word (not just for sermon prep), I am not referring to the Bible for this specific resolution.

There are so many resources out there for replant pastors– so many books written by men who have walked this same road and have faced what you face. Those pastors and authors may not be available for regular meetings the way your association brothers in Christ are. You don’t have the same access to a pastor across the country as you would a pastor across town. But good news! They’ve written their advice and insight down and it’s always available!

I love reading and often have multiple books on my nightstand that I am reading or plan to read. But I know not everyone is a reader. My husband was not a reader. He didn’t enjoy it, and he struggled to find books that kept his attention. His solution? Audio books. He now listens to them on his commute or while he works out. He chose to make a habit of listening to the wisdom of others in a way that works for him.

Make a commitment to read at least one book on Replanting per month and glean from those men who have gone before you. Their advice is invaluable and will only make you better. (We just happen to have a list of resources that would assist you in meeting this goal.)

Refresh Your Spirit

Replanting is hard work. (If someone told you it was easy, they lied and you need to encourage them to repent in Jesus’ name.) You will get tired. You will get discouraged. There will be days where you will be ready to give in and give up. But if you set the goal now to intentionally refresh your spirit at various times through the year, you will be able to hang on.

One of the best ways to refresh your spirit is through the various conferences, summits, and gatherings offered to replant pastors throughout the year. Sometimes pastors don’t make time for these because they don’t see the value in them. But let me tell you, there is nothing more encouraging to your spirit as sitting in a room with other replant pastors and knowing that no matter how you feel or what you’re going through, you are not alone.

Another way to refresh your spirit is through physical exercise. (I know, this isn’t supposed to be about those resolutions but hear me out!) Even something as small as a daily walk can benefit your muscular, nervous, and cardiovascular systems. But did you know it also releases endorphins that improve your mood, sharpen your mental focus, and help you get better sleep?

Refreshing your spirit is also assisted by pursuing hobbies that interest and engage you. Take time to find something that isn’t related to your job but brings you satisfaction and joy. When we carve out time to engage our brains and our hearts into something we love, we are better equipped for the mundane everyday tasks that weigh us down.

Don’t be a Quitter

We all start January 1st with great intentions. But of all the millions of people setting their goals for the new year, only 9% will successfully achieve those goals by December 31st of the same year. In fact, so many people quit by the second Friday in January that it’s now nationally recognized as “Quitters Day.” (This year, it’s January 13th.)

But if we want to stay healthy this year as replanters, we must be like the 9%, who look back in December and can say, “Man, I’m a lot further ahead than I was last year!” We must be intentional about staying healthy in every facet of our lives. We must make habits, not mere resolutions.

Let’s look ahead with a renewed purpose and plan toward the future, knowing that our resolutions today will be our accomplishments tomorrow.

The Christmas Story Never Gets Old

Written on December 23, 2022.

Has Christmas Become Boring for you?

There is a certain creativity that many pastors and leaders have in their churches. God uses our skills and abilities to cultivate new life in our congregations. The desire for normalcy can sometimes be overshadowed by new and innovative ideas. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re trying to find something “new” and “creative” about the Christmas story as you prepare to preach Sunday, I have a word of encouragement for you: just preach the Christmas Story.

No matter how long you’ve been in ministry, you’ve probably studied it sideways, gleaning new information each time. You’ve exegeted Matthew 1-2, Luke 1-2, John 1:1-14, the fulfillment of prophecies in Isaiah and Micah, and probably some others. You’ve preached it from the shepherd’s perspective, Mary’s perspective, the angel’s perspective, and maybe even the donkey’s perspective. You’ve focused on characters like Zechariah and Simeon. You’ve pulled out historical context, made parallels to the wise men’s gifts, and had several different titles over the years. You have preached on different biblical topics we find in the story: worship, promises, the gifts, etc.

You may be tempted to think outside the box: “What can I preach this year that my congregation has NEVER heard before?” But the danger in our creativity is when we feel like the Christmas story has “gotten old.” Much of your congregation has been well versed in the Christmas story from scripture, hymns, and culture during this season. So, for fear of boredom, we might think, “I’m going to do something totally new this year.”

Here is my encouragement to you, dear friend. Don’t let your fear of boredom keep you from seeing the simple miracle of Christmas that never gets old: The Messiah was born of a virgin in a lowly manger in Bethlehem, in fulfillment of age-old prophecies, making salvation possible for all people. There are several aspects of the Christmas story that give fresh beauty to God’s word in light of the gospel.

The Miracle: A virgin carried Jesus to full term and gave birth to him.

This is simply incredible! Biology always fascinated me as a student in school. When we think about the way our bodies reproduce through sexual intercourse, and the miracle of life that develops for 9 months in a protective encasing in the mother’s womb, it all starts with the meeting of sperm and egg. Miraculously, this did not happen with Mary. Jesus truly was the son of God, and Mary was a pure vessel that God miraculously and graciously used to carry the Messiah.

