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Definition of Respect

Respect in Leadership- Part Four of the Godly Leadership Series

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R-e-s-p-e-c-t

This is part four of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, Part two, Goodwill, can be found here, and Part Three, Empathy, can be found here.

My husband started his ministry as a Youth Pastor.  We loved working with youth.  We found them to be hungry for the Gospel and for truth, and we genuinely enjoyed their goofy immaturity, especially as they tried so hard to be “adults.” We learned so much from the youth we served, but one lesson specifically sticks with us: the difference between positional authority and relational authority.

In positional authority, you have a person’s respect because of your position in their life.  As adults, we are used to this authority because most of us have employers who are in the position to speak authoritatively in our lives. Many of us were also raised by parents who expected this type of respect. But in this generation, there is more value placed on relational authority, where a person’s respect is based on your relationship to them.  You can’t speak authoritatively in their life unless they value your relationship with them.

We had many adults who volunteered in youth ministry who felt that the youth would respect them because they were parents or teachers, or simply because they were older– positional authority. But what we found is that teenagers responded much better to relational authority.  We could earn their respect and the ability to speak truth in love to them when we had a relationship with them.  Without it, we were just another adult annoying them with rules and expectations.

Watching this generational switch showed us something: leaders have to show respect to others before they can ever earn the respect of others. 

Find Out What it Means to Me

Thankfully, God is not silent on the issue of respecting others.  In Romans 12:10, Paul tells us that not only are we to love one another, we should “outdo one another in showing honor.” (ESV, italics mine) We are to respect each other more and more, almost as though respecting each other is a competition we are seeking to win. In 1 Peter, Peter tells us we must respect not only the good and gentle, but also the unjust (1 Peter 2:16-18). And in Matthew 22, Jesus himself instructs us that the greatest commandment is to love God, but the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. 

Mankind is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), so when we are respecting others and honoring them, we are respecting Him. Thus the inverse is true– when we disrespect others, we have disrespected the image of God in them. This goes not only for how we treat people with our actions, but especially how we treat people with our words.  Ephesians 4 reminds us that we are called to “bear with one another” in an effort to always strive toward unity.  When we disrespect others through gossip or slander, we have failed to speak only what is “good for building up” and what gives grace to those who hear us. We must remember that respecting someone isn’t just about our treatment of them when they are around us, it’s also how we speak about them when they aren’t present.

two men shaking hands

Take Care (TCB)

In case you can’t tell, I haven’t been able to write this blog post without Aretha Franklin demanding respect in my head. I have always wondered what “TCB” meant, and after doing some research I found out it was her shorthand for “take care of business.” So here’s where we as leaders take care of the business of respecting others. There are five imperatives that we must follow if we are going to show the respect to others that we must as Godly leaders.

  1. Honor Others–  When someone leaves a conversation with you, do you think they felt honored? Did you respect them as a fellow Christ bearer?  Did you treat them with kindness or did you dismiss them with arrogance? A leader who shows respect to others will seek to serve others. How are you serving your team?
  2. Open Communication– Be intentional about how you speak to others. Your words have power, so what are they saying?  Are you respectful in how you speak to people? In a recent podcast, Bob pointed out that honoring someone can even mean speaking in a way that honors their expectations toward change. While a visionary leader may want to say, “Let’s do XYZ,” someone who respects others will say, “What do you think about XYZ?” Communicating in a way that honors the opinions of those around you is a way to show that you respect their ideas.
  3. Disagree Productively– While you will certainly have times that you disagree with people, respecting them means that you remember the end goal is always unity. Romans 14 and 15 give us Godly ways to disagree with someone without disrespecting them. Instead of responding to disagreements with personal attacks, we need to ask questions and seek to understand why the other person sees it differently.
  4. Help Others Win– When we respect others, we value what they value.  We don’t merely cheer them on, we actively encourage them, assisting in their ideas and goals where we can.  We get excited when they win, not jealous or bitter.  We respect their passions and hobbies.  We show up for them.
  5. Express Gratitude– The people you serve in your congregation aren’t there because they have to be. While you do have positional authority as the Pastor, you must also cultivate relational authority by remembering that they have chosen to be a part of the church family that God is creating.  You respect that choice by being grateful for them and for their contributions. Express that gratitude in various ways– not just verbally, but in writing or in small tokens of appreciation.

Respect- Just a Little Bit

George Foreman once wrote, “Without appreciation and respect for other people, true leadership becomes ineffective, if not impossible.” It’s not enough to merely have positional authority as Godly leaders.  We must build relationships on mutual respect to be able to be effective leaders who can speak the truth (in love) to our congregations. We must learn to treat others the way we want to be treated, giving them grace and honoring their story. 

Leaders who lead from a place of authority lead people to fear them more than respect them. True respect comes when a team can come together as a family and can acknowledge each person’s value within it, even when they disagree. 

For further reading on Respect as a Godly Leader, see Designed to Lead by Erik Geiger, this episode of the Replant Bootcamp podcast, and this article on the need for Pastors to respect their congregations.

definition of empathy

Empathy in Leadership- Part Three of the Godly Leadership Series

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Empathy

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, and Part two, Goodwill, can be found here.

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test?  I took one early in my spiritual journey. While I was excited that I scored well for the gifts of exhortation and teaching, I was shocked to realize I scored very low in mercy and empathy.  Out of a possible 100 points, I scored a FOUR in the gift of mercy. A FOUR. It doesn’t take a math wiz to realize that a 4 out of 100 would be a failing score on any test.

I asked a mentor if she could help me understand how I could be gifted at exhortation (insinuating that I am an encourager by nature) but score so low in mercy and empathy and she put it this way: 

Two people are walking one day and see a third person stuck in a deep pit.  The person gifted in exhortation calls down and says, “Hey!  How’d you get stuck in this pit?” The person answers, “I’m not sure.  I’m just here and can’t get out!” The Encourager says, “Hang on! I can help!  I’m going to go get a ladder so we can get you out!” When she comes back with the ladder, two people are in the pit.  She calls down, “Hey!  Why did you get in the pit with them?” And the other person says, “Well, I saw they were alone and I knew I could help by sitting with them in the dark.” 

My mentor said, “You are the person getting the ladder.  You have sympathy and want to fix the problem. But the person who crawls into the pit with them?  That person has empathy.”

I knew I needed to develop better empathy skills if I wanted to lead like Jesus.  In a recent Replant Bootcamp podcast episode, JimBob discussed this invaluable characteristic of a Godly leader and the difference it can make in the life of a replant pastor.

The Definition of Empathy

There is pushback in some circles toward the idea of “empathy” toward others in a pastoral context.  We seem to sometimes equate it with “acceptance” of a person’s actions.  Unfortunately, this not only mis-defines empathy, it misses an important aspect of mercy in our ministry to others. Empathy, by definition, is not ignoring the actions that brought someone to where they are– it is putting yourself in their shoes and feeling their pain as though it were your own.

Some of us have also equated empathy with sympathy. But, again, we miss the definition of both when we conflate the two. Sympathy says, “I’m sorry this is happening to you.” Empathy says, “I am with you in this pain and this is happening to us.” Sympathy allows you a lesser sense of involvement because it allows you to stay removed from the pain of another person.

