Tag: humility

Traits to Change

Written on March 3, 2023.

Cycles of Personal Growth

“I’m working on myself,” is a common phrase people say when they want to start improving something about their physical appearance, their emotional state, or their daily activity. The personal goals we make for ourselves change over time, and we all personally go through phases of decline, plateau, and growth (sound familiar?). Like the Life Cycles of a Church, our goals also have life cycles.

Last year, I made it my goal to lose some weight. I started a diet at the beginning of the year and had some great success with it for about two months! Then, I started getting busy…very busy. I lost the energy and motivation to continue because the progress I had made was adequate. So, I started reintroducing foods/drinks that I had previously been abstaining from. By the end of the year I was facing some depression and lost some motivation to continue, and even gained some of that weight back. The last phase is when we recognize that we need to “jump back on it,” and the cycle starts over.

In ministry, church leaders ought to be looking for ways they can improve their leadership. In another podcast we learned about some traits of a godly leader. Our life navigates us through learning, growing, and improving. This is not only our desire, but it is God’s desire through the Holy Spirit at work in us. The Holy Spirit has been given to us as a gift, to lead and guide us, to convict us of sin, and to give us boldness to be a witness for Christ. It is through the Holy Spirit that God wants to sanctify us.

Sanctification – In Every Christian Life

The word “Sanctification” is related to our growth in conformity of Christ. God uses people, places, and the Holy Spirit to move us towards being set apart or holy. The Bible says, “Consecrate yourselves, therefore, and be holy; for I am the LORD your God. Keep my statutes, and do them; I am the LORD who sanctifies you” (Leviticus 20:7-8).

In the book How Does Sanctification Work? David Powilson says this: “The Christian Life typically lurches forward rather than marching uniformly in a straight line.” We were meant to grow. No matter what your goals are for self-improvement, we all need to recognize that change is coming – and we should be prepared for it. God’s sanctification will guarantee us that change will either happen with our willingness or without it.

I cannot tell you how many times in my life that I have suffered through a situation and questioned God, only to look back years later and realize how it produced a Godly trait in me.We are fortunate to know that we can learn from men and women in the Bible who sought some of the traits we will talk about in this blog. Speaking of biblical examples, Powilson also says, “I am convinced that our understanding of the process of the Christian life is greatly enriched by considering multiple mundane examples, both in Scripture and in our lives.”

Case Study: Paul’s Maturation

One of the ways we see this is in the life of Paul. Paul was not a perfect man. When Christ encountered him on the road to Damascus, it changed his life forever. But there was still some “renewing of the mind” that had to take place. When we meet him in Acts, he had been changed by Christ and started pursuing the apostolic call on his life. However, clearly Paul struggled with sin.

In 1 Timothy 1:15, Paul said, “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’—and I am the worst of them all.” He also explained his wrestle with his fleshly desires vs. the desire he had to serve God (Romans 7:13-25). But we also see his growth and maturation in his writing. Paul seemed to much more gracious and calm in the progression of his letters to the churches.

Galatians was likely Paul’s first epistle. And you can clearly tell the difference between his first epistle and his last epistle. See if you can tell the difference:

1:6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.

Compared to his last letter: 2 Timothy 1:

3 I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. 4 As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. 5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. 6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, 7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Now, I’m not saying that the Galatians didn’t deserve Paul’s rebuke. But if you do a deep case study on the writings of Paul, you will see that as he progressed and wrote these epistles, he became more graceful, more patient, and more sympathetic over time. A great resource on studying this is N.T. Wright’s Paul: A Biography.

Traits to Change

No matter what you do for your own self-improvement, you will encounter hardships. But Jimbo and Bob have done a great job identifying the 5 traits that are necessary if you hope to change anything about yourself. Most attempts of self-improvement will fail, if you do not possess the following characteristics. Here they are, with a brief description of each:

Humility

Humility means acknowledging that you have room to grow and that others have something to offer. We can see the importance of humility in biblical passages such as Ephesians 4:2, James 4:10 , and 1 Peter 5:5, which all emphasize the importance of humility. Bob notes that humility is the first touchstone for personal development and that being humble doesn’t mean thinking less of oneself, but rather thinking of oneself less. He warns against assuming that one’s presence alone will fix everything and emphasizes the importance of recognizing one’s weaknesses and inexperience.