The virgin birth made possible the salvation of mankind. Without the virgin birth, Jesus would not have been sinless, he would have been born into a sinful nature like the rest of the world. Without Jesus’ being sinless, he could have never died a sacrificial death on the cross. Without his sacrificial death, he couldn’t have provided salvation to all who would trust in him. The virgin birth teaches us to trust in God, because it was no human initiative that brought Jesus. It was a work of God alone.

The Fulfillment of Prophecies: God is Forever Faithful.

There are hundreds of prophecies that point to the Lord Jesus Christ. Many of these are in relation to the Christmas story. Here are just a few that were fulfilled: the manner of his birth, the location of his birth, his name, the meaning of his name, the role of Mary, the blessing he would bring to Abraham’s descendants (and the earth), his genealogy and descendants, the role of John as a companion and messenger, and even allusions to Herod and the wise magi.

The fulfillment of these prophecies hundreds of years before Jesus’ birth show us that God’s hand was guiding and leading this entire narrative for His great glory! It also proves to us that God is reliable, He is trustworthy, and He is faithful.

The Best Thing about Jesus’ Birth: God with Us.

Here is one of the most beautiful truths we find in scripture. God did not create us and then step back to watch creation unfold and the world disperse into chaos. At first, He partook in His creation by leading us, guiding us, speaking to us in shadows and images. But when the gospels open up, we find, in my opinion, the best thing about Jesus’ birth: God came to be with us.

He did not speak to his people from a voice from heaven, but in the voice of a human. Jesus left heaven to enter our realm and dwell among us. He grew up, walked, and lived just as we did, yet without sin. Jesus was able to sympathize with our weaknesses by living life in the likeness of human flesh. The angel told Mary that one of the names of Jesus would be Immanuel, which means “God with us.”

No other religion, no other “god,” or religious leader can say the same. The difference between Christianity and every other religion in the world is the deep love that God had for us, that He did not leave us alone to suffer, but He came and dwelt among us so that we could have a restored relationship with Him: not from any righteous works we perform, but by the one righteous act that Jesus performed.

If you are wondering what to preach, how to lead during this Christmas season, or trying to come up with something “new” and “exciting,” take a moment. Pause. Reflect on this truth: the Christmas Story NEVER gets old. Let’s not forget the wonder of this season and all that it means.

The Battle for Church Health

Written on December 16, 2022.

The Joyful Toil

As a Pastor or Leader, there is nothing you want more than for your church to be a healthy church. To that end, you strive with the love of Christ, doing all you can in your church for the glory of God. The words of Paul in Colossians echo in your life and ministry:

“Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.” Colossians 1:28-29

In a perfect world, following Christ would be effortless. We would run this race with no hindrance, nothing trapping our feet, and no obstacle in our way. However, we live in a world that is marred and broken in sin, and as a result, we have countless obstacles. Sometimes those obstacles have to do with brokenness in our world. But most of the time, the “obstacles” that stand in the way to church health happen to be sinful behavior in people.

Please hear me, I am not calling people obstacles, but the sinful behavior that shows itself in sinful people.

Major Obstacles to Church Health

Hebrews 11 describes the great heroes of the faith that we hold as those who have lived in obedience to God, despite their flaws and shortcomings. These heroes we read about in the Old Testament are meant to be a great encouragement to us. Even though they weren’t always quickly obedient to the Lord, they give us a great example to follow. When chapter 12 opens up, we see the empowering reason for the author’s faith lesson:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith…” (Hebrews 12:1-2a)

Like the author is describing, we all have this race that is set before us, and God has called us for his glory to be about his great Kingdom work! Now, it takes great faith to do the work of ministry. Not only as a replanter or revitalizer, but also as a pastor or leader of a church. And we all face major obstacles in our path to doing the work that God is calling us to do. The context of Hebrews 12 is talking about personal sin in our lives. I cannot stress the importance of personal holiness in the life of a pastor…but this is a different topic for another day.

Taking this text seriously means approaching, identifying, and intentionally removing the barriers (sinful behavior) that stands in the way in order to adequately run with endurance.

There are different ways that sin manifests itself in people when it comes to church life. So what are some of the obstacles that we face?

Sin Entangles – Sinners Frustrate

We all have likely dealt with those involved with our churches that, no matter what, always seem to push back against your vision. Maybe you want to introduce some new worship music, or leave the offering plate at the back door instead of passing it around, or maybe it’s a major change. Maybe you’re helping a church reevaluate their ministry philosophy and give them outreach ideas. And there’s that pushback again.

“We’ve never done it this way before. It will cost way too much money. I don’t think you’ll get the response that you think you will.”

You wish you could say, “Just stop it! How are we ever going to do anything different if we can’t even do the simple things?”

But there is wisdom in how to handle those conversations. First, we must ask why. Why are there some who frustrate plans and seem to…stand in the way?

Being Fixed on the Past

Some are so fixed on the past, they can’t see any opportunity for the future. For some, the “good ole days,” are the days that hold preeminence. Every church has fruitful seasons and fruitless seasons. While it might be helpful to reminisce on past events or programs, they cannot be the rubric by which your church conducts itself. And church members need to know this. They need to know that just because it worked in the past, doesn’t mean it will absolutely work presently. Those who are fixed on the past will have trouble accepting anything new.