A third definition is helpful here, too, when we look at empathy.  Compassion is empathy in action.  You are so motivated by the pain of someone else that it moves you toward action. This response can be difficult for those of us who were never shown compassion from our parents. If the reply to your pain was an exasperated parent saying, “Well if you hadn’t done XYZ, then this wouldn’t have happened.“ Or “get over it. You’re fine,” you are going to find it very difficult to come to a place of empathy with others. Likewise, if you had a very emotional parent who made your pain more about them than about you, you will likely have a hard time dealing with being empathetic toward someone else’s emotional pain. You have not had empathy modeled for you, so it will be hard to understand why you need to give it to others. 

highlight of compassion in the scripture Mark 6:34

The Demand for Empathy

While all pastors should practice empathy as they counsel and work with the people their team, replant pastors have a unique role to play as they serve.  In a replant, there are likely to be two issues that demand we respond with empathy.  The first is the propensity toward change in a replant.  In a separate blog and podcast, the Replant Bootcamp team discussed the emotional cycle of change.  As you guide your church through transformation, empathy helps you seek to not only understand negative pushback toward change, but also to navigate through someone’s emotional response to it. The second issue a replant pastor faces is the need to reach the community around them.  The experiences in the surrounding community may be very different from your own.  Your response to their pain must be from a place of understanding and empathy.  People who are hurting need to hear and know that you care and have compassion for them so that they can hear the hope of the Gospel.

This isn’t a new idea.  This characteristic of compassion and empathy is modeled in the way Jesus saw and ministered to people.  Jesus repeatedly felt compassion toward people and moved to action by his care for them. 

In Mark 1:41, the Bible tells us Jesus was “moved with pity” as he healed a leper. In Mark 6:34, he “had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd and he began to teach them many things.” In Mark 8:2, Jesus states that he “had compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.” He then directs his disciples to feed the crowd. In Luke 7:13, Jesus heals the widow’s son after having compassion on her and saying, “do not weep.” And in both the parable of the good Samaritan and the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus states that the character’s actions came from a place of compassion and empathy for the person in need.

Jesus consistently treated people with empathy, and his compassion moved him toward action. He didn’t condone their sin or become frustrated with it.  He simply cared about them enough to show them grace and mercy so that they could hear and receive the ultimate answer to their needs– the Gospel.

one man comforts another man

The Development of Empathy

Fortunately for me, failing in the area of mercy and empathy doesn’t have to be a permanent position. Empathy is a skill any leader can develop with time.  There are 5 ways that you can become more empathetic toward the people you serve:

    1. Be fully present. The people you serve need to know that they are important to you. Give them your full attention.
    2. Be an active listener. Engage people and actively listen to their stories.  You may want to put your phone down and exercise curiosity. Ask about their perspective and their background.  What led them to this moment?  What experiences have they had?
    3. Suspend judgment. Seek to understand where someone is coming from before you make judgments about them.  Remember their experiences have informed their emotions and actions, and their experience may be different than yours.
    4. Create compassionate understanding. Before you attempt to “solve” an issue, try to understand the other person’s perspective on it. Be compassionate as you try to help them move toward resolution.
    5. Practice proactive caring. Meet the person’s needs as you’re able to, whether that’s being actively involved in meeting physical needs, or simply sitting with them as they need you.

When we practice Godly empathy, we are modeling Christ’s compassion for others.  To truly be a godly leader, one must be willing to sit with someone else’s pain the way He did.  Jesus allowed himself to be moved into someone else’s pain, even to the point of weeping with them or over them.

Sit in the pit with the person, and then crawl out together.  You’ll both be grateful you did.

Some resources on Empathy are this article by Daniel Harrison and this blog post by Scot McKnight.

Relational, Intentional Evangelism

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Every Member on Mission

How active is your church in the work of Evangelism? In the work of Replanting and Revitalization, it can become quickly clear how active the church is in these areas. And, if you are working with a dying or declining church, odds are that they are not actively sharing the gospel with unbelievers, seeing baptisms, and discipling new believers. When bringing up those topics, some may say, “Well, maybe we need to bring back the ole’ Tuesday night visitations again.”

I recently heard a lecture from Mike Kahn, Associational Mission Strategist for the Tampa Bay Baptist Association. In a new Bible Study on Evangelism, Mike explains that the gospel never changes, but sometimes our delivery methods need to. In What If? Mike asks the simple question, “What If all Churches and all believers practiced relational evangelism?”

In the past, a church’s evangelism strategy might have centered on putting together a large event or hosting a tent revival meeting. Some might have an organized crusade event where large gatherings of people would come and hear the gospel. In the past 30 years, there has been a heavy emphasis on church evangelism programs. Normally, they take place on a specific night of the week where church members go out into the community and knock on doors, sharing the gospel using a number of tools.

I grew up learning the F.A.I.T.H. evangelism strategy and knew it like the back of my hand. I went out on Tuesday nights with my church family in groups of three and practiced sharing the gospel with people in their homes. There is certainly nothing wrong with any of these past evangelism practices. By all means, churches should engage with evangelism in a number of ways, including these outreach nights!

But we currently live in a different culture: a culture that is more antagonistic toward the gospel. People are more prone to shut the door, and reject the message you seek to convey. We live in a very consumerist society, and if what you’re offering doesn’t match the criteria for someone’s personal preference, they are less likely to give you the time to share. However, our culture still craves authentic relationships, and is still in desperate need of the gospel! 

Personally, I can give you examples of people I have tried to share the gospel with in our community. Most people I have talked to seemed so surprised to engage in a spiritual conversation, much less talk about the central message of Christianity: the gospel. But the more we understand our culture, the more we must reevaluate the way we engage with the work of evangelism. What is the best and most effective way to share the gospel with people outside the faith?

Recapturing a Not-So-New Approach

In the recent podcast, Matt Queen shared that people are much more willing to hear the gospel than we are willing to share it. I completely agree with that statement, and can see it true in my own life. I have never had one person turn down the openness to hear the gospel. I’m not saying that they don’t exist, but I believe people are more respectful than we think.

The type of evangelism that our churches need to recapture is not an old program that needs to be resurfaced. It was the method of evangelism that Jesus used: daily, relational evangelism for every believer, every follower. The way that Jesus encouraged his followers in evangelistic engagement was part of what it meant to be a follower of Christ. 

Jesus’ approach to evangelism was intentional, but at the same time realistic. It happened in the normal, every-day aspects of life. I think we can learn much by studying this in passages like John chapter 4, where Jesus has a casual conversation with the Samaritan woman that leads to the “living water.”  We see Jesus regularly take authentic, contextual situations and turn them into gospel-sharing opportunities. In Luke 7, Jesus is blessed by a sinful woman that comes in the Pharisees’ home and asks for forgiveness. He uses a situation like this to explain the Kingdom to the Pharisee, while telling the sinful woman, “your sins are forgiven” (Luke 7:47-48).

We also see this intentionality in passages like Luke 10, where Jesus sends out people into towns and villages to prepare the way for the coming kingdom. When we read through the book of Acts, we see the same methodology used by the apostles and followers. They are both intentional and authentic in their approach, and they are always looking for opportunities to share the gospel with others. They are clearly led by the Spirit.

Passages like Acts chapter 8 are so incredible to see these followers intentionally going out, led by the Spirit, and having real conversations with people that lead them to Christ. What can we learn about this strategy? Preparing the way for the kingdom by sharing the gospel with others is something that takes every member on mission, working together.

Gospel Fluency

I haven’t had a chance to read Matt Queen’s book on Recapturing Evangelism but I can’t wait to check it out. Currently, my favorite book on this topic is by Jeff Vanderstelt, called Gospel Fluency. In the book, Vanderstelt makes the following statement:

“We need the gospel and we need to become gospel-fluent people. We need to know how to believe and speak the truth of the gospel –good news of God –in and into that everyday stuff of life. In other words, we need to know how to address the struggles of life in the everyday activities we engage in with what is true of Jesus: the truth of what he accomplished through his life death and resurrection, and as a result, what is true to us as we put our faith in him. The gospel has the power to affect everything in our lives.”

Vanderstelt is arguing one of the greatest motivations for evangelism. If we know and understand the gospel, it should motivate us to help others know and understand the gospel. That is, if the gospel has changed us, our desire is that it will change others. We are the vehicle God uses to accomplish his great kingdom work on earth. Therefore, we should seek with all vigor to make the gospel fluent in all our speech, so that it naturally flows out of us.

The best way for us to regularly share the gospel with others is by knowing the gospel fully and understanding it in our heart, and seeking out opportunities to make every day connections with those around us in our daily spheres of life.

