Tag: encouragement

Integrity in Leadership- Part Five of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on February 20, 2023.

This is part five of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, Part two, Goodwill, can be found here, Part Three, Empathy, can be found here, and Part Four, Respect, can be found here.

For the past five weeks, we have studied the traits of a Godly leader and the qualities we must have to fulfill God’s calling. This week, we end the series with a characteristic that builds on the other four: Integrity. Integrity is the direct result of having humility, goodwill, empathy, and respect for others– but without integrity, none of the others will do any good.

Failure to Stand

In structural engineering, one of the most important aspects of architecture and building is structural integrity. Without it, a building can be destroyed if a disaster strikes.

In Ancient Rome, an entrepreneur named Atilius set about to build a new amphitheater for patrons to watch gladiator competitions. Atilius was wealthy but opted for a quick and cheap construction. At its completion in 27 AD, the Fidenae Amphiteater was set to hold 50,000 spectators– but due to its lack of structural integrity, the amphitheater collapsed under the weight, resulting in the deaths of over 20,000 people. The integrity couldn’t support the demand.

As replant pastors, we must remember that a lack of integrity won’t show up in the good times of growth and revival. As Carey Nieuwhof writes, “‘Normal’ doesn’t really test your integrity. Crises do. But when a crisis comes, it’s often too late to fix what’s wrong. The damage is happening in real-time.” This is the problem with a lack of integrity– you won’t know you lack it until you need it.

Godly Integrity

Thankfully, God is not silent when it comes to this subject. God’s word speaks directly to the topic of integrity so that we can remain “structurally intact” in times of crisis.

In Matthew 5:37, Jesus tells us, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” In Proverbs 10:9, Solomon reminds us, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. And again in Proverbs 11:3, we read, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Both Job and David are praised by God for their integrity and their uprightness. In Titus 2:6-8, Paul reminds Titus to “Show [himself] in all respects to be a model of good works, and in [his] teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say” about them.

Imperatives for Integrity

There are five imperatives to be a leader with integrity. When we look at these, we have to be willing to examine ourselves and see where we are lacking. Without that examination, we run the very real risk that the next crisis will be the one that exposes our weakness.

Authenticity: As Bob pointed out on the podcast, this word may need a bit of reclamation. Often when someone says they are “being authentic” today, what they typically mean is that they are comfortable with their sin. There is a lack of conviction that allows them to sink to their base level, whether that means using foul language regularly or being too rude in their speech. At our core, we are sinful people, so if being “authentic” means that you aren’t allowing God’s conviction to change you, it’s time to remind yourself that you are still being sanctified. If we look at what it means to be “authentic” in the biblical sense, it means you can be “authenticated” as to your ownership. When people walk away from their encounters with you, do they feel you represented Christ to them? Can they tell that God is the author of your life? Is there evidence to show that you belong to Him? Are you marked by the fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5?
Consistency: Maya Angelou has a great quote on consistency. She said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It really speaks to the idea that we need to accept what people show us through their behavior. But the inverse is true, as well– we are showing our teams and our congregations who we are through our behavior, too. If you are habitually late to meetings, what you’ve displayed is that you don’t value your team’s time. If you consistently fail to respond to messages or to do what you say you will, then you’ve shown others that you aren’t dependable and they shouldn’t rely on you. When you act differently at your vocational job than you do in the pulpit, your reputation is tarnished and you seem inauthentic to others. A leader with integrity is consistent with his behavior.
Tell the truth: This seems self-explanatory, but a leader with integrity has to tell the truth. Like our structural engineering example, if our foundation can’t be trusted, we will fall. All of us have heard stories of pastors whose private life proved their public persona to be a lie. While they preached a good Word, they lived a lie of infidelity and abuse. Lying erodes trust. If you can’t be trusted to tell the truth, then you can’t be trusted to lead well. When you lie, you encourage other people to lie to you, as well. Telling the truth keeps you accountable to others.
Seeks feedback: A leader with integrity is looking for ways to grow and change. They never see themselves as the smartest person in the room, because they know that everyone has blind spots to things. By definition, a blind spot is something you can’t see yourself, you must ask others to help you. Proverbs 12:1 tells us, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (Don’t get mad at me, God said it.) Leaders with integrity look for accountability. I have a small circle of people that I trust to challenge me and help me grow. Any one of those people have access and authority in my life to tell me when I’m headed in the wrong direction.
Trustworthiness: If you look back at our journey through the five characteristics of Godly leaders and the five imperatives that go with each one, you will find that they all add up to this final character trait, being trustworthy. Can your church trust you? Can your spouse? Can your team? You may think immediately, yes, of course, but can I challenge you? Ask them. Ask them if they feel that you are trustworthy. Do they feel that you have the integrity you need to withstand the strong winds and weight of a crisis? Do they feel that they are safe with you as the leader? (If they are too scared to answer the question, then they have answered the question.)