Losing Touch with the Community

This happens when a church is inwardly-focused for a prolonged amount of time. The surrounding community is changing, but the church has not changed with them or sought to meet needs. So, when the community doesn’t respond the way it once did, church members sometimes begin blaming the community or resenting it. One of the first things I do when we start working with a church is show them the demographics. As boring as that sounds, it serves as a shocker, something to open the eyes of the congregation. “We have…HOW many people living in our community? Our population has increased by how much? We have how many languages represented around our church?” Our world is changing, our communities are changing, and we are changing. In an effort to reach people, sometimes we must change our ministry strategies to reach them.

Selfish Financial Motives

Some members might push back because the church has more of a ownership culture than a stewardship culture. Members might think that since they gave money to the church, they should have authority over everything done. As a result, you’ll receive pushback from anything you do that uses the church’s resources. One of the measuring rods you can see with this mentality is the budget line items and percentages on the church’s budget report. Are they inwardly focused with their spending or outwardly focused? It may take some prolonged Bible teaching on stewardship and reliance on the Spirit of God just to get people to change their minds.

I wish I could say these were the only obstacles, but here are some more that you might deal with. Blaming the pastor for every problem, valuing preferences and comfortability instead of mission, lack of prayer and spiritual health, inability to pass on leadership, over-abundance of preferential activities, staled vision, financial distress, lack of fellowship and love, and simply put, sabotage. Some will not like you simply because you are…you.

But Remember This

There may be helpful tactics to dealing with each one of these obstacles, but we need to be reminded of a few things.

People are sinful. Did you expect this would be easy? Take some relief in the fact that you are not the only one to deal with difficult people, they are not the first and they will likely not be your last. We all have sin, and have all been affected in our demeanor and actions.
This is primarily a spiritual battle. The enemy would love to get his foot into the door of your church. Don’t let anger, bitterness, and resentment keep you from compassion and grace. For some, being firm and warning is more natural. But before you speak to them, pray for them. This is a spiritual battle more than a physical one.
You can engage in church discipline, if needed. Don’t hesitate to be strong and stand on your convictions, especially when you have firm biblical grounds to stand on. Commitment to the Word is more important than minimizing conflict.
Don’t take it personally. As church members frustrate your plans, remember that it is not all about you. They may be fine with you. It’s the change and the leadership you’re trying to enact that conflicts with the past for the previous reasons. When you face resistance, know that they would resist another man in a different position, with the same motive. Replanters and Revitalizers should have some thick skin in dealing with this type of opposition.

In the podcast, Jimbo and Bob mentioned 3 B’s to keep in mind: Bible, Bylaws, and Buddies.

Bible: Remember that the word of God is our ultimate source of authority. In every idea you pitch, ministry you introduce, or design you employ, use some scripture as a basis. Opposing members might give a second-thought to your ideas if they knew they come from biblical roots.

Bylaws: When Baptists fight, the Bylaws win. Each church should have some governing documents that show how ideas are opposed and decisions are made. You can always refer back to a church constitution and bylaws if there is an irreconcilable difference.

Lastly, Buddies: It’s so difficult to do this type of ministry alone. As a pastor or leader, you need those around you, those in your corner, to help encourage you in this ministry. Don’t forget that you need friends to support you in this journey. Check out this archived podcast for more information.

As I was putting together a list of books on describing the reasons for a declining church, there were a few extremely helpful books that came to play. Here they are: Autopsy of a Deceased Church, Reclaiming Glory, and Reclaimed Church. If you think your church is in danger of closing, take this church health assessment. This self-assessment is meant to help assist you in determining the current state of your local church. Another way to get started is by taking an introductory course that will help anyone understand what church replanting is and how it provides hope for dying churches.

The Balancing Act: How to Juggle Ministry and Family

Written on December 12, 2022.

Is it possible to balance the demands of our ministry and the needs of our family? How can we walk the tightrope between being “on-call” for our congregation’s needs and getting rest to be able to meet those needs? If we work 60+ hour weeks, what is left to give our family?

Bryan Dyson, the former CEO of Coca-Cola, once gave a commencement speech in which he made this analogy:

“Imagine life as a game in which you juggle some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends, and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that ‘work’ is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

In my own life, I have labeled the balls somewhat differently, but I certainly agree with and embrace the analogy.

Replant pastors are juggling so many balls, it may feel nearly impossible to label which ones are glass and which are rubber. But those labels may reveal the difference between a successful juggling act and a floor full of broken glass.

Struggling with Juggling

While identifying the balls can be helpful, most can agree the hardest part of juggling isn’t knowing the type of balls in the air. It’s keeping them all in the air. While you can drop some of them, the show is certainly more successful if you can keep them going.

As pastors, there is often a feeling of immediacy to every demand– it can all feel like there is an emergency around every corner. “I have to help this person, be at that hospital, take care of this facility need, get that bill paid, go to this event, get to that game…” The list is endless. And that’s just it– there is always something else to do!

So how do pastors learn how to juggle?