Teachability

Teachability involves being open to learning from others, even those who may not have as much experience as you. The second ingredient for personal growth in replanting and revitalizing a church is teachability, which is built upon humility. Teachability involves being willing to receive feedback, instruction, and correction, even if it is painful. Proverbs 13:18 and Proverbs 9 emphasize the importance of heeding reproof and instruction in order to become wiser and more skilled. Without teachability, growth is impossible.

Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness requires honest assessment (Romans 12) of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your goals and motivations. Having a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as an understanding of how others perceive you, can help you make more informed decisions and pursue growth opportunities that align with your abilities and interests.

Integrity

Integrity is about being honest with yourself and others, avoiding excuses, and owning up to mistakes. It’s important to be honest with ourselves and others about our progress and performance, and not make excuses for our shortcomings. When we take ownership of our mistakes and take responsibility for our actions, we demonstrate integrity and earn the trust and respect of others. This is especially important for leaders, who are expected to set an example and inspire others to grow and improve. By being honest and owning our mistakes, we can become better versions of ourselves and gain the support and trust of those around us.

Check out Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck for more on self-control.

Initiative

Finally, initiative is the willingness to put in the work required to grow, taking action rather than waiting for others to prod you into it. If you want to grow, these ingredients are essential, and there are many resources available to help you develop them.

Personal development and growth require a combination of these five ingredients: humility, teachability, self-awareness, integrity, and initiative. It’s important to be honest with yourself and others about your progress and to take responsibility for your actions. And ultimately, growth requires initiative and hard work, putting in the necessary effort to achieve your goals. There are many resources available to help with personal development and developing good habits, but ultimately, it’s up to you to take the first step and put in the work.

For more information, check out the Godly Leadership series on our podcast, and read Eric Cofield’s excellent blogs on the 5 Traits of Godly Leaders.

EP 180 – 5 INGREDIENTS FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Written on March 1, 2023.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 180 - 5 INGREDIENTS FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

00:00 / 24:38

The Bootcamp Boys are able to record from their own homes for this one.

Replanter and Revitalizer Characteristic Survey

In this thread, JimBo and Bob discuss the necessary ingredients for personal development and growth in any area of life. These include humility, teachability, self-awareness, integrity, and initiative. They emphasize the importance of being honest and owning up to mistakes, taking responsibility, and taking action to make things happen. They also recommend resources such as books on developing habits and perseverance. Overall, these qualities can help individuals become better leaders and achieve their goals in both personal and professional settings.

The necessary ingredients for personal development in any area of life are:

Humility means acknowledging that you have room to grow and that others have something to offer. We can see the importance of humility in biblical passages such as Ephesians 4:2, James 4:10, and 1 Peter 5:5, which all emphasize the importance of humility. Bob notes that humility is the first touchstone for personal development and that being humble doesn’t mean thinking less of oneself, but rather thinking of oneself less. He warns against assuming that one’s presence alone will fix everything and emphasizes the importance of recognizing one’s weaknesses and inexperience.

Teachability involves being open to learning from others, even those who may not have as much experience as you. The second ingredient for personal growth in replanting and revitalizing a church is teachability, which is built upon humility. Teachability involves being willing to receive feedback, instruction, and correction, even if it is painful. Proverbs 13:18 and Proverbs 9 emphasize the importance of heeding reproof and instruction in order to become wiser and more skilled. Without teachability, growth is impossible.

Self-awareness requires honest assessment (Romans 12) of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your goals and motivations. Having a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as an understanding of how others perceive you, can help you make more informed decisions and pursue growth opportunities that align with your abilities and interests.

Integrity is about being honest with yourself and others, avoiding excuses, and owning up to mistakes. It’s important to be honest with ourselves and others about our progress and performance, and not make excuses for our shortcomings. When we take ownership of our mistakes and take responsibility for our actions, we demonstrate integrity and earn the trust and respect of others. This is especially important for leaders, who are expected to set an example and inspire others to grow and improve. By being honest and owning our mistakes, we can become better versions of ourselves and gain the support and trust of those around us.

Check out Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck for more on self-control (affiliate link).

Finally, initiative is the willingness to put in the work required to grow, taking action rather than waiting for others to prod you into it. If you want to grow, these ingredients are essential, and there are many resources available to help you develop them.

Empathy in Leadership- Part Three of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on February 6, 2023.

Empathy

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, and Part two, Goodwill, can be found here.