Summing it Up

As we’ve studied the five characteristics of a Godly leader, we can see how each builds on the next. The fruit of godly leadership is best summed up by Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul says, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness (goodwill toward others), with patience (empathy for others), bearing with one another in love (respecting others), eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit (integrity) in the bond of peace.” (ESV, italics mine)

When we look at these traits, we may be quick to assume we are doing well in each of them. But I encourage you to remember that a crisis for your church may only be one phone call away. There is too much to lose to take these imperatives lightly. We are in a battle for eternity, and when the battle gets intense, will we be left standing?

Respect in Leadership- Part Four of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on February 13, 2023.

R-e-s-p-e-c-t

This is part four of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, Part two, Goodwill, can be found here, and Part Three, Empathy, can be found here.

My husband started his ministry as a Youth Pastor. We loved working with youth. We found them to be hungry for the Gospel and for truth, and we genuinely enjoyed their goofy immaturity, especially as they tried so hard to be “adults.” We learned so much from the youth we served, but one lesson specifically sticks with us: the difference between positional authority and relational authority.

In positional authority, you have a person’s respect because of your position in their life. As adults, we are used to this authority because most of us have employers who are in the position to speak authoritatively in our lives. Many of us were also raised by parents who expected this type of respect. But in this generation, there is more value placed on relational authority, where a person’s respect is based on your relationship to them. You can’t speak authoritatively in their life unless they value your relationship with them.

We had many adults who volunteered in youth ministry who felt that the youth would respect them because they were parents or teachers, or simply because they were older– positional authority. But what we found is that teenagers responded much better to relational authority. We could earn their respect and the ability to speak truth in love to them when we had a relationship with them. Without it, we were just another adult annoying them with rules and expectations.

Watching this generational switch showed us something: leaders have to show respect to others before they can ever earn the respect of others.

Find Out What it Means to Me

Thankfully, God is not silent on the issue of respecting others. In Romans 12:10, Paul tells us that not only are we to love one another, we should “outdo one another in showing honor.” (ESV, italics mine) We are to respect each other more and more, almost as though respecting each other is a competition we are seeking to win. In 1 Peter, Peter tells us we must respect not only the good and gentle, but also the unjust (1 Peter 2:16-18). And in Matthew 22, Jesus himself instructs us that the greatest commandment is to love God, but the second is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Mankind is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), so when we are respecting others and honoring them, we are respecting Him. Thus the inverse is true– when we disrespect others, we have disrespected the image of God in them. This goes not only for how we treat people with our actions, but especially how we treat people with our words. Ephesians 4 reminds us that we are called to “bear with one another” in an effort to always strive toward unity. When we disrespect others through gossip or slander, we have failed to speak only what is “good for building up” and what gives grace to those who hear us. We must remember that respecting someone isn’t just about our treatment of them when they are around us, it’s also how we speak about them when they aren’t present.

Take Care (TCB)

In case you can’t tell, I haven’t been able to write this blog post without Aretha Franklin demanding respect in my head. I have always wondered what “TCB” meant, and after doing some research I found out it was her shorthand for “take care of business.” So here’s where we as leaders take care of the business of respecting others. There are five imperatives that we must follow if we are going to show the respect to others that we must as Godly leaders.

Honor Others– When someone leaves a conversation with you, do you think they felt honored? Did you respect them as a fellow Christ bearer? Did you treat them with kindness or did you dismiss them with arrogance? A leader who shows respect to others will seek to serve others. How are you serving your team?
Open Communication– Be intentional about how you speak to others. Your words have power, so what are they saying? Are you respectful in how you speak to people? In a recent podcast, Bob pointed out that honoring someone can even mean speaking in a way that honors their expectations toward change. While a visionary leader may want to say, “Let’s do XYZ,” someone who respects others will say, “What do you think about XYZ?” Communicating in a way that honors the opinions of those around you is a way to show that you respect their ideas.
Disagree Productively– While you will certainly have times that you disagree with people, respecting them means that you remember the end goal is always unity. Romans 14 and 15 give us Godly ways to disagree with someone without disrespecting them. Instead of responding to disagreements with personal attacks, we need to ask questions and seek to understand why the other person sees it differently.
Help Others Win– When we respect others, we value what they value. We don’t merely cheer them on, we actively encourage them, assisting in their ideas and goals where we can. We get excited when they win, not jealous or bitter. We respect their passions and hobbies. We show up for them.
Express Gratitude– The people you serve in your congregation aren’t there because they have to be. While you do have positional authority as the Pastor, you must also cultivate relational authority by remembering that they have chosen to be a part of the church family that God is creating. You respect that choice by being grateful for them and for their contributions. Express that gratitude in various ways– not just verbally, but in writing or in small tokens of appreciation.