It’s All About the Timing

On Episode 116 of the podcast, JimBob discussed the answer to this very question and came up with eight ways to balance family and ministry.

Attend your children’s events. No matter what your child is interested in, whether it be theater, a sporting event, or debate club, your attendance at their event is important to them. You need to prioritize attending these events. They will always remember looking in the stands or in the audience and seeing their biggest fan out there rooting for them.
Keep dating your wife. Date night doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to be a lavish dinner at a swanky steakhouse. It can be just taking a drive to a local park for lunch while the kids are in school and having a picnic of McDonald’s cheeseburgers. It can be breakfast at a local diner on a Saturday morning. If you have small kids, find friends who have kids at similar ages and trade weekends with each other. They watch your kids one weekend, you return the favor the next. The important thing isn’t where you go or what you do– it’s that you take time to do it.
Speaking of your wife, remember that the church hired YOU. Your wife is like any other church member. She should be able to choose where to serve in the church that benefits her God-given talents and abilities. Your wife is not called to be every ministry’s lead person. Rest assured, if you push her to be involved in everything, you will have a burnt out support partner and you will both suffer because of it.
Remember to keep a Sabbath– and it won’t be Sunday. Sunday is a work day for pastors. You have to be diligent about creating a Sabbath on another day of the week, a day where you are off duty and can truly find rest.
Take a vacation! You need a couple of weeks AT MINIMUM to recharge and reset from church life. Trust that God has everything under control and allow your fellow ministry leaders to handle everything while you are gone. Be diligent about setting a boundary for your time off with your family.
Have a rhythm to your time with your family. Carve out specific times that are solely for your family. Be very careful not to let anything interfere with that. Your family will know that the specific family time is important to you and they will feel honored that you have set it aside for them.
Find time to do something physical. Much of the work of pastoring and shepherding is mental and emotional. Your brain and your spirit are occupied in this work 100% of the time. You need to balance that with physical activity that lets your brain rest while your hands work. Some pastors find this time at the gym, others find home improvement projects helpful. Anything that allows you to rest your mind but engage your physical body.
Most importantly, be PRESENT. Don’t just be “there,” be fully present and engaged when you are with your family. If you need to turn off notifications for that time, or set your phone aside, do it. There is a myth out there that we multitask. We can’t. Our brain actually has to stop and start each task, which takes MORE time, not less. You cannot be present with your family and also present with your phone and your social media. You need to choose one– and by this time, you should realize it should be your family.

Sometimes, You Gotta Drop the Ball

The truth is, there will be times in ministry when you have to drop the balls. You aren’t Superman, but more than that, you aren’t God. You can’t juggle the needs of your entire congregation, your facility, your other job (if you have one), your community, and your family without occasionally needing to put down everything and focus on just carrying the very fragile, very important glass ball until you are ready to start juggling again.

Church will always take as much as you are willing to give. Church work can be a ravenous beast, and you can never feed it “enough.” There will always be work that needs to be done and ministry that needs to be led. But there are very rarely true emergencies that require your immediate attention, even though it may feel like it. (Marriages don’t end at 11:30 pm when they finally call you for help– that marriage will last until tomorrow when you can get to them.) You must be willing to prioritize your time and set boundaries that allow you to keep your family- and your sanity- intact.

Stewardship Matters

Written on December 9, 2022.

MINE!

Is sinful nature difficult to identify? Are we really born into sin? Perhaps if you grew up on an island completely shut off from the rest of society, you might be blind to the idea of a sinful nature. We tend to identify it in other people before seeing it in ourselves, because our pride keeps us from believing that we could possibly be full of sin (ironic).

But anyone who’s had kids can identify this pretty quickly. I have a two year old toddler at home who is soaking in all the words right now. One that has become his favorite is “Mine!” When he first started shouting this word, I began to think: did I teach him this? Did his mom teach him this? We may have taught him the words “mine” and “yours,” but we certainly did not teach him that everything he touches is…”MINE!”

Sinful nature: we have a natural inclination to sin; given the choice to do God’s will or our own, we will naturally choose our own way over God’s. We inherited this sin nature from the first man and woman, and it makes us naturally rebellious to God. Consider Romans 5:12, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.”

This sin nature was warned to us, and unfortunately given to us, as a fulfillment of what God told Adam in the garden: Genesis 2:17, “but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” The sin of Adam caused spiritual, physical, and relational death to be brought into the world.

The most prominent way this sinful nature presents itself is in the form of pride. “Everything is MINE,” the toddler says. But unfortunately, we don’t grow out of this thinking: we still think everything belongs to us.

YOURS!

The topic of Stewardship is extremely important to the Christian life. It’s meant to be a guiding principle to everything we do for God’s glory. But before we seek to steward anything, we must be reminded that everything we have belongs to God. I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 4:7, “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”

The Bible clearly tells us that, “The Earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein” (Psalm 24:1). James would tell us this: “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:16-17).

