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3 Ways to Recover from Church Hurt

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Every one of us has had painful experiences in our relationships with others. This is because when sinners do life together, we are bound to be selfish, say hurtful words, and do hurtful things. Relationship “hurt” is unfortunately inescapable, and if we’re honest, we have been the culprit at times. But what do you do when someone gets hurt by the Church? 

The term “church hurt” has become increasingly popular in modern culture, but the concept is nothing new. I’ve talked to many people through the years and often ask, “Do you have a church home somewhere?” When they say “No,” I will sometimes press a little further. “Why not?” Their answers are not usually a difference of beliefs or a lack of desire. Instead, one of the most common answers people give is, “I’ve been hurt by the church.” 

Church Hurt is Real

See if any of these similar answers are familiar to you:

“I didn’t feel welcome.”

“I don’t trust religious leaders.”

“The people were too judgemental.”

“They weren’t supportive during a time of need.”

“I’ve just had bad experiences at the church.” 

All of these responses are related to Church Hurt in some type of way. Worse, there are many who have suffered abuse, manipulation, and mistreatment within the church. We may be quick to dismiss their response as unfounded and insignificant. But the truth is  people have had real hurt from others, and we need to be careful in our reaction. We all can take part in helping people reconcile relationships, seek healing, and understand the gospel of forgiveness. 

Pastors Face Hurt, Too

Church Members aren’t the only ones who get hurt. Pastors can be victims of this as well, and sometimes more severely. Forced termination, secret meetings, harsh criticism, gossip, and lack of care are all examples of hurt that pastors experience. 

The pressure of ministry can sometimes feel insurmountable. In the podcast episode this week, Jimbo and Bob help us understand how to endure church hurt and bounce back from painful experiences. If you are reading this as a church member, a pastor, or a replanter, here are a few ways that you can recover from church hurt.

#1. Evaluate Your Experience with Self-Awareness

I cannot stress how important self-awareness is. Two psychologists came up with this definition: Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards. If that wasn’t clear enough, I’ll put it another way: step out of your emotions of the situation and internally think about what actually happened in your hurtful experience. 

We need to separate in our mind what feels true, versus what is true. 

Without diminishing the experience of church hurt, I fear that we are too quick to highly-sensationalize our hurt and project it on to other people, oftentimes using friends as a sounding board. 

If we were to step back and survey our experience of hurt, we could probably come back with some observations. We know all people are sinners. We know that sometimes people say hurtful things. We know that not all are as spiritually mature as others. And we know that sometimes, our feelings control our responses instead of rational thinking. As Bob mentioned in the podcast, “We’re not as great as we think we are, and we’re not as bad as we think we are.”

Should church hurt ruin your experience of church all together? Don’t let a few experiences destroy your ability to love the church as God’s bride that will one day be sanctified. We should face the rational truth that the “Church” doesn’t hurt people, and God doesn’t hurt people. Sinful people within the church hurt people. 

The church is universal. And if a relationship is unable to be reconciled, you may end up seeking a new church. But to drop out of church altogether shows that you think that all churches will hurt you in a similar fashion. This is simply not true. To learn the ability of self-awareness means that you know your identity. And you must be able to cut through the noise of your emotions and think about how to handle the situation to bring God the most glory.

#2. Seek Reconciliation with the Parties Involved

I wonder how many believers have gone through a hurtful experience and never sought reconciliation of any kind? The scriptures are clear on what we are to do if a brother sins against us:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17

The problem is  we are so quick to ignore this command, and we don’t even try Step One. We go straight to the church (we begin to gossip and win people to “our side”) without first going to our brother or sister. If we were to obey this scripture that Jesus teaches, we would probably win over (or win back) our brother or sister without it ever going to the church and creating more of a mess than what it actually was. 

If our church hurt comes from a verbal exchange, it’s best to go to that church member and say, “My brother, I’m not sure you realized that when you said _________, I felt like you were saying ___________. This was hurtful to me.” I wonder how many times we would see the grace of reconciled relationships, if we simply tamed our tongues and went directly to the source of the conflict. 

If God sent his Son to die on a cross and save you of your sins, he can give you the power and ability to witness his grace and forgiveness between believers. Immaturity, hurtfulness, and selfishness can come from a church that is not eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. 

But we are called to be peacemakers, not peacekeepers. There is a difference. Peacekeepers seek to drown out the noise, find some points of agreement, and bury the conflict. Peacemakers address sin, rebuke it, encourage repentance and reconciliation, and move on with grace and forgiveness. This promotes maturity in the church and a unified spirit, while peacekeeping shows a lack of care and hides sin beneath a rug.

By the power of the Holy Spirit living in us, we can seek reconciliation from church hurt and move on with one another in the work of ministry.

#3. Be Patient in Seeking Recovery

I admit and agree, not every hurtful experience ends with friendship and hugs between parties. Some of these experiences are real, damaging, and require some separation. It may be necessary for your health to separate from a relationship, especially if it’s a repeated pattern of painful experiences. While it may be true that time heals wounds, it only heals if there is intentionality in pursuing health throughout the experience. And the closer a person is to you, the more hurtful the experience is.

But the work of ministry and the expansion of God’s kingdom is bigger than our earthly relationships. There are some ways in which we can, “bear with one another in love,” to continue serving together in the same body of Christ, even after a painful experience.

One biblical example of this hurt would be between Paul and Barnabas. “And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas and left . . .” (Acts 15:38). In Paul’s relationship with Barnabas, there needed to be some time they spent away from one another. After a “sharp disagreement,” they parted ways, but still continued on with the work of ministry. Interestingly, near the end of Paul’s life, he said this to Timothy: “Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry,” 2 Timothy 4:11.

After a hurtful experience, we must begin leaning forward, and not get stuck. It’s easy to drown out in isolation and be alone. But healing takes more time when we are alone. My encouragement is this: surround yourselves with counsel and solid friends as you recover. If needed, seek professional help as well. Because the work of ministry must go on. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.” If I need healing, I know I need close friends around me, praying for me.

While church hurt is real and painful, keep this in mind: we will only experience hurt on this side of Heaven. And we have a day to look forward to in which “pain will be no more.” While we are on this earth, let us not only seek God’s grace to recover from pain, but let us also extend that grace towards others around us. Painful experiences are a part of being human, but we can control how we handle it, to the glory of God.

RESOLVED: Revitalization and Replanting

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On Saturday, June 10th, I came home from a wedding and grabbed my duffel bag. As I began to pack for the annual SBC Convention, I had several things on my mind. For this Convention, I knew there would be some heavy decisions and business to attend. Just a couple of days earlier, I met with some of the pastors in our Association and went over the times  that important business would take place.

One of the questions I was asked was, “Why aren’t the resolutions already available before the convention?” Explaining some of our SBC Polity, I encouraged our pastors to be ready when the Bulletin gets sent out on Tuesday morning. As we drove to New Orleans on Sunday after church, we had great conversations in the car about what was going on in the Southern Baptist Convention. Some of those conversations carried over into meetings with old friends in between the Pastor’s Conference Speakers.

