Author: Will Cofield

I currently serve as the Senior Pastor of Central Baptist Church and as the Revitalization Strategist at the York Baptist Association. I am a relational pastor who has sixteen years of experience in being an influential leader in church revitalization and discipleship. I have a passion for the local church in which I desire to lead the people of God to fulfill God’s plan and purpose for them by providing Christ-like leadership, expository preaching, relational discipleship, and biblical shepherding so that together we can effectively impact eternity with a passion for Christ and a compassion for people.

Reframing Conflict

Written on January 26, 2025.

Reframing Conflict

He was cordial, polite, hospitable, and soft-spoken—traits that had helped him build a significant following over the years and gain influence in the church. However, he was also habitually critical of pastoral leadership. Before joining the church, he had played a central role in a church split across town. During deacon meetings, he was quick to express his opinions about what the pastor should preach, the church’s direction, and the unsatisfactory work of paid staff members.

This seasoned deacon had caused the previous pastor such significant distress that he tried to prevent him from serving as a deacon. Unfortunately, the pastor’s efforts were in vain, as the man returned to his role, causing the pastor’s blood pressure to rise with fear and anxiety before each meeting. The tension between the pastor and the deacon was never resolved, left to fester and infect the church with resentment and unresolved conflict.

When I became the pastor, I spent the first couple of years trying to build a relationship with the man who had caused so much heartache for the previous pastor. Despite my efforts, I soon began to experience his criticism. Most of his complaints centered around the worship music. Rather than avoiding him, I made an effort to sympathize. I listened to his concerns without arguing and tried to understand his perspective, recognizing that many of his previous pastors had taught him that if the worship music wasn’t from the hymnal and played on an organ, it was worldly and inappropriate for church services.

Reaching an Impasse

Though he appreciated my willingness to listen and understand, there was no reasoning with him about the music. At least once a month, he would come to my office to voice complaints about the music, the attire of new families who wore shorts to church, and any other changes happening.

We reached an impasse. I could either endure the same anxiety as the previous pastor or address the issue with a pastoral heart by encouraging him to understand better Jesus’ commands to love sacrificially (John 13:34) and to love the community selflessly (Matthew 22:39). I invited him to meet with me privately and gently brought up the issue. Humbly, I said to him:

A Call to Sacrificial Love

“Mr. Deacon, I love you very much, and I am deeply grateful for all your hard work and sacrifices here at Central Baptist. I understand that there are things you dislike and disagree with, and I hope you can see that I have been trying to meet you halfway. However, I need you to understand that the changes being made are not extreme or unbiblical. We are simply trying to be better missionaries in our community. The remodeling efforts, the variety of instruments used in worship, song choices, and adjustments to the church budget have all aimed to help us connect better with those in our community.”

He nodded but replied, “I understand you want to reach new families, but many of us who kept the church afloat during lean years prefer the way things were. We came here because of the music and the ministries, and now you’re changing all of that.”

“I understand,” I replied. “However, because you and others who feel this way are seasoned Christians, I need your help in being missionaries within this community. I need you to love this community and, at times, set aside your preferences for the sake of the gospel. This will be our approach to ministry moving forward: personal preferences will not guide our decision-making. Instead, we will focus on ‘What is best for the gospel.’”

Once again, he nodded as if he understood. I wish I could say this man remained with the church, but that simply isn’t how it went. He left about a year later to find a new church to meet his needs. However, this experience taught me valuable lessons about handling conflict in ministry.

Lessons on Conflict Resolution

In episode 257 of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, titled “Reframing Conflict with Mark Clifton,” host JimBo Stewart and guest Mark Clifton discuss the inevitability of conflict in church ministry and how to approach it as a gospel opportunity rather than something to avoid. Drawing from personal experiences and biblical insights, particularly from the book of Philippians, they offer practical advice for effective conflict resolution:

Conflict Is Inevitable, But It’s Also an Opportunity

You can’t avoid conflict, especially when leading a church through revitalization. However, instead of seeing conflict as something to hide from, view it as a gospel opportunity. This is your chance to let the gospel do its transformative work within your congregation.