Mike Ayers, in Stewardship, Not Ownership, says the following:

“When we believe that the things we possess are actually ours or exist because of us, they begin to control and define us rather than the other way around. Consequently, our security and identity becomes rooted in them. And then, we are unable to separate ourselves from them, or release them, or trust God with them because to do so would mean to lose ourselves. This was never God’s intention for the gifts He gives His creation.”

We see stewardship all the way back into the creation account, where God gave Adam the responsibility to care for creation by working and tending to the garden (Gen. 2:15). We are called to steward what God has given us for his glory, knowing that everything we have is His.

Stewardship as a Ministry Leader

So many churches have struggles in decision-making, financial expenditures, and even accomplishing goals because they have an ownership culture, not a stewardship culture. For example, when re-thinking church renovations like furniture, paint, and carpet, it can be hard to let go, because we become attached to the things we spend our money on. We think it belongs to us. When re-evaluating a ministry event or class, it can be difficult to let go, because sister Susan started it; it belongs to her. But does it?

In order for us to change the thinking of our church members, we must be modeling it ourselves first. For example, if we are trying to encourage church members to think biblically about stewardship, but we have a difficulty letting go of that special, antique pulpit, we likely won’t get anywhere. Being a leader means leading by example, especially when it comes to stewardship.

In Ep. 168 of the podcast, Jimbo used the biblical example of Matthew 25:14-30: The parable of the talents. In this story, each servant received a different amount of property. Two of the servants were grateful with what they were given, they went and did what they could for the Master and invested. However, one of the servants was ungrateful, having received only one talent. Out of fear of losing what belonged to the Master, he went out and hid it in a field. Afterwards, the servant was scolded for his unwillingness to do what was asked of him, with what he had been given.

The point that Jesus was driving home in this context, was that we need to be prepared for his return by being good stewards of what he’s entrusted to us. The story of the talents is a good reminder for us not to fall into the trap of comparison. Some were given a different measure of talents, they still had the same responsibility. It does not matter what size church you have, how many resources you have, or how many people are left on your membership roll, God wants you to steward it well for his glory.

Faith, Fear, or Frustration

The parable of the talents teaches us that the first two servants acted out of faith. They knew who their master was. They took joy in their small part of managing what had been given to them, so they sought to make much of it for his pleasure. However, the third servant acted out of fear and frustration. He was fearful for how his Master would react (showing that he really did not know his Master) and he was frustrated that he didn’t get as much as the other two.

When we think about the resources we have to work with, are you doing the work of ministry out of fear or frustration? It’s so easy to get into a mindset of comparison where we don’t have as much as another larger church in town, but we must see the bigger picture. It takes every church working together to reach our communities for Christ.

This is why I love working at a Baptist Association; we encourage church partnerships. Would it be easy for our smaller churches to get jealous of the larger church in town? Yes, but we must realize that every church has its own DNA, and they all reach people for Christ in different ways. Therefore, we encourage church partnerships where we can for the glory of God.

It’s the same in a Replant or Revitalization. Never fail to thank God for the blessing of having the opportunity to do ministry. God knows what He is doing. His desire is not for you to take a prideful ownership of what he’s given you – He desires that you would be found faithful in the small things. We must realize that He’s given us this ministry to steward it and glorify Him above all things.

There are a plethora of resources on the topic of Stewardship, but here are a few I like: Kingdom Stewardship, Stewardship: A Christian Duty, and Stewardship: Discovering Godly Ambition for Your Life. If you think your church is in danger of closing, take this church health assessment. This self-assessment is meant to help assist you in determining the current state of your local church. Another way to get started is by taking an introductory course that will help anyone understand what church replanting is and how it provides hope for dying churches.

You’re a Replanter– Now What?

Written on December 5, 2022.

If you’ve been interested in replanting for even a short amount of time, you’ve most likely heard these statistics:

“Seven out of ten churches are either plateaued or declining.” (Mark Clifton, Reclaiming Glory)
A recent Gallup poll states there has been a 10 point drop in attendance from the previous decade.
45% of American adults say they attend religious services, an all-time low, despite huge growth in the overall population.

Based on these statistics alone, there is a solid chance that graduates from seminary today are far more likely to be called to pastor a replant than a successful, healthy church. They are much more likely to need to be able to meet the needs of their congregation while also balancing the specific needs of their community and their facilities. Many of them will be bi-vocational, requiring them to have another career path in addition to ministry. And because replants are typically lacking in resources, they may find themselves leading multiple types of ministries with a shoestring budget.

Thankfully, our seminaries are realizing this reality and are preparing their graduates for life after the degree with classes, books, and cohorts on Replanting and Revitalization.

Unfortunately that wasn’t the case for us.

“Best Start Believin’ in Ghost Stories, Ms. Turner– You’re in One.”

Like Elizabeth Swann in Pirates of the Caribbean, I was in the story of a replant before I even knew the term “replant.” We had been at our church for 10 years in youth ministry before my husband was hired as the Senior Pastor. We knew how to grow a “successful” youth ministry. But in those ten years, we realized that numbers didn’t necessarily equal health, and we witnessed the need for a church that was wholly devoted to disciple-making and for the church to invest in parents, equipping them to be their children’s primary disciple maker.