On Tuesday morning, I was expecting some resolutions spouted off based on Twitter fights that I had witnessed days before the Convention. But  when I opened up the morning bulletin and saw page 5, entitled, “Resolutions Presented to the 2023 Southern Baptist Convention,” I was deeply humbled. It reminded me of our Convention’s unified gospel mission, as I began reading over Resolution #1: “On the Importance of Revitalization and Replanting.”

When 12,000 Speak

While we know that not all of our listeners and readers are SBC, the vast majority are and could “resolve” with us that it was greatly encouraging to affirm this emphasis on helping churches. But even if you’re not a part of that affiliation, the intent of this resolution can be agreed on by all. 

Written by Luke Holmes, the Resolution that passed during the first day of the annual SBC was meant to highlight the important and necessary work of helping declining churches renew their efforts towards renewed vitality. I’m not sure exactly how many yellow ballots went up when we finally voted on Resolution 1, but I know that a sea of yellow flew up when it was time to vote. 

So, to highlight the importance of revitalizing and replanting work, here are a few takeaways from the resolution that was so well written, and what Southern Baptists should do to affirm its sentiment.

The Reality of Needed Church Renewal

Paragraph II of the Resolution states, “Whereas: Many local Southern Baptist churches face significant challenges, including declining attendance, conflict, lack of discipleship, and lack of community impact…” 

This reality is shared by churches all across America, regardless of denomination. According to Lifeway Research, the rate of church closures are outpacing the rate of churches planted each year in the U.S. Lifeway Research reports: “In 2019, approximately 3,000 Protestant churches were started in the U.S., but 4,500 Protestant churches closed.” The study included reports from over 34 denominations. One positive note is that most denominations, over the past decade, have given increased attention to the work of Revitalization, because there is a real, growing need for helping hurting churches. 

In a 2022 Report, the North American Mission Board said, “In an average year, hundreds of churches disappear from the SBC database. Many of those churches are closing their doors forever. Because of this, we have also prioritized our efforts to help existing churches become healthier, mission-focused and more evangelistic.” This is the reason that resources like Church Replanting exists through the NAMB Initiative. 

Diverse Approaches, Cohesive Efforts

Paragraphs 5 and 6 say this: 

“WHEREAS, Southern Baptists acknowledge the diverse approaches and models of church revitalization and replanting and recognize that effective strategies may vary depending on the unique circumstances and the needs of individual congregations;

and WHEREAS, Local associations, state conventions, and the North American Mission Board (NAMB) have committed time, resources, and manpower to strengthening churches through revitalization and replant initiatives…”

If you were to look for any “Church Renewal” resources over the past twenty years, you would be overwhelmed by the options, strategies, and plans for Church Revitalization. I was confused and a bit overloaded with information when I started as an Associational Mission Strategist. The more I began to read, study, and practice, the more I found some plans that worked the best for our churches in our context.

Revitalization styles will vary depending on location, leadership, and cultural surroundings. But the beauty of the Southern Baptist Convention is that we believe in partnership around the gospel. We believe that we truly are better together, and that we have one joint effort towards the mission. So while styles vary, we still join in the effort of church renewal together. 

I can testify that serving at the Association, on the State Board of Missions for the Florida Baptist Convention, and serving with the Replant Bootcamp, I have seen how churches are working together through various entities and organizations, all for the purpose of helping churches become healthy again.

More Work to be Done

Paragraphs 8-10 speak of the urgent need for SBC Churches to do all they can to help in the cooperative effort of Church Revitalization. Paragraph 9 says, “RESOLVED, That Southern Baptists are encouraged to continue providing robust resources, training opportunities, and support systems to assist churches in their revitalization and replanting efforts through NAMB and partnership with state conventions and local associations, including the development of relevant curriculum, conferences, mentorship programs, and partnerships with experienced practitioners in the field…”

As a reminder, almost 12,000 messengers were represented at the NOLA SBC this year. When this resolution was voted through, we affirmed as a collective body of almost 47,000 churches, that our desire was to help encourage, promote, and advance God’s kingdom mission through our work with local churches. As we recognized this effort, reality settled in for many of our churches to ask the question: what can we do to join in with the effort of Church Renewal?

If you want to get involved with NAMB’s Replant Initiative, visit this website and look through their resources. Even as a healthy church or supporting church, you can visit here to find ways to partner. Please reach out to our team at the Replant Bootcamp and we can help you connect through the right avenues to find ways to help. And if your church is in danger of closing, take this church health assessment. This self-assessment is meant to help assist you in determining the current state of your local church. Another way to get started is by taking an introductory course that will help anyone understand what church replanting is and how it provides hope for dying churches.

Measuring Success in Ministry (Part 2)

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I feel like there are two kinds of people in the world.  One type is wired to love English/History. They most likely enjoyed these classes in school and did well in them.  They love that a sentence can mean different things when read in different ways.  They enjoy words and stories. The other type of person is geared toward Math/Science. They performed well and liked those subjects in school.  Ambiguity is frustrating to them.  They enjoy numbers, measuring things, and equations.

My husband is this type of person. He is a numbers guy.  Give him a spreadsheet and some formulas, and he will “Excel” at putting it all together. (As you may have guessed by that horrible pun, I am the other type. Words are awesome and I use a lot of them–the punnier the better.) This skill as a numbers person worked really well for him when his career was in Logistics and Warehousing.  But as a Replant Pastor, playing the numbers game can be discouraging and frustrating.

Ministry Maxims

In the most recent episodes of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob have been discussing some new “Ministry Maxims.” These truths, when applied to replanting, can shift our mindset and help create new practices that allow replant pastors to see and celebrate the successes instead of focusing on the setbacks.

In the first episode  of the series and in last week’s blog, we focused on the first three Maxims:

  1. Discerning and Adapting 
  2. Leading Paradigmatic Change
  3. Empowering and Equipping Others

In this week’s episode, we added two more:

      4. Actions over Results

      5. The Importance of Multi-stream Revenue

Changing the Metrics for Measuring Success

If you are a numbers guy, like my husband, your metric for success in your church might be attendance, baptisms, and discipleship program participation.  But in the Summer, when we experience a “Summer Slump,” those numbers may seem a bit skewed.  And truthfully, those numbers might not be giving you a full picture the rest of the year, either. 

Instead of looking at those results, shift your mindset to a new Ministry Maxim– measuring actions, not results. When we measure results, we are often looking at the end point of a journey that actually  had several successes along the way.  An increase in attendance is hopefully a result of successfully reaching your community.  Increased baptisms is a result of successfully discipling your congregation to recognize that important step of public obedience.  And an increase in discipleship  participation is certainly a result of equipping and empowering your congregation to make disciples and to take their faith to the next step. Each of those seemingly small steps is a chance to celebrate success!

In my church, as in many others, we have a display that gives us a visual reminder that every success is important.  We refer to it as the “Who’s Your One” board.  There are five colored ping pong balls, and we drop them in whenever we successfully complete a step in our gospel process.  The first ball is white– we write a person’s name on it as our “One.” This person is someone we have identified as a person in our sphere of influence to whom we are making the commitment to pray for daily and to engage with the Gospel.  The next ball is red.  We drop those in when we have listened to and heard our “One’s” story. Next, we have the orange ping pong ball.  These are used when we share a meal with our “One.” The next ball is blue, and it represents meeting a need for our “One” in a tangible and practical way.  And the final ball is green, and it represents the moment when we are able to share a gospel conversation with our “One.”