Avoiding Conflict Can Lead to Greater Harm

While most pastors naturally want to avoid conflict, dodging it can lead to bigger problems down the line. Addressing issues head-on, with grace and wisdom, helps prevent larger divisions and misunderstandings.

Reflect on Your Relationship with Conflict

If you find yourself drawn to conflict, it might be time to take a step back. Some individuals thrive on drama, which can be damaging to both them and their ministry. Honest self-reflection is crucial to ensure your motives align with your calling.

Lead with the Gospel

Conflict is not just a hurdle; it’s a platform to demonstrate gospel-centered leadership. Approach disagreements with a spirit of reconciliation, aiming to restore relationships and bring healing through Christ.

Embrace the Process

Reframing conflict isn’t about finding quick fixes. It’s about embracing a process that requires patience, prayer, and persistent gospel application. Trust that God is at work, even in the messiness of ministry conflicts.

A Resource for Further Learning

Conflict is not something to be feared but an opportunity to glorify God by applying the gospel in real and tangible ways. A wonderful resource for learning how to handle conflict is Tony Merida’s book, Christ-Centered Conflict Resolution: A Guide for Turbulent Times. Merida offers a biblically grounded framework for addressing and resolving conflict in a way that reflects the gospel and glorifies Christ. This practical and pastoral guide emphasizes reconciliation, humility, and gospel-centered living in the midst of disagreements.

Remember, conflict in ministry is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. By addressing disagreements with grace, humility, and a gospel-centered perspective, leaders can transform moments of tension into opportunities for growth and unity. Remember, the ultimate goal is not to avoid conflict but to glorify God by fostering reconciliation and love within the church. With patience, prayer, and a focus on Christ’s teachings, even the most challenging conflicts can lead to renewed purpose and strengthened relationships.

Tactical Patience in Ministry

Written on December 8, 2024.

Tactical Patience in Ministry: Lessons from an Organ and a Saint

For years, the music ministry of our church was led by Mrs. Frances Jones—a woman of grace, faith, and dedication. She taught children to play piano, tirelessly served the church, and played the organ through the church’s golden years. With the gospel in mind, she had given up the role of music ministry director in the 1980s. She became the music minister’s assistant to hand the leadership baton off to the next generation. Music ministers came and went, but Mrs. Frances was the heart behind the music ministry. Even when the instruments were worn, and the sound system crackled, Mrs. Frances made it work without complaining or growing frustrated.

Eventually, one of her pupils rallied the church to honor her with a new organ, sound system, and a baby grand piano. It was a beautiful testimony to her legacy and her love for the Lord. By the time I arrived in 2008, Mrs. Frances’ age had caught up with her. She could not attend church, let alone play the organ like she once had. She passed away in 2012, and the organ she had cherished sat silent—unused for nearly a decade.

As space became tight, conversations arose about removing the organ. Some saw it as an obstacle to modernizing worship; others saw it as sacred, tied to memories of a beloved saint. I knew removing it prematurely would fracture trust in an already fragile congregation. There were so many things that needed to change at the church. We needed better theology, improved small groups, and an intentional discipleship plan. The sanctuary—and all the facilities—needed renovations, and we desperately needed to learn to love our community again. We needed to repent of serving our personal preferences, years of division, and an aversion to sharing the gospel. Yes, we needed the space on the stage, but removing the organ would have been the death blow to any efforts at rebuilding unity between the generations that had been so divided. Wisdom prevailed, and we learned to work around it for the sake of unity.

You can imagine my frustration when an evangelist—unfamiliar with our church’s story—boldly criticized the organ as an idol and declared we should get rid of it. What he didn’t understand was that it wasn’t that the organ was an idol, as it was the organ that reminded the seniors of a blessed saint who they loved dearly. The next day, seniors of the church were calling, wanting to come and talk to me about why we shouldn’t get rid of the organ. I assured them I wasn’t interested in dying on that hill, and the evangelist had spoken out of turn. He would not be back.