We were in the midst of changing our youth ministry strategy when the Senior Pastor was called to another church. My husband served as the interim pastor while we evaluated the church’s condition. By the time he was elected as the Senior Pastor, we had identified a steady declines in Sunday morning attendance, in the church annual budget and giving, and in the overall facilities. For the first two years, we were scooping buckets of water from a ship that seemed intent on sinking. Our ministries were failing to attract anyone, and our church was an eyesore instead of a lighthouse in the community. The parking lot was rutted with weeds and broken asphalt and the children’s area looked more like the Island of Misfit Toys than a place of security and joy. Our budget was misaligned– there was money in the bank, but limits on how it could be used and many, many areas that desperately needed it. We began to address the needs of our church and try to bring this dying church back to life. But by the time we heard the term and started seeing ourselves as “replanters,” we were already in deep, treading water to stay afloat.

Back to the Basics

I wish we had known then what we now know. The first few years of any replant are hard, but they don’t have to be complicated. On one of the very first episodes of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, JimBob spoke with a replant pastor about the basic first steps every pastor should take in a replant. If you’re in your “rookie” years of replanting, allow me to share a few of those tips that would have helped us if we had known them! And if you’re a seasoned replanter, allow this to remind you of the basics of replanting.

Visit Everyone in the Church
- Make pastoral visits a high priority in your first year to get to know everyone in the congregation. Get an understanding of where they are spiritually, hear stories of the church and their lives. You need to know the sheep in order to shepherd the sheep.
Preach the Gospel
- This is not just about having an invitation at the end of each sermon. This is about aligning everything the church does with the gospel. We recommend ‘Gospel Driven Church‘ by Jared Wilson as a great resource on this topic.
Reach Out to the Community
- Get to know your community. Build relationships with people in the community. Make a difference in the community. Effective replant pastors work hard to move their churches to have a missional focus. Remember, you cannot reach a community you resent– you must build love for the community into your DNA as a church.
Find Some Men to Disciple
- In Reclaiming Glory, Mark Clifton defines success in replanting as a church that is making disciples that makes disciples that make the community noticeably better. The young men in your church need you to disciple them so that they can serve and fulfill their God-ordained callings. (This recent blog post by Caleb Duncan speaks to the need for discipling others as a major part of replanting.)
Evaluate the Condition of Your Church
- When you walk into a dying church there are often a lot of things that need to change, and you can’t change them all at once. Start evaluating and making a private list in your prayer journal. Take the initiative to help the church move forward as an organization. Be patient as you move toward change, but keep moving forward.
Don’t Forget to Celebrate
- As mentioned in the last point, you need to evaluate. But be careful not to let this give you a negative outlook. Find things to celebrate and find joy in celebration. Lead with celebration and encouragement.
Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
- Have fun! The weight of it all can make you feel like everything is make or break. The church you are pastoring has likely been in decline for a long time – one bad Sunday under your watch won’t kill it, trust us!
Find Some Friends!
- DO NOT WALK THIS ROAD ALONE! Replanting is gritty and glorious work. There will be plenty of discouragement; work to build some relationships with people who are encouragers. Find other pastors who are farther along than you to walk this road with you. This is one of the biggest things that helped us survive our first five years. (See these past blog posts on the necessity of encouragement and friendship in ministry.)

Our rookie years were definitely some of the hardest we’ve ever had in ministry. They were followed by a year or two that was EVEN HARDER. We walked through moral failures in some of our leadership, a scandal that had far reaching effects on our community, and at one point even had to deal with threats of violence against my husband and our family. But through every challenge and every obstacle, God has been faithful. We may not have known we were in a replant, but God did– and He knew exactly how to bring our church back to life. After all, He was the one who planted it initially. All we did was replant.

Stages in a Replant: Harvesting

Written on December 2, 2022.

What Comes Next?

Looking back at your time in ministry, if you’ve worked through the 4 stages of a Replant, here are some things that you’ve been doing.

You’ve plowed the ground by continual prayer and preaching of the gospel.
You’ve planted gospel seeds by infusing the gospel into every ministry, every sermon/teaching, every member you have.
You’ve watered those seeds by focusing on intentional discipleship in your congregation and the growth of your people.
You’ve witnessed how God is working through growth: whether that be through the spiritual growth of your congregation or the physical growth of new people coming through community engagement.

This is it. You’re doing the work of ministry. It’s effective. But while there are many moving pieces included with all of this work, there is one thing that we should be careful not to forget: just as disciples should be making disciples, leaders should be developing leaders.

The Necessity of Leadership Development

Our team has developed a 5th stage of a Replant due to how crucial it is for the future of your church: Harvesting. What is Harvesting? In Episode 167 of the podcast, we said that harvesting is the process of identifying, training, and utilizing leaders from your congregation to assist and carry on the work of the ministry. As spiritual growth occurs, leaders are actively engaged in intentionally discipling and raising up new leaders. The term “Harvesting” could be compared to gathering the crop together and putting it to use right away.