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test? I took one early in my spiritual journey. While I was excited that I scored well for the gifts of exhortation and teaching, I was shocked to realize I scored very low in mercy and empathy. Out of a possible 100 points, I scored a FOUR in the gift of mercy. A FOUR. It doesn’t take a math wiz to realize that a 4 out of 100 would be a failing score on any test.

I asked a mentor if she could help me understand how I could be gifted at exhortation (insinuating that I am an encourager by nature) but score so low in mercy and empathy and she put it this way:

Two people are walking one day and see a third person stuck in a deep pit. The person gifted in exhortation calls down and says, “Hey! How’d you get stuck in this pit?” The person answers, “I’m not sure. I’m just here and can’t get out!” The Encourager says, “Hang on! I can help! I’m going to go get a ladder so we can get you out!” When she comes back with the ladder, two people are in the pit. She calls down, “Hey! Why did you get in the pit with them?” And the other person says, “Well, I saw they were alone and I knew I could help by sitting with them in the dark.”

My mentor said, “You are the person getting the ladder. You have sympathy and want to fix the problem. But the person who crawls into the pit with them? That person has empathy.”

I knew I needed to develop better empathy skills if I wanted to lead like Jesus. In a recent Replant Bootcamp podcast episode, JimBob discussed this invaluable characteristic of a Godly leader and the difference it can make in the life of a replant pastor.

The Definition of Empathy

There is pushback in some circles toward the idea of “empathy” toward others in a pastoral context. We seem to sometimes equate it with “acceptance” of a person’s actions. Unfortunately, this not only mis-defines empathy, it misses an important aspect of mercy in our ministry to others. Empathy, by definition, is not ignoring the actions that brought someone to where they are– it is putting yourself in their shoes and feeling their pain as though it were your own.

Some of us have also equated empathy with sympathy. But, again, we miss the definition of both when we conflate the two. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Empathy says, “I am with you in this pain and this is happening to us.” Sympathy allows you a lesser sense of involvement because it allows you to stay removed from the pain of another person.

A third definition is helpful here, too, when we look at empathy. Compassion is empathy in action. You are so motivated by the pain of someone else that it moves you toward action. This response can be difficult for those of us who were never shown compassion from our parents. If the reply to your pain was an exasperated parent saying, “Well if you hadn’t done XYZ, then this wouldn’t have happened.“ Or “get over it. You’re fine,” you are going to find it very difficult to come to a place of empathy with others. Likewise, if you had a very emotional parent who made your pain more about them than about you, you will likely have a hard time dealing with being empathetic toward someone else’s emotional pain. You have not had empathy modeled for you, so it will be hard to understand why you need to give it to others.

The Demand for Empathy

While all pastors should practice empathy as they counsel and work with the people their team, replant pastors have a unique role to play as they serve. In a replant, there are likely to be two issues that demand we respond with empathy. The first is the propensity toward change in a replant. In a separate blog and podcast, the Replant Bootcamp team discussed the emotional cycle of change. As you guide your church through transformation, empathy helps you seek to not only understand negative pushback toward change, but also to navigate through someone’s emotional response to it. The second issue a replant pastor faces is the need to reach the community around them. The experiences in the surrounding community may be very different from your own. Your response to their pain must be from a place of understanding and empathy. People who are hurting need to hear and know that you care and have compassion for them so that they can hear the hope of the Gospel.

This isn’t a new idea. This characteristic of compassion and empathy is modeled in the way Jesus saw and ministered to people. Jesus repeatedly felt compassion toward people and moved to action by his care for them.

In Mark 1:41, the Bible tells us Jesus was “moved with pity” as he healed a leper. In Mark 6:34, he “had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd and he began to teach them many things.” In Mark 8:2, Jesus states that he “had compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.” He then directs his disciples to feed the crowd. In Luke 7:13, Jesus heals the widow’s son after having compassion on her and saying, “do not weep.” And in both the parable of the good Samaritan and the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus states that the character’s actions came from a place of compassion and empathy for the person in need.

Jesus consistently treated people with empathy, and his compassion moved him toward action. He didn’t condone their sin or become frustrated with it. He simply cared about them enough to show them grace and mercy so that they could hear and receive the ultimate answer to their needs– the Gospel.