Who are the Ministers?

When I do any evangelism training, I always like to start with a question: who are the ministers of this church? Most people point to their pastor or leaders, and very few church members point to themselves. I wonder why this is? Paul calls all followers of Jesus Christ “ministers of reconciliation.” In Ephesians 4:11-12, he says that God gave us leaders to equip the saints for the work of ministry. Every believer is called to be a “minister of reconciliation,” delivering the truth of the gospel everywhere we go.

Relational evangelism does not mean that gospel conversations cannot take place outside of a deep relationship with someone else. Evangelism can definitely happen in cold-turkey moments. It means that we are building gospel connections while we build relationships with others. While there are many “evangelism” passages, my personal favorite is In 2 Corinthians 5, where Paul shares about this “message of reconciliation” we have received and been entrusted with. This message is the gospel, and we will never share that which we do not know. Here are a few things that Paul teaches us about the gospel.

The Gospel changes the way we see people (2 Corinthians 5:16)

We tend to think of evangelism in terms of strategy and programs, but I honestly believe that Evangelistic living is a way of life. It has to do with the way we see people. In 2 Corinthians 5:16, Paul says, “From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh.” Paul was saying that they didn’t see people around them as flesh and bones! They saw them as people in need of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

In his third missionary journey, when Paul wrote this letter, he was looking back on many years of serving the Lord and sharing the gospel with others. As he looks back, he says that there is not anyone that comes into their path that  they saw as just a person. How do we see people? Do we see them as flesh and bones, or do we recognize that God has people in our lives for a reason? I wonder if our heart for evangelism would change if our view of people changed.

We tend to gravitate toward people who are similar to us, but the gospel places us all at level ground at the foot of the cross. God places people in our lives for a reason. And the beauty of the gospel is that it isn’t just for us, it’s for the world. This is the starting point for understanding evangelism. If we don’t see people as more than flesh and bones we will never share the gospel with them.

The Gospel transforms us (2 Corinthians 5:17-18a)

Paul helps us understand what the gospel does to our life. It makes us into new creations. God makes us into new creations through the transformation that the gospel brings. Verse 18 continues by saying that all this is from God. If you want to renew your heart and be transformed, you can’t do it by yourself. The gospel is initiated and carried out by God in the peoples’ lives. All this is from God – the one who saved us will continue to renew us by his grace each day. 

This alleviates the stress of the evangelism response. When it comes to evangelism, I rest in the fact that whether or not a person responds positively is not on me. Their response is a work of the Spirit. Success is measured by whether or not we shared the gospel, not whether or not someone received it. Praise God, it is not dependent on us! When someone understands the gospel, the veil is removed. Who removed the veil? The Spirit of God (2 Cor. 3:18).

The Gospel is meant to be extended (2 Corinthians 5:18b-21).

Paul tells us here that God has committed to us the Word of reconciliation. That means that he has entrusted us with the gospel. The word in Greek is Themenos. God has appointed or assigned this gospel to us. He has placed it in our hands, so that we might serve it to others. 

God has not only saved us so that we would be secure in Christ, he has saved us so that we might be sent into the world carrying the gospel of Jesus with us. Therefore, he calls us ambassadors. An ambassador is more than a representative. We carry a message with us on behalf of our great King.

The Gospel is urgent (2 Corinthians 6:1-2)

In these two verses, Paul continues the same line of thought. He tells the reader that today is the day of salvation. Paul wants his audience to know that they should not wait to commit their lives to Jesus Christ. Chapter 6 also warns us that we must not take the grace of God in vain. The grace of God was meant to be shared with others because grace received is always grace extended. He calls us a “fellow worker with God,” and we are. Working alongside him and seeking to accomplish the purpose bringing the message of salvation. We cannot wait for an acceptable time and wait for the right day, because none of us are promised tomorrow.

Our world is becoming increasingly darker, and the hope of the gospel is needed now more than ever. It really will take every member on mission working together to be a witness for Christ in every area of life.

While the list of resources on Evangelism are exhaustive, here are a few of my personal favorite. Gospel Fluency, Before You Share your Faith, Evangelism as Exiles, Evangelistic Living, and Turning Everyday Conversations into Gospel Conversations, and Life on Mission. Make sure to check out NAMB’s list of resources here to help you in this endeavor. If you’re interested in Matt Queen’s new book, check it out here. Lastly, I referenced Mike Kahn’s resource called What If?

godly man extends goodwill toward man

Goodwill in Leadership– Part Two of the Godly Leadership Series

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Goodwill

This is part two of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here.

World's best boss coffee mug

A Tale of Two Bosses

Today, I am a veterinary technician (aka an animal nurse).  But my first career was in finance.  Over the course of fifteen years, I was a teller, Customer Service Representative, Loan Officer, and at my last position, a Branch Manager. I had many bosses in that time, but my favorite was Susan, the Lead Teller at my first job. Susan was incredible.  She was the type of person that made you feel like you were capable of anything. She listened if we voiced concerns over a new policy or if we were confused about a new product.  She knew all the answers, but never made us feel ignorant for asking questions. Susan was genuinely interested in our lives outside of work, and always made it a point to remember our family events like birthdays and anniversaries.  She celebrated us as a team and never took credit for our achievements, even though many times it was her sales that made the difference in us winning or losing. In my head, every leader I meet gets compared to Susan.

Meanwhile, my husband, who is a senior pastor now, worked in logistics at two national warehouses during his first career.  He, too, had several bosses during that time, but their leadership style couldn’t have been more different than Susan’s. One in particular was an emotionally volatile man who would rage and scream at the employees, even going so far as to punch the wall beside your head if you were lucky enough to be standing near one. His name was Don. He was demeaning, often referring to his employees as “stupid…” or worse. He worked everyone so hard they didn’t have time to have a life outside of the warehouse, and Don wasn’t interested in it if they did. When they won an award for bringing their department up from last place in the nationwide company to third in the company, Don screamed at them for being the “least best in the top three.” In my husband’s head, every leader he meets gets compared to Don.

The difference between the two leaders?  Goodwill.

Goodwill- The Intangible Asset

When we think of “goodwill,” we probably think of the discount thrift store that bears the name, and we wouldn’t necessarily be too far off in that thinking. Goodwill stores were built on the idea that people need a hand up, not a hand-out, and on providing training for those who need tangible workplace skills. When we think of a leader who has goodwill, we are looking at someone who encourages and equips others for the task at hand.  The ideas are not dissimilar.

The Replant Bootcamp fellas discussed this idea of “goodwill” in a recent podcast. Jimbo defined goodwill in business as “an intangible, salable asset arising from the reputation of a business and its relations with its customers, distinct from the value of its stock and other tangible assets.” When we bring this definition into our role as Replant pastors and leaders, we have to look at our own measurement of “goodwill.”  Simply put, it’s an intangible asset based on our reputation among our people and our relationships with others. 

bible displays 1 timothy

Goodwill and Godly Leadership

The Bible is clear on the qualifications of a pastor (Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3).  While the word “goodwill” isn’t mentioned specifically, the idea is there.  When we look at what it means to be a Godly leader, we have to look at our level of goodwill among our congregations and our community.

Every pastor is tasked with preaching the Word of God and with shepherding His people.  They are all called to exegete scripture and to instruct and guide their people toward a growing relationship with Christ. But while some are gifted in that area, they lack the intangible asset of not being a genuinely nice person.  In fact, some of them even come across as jerks.

I’m sure you’ve been around someone like that.  He is a gifted and talented communicator, but man… He’s hard to be around.  He pokes fun at others.  He is rude to the waitstaff when you go to lunch with him.  He’s emotionally unstable, and you’re never sure if he’s going to blow up over something.  He’s arrogant about success and takes no accountability for failures.

Maybe you have a guy in mind right now.

Maybe someone has you in mind right now.