As leaders ourselves, we cannot neglect the work of developing new leaders to carry on the work of the ministry. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement: “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” John Maxwell says, “When you raise up and train leaders, you impact yourself, your organization (church), the people you develop, and all the people their lives touch.” If we put that statement in the setting of a local church, here’s what we would say:

When you, as a pastor, raise up leaders in your congregation, you impact yourself, your church structure, your congregants, and all the people who your congregants will encounter.

Many Problems Stem from Lack of Leadership

One of the most common requests for pastors and leaders is their need for more leaders, more workers, more servants, more helpers. As a Replant or Revitalization Pastor, you may do everything you can possibly do alone, but you’ll fall apart in the process. You need people to pick up the baton when you need a break or when you leave. You also need people in the everyday work of ministry who can lead in your weak areas. Leaders are not perfect and we are not superman. We need others who can lead alongside us.

Here are some scenarios: You fall ill. You move on to the next assignment the Lord has for you. You pass away. You take a leave of absence. Whatever the case is, think about this: what happens to all the plowing, planting, watering, and growing that has happened? If leaders are not in place to continue that work, the church can fall back into the same place they were. Our ultimate goal is not to build our own kingdom, but God’s kingdom. That’s why we must develop leaders from the congregation. If we aren’t identifying and raising up leaders to carry on, we are missing the joy of a multiplying congregation and the blessing of obedience.

Practical Ways to Identify and Develop Leaders:

Keep your eyes always open — watch and see how people interact with you and with others. Who are the people that your church members talk about on a regular basis? Who do people go to for advice and biblical questions? Lou Holtz, former Notre Dame football coach, once said, “You’ve got to have good athletes to win, I don’t care who the coach is.” Our work looks a little bit differently than recruiting college football athletes, but we must also keep our eyes open to see who could be developed as a leader. A leader is not always an extrovert. Many personality traits are helpful for different situations. While I can’t give an exhaustive list here, see the last paragraph for a list of resources and articles on the character traits of a leader.
Spend time personally with those individuals. Provide opportunities where you can watch and see how they lead. Though some people have natural leadership abilities, they may need some training and oversight.
Show them the way you do ministry and model an example for them to follow. Deliver knowledge and coaching to them. Use a resource to work through with them. Provide them with the space to ask questions and be intentional in the process. The three ways that leaders are developed are through experience, knowledge, and coaching (not necessarily in that order).
Delegate responsibility to them with oversight. Watch them lead – with a caveat. Bob recommended in the recent podcast to wait until you have a disagreement or conflict resolution with the person. If you are unable to come to a resolution with someone you are trying to develop, it may be time to slow down and give some more training.

The Biblical Rationale:

Apollos

To use the example of Apollos in Acts 18:24-28, Apollos was instructed in the way of the Lord. He already had some background being trained as a leader…but Apollos’ theology was not complete. He was well studied in the scriptures, but he only knew the Baptism of John. Apollos was probably teaching people how to repent and turn from their sin, but he was missing the other side of repentance: faith in Christ Jesus. But when Priscilla and Aquilla met Apollos, they identified him as a leader, and taught him more accurately. Here are some ways he was a natural leader, and some traits we need to seek out in identifying leaders.

Competent in the Scriptures: Spoke and Taught accurately (v. 24-25)

Fervent in Spirit: speaking boldly (v. 25-26)

Greatly Useful to Ministry: (v. 27)

Jesus’ Inner Circle

Next, we could look at the life of Jesus. Jesus chose 12 disciples to follow him and spent every day with them for three years, discipling and pouring into them. But Jesus intentionally discipled Peter, James and John out of that twelve. The following scriptures show Jesus pulling aside Peter, James, and John to minister to others, to reveal himself to them, and to teach them to do the work of ministry:

Healing of Peter’s mother in law: Mark 1:29-31

Healing of Jairus’ daughter: Mark 5:21-43

Mount of Transfiguration: Mark 9:2

Garden of Gethsemane: Mark 14:32-33

When you read the book of Acts, the only disciples mentioned by name out of the original twelve are Peter, James, and John. They took leadership responsibility. Peter preaches, Peter and John heal a lame beggar, Peter and John are brought before the council, Peter and John were sent to the Samaritans, James – pastor of the church in Jerusalem, is martyred for his faith.

Paul’s development of leaders

Next we could look at the example of Paul, who sought to develop leaders like Titus and Timothy.

2 Timothy 2:1-2, “You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, 2 and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”

Titus 1:5 “This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you”

There are numerous examples in scripture of leaders being developed, but these are just a few that give us the necessity as it relates to the local church.

Final Thoughts:

In his book called, “Designed to Lead,” Eric Geiger argues that the church is the most important place that leadership development can happen. He says:

“Notice that we are NOT saying that the locus of the Church is leadership development, but that the locus of leadership development is the church. Please do not miss the difference. The locus of the Church is and must be Jesus and His finished work for us…The center of the Church is the gospel, but the center of leadership development must be the Church – meaning, that the leaders who will ultimately transform communities and change the world come from the Church.. These leaders carry with them, into all spheres of life and culture, the conviction of people who…have been brought from death to life through Jesus. These leaders are designed to serve others, because they have been first served by Christ. God has designed his people to lead.”