Respect- Just a Little Bit

George Foreman once wrote, “Without appreciation and respect for other people, true leadership becomes ineffective, if not impossible.” It’s not enough to merely have positional authority as Godly leaders. We must build relationships on mutual respect to be able to be effective leaders who can speak the truth (in love) to our congregations. We must learn to treat others the way we want to be treated, giving them grace and honoring their story.

Leaders who lead from a place of authority lead people to fear them more than respect them. True respect comes when a team can come together as a family and can acknowledge each person’s value within it, even when they disagree.

For further reading on Respect as a Godly Leader, see Designed to Lead by Erik Geiger, this episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, and this article on the need for Pastors to respect their congregations.

Empathy in Leadership- Part Three of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on February 6, 2023.

Empathy

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, and Part two, Goodwill, can be found here.

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test? I took one early in my spiritual journey. While I was excited that I scored well for the gifts of exhortation and teaching, I was shocked to realize I scored very low in mercy and empathy. Out of a possible 100 points, I scored a FOUR in the gift of mercy. A FOUR. It doesn’t take a math wiz to realize that a 4 out of 100 would be a failing score on any test.

I asked a mentor if she could help me understand how I could be gifted at exhortation (insinuating that I am an encourager by nature) but score so low in mercy and empathy and she put it this way:

Two people are walking one day and see a third person stuck in a deep pit. The person gifted in exhortation calls down and says, “Hey! How’d you get stuck in this pit?” The person answers, “I’m not sure. I’m just here and can’t get out!” The Encourager says, “Hang on! I can help! I’m going to go get a ladder so we can get you out!” When she comes back with the ladder, two people are in the pit. She calls down, “Hey! Why did you get in the pit with them?” And the other person says, “Well, I saw they were alone and I knew I could help by sitting with them in the dark.”

My mentor said, “You are the person getting the ladder. You have sympathy and want to fix the problem. But the person who crawls into the pit with them? That person has empathy.”

I knew I needed to develop better empathy skills if I wanted to lead like Jesus. In a recent Replant Bootcamp podcast episode, JimBob discussed this invaluable characteristic of a Godly leader and the difference it can make in the life of a replant pastor.

The Definition of Empathy

There is pushback in some circles toward the idea of “empathy” toward others in a pastoral context. We seem to sometimes equate it with “acceptance” of a person’s actions. Unfortunately, this not only mis-defines empathy, it misses an important aspect of mercy in our ministry to others. Empathy, by definition, is not ignoring the actions that brought someone to where they are– it is putting yourself in their shoes and feeling their pain as though it were your own.

Some of us have also equated empathy with sympathy. But, again, we miss the definition of both when we conflate the two. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Empathy says, “I am with you in this pain and this is happening to us.” Sympathy allows you a lesser sense of involvement because it allows you to stay removed from the pain of another person.

A third definition is helpful here, too, when we look at empathy. Compassion is empathy in action. You are so motivated by the pain of someone else that it moves you toward action. This response can be difficult for those of us who were never shown compassion from our parents. If the reply to your pain was an exasperated parent saying, “Well if you hadn’t done XYZ, then this wouldn’t have happened.“ Or “get over it. You’re fine,” you are going to find it very difficult to come to a place of empathy with others. Likewise, if you had a very emotional parent who made your pain more about them than about you, you will likely have a hard time dealing with being empathetic toward someone else’s emotional pain. You have not had empathy modeled for you, so it will be hard to understand why you need to give it to others.

The Demand for Empathy

While all pastors should practice empathy as they counsel and work with the people their team, replant pastors have a unique role to play as they serve. In a replant, there are likely to be two issues that demand we respond with empathy. The first is the propensity toward change in a replant. In a separate blog and podcast, the Replant Bootcamp team discussed the emotional cycle of change. As you guide your church through transformation, empathy helps you seek to not only understand negative pushback toward change, but also to navigate through someone’s emotional response to it. The second issue a replant pastor faces is the need to reach the community around them. The experiences in the surrounding community may be very different from your own. Your response to their pain must be from a place of understanding and empathy. People who are hurting need to hear and know that you care and have compassion for them so that they can hear the hope of the Gospel.

This isn’t a new idea. This characteristic of compassion and empathy is modeled in the way Jesus saw and ministered to people. Jesus repeatedly felt compassion toward people and moved to action by his care for them.