So how do we evaluate this “intangible” asset in ourselves and find out if we might be lacking in this characteristic of a Godly leader?

What’s Your Score?

There are five basic characteristics we can use to measure goodwill. Let’s break down each of them and see where we stand.

    1. A generous spirit. Like Susan in the example above, leaders who have high levels of goodwill will be generous with praise and encouragement.  They aren’t hoarding their knowledge to make others feel ignorant, they share it freely.  They are always looking for ways to help other people experience “wins,” instead of wishing it was them.  The people who serve with them genuinely enjoy their presence.  If the audience loves you but the people who serve with you day to day are miserable around you, your lack of goodwill is showing.
    2. A high level of Emotional Quotient (EQ). Unlike IQ, which measures your logic and skills, EQ measures your ability to “read the room.” Do you dominate conversations?  Are you quick to speak and slow to hear? Are you constantly sharing your own stories instead of hearing someone else’s?  Do you give advice before someone asks for it? Are you the first person to speak in meetings or the last?  When the people around you are exhausted by being around you, you’ve misread the room.
    3. Self-Regulation of your Emotions. I will put this as simply as I can.  A pastor cannot be the guy who “blows up” all the time.  Are there times you will be angry? Of course.  But you can’t be so emotionally volatile that you ruin your goodwill among your congregation. Your family also suffers when you can’t regulate your emotions.  If your spouse is scared to talk to you about difficult subjects, or your kids don’t trust you, you’ve lost your goodwill among them. I will also caution that this one, specifically, can ruin your goodwill in the community.  I once had a pastor come into my job and yell at me, cursing and berating me the whole time. I will never forget that pastor. Every person in that office won’t, either.  And none of my fellow employees will ever attend his church. His measure of “goodwill” in the community is ruined. Don’t be that guy.
    4. Providing specific encouragement to others. This is not simply walking around and saying, “Great job, guys!” to everyone who serves with you.  Be specific in your praise.  A leader with high levels of goodwill won’t give general praise– they actively look for specific reasons to praise the work of God in other people.  General praise tends to feel inauthentic after a while.  Specific, targeted praise makes other people feel “seen,” and that’s a quality of a Godly leader.
    5. Being quick to forgive. Ever known someone who blacklisted others after they hurt him?  That guy is awful to be around. He’s held a grudge for so long, everyone else has forgotten what even happened.  But a Godly leader knows how much he’s been forgiven by God, so he doesn’t withhold forgiveness from others.  Will people let you down and hurt your feelings? Absolutely.  But forgiving others depends more on you than on them.

If you’ve read over the last five characteristics of someone with high levels of goodwill and you’ve recognized some areas where you need improvement, take time today to ask God to guide you.  If you read over this list and feel confident that you have all of those qualities, ask someone close to you, your spouse or a close friend, to read over it and to honestly let you know where you can improve– after all, that’s what a Godly leader with high goodwill would do.

Dealing with Forced Termination

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“Here’s Your Envelope”

Recently, a Pastor was called up to the front of the church the week before Christmas Day. It had been a difficult four years in the church, and while there was no promise of any raise, at least he knew he would get a Christmas Bonus. The deacons made that clear when he first started. 

As he walked to the front, he felt a little bit of appreciation for the hard work he had done over the past year, and was grateful to receive anything extra the church could give for his family. After receiving an envelope as a Christmas Bonus, the church dismissed and he went home with his family.

“How much did they give you?” His wife asked once they got home.

As the pastor opened up the envelope, he stood there, frozen. It was an empty envelope. Thinking maybe there had been a mistake, he called the church treasurer. “Hey _____, I just got home and we opened up the envelope I was given as a Christmas bonus and…” 

“Pastor,” she replied, “I was just doing what I was told to do.” Click

With thoughts racing, he began calling some of his deacons. Time and time again, he was met with the same response. The deacons couldn’t meet until the first of the year. They kept pushing him off. Knowing that something was very off, Pastor decided to reach out to his Associational Director of Missions and schedule a meeting with all of the deacons.

At the beginning of the year, he met with the deacons with his DOM present. They began telling the pastor a list of grievances they had collected over his tenure. It was a list of petty complaints and differences. It was just what the pastor feared: the empty envelope was a ruse to see if he would leave. As a result of the mediation that took place, some deacons decided to leave, and others stayed. But the pastor had to deal with this ugly reality:

The church had tried to forcefully terminate him.

Been there?

In Ep. 174 of the podcast, we were reminded that ministry is not for the faint of heart. We have all heard the horror stories, and perhaps you may have experienced forced termination yourself. Sometimes it happens with secret meetings, met after church hours in a Sunday School classroom. Forced termination can come from a small group of people who have had it out for the pastor as soon as he arrived. We’ve heard it with a letter on the office desk, changing the locks on the doors, or a knock on the door in the middle of the night by a church member. Some may have heard the words, “We had a vote of no confidence…”

I recently was working with a church Revitalization project. When I visited a Wednesday night service, I noticed the pastor’s wife crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she pulled out an anonymous letter she had received in the mailbox. It was from a former member that had left during the current pastor’s tenure. The letter read, “For the sake of this church and God, please take you and your family and leave our church.”

People can sometimes be cruel and hurtful.

A study recently conducted that of all pastors, 23-41% will experience a forced termination once in their career.  Four out of 10 pastors will be forced out of their church either by firing or by some sort of pressure that leads to their departure.

Effects on the Church

If you’ve ever been fired from a church, no matter the circumstance, it is deeply painful. We tend to find identity in our vocation, and when being “let go” we start to feel like there is something wrong with us. It is no surprise that many pastors either walk away from the ministry or at least take a leave of absence from the ministry itself after a situation like this. 

But there are many effects of forced termination on a church as well. David Myers, a retired Director of Missions from Chattanooga, wrote in an article:

What forced termination does to the soul of the congregation is significant in and of itself, but the practical, logistical impact is also significant. The church may lose members who are unhappy with what has occurred or how it was done. The loss of financial support may result from membership decline or withholding money. The name and reputation of the church is marred in the community and beyond. Hesitant, reserved or negative recommendations of the church are given to prospective new ministers for that church. Many ministers are reluctant to consider relocation to a church that terminated its previous minister.

Evidence in Declining Churches?

Since this website deals mainly with Church Replants and Revitalizations, we need to address a specific angle of forced termination. What does it mean if the church you are working with has a history of firing pastors?

It may not be written in the business meeting minutes, but you can often find out by asking several long-tenured members of the church what happened to pastors in the past. There is something wrong with a church that historically has found ways to “let go” of their pastors. For example, many churches have used the word “incompetence” as reason to fire a pastor. But when “incompetence” is defined by decisions a pastor has made that some disagree with, that is not incompetence. When infrastructure and preference take priority over the leadership of your pastor, these are dangerous signs of a declining, unhealthy church. 

A church like this has some foundational issues. They are rejecting the biblical teaching of obedience to spiritual authority. When a Pastor has violated any code of conduct, shown evidence of sinful patterns, or put the people of God at risk of danger from false teaching or lack of care, these are real issues that should be addressed under the right structure. A church should be able to rely on their constitution and bylaws to go through the right process, and address any significant issues in the church.

And there are ways that we can prevent this from happening. It’s important that a pastor has a leadership team or a board to filter significant decisions through. But this comes with the understanding that a pastor must lead the way that God is calling him to lead, as long as it lines up with biblical teaching.

What can we do to help a church change their ways of the past?

  1. Go back and address the wrongs of past leaders against them and their families. There is nothing more scarring to a pastor and his family. This pain for the former pastor’s families should be addressed in the church and dealt with in a graceful way. 
  2. Remove those who have instigated or been involved with unfounded and unreasonable terminations from leadership positions within the church. Or at least have a hard conversation with them. If a church has some bullies, or a few who like to stir up the pot and be involved in “behind-the-scenes” campaigns, you cannot allow them to persist in places of leadership. 
  3. Address informal campaigns to force a pastor out through biblically based, by-law supported church discipline. Church discipline is one of the most neglected practices in the church today. But you would think that a church practice that is distinctly and specifically biblical would be practiced to pursue church health. Every healthy document of church constitution and bylaws should have a member conduct clause and a church discipline clause. 
  4. Make careful note of the redemptive actions taken above (repentance, reconciliation, peacemaking, and church discipline), and commit as a church to not let this happen in the future. 