With time, God provided a solution. The family who had donated most of the funds for the organ years earlier kindly requested it back, offering to put it to good use while honoring Mrs. Frances’ memory. The church gladly agreed. It was a quiet resolution that preserved unity and allowed us to focus on what truly mattered: returning to vitality as a congregation and engaging our community with the gospel.

The Lesson of Tactical Patience

In Episode 249 of the Replant Bootcamp Podcast, Tim Williams shares a key insight for ministry leaders: “Don’t microwave the brisket.” True change in a church takes time, wisdom, and what Tim calls tactical patience. Revitalization pastors face many “organs” in their ministry—issues that require thoughtful navigation. Leaders must ask:

Are the changes we’re making truly needed, or are they preferential?
It’s easy to tackle surface-level issues to feel productive, but real transformation comes from addressing the heart of the church—its theology, community, and discipleship.
Are we giving the church time to embrace change?
Leading change requires relational equity. Moving too quickly risks losing influence and alienating the very people we’re trying to serve.
Are we slowing down, listening, and trusting God’s timing?
Pride rushes ahead, but humility allows leaders to pause, reflect, and strategize. Growth happens in the waiting—when leaders preach, pray, love, and stay.

A valuable resource for better understanding tactical patience in ministry is “Who Stole My Church?” by Gordon MacDonald. In this book, MacDonald addresses the struggles of a fictional group of older church members who feel displaced by changes in church culture and practices. Through their journey, he provides insights into embracing change, fostering intergenerational understanding, and rediscovering the church’s mission to adapt while remaining true to its purpose.

Another excellent resource is “Who Moved My Pulpit?” by Thom Rainer. In this book, Rainer explores the challenges that church leaders face when leading revitalization efforts amid resistance to change. He highlights the importance of pastoral leadership, the courage to confront adversity, and the necessity for churches to adapt in order to effectively fulfill their mission in a changing culture.

A Final Encouragement

In Paul’s letter to the church in Thessalonica, he says, “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV) Paul understood that shepherding must be done with patience. He didn’t want the church torn apart by impulsive decisions not pertinent to the gospel’s advancement. We should heed his wisdom and be wise when leading change.

Revitalizing a church isn’t about quick fixes; it’s about faithful shepherding rooted in patience, humility, and God’s providence. As leaders, we must learn to discern when to wait, when to act, and how to shepherd our congregations through change with care and intentionality.

Space might have been limited because of the organ, but its removal was not necessary for the church to minister to the community. The organ wasn’t keeping the church from loving one another, their community, or Jesus. The organ serves me today as a reminder that unity matters far more than preferences.

If you’re navigating change in your church, remember: “Don’t microwave the brisket.” Focus on the gospel, shepherd all your people, and, most importantly, trust God.

For more insights on tactical patience, listen to Episode 249 of the Replant Bootcamp Podcast.

Setting Ministry Goals: Lessons in Trust, Humility, and Biblical Focus

Written on November 4, 2024.

Setting Ministry Goals

When I stepped into the role of Senior Pastor, our leadership team came together for an intense session, hoping to set ministry goals. We prayed, studied, and hoped—imagining what God might accomplish in our church. Zealously, we developed a plan and set a bold five-year goal, projecting a 20% annual attendance increase with the hope of planting a new church within three years. We even created visuals to unveil our plans.

The younger leaders at the table were enthusiastic, but I noticed one of the more seasoned leaders looked hesitant. While the younger men were optimistic, this elder was more reserved. When I asked for his thoughts, he quietly said, “I hope God does this, but I don’t know for certain that He will.” It felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room.

In time, I realized his insight wasn’t a reflection of doubt in God’s power but rather a reminder of something our team hadn’t fully grasped: our planning and ministry goals were grounded in arrogance and ambition more than faithfulness. Worse, our goals were driven by shallow metrics rather than a Christ-centered purpose.