A board displays ping pong balls with colors representing steps in a church discipleship process

Each of these balls has a story and represents not just a small step, but a consistent and committed effort to reach someone who is far from God with the life-changing Gospel of Jesus Christ.  We know that each of these steps are worth celebrating– not only for the potential result of a new life in Christ, but for our members who are growing in their faithful obedience to God’s call to share their faith.

Our decision to celebrate these small steps was strategic: first, we identified the measurements that were important to us as a church.  We weren’t looking to be the biggest church in town, and we didn’t want to grow from membership transfers.  We wanted to reach people who were far from God with the Gospel, and we wanted our members to take ownership in that process. So our metric went from “Are you inviting people to church?” to “Are you sharing your life with someone who needs the Gospel?” Once we identified the actions that represented that goal, then we communicated them to our people and built a visual reminder of them.  And lastly, we celebrate each time a ball is dropped in that display.

What are the actions your church is taking toward reaching your community?  Are your members meeting the needs around them?  Celebrate it! Are they engaging in conversations with others?  Celebrate it! These are important victories that are going to lead to bigger results. Every Sunday, take time to recognize the successes and remind your congregation that each step is vital, not just the end goal.

Changing the Metrics for Measuring Revenue

As Bob pointed out in the podcast, we are entering into a season where resourcing mission and ministry will require more than just tithes and offerings.  While there is a biblical mandate for the congregation to support the ministry with those gifts, replant pastors would benefit from shifting their thinking from a sole source of revenue to multiple avenues to generate income for their church.

Often, replant churches have a lack of money and manpower. But what they do have, sometimes in abundance, is property and buildings. Those unused classrooms and parcels of land that have sat empty can be used as income-generating revenue for your church that you can use to move the ministry and missions of your church forward.

Our church had an empty 4 acre corner lot at the edge of our property.  Because of the way it was positioned, the church could never use it for any specific purpose.  Much of it had overhead power lines that would prevent us from being able to build, and it was too far from the current sanctuary to be beneficial for us.  

After much prayer and discussion, we opted to sell the property.  We were specific in what we were looking for.  We wanted a buyer who would develop the 4 acres into new, affordable housing for our community.  The property sold within a few weeks, and now there are newly constructed homes on ½ acre lots waiting for new families to settle in.

But the income we generated in that sale didn’t just sit in a savings account to gather interest.  We used it to repave and paint our parking lot, which was dangerously uneven and had grown into a weed-filled eyesore. The new layout of the parking lot not only gave us a better first impression to visitors and to our community, but it also provided several new parking spots in the repainting.  The ministry and the mission of our church was funded through the sale of a parcel of land we would never use.

a close up of a parking lot with drainage problems and broken pavement

Another church in our association had an excess of space in their building.  They recognized that unused classrooms and hallways were not functioning as the best use of their church.  Instead of shutting them down and leaving them empty, the church partnered with a local Christian school and leased the space to them.  Through the week, this Christian school meets in those once-empty classrooms and uses the space.  What was once an empty hallway is now a thriving school.  This partnership generates income for the church while meeting the need for Christian education availability in the community. The mission and ministry of the church is funded by utilizing an otherwise unused resource.

Maximizing the Maxims

In my family, we will often talk about needing a “win,” or a success.  Sometimes it’s a good grade on a test, an unexpected check in the mail, or a presentation at work going better than I expected. But when we’re feeling like we’re taking loss after loss and we’re discouraged and banged up, our wins can be small things: finding a close to the door parking space in the rain, realizing we have money on a gift card for lunch, or an uplifting word from a friend. Celebrating these small wins helps me focus on the positive things in my life.

Likewise, when we utilize these Ministry Maxims, we shift our mindset from focusing on setbacks to looking at successes. Instead of being discouraged and frustrated by places we think we’ve failed, we recognize the places where God is still working and moving in our congregations.  And when we get excited about that, so do our members!

Which ministry maxim are you most interested to implement?  Let us know in the comments or connect with us on social media!

 

Measuring Success in Ministry (Part 1)

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My father has been in the ministry for almost 34 years. In many conversations, he has commented on the summer season of church life during those few hot months in between school sessions. In talking with him this week, he said, “Many families are gone over the summer, but we don’t slow down very much. However, the dynamics of our ministry change.” Instead of continuing with the same caliber of ministry activities, they place their focus on summer events for the community and missional engagements such as VBS and Mission Trips. They also use summer months to focus on their teams and committees, even having a short retreat for their staff.

Summer presents a unique challenge to the life of our churches, and depending on the DNA of your Sunday gatherings, missing out entirely for a few months seems like a normal practice for young families. Of course, people need vacation time and rest to spend with their families. But when several core families are missing for a fourth of the year, the effects can seem devastating and confusing. 

During these summer months, many pastors even take sabbatical time themselves. Or, they will use the opportunity to restructure and rethink their ministries and calendars. Continuing with the same momentum in June and July, versus the rest of the year can seem like a daunting task. To avoid burnout, there are several ideas presented on this week’s podcast episode, and last week’s blog, that will help you think about the upcoming months in the life of your church.

Discern and Adapt

Some leaders want to double down and get into a deep study during the summer. But it can help to take a step back and use less-attended church services to focus on your core people and discern a ministry plan for the rest of the year. In Romans 12:2, Paul says to “be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” The type of mind-renewal Paul is talking about takes time. 

But if you’re anything like me, there are some seasons that you are running so fast, and so chaotically busy, that you have no time to think. And when you don’t have time to think, it’s difficult to discern the will of God for you and for your church. Summer should be a time of reflection and focus. This is why many pastors take a season of rest during the summer while continuing to maintain the regular services and ministries of the church.

This time of discernment and adaptation takes place by:

1. Immersing yourself in the Word of God

In John 15:8, Jesus says, “By this my Father is glorified. That you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” Did you catch that? Did you know that it is possible for God to be glorified by you simply abiding in Christ and bearing fruit? Sometimes we forget that in the busy-ness of ministry, God is not solely pleased by our righteous deeds. He is also glorified when we simply rest in Him. Sometimes we need to talk less and listen more to the voice of God to discern what the next steps are. 

2. Reflecting on culture, the world, and the church

What’s going on in the world today? This question will affect the way you do ministry and the elements you highlight, even in preaching. The gospel of Jesus Christ never changes, but the world around us constantly does. How can you be a faithful pastor that speaks directly to what your congregants are facing? I’ve talked to some leaders who are completely unaware of what is going on in the culture. Yes, we are called to “not love the world or the things of the world.” But the way we can love others is by speaking the truth of the gospel to the current situations our world is facing. God can and does use cultural affairs around us to open up gospel conversations! Spend significant time reflecting on the surrounding culture, and it will make you a more direct and pertinent leader.

3. Exercising good decision-making by utilizing your teams and leaders

No one is expecting you to do ministry alone. Summer can be the perfect time to identify leaders, equip them for the next season of church life, and deploy them to help serve and minister. Ephesians 4:12 tells us the purpose of church leadership: “…to equip the saints for the work of ministry and for edifying the body of Christ.” When you dialogue with your deacons, elders, or members of a leadership team, their unique viewpoints of church life can help you determine how to engage with church members in the upcoming season. Every pastor has to learn the tools of delegation and equipping.