If you’ve been a pastor who has been hurt by forceful termination, we know how painful this is. For encouragement and help, check out this article. And this helpful article from the Pastor’s Hope Network. For encouragement, help, and advice, don’t hesitate to reach out to our team here at the Replant Bootcamp. 

road sign reads change ahead

The Emotional Cycle of Change

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“A pastor goes into it thinking he’s going to change the world… He gets fired for changing the bulletin.” Yikes…  That is one of those tough sayings that rings true for far too many pastors that I know.  They had high hopes of replanting a struggling church but realized quickly that change is hard.  

But here’s some good news: change follows a fairly predictable pattern. And if you can exercise tactical patience, you really CAN change the world– or, at least, your church.

Stage One: Uninformed Optimism

Oh man.  This stage is absolutely great… while it lasts.  Unfortunately, that’s not very long.  At this stage, everyone is excited about the change.  They’re “ready for change,” they’re “eager for a new direction” and “looking forward to some new ideas.” The optimism is contagious, and there’s a good wave of momentum.  This is the stage when a pastor starts planning out some necessary changes and begins talking about them with key people who are mostly supportive.

On the Replant Bootcamp podcast, the guys compared this stage to the Israelites coming out of Egypt.  There was joy as they celebrated the First Passover and began to follow God’s direction.  They were led by God in the form of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, and they were ready to take hold of the Promised Land God had pledged to them (Exodus 13).  

But just like Moses, pastors will discover that after the initial excitement wears off, the congregation will start into the negative Stage Two.

curvy road sign

Stage Two: Informed Pessimism

One of the most important things a pastor can do when implementing changes is to communicate.  You can’t over-communicate when you are making changes.  Your congregation needs to know the what, when, how, and especially why changes are being made. There is a temptation here for most pastors, because once change is communicated, then the protests start.  “We’ve done it this way for years– why change now?” “That sounds expensive and like a lot of work.  We don’t have the resources for that.”  “We don’t want to do something new.  We like it this way.”

In this stage, the benefits of change don’t feel immediate and sometimes the wait can make them seem unimportant. You might forget why you felt so strongly about the changes you were called to make.  The cost associated with the change becomes apparent, and the grumbling starts to wear you down.

Again, we can look to the Israelites and see the parallel.  In Exodus 14, as the Egyptians are racing toward them, the Israelites look at Moses and say, “Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.” (Exodus 14:11) Funny isn’t it? The same Israelites who were just a chapter before praising God for His deliverance have abandoned the idea at the first sign of trouble!  Suddenly they don’t remember the horror of Egypt, they would rather go backward than to face their fear, which leads directly to stage three.

image from the Princess Bride- the pit of despair

Stage Three: The Valley of Despair

The costs have been counted, and the people are grumbling.  Benefits for change seem far away and your people are struggling to support a change they don’t feel is necessary.  You’ve tried to communicate the reasons why, and you’ve fought the good fight.  But in stage three, even you will start to question your decisions for change.  You will start wondering if this is even worth it.  

At this stage, no one is happy.  You aren’t happy, your congregation isn’t happy.  Heck, even your dog is unhappy at this point.  You will look for a way out of this hard struggle.  And the easiest way to get out of it? Just go back to the way it was. After all, you rationalize, it wasn’t so bad before.  It’s the same feeling the Israelites had when they told Moses, “Just take us back to Egypt!”

Many pastors quit at this point.  And it’s definitely tempting to walk away.  But beware– this is a watershed moment.  If you can stand firm and exercise patience in this stage, you can make it to stage four!

Stage Four: Informed Optimism 

Yay!  We’re back to an optimistic point! Finally, you are seeing some fruits of your labor.  The benefits you knew would come are tangible and people are feeling momentum.  At this stage, there is support for the vision and excitement is building.  Your congregation has not only embraced the change, they now see the tangible difference it made and are inspired by it! 

For the Israelites, this looks like crossing the Jordan into the Promised Land (Joshua 3).  They have wandered for 40 years as a punishment for their disobedience and their obstinance.  But in crossing the Jordan, they are making a break with their old life and entering into their new life with God in the land promised to them.  (We certainly hope you don’t have to wander for 40 years in the desert of indecision, but you should know that most of the time you won’t reach this stage until year 4 or 5 of a replant.)  They are ready to take on the task of fulfilling God’s covenantal promise to them.

Stage Five: Success and Fulfillment

The final stage of the emotional cycle of change is success and fulfillment.  You are not only seeing your changes and your goals come to fruition, you are creating a whole new culture.  This is no longer about small changes, this is about the larger attitude of the church.  The church is changing from a “me first” mindset to a church that makes disciples that makes disciples that make the community noticeably better– one with a healthy culture of disciple-making and missional involvement. It’s not change for the next year or two, or even for your time as a pastor there, it is a multi-generational change that lasts long past your tenure.

Looking at our parallel with the Israelites, this is the Battle of Jericho moment.  This is complete trust in God and complete success in the mission of God.  

How do we get there from here?

Many of you are stuck in those early stages.  Can I take a moment to encourage you?  Typically, it takes 4-5 years in a replant to see the latter stages of informed optimism and success and fulfillment.  During that time, you will feel the temptation to give up.  Many pastors give up around year three, when they feel stuck in that valley of despair. But we need you to stick it out, pastor.  Your church needs you.  Your family needs you. There are battles to be fought and hard times to go through, and we need you to know that there are better days ahead.  God has not lost sight of you, and like the Israelites, you will soon see a victory.  Keep at it, pastors.  God has not abandoned your church– or you.

 

The Emergence of Revitalizing Ministry

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Small Church vs. Mega Church

In a largely populated area only  5 miles across stands two churches. Church A sits just outside the city. Started in 1936, the church is worn and tattered, and has seen many pastors, leaders, and members come throughout the years. The church can hold up to 75, and there are stories of the past where the church could barely hold all of the people. 

Some great heroes of the faith have gone through that church, and have been  pillars in the community for years. If you were to ask anyone in the city, they have likely driven past the church a time or two. 

But throughout the years, attendance has declined. The worship style was outdated, and the church did not grow with the community. However, out of a concern with attendance, the church began a revitalizing work using outside help. They have struggled to maintain attendance, but their church has had a different mindset on church health. Worship, fellowship, biblical preaching, prayer, and missions are current highlights of the church, and they are doing all they can to be faithful to the Lord. While  they  struggle in seeing numerical growth , the church is in a much better place spiritually, and they’re dedicated to continuing the effort.

Church B was planted 5 years ago in the city. A small group of people started meeting in the living room, and began casting a vision for a new church. It created some enthusiasm in the community and at their first launch date they had over 50 people. The past couple of years have shown a tremendous increase in growth, and their church is gaining national recognition. The speaker is popular, the worship band is modern, and the church began a discipleship program a few years ago that emphasizes small groups that meet  outside of the church. Last year, they celebrated 40 baptisms and stood amazed at over 300 people on the first Sunday morning service of the new year. 

One day, a member of Church A and a member of Church B were talking in a coffee shop. After asking why they chose to go to one church over another, one commented on a larger church preference because he wanted his kids to be very involved and enjoy fellowship with other kids their age. The other said that he enjoyed a smaller, traditional worship setting where the pastor knew him by name. So, he chose that church instead.

As we think about these two very different churches, you may likely think of some in your own community that are similar. Let’s ask a few probing questions based on these two churches. 

Which church would be better to attend? 

Which church seems to have a better future?

Which church would make you more spiritually healthy?