Learning Through Failure

As it turned out, our goals didn’t materialize. Attendance didn’t grow as we had planned; instead, it continued to decline, following a trend that had lasted nearly two decades. At the time, I felt disheartened, viewing it as a setback. But in hindsight, I recognize God’s providence. If we had achieved those goals, we might have leaned into self-reliance, pride, and even idolatry—taking credit for what should be God’s alone.

Though our intentions seemed right, our motives were subtly misaligned. We desired numerical growth, believing a larger church meant a more successful ministry. But this outlook was shallow. We had overlooked a foundational question: were we aiming to shepherd the congregation faithfully, intentionally disciple believers, and glorify Christ—or merely to grow larger? True, reaching people is good, but our underlying desire was to chase attendance numbers rather than nurture a biblical community focused on worship, discipleship, and love.

Planning with Humility and Dependence on God

Goal-setting in ministry isn’t wrong or unnecessary; it’s essential. But how can pastors—especially in revitalizing or replanting contexts—set goals that honor God without arrogance or self-reliance? JimBo Stewart and Brandon Moore address this beautifully in The Replant Bootcamp podcast (Episode 248). As Brandon aptly says, “Planning and intentionality are not unspiritual things.” Planning doesn’t indicate that pastors lack dependence on God; rather, it’s a reflection of stewardship when done with prayerful dependence and humility.

Scripture encourages planning, but it also warns against presuming upon God or planning with arrogance. We are called to plan intentionally and prayerfully, acknowledging God’s sovereignty over every outcome. This could mean mapping out a preaching calendar that moves expositionally through Scripture, ensuring that our teaching aligns with God’s message rather than our personal agenda. Casting a biblically grounded vision for discipleship, outreach, or accountability also requires thoughtful planning—always open to God’s direction.

Biblical Productivity and Ministry Goals

In Redeeming Productivity: Getting More Done for the Glory of God, Reagan Rose discusses productivity through a Christian lens, emphasizing that productivity isn’t about doing more but about doing what matters in a way that aligns with our faith and bears fruit for God. Rose’s insights are particularly valuable for churches with limited resources, where every hour, dollar, and ounce of energy counts. His approach calls believers to pursue meaningful productivity—not as a measure of accomplishment, but as a way to honor God through intentional and fruitful work.

In ministry, our goals should aim to bear gospel-centered fruit, using resources wisely. For churches facing decline, a biblically grounded, strategic approach to planning can help direct efforts where they matter most, preventing wasted resources. Embracing God’s guidance doesn’t mean abandoning foresight; it means inviting Him into every stage of our planning and keeping our plans open to His direction.

Setting Goals That Glorify God

Setting ministry goals isn’t unspiritual or overly pragmatic; when done with humility, it fosters growth and keeps our focus on the gospel. But our goals must be rooted in gospel-driven metrics, centered on a desire to see Christ exalted above all. Jared Wilson’s Gospel-Driven Ministry: An Introduction to the Calling and Work of a Pastor provides an excellent resource on setting biblically grounded goals. Wilson reminds pastors of their core calling to shepherd God’s people with humility, dependence on the Spirit, and a Christ-centered approach to goal-setting.

A healthy approach to ministry goals does not aim to swell attendance but to cultivate a vibrant, faithful community rooted in discipleship, Christ-exalting devotion, and gospel priorities. When our goals are genuinely aligned with God’s mission, they serve as tools for advancing the gospel rather than trophies for human achievement. May our ministry goals reflect not a shallow and superficial definition of success, but a deep commitment to seeing lives transformed by the gospel and Christ lifted high.

Failing to Adapt to the Changing Community

Written on October 11, 2024.

A Changing Community

The seasoned deacon stopped in his tracks and turned to me with a frustrated glance. It had been a contentious deacon’s meeting where we discussed new outreach methods, the worship service, and the decline in Sunday School attendance. Angrily, he asked me, “Why do I have to change? I was here first! Those people [the unreached people in the community], they had their chance. I came to this church because I liked the music, the order of worship, and my Sunday School class. Those people could have come to church, but they didn’t. So why do I have to change for them?”