Lead Paradigmatic Change

Summer can also feel like a time to re-invigorate old programs that have no value. But if there is one thing that the COVID years taught us, it’s that some programs have not resurfaced, and they don’t need to. Summer presents a time to simplify, evaluate the functions of your church and determine whether or not any change is necessary.

In the podcast, Bob talks about the difference between a leader and a manager. A leader asks questions about how the ministry you’re doing affects the Kingdom of God. But a manager simply seeks to maintain the same strategy without asking any questions. As Peter Drucker once said, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” And if a leader is unwilling to determine where change is needed, then they should not expect the church to change in any positive direction.

Empower and Equip the Body

Don’t exhaust yourself to the point of no return. A good leader is one who recognizes leadership around them, identify and develop them, and then deploy them to the work of ministry. There is a reason God gave us deacons and gifted church members! To use for the work of ministry, in ways that a Pastor is unable due to time restraints and exhaustion. 

There is a sense in which we need to “deconstruct” the Pastor-only mentality. Recently, our Church Development team was looking through an Job Description to help a Pastor Search committee at one of our local churches. In the job description, we changed a lot of language because the language seemed to elevate the Pastor’s responsibilities to…everything, while reducing the member’s responsibilities to nothing. One of the duties was, “The Pastor will plan and conduct all worship services on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, and Wednesday nights.” Is this the Pastor’s role in the church, or can it be delegated to other members?

Pastors can easily burn themselves out with too much ministry related programs and activities. But in many ways, a man can only do what a man can do. Summer gives us an opportunity to identify and develop members around us, using their gifts and abilities, to carry on the work of ministry themselves. 

Be intentional this summer. At the beginning of it, set some goals for yourself, your ministry, and the church. Then, put some of these tools in place. God wants to use you this summer for His glory in the most effective way possible.

The Works You Did At First (The Rise and Fall of Ephesus)

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The Life Cycle of Ephesus

In the podcast this week, our team had the opportunity to have Kyle Bueermann as a guest. His thoughts on Discipleship in a Replant were helpful, and caused me to think about examples of some churches in the New Testament who neglected this important topic.

There are many churches mentioned in the New Testament that we don’t know much about. Even in Revelation, Jesus speaks directly to some churches that haven’t been introduced in Acts, and certainly don’t have their own epistles from Paul. Churches like Pergamum are noted in Revelation for holding fast to the name of Jesus and being faithful to the gospel, but we’re not sure of their history.

However, there is one Church in particular where we can see a majority of their life cycle. We know when the church was born, when they plateaued, and we can even see the church when it nears death. That church is Ephesus.

Birth, Growth, and Maturity

In AD 52, the Ephesian church was born. The first place we read about Ephesus is in Acts 18:19, where Paul begins planting gospel seeds in the synagogue and reasoning with the Jews. With the discipleship of Apollos and 12 new believers in Acts 19:1-7, this early church was born. Here are some characteristics of its first two years:

Evangelism

The birth and rapid growth of this church is nothing short of Spirit-led. The apostle spent three months persuading those in the synagogue about the Kingdom of God, and some of his disciples spent intentional time sharing the gospel in the hall of Tyrannus. And for two years, this church was responsible for spreading the gospel throughout most of Asia.

Ministry

The Holy Spirit was using Paul to heal the sick and cast out demons. His ministry was a public ministry, one in which people saw and recognized the hand of God. Because of this expulsion of darkness, Jesus’ name was extolled, evil practices were halted and repented of, and the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily  (Acts 19:17-20).

Public Theology

In the public square, the city of Ephesus was home to the great Artemis. But Paul was committed to the truth of God. A silversmith, Demetrius, admitted, “…in almost all of Asia this Paul has persuaded and turned away a great many people, saying that gods made with hands are not gods.” What a testimony of reputation to the surrounding culture! Paul’s ministry of the word had caused quite the stir, and possibly potential persecution for the church. However, he held fast to the truth and did not waver. 

Leadership Development

Paul was also intentional in developing leaders. In his return through Macedonia, it lists a number of men who accompanied him: Sopater, Aristarchus and Secundus, Gaius, Timothy, Tychicus and Trophimus. Paul regularly identified leaders, trained them, and appointed them to positions within the church.

Intentional Discipleship

In more quiet and intimate times, Paul spoke to church members with words of encouragement and care. He spent intentional time with them, studying the word of God, conversing with them, and bidding them a long farewell.

Confidence in his Ministry

One of the last things we see about the growth and maturity stage of this church plant were the tender words Paul spoke to the elders of the Ephesian church during his departure. He notes that he served the Lord with all humility, tears, and trials. He did not shrink from declaring anything to them from teaching in public or from house to house. After giving an encouraging word to the pastors, he admonishes them to help the weak and to give sacrificially.

Plateau

Ten years later, Paul wrote a letter to the Ephesians. When it first started, the church in Ephesus was a vibrant, growing church focused on the ministry of the word and bold evangelism. But now, in AD 62, Paul needed to remind them of the gospel truth they believed, and he also needed to call out some potential warning signs.

Paul knew that if he did not make them aware of the potential pitfalls, it was possible that their church could decline and become unhealthy. During this letter, there is no clear indication that the Ephesian church was in any kind of serious trouble, but Paul felt the need to remind them of their peripateo seven times. He was reminding them to look carefully at their conduct in life.

A Plea for Love

We first see these warning signs when Paul “urges” them to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which they have been called. The way they must do this is by genuinely loving one another. This type of love must be shown through humility, gentleness, and patience. Bearing with one another meant that love must be the focus of this ten year-old church to stay in relation to one another. 

Striving for Unity

Paul also desires that they would not simply maintain, but that they would be eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. He reminded them that there was one body, one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father. Paul knew that if this church was not eager to be unified, they would very quickly be vulnerable to the enemy.

Pressing on to Maturity

Another warning sign that Paul gives is the most clear indication of healthy discipleship: maturity. God’s people are supposed to grow, and Paul wants this church to remember that they are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ (Ephesians 4:15). If this church did not press on towards maturity, they would forget the reason for their work of ministry: discipleship. Their growth in the faith had to be something they continually longed for as a church body.

Putting Sin to Death

In chapter 4:17-32, Paul gives them a list of sins to flee from. Were these indicative in the early church? We aren’t sure to what extent, but Paul found it necessary to address these particular sins: sensuality, greed, falsehood, sins of the tongue, bitterness, wrath, anger, and sexual immorality. 

Getting Busy Again

Another point of responsibility for Paul to address is the issue of idleness. In other books, Paul warns against being lazy or idle in the Lord’s work. And in 5:15-17 he reminds the church of making the best use of their time. Alongside instructions to the family design, and cautioning them against spiritual warfare, Paul gives many general instructions or reminders to this church to remind them of what they should focus on in their present age.

Decline, Potential Death

Outside of a few other letters, the next time we really read about the Ephesian church is not from Luke, nor from Paul, but Jesus Christ himself in Revelation. Before the apostle John was taken up on a cloud of glory and shown glimpses of the kingdom of Heaven, Jesus had some words he wanted to share with seven churches. The first one mentioned is Ephesus.