Correcting Old Methodology

If you’ve  answered either one of the churches for the previous questions, your theology may be based off of your church methodology, and not vice versa. The truth is, depending on your family situation, your preferences, and your desires for ministry and spiritual growth, it could be equally advantageous to join either church. We may never know which church would have a better future. We also do not know which church would be a better setting for spiritual health.

Depending on your upbringing, you may have different biases about small churches, or large churches. But it’s time  we face the music and deal with our old methodology, and possibly reassess how we think of the “church size” language.

As a millennial, I have grown up in the “church growth movement.” Even at 28 years old,  I have been able to recognize both the advantages and the pitfalls of having a large, growing church. Growing up in a small church, my heart leans towards serving in a church of similar size. 

Our younger generation has been heavily influenced by technology. Every time I open up a social media app, I normally run across a sermon clip of a mega church speaker with skinny jeans and Nike Air Force ones, giving some catchy slogans about a scripture in the Bible. The catchphrases are not always bad, and are sometimes very powerful. But growing up observing that environment made me think that this type of ministry was the pinnacle of leadership. 

I mean, if your church is large and growing, that must mean you’re doing something right? , But after reading about church health, I started getting in the “cage stage” of small church preference. I used to make statements like, “Real discipleship can only happen in a smaller setting.” Or, “Having a pastor that knows your name is not just practical, it’s biblical.” But are these statements true in and of themselves? 

For the past two years, I’ve been attending (what I call) a large church. We have between 500-600 in worship attendance. No, we aren’t perfect. But my mind has really shifted. My pastor knows my name. In fact, we are very close. We have active Connect Groups where we introduce new members to the church and plug them in to small settings. I have a small Discipleship group of 6 people that I meet with once a week for a year. We are active in mission and ministry. Maybe I was wrong about large churches!

I get magazines and publications at my office all the time. One came in that said, “The Top 100 Churches in America,” and proceeded to list them all out by size, giving tidbits of information about each one. There were numerous articles about church growth, marketing strategies, and GQ model photographs of these pastors. After looking through the magazine, I promptly asked my secretary if she could unsubscribe from the magazine. Do mega churches have good advice to offer? Yes, sometimes…

But my issue is when we treat large churches as the end-all, be-all of a perfect church. Growth does not always correlate to health. A church can be growing numerically but be stagnant in spiritual vitality. It’s time to correct our old methodology of rubric churches and get back to biblical basis. The correct question we should be asking is: “How can we lead our church to be healthy?” rather than, “How do we make our church grow?”

The Emergence of Revitalizing Ministry

In the past few decades, there has been an emergence of revitalizing ministry, and rightfully so. In Ep. 173 of the podcast, Mark Clifton and Mark Hallock noted some notable changes. When I was in college, we didn’t have any classes on church revitalization, church growth, or church health. We had preaching classes, theology, worldview, missions, and a few other helpful subjects. Looking back, I wish I would have taken something additional, something more practical, in helping revitalize churches. What I wish I knew back then was that 80 to 90% of our churches have less than 200 people, and that most of the men I went to seminary with, will likely be serving in small churches, not mega churches.

Some of the best resources you can find on this topic are from Karl Vaters. He’s written much for small churches, including one familiar book called, The Grasshopper Myth. In this book, he helps us understand the danger of comparison, using the example of the spies who return back from Canaan and refer to themselves as “grasshoppers.”

More recently, Vaters published a book called, Small Church Essentials, in which he makes the following statement: 

The typical church in North America is small. Half of this continent’s approximately 320,000 Protestant churches run about 80 in weekly attendance. In addition, George writes that at the 100 mark in attendance, a church has become larger than 60 percent of its peer churches – at 140, 75 percent and at 200, 85 percent. So why are we teaching ministry students big-church skills, almost exclusively, when most of those skills may never apply to the majority of their ministry? Instead we pump small churches up with big-church principles and expectations, most of which apply in only a small percentage of the churches in existence. Then we wonder why so many pastors leave ministry burned out and disillusioned, with damaged churches in their wake.”

When I started working at the association  I knew  I needed to understand revitalization better, due to  ministering to some of the dying churches in our community. I was overwhelmed with how many resources have been put out in the past 15 years or so. This is to help address the very real issue that we see in churches all across America today. Hundreds of churches close their doors every year and we weren’t doing anything about it for a long time.

But in my generation, I’ve seen that there has been a shift in methodology. There has been an emergence of resources, speakers, and initiatives that have helped encourage young pastors to go to the church revitalization route of ministry. I’m incredibly thankful for this, because I now understand church health much better than before.

What’s Biblical?

It is not wrong to have a large church. It is not wrong to have a growing church. The problem is when we use big churches as an example for how every church ought to be. I always thought that it was impractical to see magazines about worship technology come to our small rural church in south Georgia. Our worship consisted of a bass and a piano, and occasionally an organ. The people in my church service sang with something real in their hearts, the same as I’ve heard at a large conference with a worship band. 

On the flipside, it is not wrong to have a small church. Our communities are all different, and our people have different worship preferences. In the New Testament, believers did not have the privilege of choosing out of 20 churches to go to in their small towns. They normally had one church in those early days. So that’s where they gathered.

If we try to form our methodology based on some New Testament church growth strategies, I’m afraid we will come up empty-handed. However, what we do see in the New Testament is that Jesus cares deeply about the health of his local church, no matter the size. Paul would come along and encourage those churches, giving them encouragement and instruction about how their church ought to be modeled, as one that would be honoring the Lord in all things. Paul and Apollos even acknowledge that while they planted and watered, God was the one that gave the growth.

What we see in the New Testament is an emphasis on prayer, evangelism, missions, heartfelt worship, fellowship, and other characteristics of a healthy church. Sometimes, God gives growth as a result of our healthy efforts. Other times, there could be some practical things that hinder a churches’ growth, such as their location in the community. Are we to blame God, thinking that his favor should coincide with our church’s numerical growth? I think not.

I’m thankful that we now live in a day where more young pastors are being encouraged to do the hard work of revitalizing churches, when this has not always been the case. There are now seminary classes, cohorts, training, available, and other resources to help address the need that there are dying churches in all of our communities. What are we doing about this?

As encouraging as this emergence is, we truly need more. We need more pastors being called to small churches, we need to emphasize the importance of following God’s call faithfully, instead of encouraging the “greener grass syndrome.” Am I going to be used by God? I will if I pursue a holy life, and seek his will in all things. However, God’s favor is not always measured by our church growth, and we should remember that.

On topic of Church Growth critiques, see Evaluating the Church Growth Movement, Five Views. If you’re interested in taking some classes in Church Revitalization, my alma mater, SEBTS, has an excellent M.A. program.  As always, please reach out to the Replant Team for any questions on these matters, we’re always here to encourage and help in any way we can.

Healthy Leadership in 2023

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What does it mean to lead from a healthy place?

I am new to ministry leadership, but not to ministry itself. Growing up in the church, I served in a variety of ways. I was an offering usher, a role I may have taken a little too seriously. I stood with my pastor/dad in the front of the church and shook hands as people were leaving. When in youth group, I learned guitar and began leading worship. My youth pastor poured into me and discipled me, and God began calling me to the ministry.

While in college I  worked in youth ministry  while getting my feet wet and learning how to preach and share the gospel with others. In seminary I grew very involved in the church and was mentored by professors, pastors, and leaders, doing ministry alongside them. I saw some of the hardships they faced, but for the most part, it was pure excitement!

Fast forward three years later, and I am daily doing the work of ministry. As an AMS, my ministry is unique. I have the opportunity to work with wonderful churches in our area and help out in a variety of ways. While there are some differences, pastors and AMS leaders have a lot in common. We have partnerships, opportunities to serve, discipleship with those around us, involvement with other entities, sermon preparation, vision-casting, leadership development, and so much more.