I was taken aback. His words echoed a sentiment I had heard in various forms from others in the congregation. Unfortunately, at that moment, I was unprepared. All I could stammer out was, “It’s not about us; it’s about the Gospel.” He wasn’t convinced. As frustrated as ever, he stormed off to his white Buick Riviera with the church logo on the license plate.

Looking back, I wish I had been better equipped to respond to his frustration with Scripture. I wish I had flipped open my Bible and read Paul’s letter to the Church in Philippi:

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant…” (Philippians 2:3-7 ESV).

Paul’s words might have helped him understand the biblical call to love our neighbors selflessly and why we should give up our personal preferences for the advancement of the Gospel. The mission of the church isn’t about maintaining comfort or holding onto programming that no longer serves the community—it’s about reaching people where they are. But at that moment, the opportunity to share this truth slipped away.

The Struggle to Adapt

Conversations like these became the norm. I joined the church with my family in 2008 as the Associate Pastor of Students. The senior pastor, a recent seminary graduate, recognized that the church needed to reach young families to survive. But, looking back, the church didn’t need just a youth pastor—it needed a renewed love for its community.

For decades, the church had thrived as it met the spiritual and social needs of the mill village. Fathers worked together at the mill, children played ball on the field behind the church, families worshipped together, and everyone knew their neighbors. The church was vital to the community’s fabric, providing spiritual leadership and social connection. Bus ministries for children, Christmas pageants, children’s ministry, and VBS we

Changing Community — Replanting When the Mission Field Changes

eks that engaged the entire community were all commonalities in the first 50-60 years of the church’s life.

However, the community changed as the textile industry declined and the mill shut down. The once tight-knit, blue-collar families moved away, and their homes became transient rental properties. The community quickly transitioned to different people groups and cultures than the church was used to accommodating. The congregation followed suit, moving away from the mill village. And while they still came to worship, the deep relationships that once existed between the church and its neighborhood had frayed.

The church’s programs continued but grew less and less effective. Though the church occasionally tried to engage the community with door-to-door invitations to events or programs, the community was reluctant to accept because of the lack of relationships and the cultural differences between the church and the community. The community had changed, and the church had not. Eventually, the congregation failed to recognize the surrounding neighborhood as their mission field as many congregants resented the change in the community.

A Common Challenge Across Churches

This pattern isn’t unique. Across the country, many churches face the same struggle. A once-thriving church slowly drifts into decline as its surrounding community changes. But the critical issue isn’t just that the community changed—it’s that the church didn’t. Soon, the church, feeling like an outsider in its community, withdraws behind the church walls.

Fred Clement, pastor of One Family Church in Dayton, Ohio, shared a similar story on Episode 247 of the podcast. Clement tells the story of Meadowdale Baptist, who had also struggled with adapting to cultural and demographic shifts in the community. Under Clement’s leadership, the church transitioned into One Family Church, with a renewed focus on engaging the community through relationships with local schools and neighborhoods. Clement wisely noted, “If you don’t engage the community, they won’t engage you.”

Practical Steps for Engaging the Changing Community

So, how can churches facing similar challenges begin to reconnect with their communities? Here are a few steps to consider:

Embrace a Missional Mindset: Churches must embrace the community around them as their mission field. That means the members must begin to see themselves as missionaries in that community. They must think like a missionary would think. This will require them to be more strategic in their missional efforts than in the past—an excellent resource for learning more about this Hope for American Evangelicals by Matthew Bennet.
Build Relationships: It’s not enough to hold events and hope people show up. Churches must invest in genuine relationships. Partner with local schools, meet their neighbors and be present in the community—not just as an event, but as individuals. Churches struggling with engaging their community must learn to love their neighbors genuinely. When they do this, those relationships become a vehicle for the gospel. The Art of Neighboring by Jim Pathak and Dave Runyon is a great resource for learning this.
Understand the Community Context: Sometimes, what worked in the past no longer serves the current community because the context has changed. In most areas, the nominal Christian culture is dissipating, and a post-Christian culture is becoming more prevalent. Different cultures—with different values and needs—are moving in the community. Be willing to understand the new community to effectively adapt your outreach methods to meet people where they are.
Embrace Gospel-Centered Hospitality: Christians should embrace hospitality because it is a tangible way to live out Christ’s love. Hospitality, however, goes beyond entertaining friends or fellow believers—it involves opening one’s home and heart to neighbors, strangers, and even those who may oppose Christian beliefs. Biblical hospitality breaks down barriers, builds meaningful relationships, and creates opportunities to share the Gospel’s transformative power. By welcoming others into our daily lives, Christians can demonstrate the sacrificial love of Jesus, foster community, and offer hope to a world in need of authentic connection. An excellent resource for learning more about reaching the community with gospel-centered hospitality is The Gospel Comes With a Housekey by Rosaria Butterfield.