In Mark 1:41, the Bible tells us Jesus was “moved with pity” as he healed a leper. In Mark 6:34, he “had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd and he began to teach them many things.” In Mark 8:2, Jesus states that he “had compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.” He then directs his disciples to feed the crowd. In Luke 7:13, Jesus heals the widow’s son after having compassion on her and saying, “do not weep.” And in both the parable of the good Samaritan and the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus states that the character’s actions came from a place of compassion and empathy for the person in need.

Jesus consistently treated people with empathy, and his compassion moved him toward action. He didn’t condone their sin or become frustrated with it. He simply cared about them enough to show them grace and mercy so that they could hear and receive the ultimate answer to their needs– the Gospel.

The Development of Empathy

Fortunately for me, failing in the area of mercy and empathy doesn’t have to be a permanent position. Empathy is a skill any leader can develop with time. There are 5 ways that you can become more empathetic toward the people you serve:

1. Be fully present. The people you serve need to know that they are important to you. Give them your full attention.
2. Be an active listener. Engage people and actively listen to their stories. You may want to put your phone down and exercise curiosity. Ask about their perspective and their background. What led them to this moment? What experiences have they had?
3. Suspend judgment. Seek to understand where someone is coming from before you make judgments about them. Remember their experiences have informed their emotions and actions, and their experience may be different than yours.
4. Create compassionate understanding. Before you attempt to “solve” an issue, try to understand the other person’s perspective on it. Be compassionate as you try to help them move toward resolution.
5. Practice proactive caring. Meet the person’s needs as you’re able to, whether that’s being actively involved in meeting physical needs, or simply sitting with them as they need you.

When we practice Godly empathy, we are modeling Christ’s compassion for others. To truly be a godly leader, one must be willing to sit with someone else’s pain the way He did. Jesus allowed himself to be moved into someone else’s pain, even to the point of weeping with them or over them.

Sit in the pit with the person, and then crawl out together. You’ll both be grateful you did.

Some resources on Empathy are this article by Daniel Harrison and this blog post by Scot McKnight.

Goodwill in Leadership– Part Two of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on January 30, 2023.

Goodwill

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here.

A Tale of Two Bosses

Today, I am a veterinary technician (aka an animal nurse). But my first career was in finance. Over the course of fifteen years, I was a teller, Customer Service Representative, Loan Officer, and at my last position, a Branch Manager. I had many bosses in that time, but my favorite was Susan, the Lead Teller at my first job. Susan was incredible. She was the type of person that made you feel like you were capable of anything. She listened if we voiced concerns over a new policy or if we were confused about a new product. She knew all the answers, but never made us feel ignorant for asking questions. Susan was genuinely interested in our lives outside of work, and always made it a point to remember our family events like birthdays and anniversaries. She celebrated us as a team and never took credit for our achievements, even though many times it was her sales that made the difference in us winning or losing. In my head, every leader I meet gets compared to Susan.

Meanwhile, my husband, who is a senior pastor now, worked in logistics at two national warehouses during his first career. He, too, had several bosses during that time, but their leadership style couldn’t have been more different than Susan’s. One in particular was an emotionally volatile man who would rage and scream at the employees, even going so far as to punch the wall beside your head if you were lucky enough to be standing near one. His name was Don. He was demeaning, often referring to his employees as “stupid…” or worse. He worked everyone so hard they didn’t have time to have a life outside of the warehouse, and Don wasn’t interested in it if they did. When they won an award for bringing their department up from last place in the nationwide company to third in the company, Don screamed at them for being the “least best in the top three.” In my husband’s head, every leader he meets gets compared to Don.

The difference between the two leaders? Goodwill.

Goodwill- The Intangible Asset

When we think of “goodwill,” we probably think of the discount thrift store that bears the name, and we wouldn’t necessarily be too far off in that thinking. Goodwill stores were built on the idea that people need a hand up, not a hand-out, and on providing training for those who need tangible workplace skills. When we think of a leader who has goodwill, we are looking at someone who encourages and equips others for the task at hand. The ideas are not dissimilar.

The Replant Bootcamp fellas discussed this idea of “goodwill” in a recent podcast. Jimbo defined goodwill in business as “an intangible, salable asset arising from the reputation of a business and its relations with its customers, distinct from the value of its stock and other tangible assets.” When we bring this definition into our role as Replant pastors and leaders, we have to look at our own measurement of “goodwill.” Simply put, it’s an intangible asset based on our reputation among our people and our relationships with others.

Goodwill and Godly Leadership

The Bible is clear on the qualifications of a pastor (Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3). While the word “goodwill” isn’t mentioned specifically, the idea is there. When we look at what it means to be a Godly leader, we have to look at our level of goodwill among our congregations and our community.