If we truly believe that the purpose of the church is to proclaim the gospel to the world as an assembly of called-out believers, how can we do so if we are not developing leaders within?

For more information, see the following resources on leadership and leadership development: Designed to Lead, Building your Leadership Resume, The 360 Degree Leader, The Marks of a Spiritual Leader, and the Character of Leadership.

Thank you, God, for the Fleas

Written on November 28, 2022.

‘Tis the season for Thankfulness.

As I write this blog post, we have just finished the biggest meal of the year. There are only six of us gathered around our table, but I cook like there will be 20. This year we had four appetizers, three meats, seven sides, and five desserts. It will take several days to finish leftovers, and we will all gain several pounds trying to do so, and we will vow that we hate all of these foods and can’t stand to eat any more of them… until Christmas Day, when we do it all again.

Before anyone is too impressed with me, I will come clean and tell you that I will save up all of my cooking skills for this one day and then turn them off again. For the record, I hate cooking. It stresses me out– the timing of everything, things getting cold while heating up others. Every year I forget the bread until everything else is ready and then have to hold the meal until it’s finished. I worry about having enough dishes and serving spoons, and the thought of DOING those dishes… Yuck. The anxiety is enough to make me go to Cracker Barrel and call it a day. It’s only the lack of leftovers and my family’s protests of that plan that makes me get up at the crack of dawn and start cooking the massive meal. And don’t even get me started on going to someone else’s house– the one (and ONLY) time we did that, my son threw a football in their house and broke the hand painted family portrait hanging above their fireplace. We were ushered out rather quickly after that.

But I digress.

Several years ago, I tried to start a tradition of going around the table and having each person say what they were thankful for. I think I saw a good, Christian family post about it on Facebook and I figured we were a good, Christian family so we should do that, too. Unfortunately, my teenage children were in their peak-sarcasm years and it turned into a game of “See how quickly you can get mom to stop this.” Let me put it this way– I didn’t post their responses on Facebook.

The truth is, sometimes when people start talking about thankfulness and gratitude, I find myself very much like my teenagers were that holiday– surly and sullen, filled with frustration at the things I don’t have and discontent with what I do have. I find it difficult to say what I’m grateful for when I am filled with discouragement.

In last year’s Thanksgiving podcast, Jimbo discussed how a story from Corrie ten Boom’s time in a concentration camp helped to remind him why it’s important to be thankful in all circumstances. You can read the complete story here, but the summary is basically this: Corrie and her sister Betsy discuss how on earth they could possibly live through their time in the concentration camp, a place filled with discouragement and hopelessness. Betsy reminds Corrie that 1 Thessalonians 5:14-21 tells them how to live, especially verse 18: “Give thanks in all circumstances.” So they begin to list the things they are thankful for, including their togetherness, their ability to have their Bible, their close proximity to the other prisoners who were also hearing the Gospel. But then Betsy goes so far as to be thankful for the fleas that are tormenting them day and night. Corrie protests, but Betsy reminds her that it is the fleas which keep the guards away and allow them to read and proclaim the Word of God. Without them, the girls might be punished and separated.

Sometimes I feel like Corrie. Surely God doesn’t expect me to be thankful for the fleas in my life– those tormenting people who seem to have nothing positive to say, that bill that came when the money didn’t, the lack of spiritual (or numerical) growth in our church, the leak in the baptistry that comes on the heels of the leak in the children’s area. Surely when God says, “be thankful in all circumstances,” He doesn’t mean these circumstances. I see people post about being “#blessed” but I find myself wondering why we’re only “blessed” when things are going right– what about those I see who are desperate and hurting– are they blessed? How can we be blessed when everything around us seems to be going wrong? How can I be grateful for the problems I face and the mounting discouragement?

Then the Holy Spirit prods me toward another Scripture: Philippians 4:11. Sure, Philippians 4:13 gets all the glory, but why was Paul able to say that he could do all things through Christ who strengthened him? Because of verse 11. He had learned to be content in all things, in whatever situation he faced. His ability to be content in all things fostered his ability to do his ministry without the confines of frustration and discouragement.

Perhaps you have struggled this year with finding joy this season and feeling grateful for where God has placed you. Pastor, can I encourage you? Think of the “fleas” in your own life– the situations, people, or nagging problems that discourage you. Instead of asking God to deliver you from them, ask God what He is trying to teach you through it. Instead of desiring to push “fast forward” through this time in your ministry, push “pause.” Sit with it for a moment and see where God is leading you to be content in the circumstance and then ask Him to show you how to be thankful for it.

And then, when you go around the table and say what you’re thankful for, maybe your responses will be worthy of a social media post. At the very least, maybe your mom won’t write about it in a blog post several years later.

*On a personal note, I would just like to say that I am grateful to each of you for reading these blog posts. I pray that they encourage and exhort you for your ministry. I am also grateful to Bob, Jimbo, and everyone at NAMB for the opportunity to write and share my heart with each of you. Thankful for the past and looking forward to the future!- Erin*