Conclusion: The Changing Mission Field

Churches must recognize that adapting to changing communities is not just a matter of survival but a call to fulfill their mission in the world. As the cultural and demographic landscape shifts, so should the methods and approaches of the church without compromising the Gospel. Effective engagement requires a deep understanding of the community, a willingness to love those different, and the humility to change when necessary. By embracing these changes, churches can bridge divides, rebuild relationships, and once again become vital centers of spiritual and social transformation. Ultimately, adapting to change allows the church to continue its mission of making disciples, demonstrating that the Gospel is relevant and life-changing in every context.

Redeeming Your Time in Ministry: Learning From My Failure

Written on October 2, 2024.

I wasn’t managing my time well. What’s worse is that it was beginning to show. It was early in my ministry, and I had a tiger by the tail. I was still leading the youth ministry, teaching a senior adult Sunday School class, leading a Wednesday morning prayer meeting, preaching on Sunday nights, and preparing sermons for Sunday mornings. On top of all that, I was working hard to finish my undergraduate degree while trying to be a present husband and father. The problem wasn’t that I enjoyed being overworked, stressed, and stretched thin. It was that the church was struggling, and I felt an overwhelming responsibility to keep everything together.

I believed I had to maintain a healthy relationship with the next generation, build a connection with senior adults, and keep every ministry “plate” spinning. So, when a newly elected deacon approached me, asking for discipleship, I felt my heart sink. How could I possibly add one more thing to my already overstuffed schedule?

Missed Opportunities and Lessons Learned

Our church had a discipleship problem, and I knew it. The deacon’s request was a perfect opportunity to begin changing the culture. Yet, my poor time management and lack of strategic planning prevented me from taking full advantage of it. What I should have done was reassess my priorities prayerfully, refocus on my calling, and make tough decisions. I needed to let go of some responsibilities, delegate more effectively, and mentor others to create a pathway for multiplication in ministry.

But I didn’t. Instead, I foolishly tried to squeeze relational discipleship into an already packed schedule. The result? I failed. My spinning plates came crashing down. My sermons suffered, the youth ministry dwindled, and the newly elected deacon became frustrated and eventually left the church.

It was a painful lesson that taught me an important truth: I couldn’t do everything I felt needed to be done. I was failing as a pastor, but it was in that season of failure I began to learn the importance of managing time wisely.

The Struggle of Time Management in Ministry

Back then, I thought I was the only pastor struggling with time management. However, as I’ve interacted with more pastors—especially those involved in church revitalization—I’ve realized that I wasn’t alone. Many pastors are enthusiastic about the work, deeply passionate about the future of their churches, but quietly overwhelmed by the demands on their time.

When I ask about their discipleship efforts, I often see hesitation. They know discipleship is important, but their plates are already full. Many of them work seven days a week, just trying to keep up. The struggle is real, and it’s common. The pressure to balance pastoral duties, family, and personal well-being often leaves pastors feeling trapped, discouraged, and exhausted.

Redeeming Time: Lessons from Jesus

In episode 246 of our podcast, JimBo Stewart and Jordan Raynor dive into this very topic. Raynor, the author of Redeeming Your Time: 7 Biblical Principles for Being Purposeful, Present, and Wildly Productive, offers a perspective that resonates deeply with those of us in ministry. Unlike the many secular time management books out there, Raynor’s work is distinct in that it draws from the life of Jesus.