Every pastor is tasked with preaching the Word of God and with shepherding His people. They are all called to exegete scripture and to instruct and guide their people toward a growing relationship with Christ. But while some are gifted in that area, they lack the intangible asset of not being a genuinely nice person. In fact, some of them even come across as jerks.

I’m sure you’ve been around someone like that. He is a gifted and talented communicator, but man… He’s hard to be around. He pokes fun at others. He is rude to the waitstaff when you go to lunch with him. He’s emotionally unstable, and you’re never sure if he’s going to blow up over something. He’s arrogant about success and takes no accountability for failures.

Maybe you have a guy in mind right now.

Maybe someone has you in mind right now.

So how do we evaluate this “intangible” asset in ourselves and find out if we might be lacking in this characteristic of a Godly leader?

What’s Your Score?

There are five basic characteristics we can use to measure goodwill. Let’s break down each of them and see where we stand.

1. A generous spirit. Like Susan in the example above, leaders who have high levels of goodwill will be generous with praise and encouragement. They aren’t hoarding their knowledge to make others feel ignorant, they share it freely. They are always looking for ways to help other people experience “wins,” instead of wishing it was them. The people who serve with them genuinely enjoy their presence. If the audience loves you but the people who serve with you day to day are miserable around you, your lack of goodwill is showing.
2. A high level of Emotional Quotient (EQ). Unlike IQ, which measures your logic and skills, EQ measures your ability to “read the room.” Do you dominate conversations? Are you quick to speak and slow to hear? Are you constantly sharing your own stories instead of hearing someone else’s? Do you give advice before someone asks for it? Are you the first person to speak in meetings or the last? When the people around you are exhausted by being around you, you’ve misread the room.
3. Self-Regulation of your Emotions. I will put this as simply as I can. A pastor cannot be the guy who “blows up” all the time. Are there times you will be angry? Of course. But you can’t be so emotionally volatile that you ruin your goodwill among your congregation. Your family also suffers when you can’t regulate your emotions. If your spouse is scared to talk to you about difficult subjects, or your kids don’t trust you, you’ve lost your goodwill among them. I will also caution that this one, specifically, can ruin your goodwill in the community. I once had a pastor come into my job and yell at me, cursing and berating me the whole time. I will never forget that pastor. Every person in that office won’t, either. And none of my fellow employees will ever attend his church. His measure of “goodwill” in the community is ruined. Don’t be that guy.
4. Providing specific encouragement to others. This is not simply walking around and saying, “Great job, guys!” to everyone who serves with you. Be specific in your praise. A leader with high levels of goodwill won’t give general praise– they actively look for specific reasons to praise the work of God in other people. General praise tends to feel inauthentic after a while. Specific, targeted praise makes other people feel “seen,” and that’s a quality of a Godly leader.
5. Being quick to forgive. Ever known someone who blacklisted others after they hurt him? That guy is awful to be around. He’s held a grudge for so long, everyone else has forgotten what even happened. But a Godly leader knows how much he’s been forgiven by God, so he doesn’t withhold forgiveness from others. Will people let you down and hurt your feelings? Absolutely. But forgiving others depends more on you than on them.

If you’ve read over the last five characteristics of someone with high levels of goodwill and you’ve recognized some areas where you need improvement, take time today to ask God to guide you. If you read over this list and feel confident that you have all of those qualities, ask someone close to you, your spouse or a close friend, to read over it and to honestly let you know where you can improve– after all, that’s what a Godly leader with high goodwill would do.

Thank you, God, for the Fleas

Written on November 28, 2022.

‘Tis the season for Thankfulness.

As I write this blog post, we have just finished the biggest meal of the year. There are only six of us gathered around our table, but I cook like there will be 20. This year we had four appetizers, three meats, seven sides, and five desserts. It will take several days to finish leftovers, and we will all gain several pounds trying to do so, and we will vow that we hate all of these foods and can’t stand to eat any more of them… until Christmas Day, when we do it all again.

Before anyone is too impressed with me, I will come clean and tell you that I will save up all of my cooking skills for this one day and then turn them off again. For the record, I hate cooking. It stresses me out– the timing of everything, things getting cold while heating up others. Every year I forget the bread until everything else is ready and then have to hold the meal until it’s finished. I worry about having enough dishes and serving spoons, and the thought of DOING those dishes… Yuck. The anxiety is enough to make me go to Cracker Barrel and call it a day. It’s only the lack of leftovers and my family’s protests of that plan that makes me get up at the crack of dawn and start cooking the massive meal. And don’t even get me started on going to someone else’s house– the one (and ONLY) time we did that, my son threw a football in their house and broke the hand painted family portrait hanging above their fireplace. We were ushered out rather quickly after that.