This is 30 years later: potentially AD 95. At this point, the church is 50-60 years old, and much has happened in between Paul’s letter and Jesus’ letter. Apparently this church is commended because they are working hard, enduring until the return of Christ. They are even commended for their commitment to doctrinal purity. However, they’ve forgotten one major thing: they’ve forgotten their first love. 

The church that was the powerhouse for the word of God in the AD 50s had stopped loving Jesus. They cared more about doctrine than they did the object of that doctrine. And Jesus’ rebuke is solemn: “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.”

When Jesus said, “do the works you did at first,” what did he mean? Jesus was encouraging them to do the ministry they were doing when they first became a church. They needed a renewed zeal. They couldn’t forget the reason why they first were preaching the gospel with such boldness: because they had been saved by Jesus. 

When a church forgets the basic, simple truths of the gospel, all the doctrinal purity in the world has lost its purpose. The point of theology is doxology. The reason we study is not simply to show ourselves approved, but to rightly divide the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15). And this is why discipleship is so necessary to any type of Revitalizing work. 

Discipleship Has to be the Focus

In the podcast this week, Kyle Bueermann shared with the Replant Bootcamp about the necessity of discipleship in a Replant. If the Ephesian church was a church we started working with at the Association, they would be a church that had missed the first two windows of Revitalization. Even Jesus was close to removing the lampstand of the church. The lights would go off and the doors would close, because they were trying to do ministry void of a genuine love for Jesus.

We must not forget loving, growing, and maturing towards our relationship with Christ. If you are a church that is in danger of closing, my first encouragement to you would be this: start loving Jesus again. When that becomes the focus of the church, you begin to be more passionate about the gospel, and you start falling in love with your community again. But none of this is possible without an intentional focus of discipleship in your church. 

If you think your church is in danger of closing, take this church health assessment. This self-assessment is meant to help assist you in determining the current state of your local church. Another way to get started is by taking an introductory course that will help anyone understand what church replanting is and how it provides hope for dying churches.

A bible lays open for worship in an outdoor setting

Transform your Worship Service

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If you were asked to define worship in only a few words, what would you say?

Is it a time set aside on Sunday morning or does it happen on other days or at other times?  Is it the act of singing songs of praise to God or does it involve more than just singing?  Does it happen corporately only or also privately??  While I would hope that we would describe worship by something other than a specific time, place, or song, I know that the phrase “worship” can be difficult to define.

Many of us have been on the frontlines of the “Worship Wars,” and have seen the damage an incorrect definition of worship can inflict in a church. We’ve been in churches that would rather have two separate services than attempt to put their preferences aside and worship together.  We can probably identify churches in our circle that split over the use of hymnals versus screens. (We’d love to think that this is a recent development, but the truth is, people have been arguing about the relationship between worship and music since music began. The organ was originally marked as a tool of Satan, and setting the Psalms to music was considered blasphemy).

Some people define worship as a musical genre of songs that we sing on Sunday morning. But defining worship as a musical genre has two major flaws.  The first is that musical taste variable. What’s fashionable in music today isn’t what was popular 50 years ago and won’t be what is popular 50 years from now. The second is that musical taste is subjective, so what I like might not be what you like. And when worship becomes about my personal tastes and preferences, we’ve lost the true meaning of worship and turned toward idolatry of self.

Some people identify worship as a specific time and place.  By their definition, “worship” occurs only in church, and only on Sunday mornings between 10 and 12 am. For them, this time is set apart– there is a special dress code, a set of rules to follow, and possibly even a strict schedule.  This definition, too, has a flaw: If worship can only happen in that time and place, then the meaning of worship is limited to physical and earthly circumstances, and there is no room for the supernatural presence of God.

What we need is a better definition of worship.

Worship is a Response

On the latest episode of the podcast, Jimbo and Bob spoke with Dr. Joe Crider, the Dean of the School of Church Music and Worship at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth Texas.  

When asked to define “worship,” Dr. Crider gave this very succinct, but very convicting, response: “Worship is a response to our self-revealing God. God reveals, his people respond.” Worship was never meant to be held together by a musical thread– God would never call us to gather around something that changes so frequently with culture, or that would be so specifically tailored to individual tastes. Instead, Dr. Crider said, the unifying thread that holds worship together is the Word of God. The Word is unchanging.  It transcends generations, cultures, and time.

As a worship leader myself, I was convicted by this definition, and it truly changed the way I approach our corporate worship service, and my own personal times of worship.

A silhouette of a singer with her right hand raised in worship

Worship and the Word

Often when I think about how to create our corporate worship service, I think about how to create the response I’m looking for.  I want to have a service that is engaging, relevant, and that gives our congregation space to seek God.  I might look for songs that focus on a specific theme or idea, or that evoke an emotional reaction.

But if the Word of God isn’t the focus of our worship planning, then what exactly have people been responding to? 

If they’ve responded to anything other than the Word, then there’s a glaringly obvious issue with the worship service… It didn’t worship God. Instead, my congregation was led to worship musicians,  lyricists, well-spoken transitions, or worst of all… Me.  

None of that has eternal benefit.  

My words on Sunday? They disappear within a few days.  The song we sang?  Sometimes people can’t remember the words to it the following week.  The beats per minute that helped motivate us to move past our Sunday morning sleepies or brought us into quiet reflection before the Pastor speaks?  Not one person even knew how that’s carefully crafted.

But the Word of God stands for eternity.

When I base the service around the Word of God, I can trust in the authority and the power of the Word through the Holy Spirit.  Everything the Word says has an everlasting impact. The Bible promises me that the Word of God doesn’t return void, and that every word of it is God-breathed and inspired.

As Worship Leaders, we are tasked with a holy calling.  We have the beautiful gift each Sunday to introduce people to God so they can engage with Him and respond to Him.  When we cultivate a worship service, we are called not to be song-driven, but to be Scripture-driven. Only then can we be sure that they are responding to God as He reveals Himself to them.

When I put this into practice, it changes my perspective and transforms my planning.

A bible sits open with the pages turning

Applying Scripture to Worship 

Dr. Crider suggests using the Psalms (the song book of the Bible), to guide your worship planning.  In the podcast, he broke down Psalm 34 into sections and discussed the ways that we can use each of those to choose songs of praise, reflection, or even to introduce the Lord’s Supper or baptism. He also suggested using the Gospel as a guide, following the concepts of the Gospel: Creation, the Fall, Redemption, and Restoration.

I utilized this structure as I chose songs for our next service.  I looked at several Psalms and felt led toward Psalm 136.  It begins with verses 1-9 praising and thanking God for His creation. The Psalmist also repeats this line after every single verse: for his steadfast love endures forever. We opened baptism and praised God for the creation of a new life with Him.  We then sang praises for God’s grace and His work in our lives.  

Moving on to verses 10-16, the Psalmist thanks God for His rescue of the Israelites out of bondage in Egypt.  This led us to singing about God’s provision in the desert places of our lives and for giving us what we need. When we moved into the final verses of the Psalm, 11-26, we said the repeated phrase together as a response to God’s redemption of us as slaves to sin. To hear our entire congregation saying together, “His steadfast love endures forever,” and then to sing of the sacrifice and love of Jesus through “Jesus Paid it All,” was beautiful.