As Raynor says, “Jesus was the most productive person to ever walk the earth.” Yet, Jesus never appeared hurried or stressed, not even when he was interrupted. He lived with purpose and perfect balance, accomplishing the most significant mission in human history within a relatively short ministry span of three years. His example offers timeless principles for pastors seeking to manage their time effectively and live purposefully.

Raynor’s book isn’t just about being efficient—it’s about aligning our priorities with God’s eternal plan. From a worldly perspective, Jesus may not have appeared productive at the time of his death. Yet, 2,000 years later, over a third of the world follows his teachings. His impact is a reminder that our idea of productivity must be shaped by an eternal perspective.

Discernment: The Key to Effective Time Management

One of the most significant takeaways from Raynor’s book is that we need to discern God’s priorities for our lives and ministries. As pastors, we often fill our schedules with tasks and obligations that seem important but don’t necessarily have eternal value. Many of these commitments come from a good place but are made hastily, without considering the long-term impact.

When we spread ourselves too thin, we end up breaking promises, hurting our integrity, and feeling overwhelmed. The pressure and anxiety build, leaving us vulnerable to burnout, conflict, and, ultimately, ministry failure.

So, how do we avoid this trap? It starts with prayerfully asking ourselves:

What are God’s priorities for me as a follower of Christ and a minister of the gospel?
Which tasks am I doing out of obligation to please people rather than a sense of calling and biblical priorities?
Where can I delegate, empower others, or let go of responsibilities in order to better advance God’s kingdom?
Is my ministry overflowing from my love and awe for Jesus or is it diminishing it?

This kind of reflection takes time, but it’s essential for long-term ministry success.

Moving Forward with Purpose

In hindsight, I wish I had embraced these principles earlier. I could have better discipled that deacon, empowered the youth leaders to take more initiative, and prioritized my time with my family. I now see that managing time isn’t about cramming more tasks into the day—it’s about discerning what is eternally important and prioritizing the right tasks.

If you find yourself in a similar situation—overworked, stretched thin, and feeling like you’re just trying to keep your head above water—take heart. You’re not alone. And more importantly, there is hope. The key is not to do more but to do what matters most. And what matters most is often less than we think.

By following Jesus’ example and discerning God’s priorities for your life and ministry, you can redeem your time. Not just for the sake of productivity but for the sake of eternity.

Parenting With the End in Mind

Written on September 11, 2024.

Parenting is tough, and it’s even tougher when you don’t have a plan. Perhaps this is why the mother was so torn. Her family had been active in our church for almost eight years, but their child had started a new school and made new friends who attended a different church across town. That church had quickly become the trendy choice, with all the fun events, youth trips, and cool factors that a big budget could generate. The mother wanted to continue attending our church, but she also wanted to make her child happy. She insisted that nothing was wrong with our church, but she was torn because her child wanted to attend the other church with her friends. The father remained silent.

My advice wasn’t what they wanted to hear. I suggested that they should not leave a church they loved—and one that loved them—for another church’s appealing attributes. Instead, I encouraged them to evaluate each church’s ministry philosophy, mission, vision, and core values. I stressed the significance of making long-term decisions in parenting, rather than solely focusing on their child’s immediate enjoyment and friendships. I assured them that the church they loved offered valuable relationships that would contribute to their child’s long-term spiritual growth. I cautioned them that children’s interests and friendships change throughout adolescence. If they were to switch churches solely for their children to attend with their friends, those friendships might not endure through their teenage years. Instead, I emphasized the importance of their child having multi-generational relationships within a supportive church community that would last a lifetime.

While the father assured me that he was indeed the paterfamilias and wouldn’t dare allow his children’s whims to dictate his family’s spiritual decisions, they soon started attending the other church. My warnings came to fruition. Shortly after their departure, their child’s friendships dissolved, and they were again looking for another church to attend. This situation highlighted the crucial role of parents as spiritual leaders in their children’s lives, and the responsibility that comes with it.