The Development of Empathy

Fortunately for me, failing in the area of mercy and empathy doesn’t have to be a permanent position. Empathy is a skill any leader can develop with time. There are 5 ways that you can become more empathetic toward the people you serve:

1. Be fully present. The people you serve need to know that they are important to you. Give them your full attention.
2. Be an active listener. Engage people and actively listen to their stories. You may want to put your phone down and exercise curiosity. Ask about their perspective and their background. What led them to this moment? What experiences have they had?
3. Suspend judgment. Seek to understand where someone is coming from before you make judgments about them. Remember their experiences have informed their emotions and actions, and their experience may be different than yours.
4. Create compassionate understanding. Before you attempt to “solve” an issue, try to understand the other person’s perspective on it. Be compassionate as you try to help them move toward resolution.
5. Practice proactive caring. Meet the person’s needs as you’re able to, whether that’s being actively involved in meeting physical needs, or simply sitting with them as they need you.

When we practice Godly empathy, we are modeling Christ’s compassion for others. To truly be a godly leader, one must be willing to sit with someone else’s pain the way He did. Jesus allowed himself to be moved into someone else’s pain, even to the point of weeping with them or over them.

Sit in the pit with the person, and then crawl out together. You’ll both be grateful you did.

Some resources on Empathy are this article by Daniel Harrison and this blog post by Scot McKnight.

Goodwill in Leadership– Part Two of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on January 30, 2023.

Goodwill

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here.

A Tale of Two Bosses

Today, I am a veterinary technician (aka an animal nurse). But my first career was in finance. Over the course of fifteen years, I was a teller, Customer Service Representative, Loan Officer, and at my last position, a Branch Manager. I had many bosses in that time, but my favorite was Susan, the Lead Teller at my first job. Susan was incredible. She was the type of person that made you feel like you were capable of anything. She listened if we voiced concerns over a new policy or if we were confused about a new product. She knew all the answers, but never made us feel ignorant for asking questions. Susan was genuinely interested in our lives outside of work, and always made it a point to remember our family events like birthdays and anniversaries. She celebrated us as a team and never took credit for our achievements, even though many times it was her sales that made the difference in us winning or losing. In my head, every leader I meet gets compared to Susan.

Meanwhile, my husband, who is a senior pastor now, worked in logistics at two national warehouses during his first career. He, too, had several bosses during that time, but their leadership style couldn’t have been more different than Susan’s. One in particular was an emotionally volatile man who would rage and scream at the employees, even going so far as to punch the wall beside your head if you were lucky enough to be standing near one. His name was Don. He was demeaning, often referring to his employees as “stupid…” or worse. He worked everyone so hard they didn’t have time to have a life outside of the warehouse, and Don wasn’t interested in it if they did. When they won an award for bringing their department up from last place in the nationwide company to third in the company, Don screamed at them for being the “least best in the top three.” In my husband’s head, every leader he meets gets compared to Don.

The difference between the two leaders? Goodwill.

Goodwill- The Intangible Asset

When we think of “goodwill,” we probably think of the discount thrift store that bears the name, and we wouldn’t necessarily be too far off in that thinking. Goodwill stores were built on the idea that people need a hand up, not a hand-out, and on providing training for those who need tangible workplace skills. When we think of a leader who has goodwill, we are looking at someone who encourages and equips others for the task at hand. The ideas are not dissimilar.

The Replant Bootcamp fellas discussed this idea of “goodwill” in a recent podcast. Jimbo defined goodwill in business as “an intangible, salable asset arising from the reputation of a business and its relations with its customers, distinct from the value of its stock and other tangible assets.” When we bring this definition into our role as Replant pastors and leaders, we have to look at our own measurement of “goodwill.” Simply put, it’s an intangible asset based on our reputation among our people and our relationships with others.

Goodwill and Godly Leadership

The Bible is clear on the qualifications of a pastor (Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3). While the word “goodwill” isn’t mentioned specifically, the idea is there. When we look at what it means to be a Godly leader, we have to look at our level of goodwill among our congregations and our community.

Every pastor is tasked with preaching the Word of God and with shepherding His people. They are all called to exegete scripture and to instruct and guide their people toward a growing relationship with Christ. But while some are gifted in that area, they lack the intangible asset of not being a genuinely nice person. In fact, some of them even come across as jerks.

I’m sure you’ve been around someone like that. He is a gifted and talented communicator, but man… He’s hard to be around. He pokes fun at others. He is rude to the waitstaff when you go to lunch with him. He’s emotionally unstable, and you’re never sure if he’s going to blow up over something. He’s arrogant about success and takes no accountability for failures.