But I digress.

Several years ago, I tried to start a tradition of going around the table and having each person say what they were thankful for. I think I saw a good, Christian family post about it on Facebook and I figured we were a good, Christian family so we should do that, too. Unfortunately, my teenage children were in their peak-sarcasm years and it turned into a game of “See how quickly you can get mom to stop this.” Let me put it this way– I didn’t post their responses on Facebook.

The truth is, sometimes when people start talking about thankfulness and gratitude, I find myself very much like my teenagers were that holiday– surly and sullen, filled with frustration at the things I don’t have and discontent with what I do have. I find it difficult to say what I’m grateful for when I am filled with discouragement.

In last year’s Thanksgiving podcast, Jimbo discussed how a story from Corrie ten Boom’s time in a concentration camp helped to remind him why it’s important to be thankful in all circumstances. You can read the complete story here, but the summary is basically this: Corrie and her sister Betsy discuss how on earth they could possibly live through their time in the concentration camp, a place filled with discouragement and hopelessness. Betsy reminds Corrie that 1 Thessalonians 5:14-21 tells them how to live, especially verse 18: “Give thanks in all circumstances.” So they begin to list the things they are thankful for, including their togetherness, their ability to have their Bible, their close proximity to the other prisoners who were also hearing the Gospel. But then Betsy goes so far as to be thankful for the fleas that are tormenting them day and night. Corrie protests, but Betsy reminds her that it is the fleas which keep the guards away and allow them to read and proclaim the Word of God. Without them, the girls might be punished and separated.

Sometimes I feel like Corrie. Surely God doesn’t expect me to be thankful for the fleas in my life– those tormenting people who seem to have nothing positive to say, that bill that came when the money didn’t, the lack of spiritual (or numerical) growth in our church, the leak in the baptistry that comes on the heels of the leak in the children’s area. Surely when God says, “be thankful in all circumstances,” He doesn’t mean these circumstances. I see people post about being “#blessed” but I find myself wondering why we’re only “blessed” when things are going right– what about those I see who are desperate and hurting– are they blessed? How can we be blessed when everything around us seems to be going wrong? How can I be grateful for the problems I face and the mounting discouragement?

Then the Holy Spirit prods me toward another Scripture: Philippians 4:11. Sure, Philippians 4:13 gets all the glory, but why was Paul able to say that he could do all things through Christ who strengthened him? Because of verse 11. He had learned to be content in all things, in whatever situation he faced. His ability to be content in all things fostered his ability to do his ministry without the confines of frustration and discouragement.

Perhaps you have struggled this year with finding joy this season and feeling grateful for where God has placed you. Pastor, can I encourage you? Think of the “fleas” in your own life– the situations, people, or nagging problems that discourage you. Instead of asking God to deliver you from them, ask God what He is trying to teach you through it. Instead of desiring to push “fast forward” through this time in your ministry, push “pause.” Sit with it for a moment and see where God is leading you to be content in the circumstance and then ask Him to show you how to be thankful for it.

And then, when you go around the table and say what you’re thankful for, maybe your responses will be worthy of a social media post. At the very least, maybe your mom won’t write about it in a blog post several years later.

*On a personal note, I would just like to say that I am grateful to each of you for reading these blog posts. I pray that they encourage and exhort you for your ministry. I am also grateful to Bob, Jimbo, and everyone at NAMB for the opportunity to write and share my heart with each of you. Thankful for the past and looking forward to the future!- Erin*

Plagued by Discouragement? I Know the Cure.

Written on November 21, 2022.

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine about all of the struggles and concerns she was facing. Her job was going through a stressful transition, her parent’s health was declining, she had financial issues that resulted in much anxiety for her future, and her children were experiencing separate crises of their own. At one point in her conversation she sighed and buried her head in her hands and said, “I’m just so tired.”

But here’s the thing– despite all of her anxieties, she was getting plenty of sleep. She wasn’t physically tired. She was disheartened and dispirited. She was discouraged. She was working hard and she was taking care of so many people, and she was feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances that she felt exhausted in her soul.

I am sure that many readers can see themselves in this person. Pastors in general can feel discouragement from a variety of sources– the Monday morning inbox with a complaint about the sermon, the member who decides to go elsewhere with seemingly no real reason, the stress of his family living in a “fishbowl,” the burden of caring for everyone else. But replant pastors are susceptible to an even greater level of discouragement. For a replant pastor, the lack of resources can be a huge discouragement. A lack of funds, people, time, and materials can make changes go slow but frustrations run high. Many pastors are plagued by discouragement.