These parents weren’t selfish or immoral. They thought they were being sacrificial. They were willing to leave a church they loved because they believed their child’s enjoyment of church was paramount. Unfortunately, this had an unhealthy effect. Without intending to, these parents imparted an unbiblical and potentially toxic value to their children. They modeled for their child a consumeristic approach to worship and church membership. Their child learned from the parent’s actions that church membership was meaningless, especially in the light of comfort.

Imparting Core Values

Whether we realize it or not, we impart values to our children with each decision. The question parents must wrestle with is, “What values do we want to impart?” Biblically, we as parents are to “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6 ESV). The question we must discern is what this looks like in our context. Is it simply attending church with our children and reading the Bible as a family, or is there more to it?

In episode 245, JimBo and Audrea Stewart tackle this parenting issue by sharing how they embraced core values to help guide them in discipling their children. While pastors engaged with replanting and revitalization are thoroughly familiar with the idea of imparting biblical core values into the church’s culture, rarely do we hear of parents approaching their family in a like manner. Discipline? Yes, indeed. Biblical education, of course. Love? Most certainly! But core values? It sounds a little too institutional for many parents.

But why should it be? Establishing core values is essential in replanting churches because it eliminates wasted resources such as time, money, and effort. Would not the same be valid for the family? Without establishing core values as parents, how many missed opportunities have we experienced to better disciple our children? How much energy have we expounded on pursuing things that aren’t beneficial to our children’s development? By establishing these core values for parenting, our potential to raise godly children is greatly intensified. This should motivate parents to set clear core values in their parenting, giving them a sense of purpose and direction.

Parenting with core values is essentially beginning with the end in mind. Jimbo and Audrea Stewart adopted this approach to parenting, aiming to raise children into “adults [they] would enjoy being around.” They focused on instilling values of respect, integrity, self-control, and joyfulness in their children. This not only aligns with biblical principles but is also a strategic and intelligent parenting strategy.

While Stewart’s core values may differ from yours, parents should contemplate how to follow suit. A book called The Other Half of Church by Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks may help you in this endeavor. Though this is not a parenting book, it is beneficial in understanding brain science and how to develop biblical character intentionally.

The Need For Intentionality

Parents need to be intentional about their children’s growth and spiritual education. Bringing kids to church and reading the Bible together as a family are important habits, but young adults are leaving the church in alarming numbers, so these efforts may not be intentional enough. High school students are leaving the church after graduation at an alarming rate—66%, to be exact.

These are not unreached students. These students were actively involved in the youth ministry of an evangelical church for at least one year during high school but now do not attend church at all. Their church attendance declined at the same rate as Friday night football games and pep rallies. The church, once such an essential part of their lives, becomes as extraneous to them as a high school textbook in their college classrooms. The church is not merely losing ground among the unreached in post-Christian America—it is also bleeding out its own from internal wounds.

In their research project, Gen Z, the Barna Group presents extensive statistical data focusing on Generation Z’s worldview. According to research by Barna, the problem of students leaving the church comes down to a discipleship issue. Barna Group surveys, when compared with other research data, reveal an important lesson: the majority of young people who remained faithful to the church after high school attributed their faith to the influence of their parents. Those whose parents practiced intentional discipleship not only tended to follow biblical principles, such as attending church and embracing a biblical worldview, but also took their faith more seriously compared to those who simply attended church.

Even though children and adolescents seek independence, parents continue to be the most influential people in their child’s life. Even if youth leaders or children’s volunteers do everything right—building healthy relationships, becoming significant influences, and offering dynamic and relatable programs—they still won’t have nearly as much influence in a child’s life as their parents. Given that God designed parents to be the most influential relationship in their children’s lives, shouldn’t we acknowledge what a waste it would be to approach parenting without a strategy? Shouldn’t we recognize the importance of beginning with the end in mind and creating a plan to instill essential core values that contribute to long-term family discipleship?