Applying this structure had many more benefits, as well. Instead of worrying about transitions between songs and making sure I was saying the “right” thing, I could just read the Scripture and let God speak for Himself. Instead of trying to evoke an emotion, I could trust the Holy Spirit to move in the lives of our people. Instead of leaving service wondering if people “truly worshiped,” I could know that they were given an opportunity to respond to God’s revelation of Himself because His word was made clear and known. Instead of thinking I needed more musicians or a bigger band, I could know that Scripture will not return void and I could lean back and let God do the heavy lifting. 

In addition to planning corporate worship service, I also began to utilize Scripture-guided worship as part of my personal worship, as well. Instead of starting with a song to get me in the right frame of mind, I sat down with my Bible and opened to the Psalms and quieted my brain for a while. When I allowed scripture to talk to me instead of lyrics to a song, the reverse happened. Scripture began to bring songs to my mind whose lyrics matched what I was reading. I was able to make Scripture-based connections to old and new hymns that I hadn’t recognized before.

Changing from music-based planning for our worship to scripture-guided worship is a work in progress.  Pastors, I would encourage you to guide your worship leaders through this episode and work together on continuing this week by week.  Remember to help your team by letting them know where you are going to be in Scripture each week, and communicate your vision for the service and for the congregation.  It will transform the worship service and their own private worship.

Dr. Crider’s book, Scripture-Guided Worship: A Call to Pastors and Worship Leaders, breaks this concept down even further for pastors and worship leaders and is an invaluable resource.  Dr. Crider also has resources available through SWBTS and can be reached through their contact information.

 

two conflicting signs, one to agree, one to disagree

How to Navigate Church Conflict

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Mapping your way to successful resolutions

A fun fact about me is that I am terrified of frogs. I don’t know why, or when the fear of frogs started. I just know that when I get near one, something in me is convinced that the frog’s mission in life is to jump on my face. I break into a cold sweat and walk to the other side of the street or sidewalk to avoid them. I don’t think they’re cute, and no, you can’t convince me otherwise. I feel similar feelings about snakes, but snakes aren’t typically going to jump on me and I am 100% CONVINCED that the frog will. We live beside a pond, so the spring and summer months are basically full of me zigzagging around the neighborhood in an effort to avoid frogs lying in wait to pounce on me while I take my dog out for a walk.

As scared as I am of frogs, there is something else that prompts that same “fight or flight” response for me: Conflict. I am what some might call “conflict-avoidant.” For me, conflict triggers the same response that frogs do– I break out into a cold sweat and start looking for a way to get around it. I just want to be through it as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately for me, conflict in ministry is as inevitable as the frogs in my neighborhood. It’s not a matter of “if” we experience conflict in church, it’s a matter of “when.” Sometimes the conflicts are simple, a small matter easily resolved. But some conflicts are bitter and hard, and they can leave us wounded and weary as we seek resolutions.

Our initial response to conflict can be very revealing of who we are as a person. There are those like me, for whom conflict is uncomfortable and frightening. We may have grown up in a household where fighting was common, or where showing emotions was not acceptable (either extreme can lead to conflict avoidance). Or you may be someone who looks forward to conflict as an area where you can assert yourself or your ideas. But something we should remember is that when we are faced with conflict, we are often reduced to our natural, self-destructive sin nature.

Knowing how to manage our conflicts is the key to seeing conflict properly– not as something to be afraid of, but instead as something to embrace. Too often, we think of conflict as a sign that we are failing. “If I was doing better, I wouldn’t have these issues,” we think. But the truth is, conflict can be a sign of health! In fact, handled correctly, conflict can provide us with great opportunities for spiritual growth and relationship building.

fingers pointing at each other

The Starting Point for Handling Conflict

On the Replant Bootcamp podcast this week, JimBob2 walked through what it looks like to handle conflict appropriately with the help of Michael Hare’s book, When Church Conflict Happens: A Proven Process for Resolving Unhealthy Disagreements and Embracing Healthy Ones. As a church conflict consultant, Hare has helped hundreds of people resolve conflicts in a healthy way.

Hare describes conflict in three categories:

  1. Unhealthy conflict- this type of disagreement often goes unrecognized until interpersonal disputes and church factions arise
  2. Benign conflict- this usually occurs because of organizational deficits and oversights that are unintentional
  3. Healthy conflict- disagreements that are recognized, acknowledged, and responded to in a biblically constructive manner.

When we are presented with a conflict, the most helpful question isn’t “what are you fighting about?” Instead, we need to look for the root of the disagreement. It’s not about the carpet color being changed, it’s more likely about the memories associated with the carpet or the fear of change in general. When we seek to understand the underlying emotions, we are cultivating a better church culture. Hare writes, “The manner in which church leaders respond to conflict sets the tone for the entire congregation and either provides a godly example of the ‘ministry of reconciliation’ or pushes conflict under the surface causing all kinds of trouble both in the present and in the future.”

Most of the time, in addition to the emotions of those involved in the conflict, we also bring our own bias into the equation. When we mediate a conflict, are we looking for compromises that won’t provide lasting resolution? Are we rushing to judge each person instead of listening to both sides? Are we responding with empathy, always keeping in mind Ephesians 4:15 and speaking the truth in love? Are we focused more on the unity of the body than on personal preferences? Emotions run high during conflict, and we must remember that our emotions are at work just as much as anyone else’s.

When we begin from a place of empathy and understand, we are responding redemptively. Hare describes this as something that isn’t natural for us– we have to train ourselves to begin at this point. He writes, “Learning to respond redemptively requires intentionality and discipline; it doesn’t happen naturally. We must be self-aware enough (with God’s help) to recognize when dangerous circumstances arise and be engaged in training ourselves in godliness so our immediate response becomes Christlike instead of defaulting to our old natural, sinful inclinations.”

Demystifying Conflict

Hare believes one of the ways we become better at mapping out conflict is to “demystify” it, or to remove some of the “unknowns” regarding conflict. Hare writes that conflict typically happens within 5 overlapping areas:

  • Intrapersonal: the conflict going on inside the individual person, a spiritual or emotional battle.
  • Interpersonal: the conflict between two people
  • Intragroup: the conflict within a group
  • Intergroup: the conflict between two groups
  • Structural: something within the organization that creates conflict.

When we are looking at a disagreement, we can typically see where this is happening and address each area accordingly. Hare uses the example found in Acts 6 to illustrate this overlap. In the disagreement among the Greek and the Hebrew widows, we see the apostles acknowledging the interpersonal and intrapersonal conflicts and responding with action. They didn’t avoid the conflict; they addressed the issue and found a way to continue the mission of the church.

Another key way we can “demystify” conflict is to look at potential structural causes for conflict. Many church disputes stem from disorganization within the systems of the church. (One group reserves a church vehicle for a conference only to find out another group takes an annual trip to the mountains that same weekend and have never had to sign out the vehicle.) Sometimes bylaws (or the lack of them) can cause misunderstandings. If you’re mediating a conflict between two groups or two people, it can be helpful to recognize areas where your church’s structure has contributed to the dispute and address those to avoid it in the future.

a chasm divides two sets of people

Kingdom Mindsets have Kingdom Resolutions

In resolving conflicts, we must move from a mentality that says “either/or” to one that says “both/and.” Using Acts 6 as an example, we see that the Apostles weren’t looking at the conflict as “Greeks versus Hebrews.” They didn’t feel like one group was more important than the other or that one group was better than the other. They found a way to say both groups are vital and we have to make sure that we are continuing the work of the Lord and making sure the needs of these people are met.