Maybe you have a guy in mind right now.

Maybe someone has you in mind right now.

So how do we evaluate this “intangible” asset in ourselves and find out if we might be lacking in this characteristic of a Godly leader?

What’s Your Score?

There are five basic characteristics we can use to measure goodwill. Let’s break down each of them and see where we stand.

1. A generous spirit. Like Susan in the example above, leaders who have high levels of goodwill will be generous with praise and encouragement. They aren’t hoarding their knowledge to make others feel ignorant, they share it freely. They are always looking for ways to help other people experience “wins,” instead of wishing it was them. The people who serve with them genuinely enjoy their presence. If the audience loves you but the people who serve with you day to day are miserable around you, your lack of goodwill is showing.
2. A high level of Emotional Quotient (EQ). Unlike IQ, which measures your logic and skills, EQ measures your ability to “read the room.” Do you dominate conversations? Are you quick to speak and slow to hear? Are you constantly sharing your own stories instead of hearing someone else’s? Do you give advice before someone asks for it? Are you the first person to speak in meetings or the last? When the people around you are exhausted by being around you, you’ve misread the room.
3. Self-Regulation of your Emotions. I will put this as simply as I can. A pastor cannot be the guy who “blows up” all the time. Are there times you will be angry? Of course. But you can’t be so emotionally volatile that you ruin your goodwill among your congregation. Your family also suffers when you can’t regulate your emotions. If your spouse is scared to talk to you about difficult subjects, or your kids don’t trust you, you’ve lost your goodwill among them. I will also caution that this one, specifically, can ruin your goodwill in the community. I once had a pastor come into my job and yell at me, cursing and berating me the whole time. I will never forget that pastor. Every person in that office won’t, either. And none of my fellow employees will ever attend his church. His measure of “goodwill” in the community is ruined. Don’t be that guy.
4. Providing specific encouragement to others. This is not simply walking around and saying, “Great job, guys!” to everyone who serves with you. Be specific in your praise. A leader with high levels of goodwill won’t give general praise– they actively look for specific reasons to praise the work of God in other people. General praise tends to feel inauthentic after a while. Specific, targeted praise makes other people feel “seen,” and that’s a quality of a Godly leader.
5. Being quick to forgive. Ever known someone who blacklisted others after they hurt him? That guy is awful to be around. He’s held a grudge for so long, everyone else has forgotten what even happened. But a Godly leader knows how much he’s been forgiven by God, so he doesn’t withhold forgiveness from others. Will people let you down and hurt your feelings? Absolutely. But forgiving others depends more on you than on them.

If you’ve read over the last five characteristics of someone with high levels of goodwill and you’ve recognized some areas where you need improvement, take time today to ask God to guide you. If you read over this list and feel confident that you have all of those qualities, ask someone close to you, your spouse or a close friend, to read over it and to honestly let you know where you can improve– after all, that’s what a Godly leader with high goodwill would do.

EP 121 – CHARACTERISTICS OF A GODLY LEADER : HUMILITY

Written on January 12, 2022.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 121 - CHARACTERISTICS OF A GODLY LEADER : HUMILITY

00:00 / 27:06

They bootcamp boys are back talking about the importance of being a godly leader. You’ve probably heard the refrain-everything rises and falls on Leadership-we agree but it’s not always the kind of leadership one might think. We take time to talk about the characteristics of a godly leader which we believe are primary in helping a church, which needs to be Replanted or Revitalized, move forward.

5 Characteristics of Godly Leadership

Humility
Integrity
Respect
Empathy
Goodwill

Remember – the change a church needs is first spiritual before it is strategic or structural.

What are the specific characteristics of a humble godly leader?

Self-awareness
Healthy biblical identity
Holy contentment
God-grounded confidence
Promotion and edification of others

Book recommendations:

Facing the Leviathan by Mark Sayers

The Posture of a Godly Leader by Mark Hallock

Stay tuned as we continue to explore the characteristics of a godly leader in future episodes.

Don’t miss this great event. Am I a Replanter? February 18-19, 2022 in New Orleans at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Registration closes this week.

Get your website in order by calling our friends at One Eighty Digital, they can get you up and running with their expertise. Tell them the boys at the Bootcamp sent you.