It’s an Epidemic

This plague of discouragement is not new. In the first century, Augustine of Hippo wrote a passage on how to overcome discouragement to his fellow colleagues in the faith. And yet, here we are, 2000 years later, and a Barna study recently revealed that the number of pastors who have seriously considered giving up their ministry sits at 42%, an increase of almost 15% in just the last year. Even among the pastors who haven’t considered quitting, a large percentage are facing burnout, stress, and isolation (see a separate post on pastoral friendships on why isolation is dangerous to your ministry). If almost 50% of pastors are so discouraged they are thinking of leaving the ministry, it’s not a small issue. It’s an epidemic.

In my own life, I have seen countless pastors, specifically replant pastors, face battles with depression and discouragement. Pastors who entered their replant bursting with ideas and excitement, ready to breathe life into their congregation and into their church. Within a couple of years, many of these same men (and their families) are feeling beat down and beat up. They don’t feel effective in their ministry, they are exhausted, and they are working as hard as possible not to drown under the weight of expectations.

What is the cure?

I have good news.

There is a cure for discouragement. It’s actually almost in the very word discouragement. Can you guess? The cure for discouragement is… encouragement. That’s right, the cure for the feelings of despair, frustration, and exhaustion, is to feel hope, to have support, and to inspire confidence.

But how? How can we get from one to the other?

Way back in episode 11, Jimbo and Bob (JIMBOB) helped us to answer that question with their most encouraging friend, Mark Hallock. Mark is one of the most encouraging people on the planet. If you’ve met him in person, you already know this, because you’ve probably experienced the “Hallock Hug.” There is a reason he’s referred to as “Happy Huggy Hallock.”

In the episode, the fellas discuss encouragement as it relates to Mark’s book, The Relentless Encourager. Mark points out that many of us have encouraging thoughts, but we don’t allow them to become words. So instead of our encouragement blessing another person, it’s just another thought, no more or less than what to buy at the grocery store later. We are often guilty of forgetting to encourage others, especially as we are feeling discouraged and frustrated. We are not intentional about making sure our encouraging thoughts become words and actions. We may even feel some insecurity or pride that won’t allow us to admit when someone else is doing a job well. But that attitude costs us.

The added supplement

Encouragement for others is like a glass of cold water to a parched soul– and not only to theirs, but to ours, as well. Telling someone about the difference they make in your life and lifting them up creates in us another powerful combatant to discouragement: Gratitude.

Have you ever seen a photo negative? It is the same picture, but it is distorted because the focus is on the wrong thing. We experience this when we are so discouraged we only see the negative. When there is a lack of resources, the discouraged heart sees only what it lacks. But the encouraging heart looks for those doing much with little, and in encouraging them, the encouraging heart becomes the grateful heart.

Perhaps you are wondering how you can possibly encourage someone else when you are feeling discouraged yourself. Maybe you’re even wondering why you should, since no one seems to be intent on encouraging you. (I won’t judge you for that! I’ve had that same feeling!) But the truth is, we are never more like Christ than when we see people as God sees them and we encourage them in their walk. Even as Jesus was discouraged to the point of sweating drops of blood in the garden, He prayed for his disciples’ encouragement (John 17). When we look for the ways we can express encouragement to others, we are looking for the positive in them. We are loving our neighbor and our enemy better when we seek to encourage them, and this, in turn, makes us thankful for them.

This thankfulness and gratitude cultivates an environment of encouragement to the church. Can you imagine the difference your church could make in the community if you became known as the church where people are encouraging and thankful? If you were known as a place people could come out of the darkness and experience light and hope? How can we facilitate that attitude in our churches if we don’t have it ourselves?

A replant pastor needs to breed thankfulness in his congregation. To do that, he must first be grateful. Instead of focusing on the frustrations and the negatives, he must look at what God is doing in the church. God is not done with your church, nor with you! Look at all you can be thankful for:

God has called you to raise dying churches and to reach the faithful– what an incredible calling! What an incredible opportunity to see growth and change!
You can be thankful you are preaching faithfully– you are doing your part, and you know you serve a faithful God who will do His!
You get to reach people with the Gospel– I am always in awe that God uses such a flawed vessel for His Kingdom purposes! So blessed to have been even a small part in someone’s journey toward redemption and grace!

Think about your church. The struggles, yes, but I bet there have been successes, too! I am sure that while there may be some “grumpies,” there are probably more faith-filled believers who stand excited and ready to see their church thrive again. Yes, there is probably a lack of money– but God can do much with little and you are learning to trust Him in that process!