When we look with a Kingdom mindset, we are seeking the kingdom of God over our personal preferences and petty differences. We are looking not just in the best interest of our specific church, but in the best interest of God’s Church, the Bride of Christ. We are recognizing that we love the church too much to allow disputes and conflicts to gain a foothold in our unity and potentially drive a wedge between us.

Our ability to properly map out a conflict can mean the difference between an angry argument or a biblical resolution. Take time today to think about the most recent conflict you experienced. Would you handle it the same way now that you know how to map it out?

(There are multiple resources out there to handle conflict, but one that I found helpful was this list from NC Baptists of 20 ways to resolve church conflict.)

Traits to Change

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Cycles of Personal Growth

“I’m working on myself,” is a common phrase people say when they want to start improving something about their physical appearance, their emotional state, or their daily activity. The personal goals we make for ourselves change over time, and we all personally go through phases of decline, plateau, and growth (sound familiar?). Like the Life Cycles of a Church, our goals also have life cycles.

Last year, I made it my goal to lose some weight. I started a diet at the beginning of the year and had some great success with it for about two months! Then, I started getting busy…very busy. I lost the energy and motivation to continue because the progress I had made was adequate. So, I started reintroducing foods/drinks that I had previously been abstaining from. By the end of the year I was facing some depression and lost some motivation to continue, and even gained some of that weight back. The last phase is when we recognize that we need to “jump back on it,” and the cycle starts over.

In ministry, church leaders ought to be looking for ways they can improve their leadership. In another podcast we learned about some traits of a godly leader. Our life navigates us through learning, growing, and improving. This is not only our desire, but it is God’s desire through the Holy Spirit at work in us. The Holy Spirit has been given to us as a gift, to lead and guide us, to convict us of sin, and to give us boldness to be a witness for Christ. It is through the Holy Spirit that God wants to sanctify us.

Sanctification – In Every Christian Life

The word “Sanctification” is related to our growth in conformity of Christ. God uses people, places, and the Holy Spirit to move us towards being set apart or holy. The Bible says, “Consecrate yourselves, therefore, and be holy; for I am the LORD your God. Keep my statutes, and do them; I am the LORD who sanctifies you” (Leviticus 20:7-8). 

  In the book How Does Sanctification Work? David Powilson says this: “The Christian Life typically lurches forward rather than marching uniformly in a straight line.” We were meant to grow.  No matter what your goals are for self-improvement, we all need to recognize that change is coming – and we should be prepared for it. God’s sanctification will guarantee us that change will either happen with our willingness or without it. 

I cannot tell you how many times in my life that I have suffered through a situation and questioned God, only to look back years later and realize how it produced a Godly trait in me.We are fortunate to know that we can learn from men and women in the Bible who sought some of the traits we will talk about in this blog. Speaking of biblical examples, Powilson also says, “I am convinced that our understanding of the process of the Christian life is greatly enriched by considering multiple mundane examples, both in Scripture and in our lives.” 

Case Study: Paul’s Maturation

One of the ways we see this is in the life of Paul. Paul was not a perfect man. When Christ encountered him on the road to Damascus, it changed his life forever. But there was still some “renewing of the mind” that had to take place. When we meet him in Acts, he had been changed by Christ and started pursuing the apostolic call on his life. However, clearly Paul struggled with sin. 

In 1 Timothy 1:15, Paul said, “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’—and I am the worst of them all.” He also explained his wrestle with his fleshly desires vs. the desire he had to serve God (Romans 7:13-25). But we also see his growth and maturation in his writing. Paul seemed to much more gracious and calm in the progression of his letters to the churches.

Galatians was likely Paul’s first epistle. And you can clearly tell the difference between his first epistle and his last epistle. See if you can tell the difference:

1:6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.

Compared to his last letter: 2 Timothy 1:

3 I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. 4 As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. 5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. 6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, 7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Now, I’m not saying that the Galatians didn’t deserve Paul’s rebuke. But if you do a deep case study on the writings of Paul, you will see that as he progressed and wrote these epistles, he became more graceful, more patient, and more sympathetic over time. A great resource on studying this is N.T. Wright’s Paul: A Biography. 

Traits to Change

No matter what you do for your own self-improvement, you will encounter hardships. But Jimbo and Bob have done a great job identifying the 5 traits that are necessary if you hope to change anything about yourself. Most attempts of self-improvement will fail, if you do not possess the following characteristics. Here they are, with a brief description of each:

Humility

Humility means acknowledging that you have room to grow and that others have something to offer. We can see the importance of humility in biblical passages such as Ephesians 4:2, James 4:10, and 1 Peter 5:5, which all emphasize the importance of humility. Bob notes that humility is the first touchstone for personal development and that being humble doesn’t mean thinking less of oneself, but rather thinking of oneself less. He warns against assuming that one’s presence alone will fix everything and emphasizes the importance of recognizing one’s weaknesses and inexperience.

Teachability

Teachability involves being open to learning from others, even those who may not have as much experience as you. The second ingredient for personal growth in replanting and revitalizing a church is teachability, which is built upon humility. Teachability involves being willing to receive feedback, instruction, and correction, even if it is painful. Proverbs 13:18 and Proverbs 9 emphasize the importance of heeding reproof and instruction in order to become wiser and more skilled. Without teachability, growth is impossible.

Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness requires honest assessment (Romans 12) of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your goals and motivations. Having a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as an understanding of how others perceive you, can help you make more informed decisions and pursue growth opportunities that align with your abilities and interests.

Integrity

Integrity is about being honest with yourself and others, avoiding excuses, and owning up to mistakes. It’s important to be honest with ourselves and others about our progress and performance, and not make excuses for our shortcomings. When we take ownership of our mistakes and take responsibility for our actions, we demonstrate integrity and earn the trust and respect of others. This is especially important for leaders, who are expected to set an example and inspire others to grow and improve. By being honest and owning our mistakes, we can become better versions of ourselves and gain the support and trust of those around us.

Check out Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck for more on self-control.

Initiative

Finally, initiative is the willingness to put in the work required to grow, taking action rather than waiting for others to prod you into it. If you want to grow, these ingredients are essential, and there are many resources available to help you develop them.

Personal development and growth require a combination of these five ingredients: humility, teachability, self-awareness, integrity, and initiative. It’s important to be honest with yourself and others about your progress and to take responsibility for your actions. And ultimately, growth requires initiative and hard work, putting in the necessary effort to achieve your goals. There are many resources available to help with personal development and developing good habits, but ultimately, it’s up to you to take the first step and put in the work.

For more information, check out the Godly Leadership series on our podcast, and read Eric Cofield’s excellent blogs on the 5 Traits of Godly Leaders.