We also both experience the crippling depression, anxiety, and fear that comes when we are overwhelmed, because we’ve put too much on our plate. In an effort to hold the fort down, please others, and prove ourselves, we took on too much. And from time to time, we have to take a step back and see if we are leading from a healthy place, or if we are operating in PANIC mode!

Rest to Work. Don’t Work to Rest.

Early on in ministry, I shared Paul’s passion when he wrote, “Woe to me, if I do not preach the gospel!” But I was wary to relate to him when he wrote, “we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life.” As time went on, I’ve noticed the hardships of ministry in my own life. I learned from Brian Croft and others, that ministry is a slow and painful, yet joyful death. It’s the reality of ministry, and we are called by God to experience it at its fullness (in both joy and in pain).
  

In episode 172 of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob talked about a recent lecture given by Lance Witt, author of the book Replenish. I read this book about 6 months ago after talking about some hardships with my father. Some of the principles in this book were life-changing, and did more to help my leadership style than anything I had read before. But now, six months later, I must look back and remind myself of those principles, because the anxiety from an overwhelmed plate has crept up once again.

In a spoken commentary of Psalm 23, Lance Witt pulls out a few principles that are so helpful as we think together about leading from a healthy place in the year 2023.

Create Space and Time for Unhurried Time with God

It is consistent for our character as human beings, that even in our effort to please God by our works, we would miss out on actually spending time  with him. God does not want our busy and hurried ministry activities that are devoid of time with him. We can run ourselves through the mail with everything we want to do for God, and at the same time, we can fail to spend time with God. Jesus would often retreat, and spend time by himself with the father. He did not do this to make up for lost time after doing ministry. He did this so that he would be fueled and strengthened to do the work of ministry. We should do the same.

Pay Attention to what you are Paying Attention to

When we have too much on our plate, we tend to lose focus on the things that are important. As a result, we struggle to pay attention to the things that matter most. Ask yourself, “what pulls my attention away?” If work interferes and overwhelms you even when you’re around your family, it helps to try and let it go and put your full focus on your family. Sometimes this has to do with where our priorities lie. Healthy leaders will keep their focus strong and their priorities intact. Different distractions can get in the way of the focus right in front of us, such as our phone or social media. Thankfully, we have tools like Screen Time and Do Not Disturb that can help us unplug and focus.

Let Rest Restore You

One of the biggest struggle for ministry leaders is finding out how to rest well. Resting is not always sitting down and doing nothing. We are all created differently, and find rest in different things. For some, it’s a hobby or activity. For some others, it’s spending time with our family. If we operate in panic mode, always busy with the next project, we will find it difficult to rest, even if we have downtime. Finding rest is one of the most important things we can do as ministry leaders. You know that you are well-rested when you look forward to going back to work, but if you dread your ministry, you may not be rested enough.

Manage Your Calendar Well

We are very forgetful. If I don’t put things down in my calendar, I can quickly forget. Even if it’s important! One of the best tools you can use is Google calendar or something similar. Every time I create a task, I get reminders throughout the day, both through my phone and email. Not all pastors or leaders have the privilege of having a secretary that manages calendar dates. Make sure when you work with your calendar you schedule time to rest, and schedule time for people who are close to you. As ministry leaders, we should be excellent stewards of our time, so schedule out your calendar with wisdom and consistency.

Engage with Self-Care instead of Self-Medication

Self-care is different than self- medication. When we self-medicate, we look for joy and rest in things that will not satisfy. Self-medication is the reason for sin in our lives. Each and every one of us has stress in this life. We all have busy lives. But self- care means that we choose to find that rest and joy in healthy things. For some, self-care is opening up our Bible and journal and spending time in prayer. For others, self-care is going to the gym and getting a good workout in as a way to relieve stress. Self-medication is like covering up a wound with a Band-Aid, but not using any antibiotic ointment  to help heal the wound.  Self-care should lead us to a place where we are spiritually, emotionally, and mentally healthier.

Have a Weekly Sabbath

When God rested on the seventh day, he set a pattern and a model for us to also rest. The principle that he is teaching is important: we should rest from our work.
If we aren’t taking a day to replenish and rest, we will become quickly exhausted, and wear out in this ministry. Taking a Sabbath means taking a day or a significant amount of time to restore your soul. And since God created rest and modeled rest, he will give us the strength to rest when we need.

Let your Time with God Embolden you with Courage

In Psalm 23, David says that he would fear no evil, for God’s rod and staff comforted him. When we are close to the Lord, he gives us great confidence and courage. It’s easy to fall into a habit of meeting with God without meeting with God. In other words, we sit down to do a quiet time or have some prayer time, but we are on auto-pilot. We may be talking to God, but God isn’t talking to us. Our time with God can begin to feel like a ritual. I pray that every day when I spend time with God, I would get up encouraged, strengthened, and emboldened with courage. If I get up from my time with God still worried, still angry, still fearful, then I most likely did not spend enough time with God.

Receive the Voice of God’s Blessing

At the end of psalm 23, David recognized that it was God‘s blessings that were being poured out on him. He acknowledged that his cup ran over, and he would look forward to dwelling in the house of the Lord forever. Do you feel unworthy? Do you feel like ministry cannot afford you any blessings from God? My friend, God is pleased with your efforts. If he chooses to bless you for the work you are doing, receive that blessing with joy and gladness. Thank him. And if someone else blesses you, receive it with joy and gladness. While you may feel undeserving, to someone else, that blessing may seem well deserved. Keep on serving, keep on working, and keep on putting your heart into this ministry.

I highly recommend Lance Witt’s book Replenish, and a newer book by Brian Croft called The Pastor’s Soul. If you need pastoral retreat, there are several different ministries. But if you live anywhere in the panhandle, I have some great friends of a ministry called Promised Land Retreat. Don’t ever hesitate to reach out to our team at the Replant Bootcamp for encouragement and help as you minister for the glory of God.

Stewardship Matters

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MINE!

Is sinful nature difficult to identify? Are we really born into sin? Perhaps if you grew up on an island completely shut off from the rest of society, you might be blind to the idea of a sinful nature. We tend to identify it in other people before seeing it in ourselves, because our pride keeps us from believing that we could possibly be full of sin (ironic). 

But anyone who’s had kids can identify this pretty quickly. I have a two year old toddler at home who is soaking in all the words right now. One that has become his favorite is “Mine!” When he first started shouting this word, I began to think: did I teach him this? Did his mom teach him this? We may have taught him the words “mine” and “yours,” but we certainly did not teach him that everything he touches is…”MINE!”

Sinful nature: we have a natural inclination to sin; given the choice to do God’s will or our own, we will naturally choose our own way over God’s. We inherited this sin nature from the first man and woman, and it makes us naturally rebellious to God. Consider Romans 5:12, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.” 

This sin nature was warned to us, and unfortunately given to us, as a fulfillment of what God told Adam in the garden: Genesis 2:17, “but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” The sin of Adam caused spiritual, physical, and relational death to be brought into the world. 

The most prominent way this sinful nature presents itself is in the form of pride. “Everything is MINE,” the toddler says. But unfortunately, we don’t grow out of this thinking: we still think everything belongs to us.

YOURS!

The topic of Stewardship is extremely important to the Christian life. It’s meant to be a guiding principle to everything we do for God’s glory. But before we seek to steward anything, we must be reminded that everything we have belongs to God. I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 4:7, “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” 

The Bible clearly tells us that, “The Earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein” (Psalm 24:1). James would tell us this: “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:16-17). 

Mike Ayers, in Stewardship, Not Ownership, says the following:

“When we believe that the things we possess are actually ours or exist because of us, they begin to control and define us rather than the other way around. Consequently, our security and identity becomes rooted in them. And then, we are unable to separate ourselves from them, or release them, or trust God with them because to do so would mean to lose ourselves. This was never God’s intention for the gifts He gives His creation.” 

We see stewardship all the way back into the creation account, where God gave Adam the responsibility to care for creation by working and tending to the garden (Gen. 2:15). We are called to steward what God has given us for his glory, knowing that everything we have is His.