Now, think of the people who are standing with you. The friends, family members, church members, fellow pastors– have you thanked them? Have you encouraged them? Have you sought to tell them the difference it makes in your life to have them stand with you in your struggles?

This is how we defeat discouragement.

We look for the positive in others and encourage them, and then we cultivate a heart of thankfulness and gratitude for them.

Go seek someone to encourage today.

EP 142 – ENCOURAGE THE STEADFAST

Written on June 8, 2022.

Replant Bootcamp

EP 142 - ENCOURAGE THE STEADFAST

00:00 / 25:23

Hey there Bootcampers, thanks for joining us this week. Jimbo’s back with a great report on his sister and her surgery and many thanks for keeping her and his family in prayer this last week.

Today we turn our attention toward something we all need, encouragement. Specifically, there are people in every Replant and Revitalization who stayed the course, kept things moving in the right direction. Fought the hard battles which were necessary to ensure the church had a future. People like that have seen others leave the church, many times even their life long friends.

Here are four reasons to encourage the Steadfast

They need it. Proverbs 11:25
They have done good, hard work. Ephesians 4:3
They have endured loss. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Encouraging words are valuable and a blessing. Proverbs 25:11

Take the 30 day Encouragement Challenge and find some one to specifically encourage every day. Let us know how that goes, and let us know the difference it makes.

Mentioned in the Show

The Relentless Encourager

Be a Barnabas

Tacos for Life

EPISODE #75 – STAYING ENCOURAGED AS A PASTOR

Written on February 23, 2021.

Replant Bootcamp

EPISODE #75 - STAYING ENCOURAGED AS A PASTOR

00:00 / 23:49

This week the guys welcome to the bootcamp a long time Replanting friend, Pastor Mark Hallock, of the Calvary family of Churches in Denver Colorado. The guys spend time talking about how to be encouraged as a Pastor during this difficult season we find ourselves in.

Key takeaways:

Every person needs more encouragement than they get!
Pastor-you must stay encouraged yourself!
- Think on Godly things (Philippians 4:8)
- Guard against the overindulgence of ministry and media
- Get outside in God’s creation!
- Spend time in personal worship
- Engage in edifying conversations
- Spend time in prayer
Encourage those around you
- Be intentional and consistent in your communication with your leaders
- Practice Macro and Micro Shepherding
  - Micro-one to one (texts, phone calls etc.)
  - Macro-entire congregation
- Pray for and feed the flock God’s word
- Get back to the basics of pastoring your people
- Trust the Lord and ask him to give you Joy

Start the Barnabas Challenge: encourage three people everyday. This will transform your congregation-it is powerful when a church becomes an encouraging church.

Get the website help you need, connect with our great sponsor One Eighty Digital they’ll get you up and running in the right direction.

Show notes powered by Descript are an approximation of the verbal content, consult podcast audio for accuracy

Episode #11 – Thankfulness and Encouragement with Mark Hallock

Written on November 27, 2019.

Replant Bootcamp

Episode #11 - Thankfulness and Encouragement with Mark Hallock

00:00 / 21:45

Mark Hallock Lead Pastor, The Calvary Family of Churches, Englewood Baptist Church

In Replanting you can be thankful that

God has called you to the mission of seeing churches raised from the dead
You have been called to preach the word
You have been placed in a particular community that needs to hear the gospel

The last thing a church needs is a thankless pastor!

How to cultivate thankfulness

Your personal devotion life is key-being in the word everyday.
Remember and be amazed at how you have been saved by Jesus!

The Relentless Encourager by Mark Hallock and Scott Iken

Encouragement is a differentiator that makes you want to follow a leader!
The warmth and love that is experienced through encouragement creates a response to the one who exhibits it from an authentic life.

Best Hallock Quote of the Show:

“Many of us have encouraging thoughts, but we don’t let those translate into encouraging words. Until encouragement flows from my tongue to your ear it’s not encouragement. It’s just a nice thought that you had that no one is blessed by.” -Mark Hallock

What keeps us from encouraging others?

Lack of intentionality
Laziness
Pride (especially in leaders)
Insecurity

Being an effective leader in a small dying church is different than serving in a large church, this is why warmth, hugs, encouragement and healthy touch are important to bring about a new culture.

In the early days of a Replant-just about everyone is discouraged! It so important to be an encourager!

Notable Quotes from Mark:

“What you bleed as a leader, is what your people will bleed in time.”

“The culture of a dying church is changed by the encouragement and love of the leader.”

“You can’t fake being a loving encouraging person for long! You need to beg God to make you an encouraging person.”

“The lack of encouragement is robbing you and others of joy!”

“Being an encourager is like Christmas everyday!”

Mark’s Children’s book: Our Great God!

Other books by Mark Hallock