Stewardship as a Ministry Leader

So many churches have struggles in decision-making, financial expenditures, and even accomplishing goals because they have an ownership culture, not a stewardship culture. For example, when re-thinking church renovations like furniture, paint, and carpet, it can be hard to let go, because we become attached to the things we spend our money on. We think it belongs to us. When re-evaluating a ministry event or class, it can be difficult to let go, because sister Susan started it; it belongs to her. But does it?

In order for us to change the thinking of our church members, we must be modeling it ourselves first. For example, if we are trying to encourage church members to think biblically about stewardship, but  we have a difficulty letting go of that special, antique pulpit, we likely won’t get anywhere. Being a leader means leading by example, especially when it comes to stewardship.

In Ep. 168 of the podcast, Jimbo used the biblical example of Matthew 25:14-30: The parable of the talents. In this story, each servant received a different amount of property. Two of the servants were grateful with what they were given, they went and did what they could for the Master and invested. However, one of the servants was ungrateful, having received only one talent. Out of fear of losing what belonged to the Master, he went out and hid it in a field. Afterwards, the servant was scolded for his unwillingness to do what was asked of him, with what he had been given.

The point that Jesus was driving home in this context, was that we need to be prepared for his return by being good stewards of what he’s entrusted to us. The story of the talents is a good reminder for us not to fall into the trap of comparison. Some were given a different measure of talents, they still had the same responsibility. It does not matter what size church you have, how many resources you have, or how many people are left on your membership roll, God wants you to steward it well for his glory.

Faith, Fear, or Frustration

The parable of the talents teaches us that the first two servants acted out of faith. They knew who their master was. They took joy in their small part of managing what had been given to them, so they sought to make much of it for his pleasure. However, the third servant acted out of fear and frustration. He was fearful for how his Master would react (showing that he really did not know his Master) and he was frustrated that he didn’t get as much as the other two. 

When we think about the resources we have to work with, are you doing the work of ministry out of fear or frustration? It’s so easy to get into a mindset of comparison where we don’t have as much as another larger church in town, but we must see the bigger picture. It takes every church working together to reach our communities for Christ.

This is why I love working at a Baptist Association; we encourage church partnerships. Would it be easy for our smaller churches to get jealous of the larger church in town? Yes, but we must realize that every church has its own DNA, and they all reach people for Christ in different ways. Therefore, we encourage church partnerships where we can for the glory of God.

It’s the same in a Replant or Revitalization. Never fail to thank God for the blessing of having the opportunity to do ministry. God knows what He is doing. His desire is not for you to take a prideful ownership of what he’s given you – He desires that you would be found faithful in the small things. We must realize that He’s given us this ministry to steward it and glorify Him above all things.

There are a plethora of resources on the topic of Stewardship, but here are a few I like: Kingdom Stewardship, Stewardship: A Christian Duty, and Stewardship: Discovering Godly Ambition for Your Life. If you think your church is in danger of closing, take this church health assessment. This self-assessment is meant to help assist you in determining the current state of your local church. Another way to get started is by taking an introductory course that will help anyone understand what church replanting is and how it provides hope for dying churches.

Man raising hands in thankfulness

Thank you, God, for the Fleas

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‘Tis the season for Thankfulness.

As I write this blog post, we have just finished the biggest meal of the year.  There are only six of us gathered around our table, but I cook like there will be 20. This year we had four appetizers, three meats, seven sides, and five desserts.  It will take several days to finish leftovers, and we will all gain several pounds trying to do so, and we will vow that we hate all of these foods and can’t stand to eat any more of them… until Christmas Day, when we do it all again.  

Before anyone is too impressed with me, I will come clean and tell you that I will save up all of my cooking skills for this one day and then turn them off again. For the record, I hate cooking.  It stresses me out– the timing of everything, things getting cold while heating up others.  Every year I forget the bread until everything else is ready and then have to hold the meal until it’s finished. I worry about having enough dishes and serving spoons, and the thought of DOING those dishes… Yuck. The anxiety is enough to make me go to Cracker Barrel and call it a day.  It’s only the lack of leftovers and my family’s protests of that plan that makes me get up at the crack of dawn and start cooking the massive meal. And don’t even get me started on going to someone else’s house– the one (and ONLY) time we did that, my son threw a football in their house and broke the hand painted family portrait hanging above their fireplace.  We were ushered out rather quickly after that.  

But I digress.

the word thankful surrounded by leaves

Several years ago, I tried to start a tradition of going around the table and having each person say what they were thankful for. I think I saw a good, Christian family post about it on Facebook and I figured we were a good, Christian family so we should do that, too. Unfortunately, my teenage children were in their peak-sarcasm years and it turned into a game of “See how quickly you can get mom to stop this.”  Let me put it this way– I didn’t post their responses on Facebook.

The truth is, sometimes when people start talking about thankfulness and gratitude, I find myself very much like my teenagers were that holiday– surly and sullen, filled with frustration at the things I don’t have and discontent with what I do have.  I find it difficult to say what I’m grateful for when I am filled with discouragement.

In last year’s Thanksgiving podcast, Jimbo discussed how a story from Corrie ten Boom’s time in a concentration camp helped to remind him why it’s important to be thankful in all circumstances. You can read the complete story here, but the summary is basically this:  Corrie and her sister Betsy discuss how on earth they could possibly live through their time in the concentration camp, a place filled with discouragement and hopelessness.  Betsy reminds Corrie that 1 Thessalonians 5:14-21 tells them how to live, especially verse 18: “Give thanks in all circumstances.”  So they begin to list the things they are thankful for, including their togetherness, their ability to have their Bible, their close proximity to the other prisoners who were also hearing the Gospel.  But then Betsy goes so far as to be thankful for the fleas that are tormenting them day and night.  Corrie protests, but Betsy reminds her that it is the fleas which keep the guards away and allow them to read and proclaim the Word of God.  Without them, the girls might be punished and separated.

Sometimes I feel like Corrie.  Surely God doesn’t expect me to be thankful for the fleas in my life– those tormenting people who seem to have nothing positive to say, that bill that came when the money didn’t, the lack of spiritual (or numerical) growth in our church, the leak in the baptistry that comes on the heels of the leak in the children’s area.  Surely when God says, “be thankful in all circumstances,” He doesn’t mean these circumstances.  I see people post about being “#blessed” but I find myself wondering why we’re only “blessed” when things are going right– what about those I see who are desperate and hurting– are they blessed?  How can we be blessed when everything around us seems to be going wrong?  How can I be grateful for the problems I face and the mounting discouragement?

Then the Holy Spirit prods me toward another Scripture: Philippians 4:11.  Sure, Philippians 4:13 gets all the glory, but why was Paul able to say that he could do all things through Christ who strengthened him?  Because of verse 11.  He had learned to be content in all things, in whatever situation he faced.  His ability to be content in all things fostered his ability to do his ministry without the confines of frustration and discouragement.

Perhaps you have struggled this year with finding joy this season and feeling grateful for where God has placed you.  Pastor, can I encourage you?  Think of the “fleas” in your own life– the situations, people, or nagging problems that discourage you.  Instead of asking God to deliver you from them, ask God what He is trying to teach you through it. Instead of desiring to push “fast forward” through this time in your ministry, push “pause.” Sit with it for a moment and see where God is leading you to be content in the circumstance and then ask Him to show you how to be thankful for it.

And then, when you go around the table and say what you’re thankful for, maybe your responses will be worthy of a social media post.  At the very least, maybe your mom won’t write about it in a blog post several years later.

*On a personal note, I would just like to say that I am grateful to each of you for reading these blog posts.  I pray that they encourage and exhort you for your ministry.  I am also grateful to Bob, Jimbo, and everyone at NAMB for the opportunity to write and share my heart with each of you.  Thankful for the past and looking forward to the future!- Erin*