A tray of paint sits on a table for renovation

Your Perspective is Limited- Here’s How to Change That

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Your Perspective is Limited- Here’s How to Change That 

In September of 2022, our oldest son was called to be a Youth Pastor at a church in Alabama and moved out of our home in South Carolina. We waited the prerequisite 6 months before we decided he probably wasn’t coming back, at least not to stay.  So this weekend we decided to paint his bedroom and turn it into more of a “guest room” space. 

When he lived there, his room went through several transitions as his tastes changed. So yesterday, when we started the process of repainting the room, we knew it would need a little work.  There would be a few holes to patch– just a couple of areas that probably needed putty and sanding.

But then we turned on the lights, took down some old décor, and started patching… And oh how wrong we were. See, what we couldn’t know was that these walls were covered with one hundred different holes as a testimony to his ever-changing decorations. Posters featuring athletes or video games had been hung with sticky tape a decade ago. Pictures and notes from his time as a camp staffer had been thumbtacked all over the room. Floating bookshelves that were meant to hold a few trophies had strained under the weight of old textbooks and pulled loose from the wall. And at one point, he hung old skateboards on the walls with screws and nails.

A wall being patched in prep for painting

This is the ACTUAL room in my house.  It looks like we have decided to polka-dot it with putty. There are hundreds of tiny holes, and a few large ones that will require sheetrock repair. There is so much work to be done just to simply prep it for painting that the room may never actually get painted.

Sometimes when we begin replanting, we have the same issue– we don’t see what lies under the surface.  This limited perspective means we don’t know how much we need to do to merely prepare for the process of changing.

lines to show perspective in art

The Fourfold Panorama

In one of the first Replant Bootcamp episodes, JimBob talked to Keelan Cook, the designer of the Fourfold Panorama for Replanting Churches.  This tool is invaluable to replanters as they begin the work of bringing life back into their church.

Keelan notes there are three things that churches must know when they decide to begin the process of discovery that leads to revitalization: The Biblical Mission of the church, which is unchanging, the congregation itself, which may be different from where it was at its start, and the context in which the church exists, which is ever-changing.

The problem in most churches is that the pastor typically only knows and can articulate one of those perspectives.  It takes a unique, multi-perspective approach to know where the “holes in the wall” really exist.

In his fourfold panorama approach, Keelan states: “Churches exist to bear witness to the glory of Christ through the making of new disciples from all nations. In order to do that, two big categories must be considered: the local church itself, and the context they are attempting to reach. Too often, people attempting to revitalize, plant, or replant a church do so with an eye on only one of these categories. That is always a recipe for disaster. It may, in fact, be why the church is in its current shape. It is possible to polish up a church real nice, and due to a lack of contextual understanding, create the fanciest obstacle to the gospel in a particular neighborhood.”

Many pastors and churches are simply “nose-blind” to their condition.  They think they know how their church is viewed within the congregation and the community, but in reality, they may not “smell” as good as they think. What I mean is, sometimes we see ourselves the way we aspire to be, but an assessment from outside perspectives might prove that evaluation to be false. In order to begin collecting data for this assessment, a church must ask itself: Do the activities of the church match the needs of the community?

As Keelan points out in the podcast, “a community is more than a geographical location-it is also a moment in time.” Instead of thinking of your community like a rock in the field, think of the community more like a rock in the current of a moving stream– the surrounding community is most likely drastically different than when your church began and you’ll need to “exegete” the community in order to know the needs of your community and how to meet them.

Glasses shown to clear perspective

The Four Perspectives You Need

In order for the church to begin a proper assessment of its current condition, some outside sources are necessary.  You’ll want to get someone’s unbiased, external viewpoint to help you begin the process.  Your local AMS or DOM is beneficial, but you could also ask a trusted pastor from a different church.  You’ll also need members of your church on the team. Your team needs to be as diverse as possible, filled with new members, longtime members, and potential members. You may even want to include the perspective of members who’ve left the church and gone elsewhere.

For the fourfold panorama assessment of the church’s condition, you need to consider four angles (or perspectives), and you’ll want to consider several sources for each.  First, you need the perspective of your church, both inside the church and outside the church.  Then, you need the perspective of the context (or community) in which your church exists, both from the inside and the outside.

The insider church perspective is looking for signs of life in your church.  They are looking to answer questions about the vitality of the church, spiritually, financially, relationally, and missionally. In the fourfold panorama approach, this information is found through church data like budget, bylaws, and its annual profile, and is typically something you can find through interviews and surveys of your current membership. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • Does the congregation exhibit a vibrant faith, spiritual maturity, a commitment to prayer, and a love for God’s word? 
  • Does the congregation love one another? Is there a spirit of unity, or does the congregation exhibit signs of deep division? 
  • How are the church’s finances? Does the congregation still give and steward its money well? 
  • Does the congregation demonstrate a genuine concern for the lost? Are they attempting to make new disciples, especially in the church’s immediate community? 

The outsider church perspective is searching for the reputation and witness of this gospel community. In other words, how does the outside world see the church? This is found through visitor surveys, asking other area pastors, and your AMS. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • How do people in the community describe the church?  
  • Do visitors think the facilities are substandard? Do they think the church is closed? 
  • Does the church have a reputation for being divisive or friendly?
  • What, if anything, do outsiders know about the church’s message?
  • Do people think it is a Bible-believing church that loves people?

The outsider context perspective is searching for demographic and cultural data for the community where the church is located. This is found through census data, chamber of commerce information, even area websites. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • How do members of the congregation view the immediate community where the church facilities are located? 
  • What are the populations and demographic trends? 
  • How do community leaders attempt to present the community to outsiders?

The insider context perspective is, according to Cook, often the most challenging to obtain. This perspective attempts to understand how the actual community residents view themselves, their community, and the world around them. It can be found through community interviews with business owners and residents around the church. Some questions this perspective is answering are:

  • How do the residents view the community where they live? 
  • How do the residents describe themselves and their worldview? 
  • Are there competing narratives in this community? For instance, has gentrification created two opposing communities in the same location? 
  • What is the spiritual and emotional climate of the community?

Patching the Walls

Once you have a proper assessment of the true condition of your church, you will find there are  places where you may need to repair some damage.  This may be within the church in the form of reassessing your programs and your missional vitality to your community.  As the shepherd of your church, it would be helpful to remind your congregation of the unbelievably beautiful calling of the Great Commission and to issue a call to rekindle their love for the community around them. You might have to have some difficult conversations about change and adaptation, and you may experience some of the Emotional Cycle of Change (see Podcast Episode 126 for details) as you guide your people through their fear or their reluctance to change.

You may also need to repair some damage in your community.  Your church’s reputation may be smudged, and you might need to make some apologies for past behavior.  There may be areas where the church will need to repent of its resentment toward its surrounding community and you will need to foster love and hospitality within your membership.

This work will be hard.  But in the end, it will be worth it.  Your church will have a new canvas, ready to be filled with the next great chapter of your church’s history.

Resources:

Keelan Cook’s Fourfold Panorama Assessment Tool

https://replantbootcamp.com/wp-content/uploads/PND_-Fourfold-Panoramic-Assessment.pdf

Mark Hallock’s Replant Roadmap

https://www.amazon.com/Replant-Roadmap-Congregation-Revitalize-Churches/dp/0998859729

Bob Bickford and Mark Hallock’s Pathway to Partnership

https://www.amazon.com/Pathways-Partnership-Replanting-Movement-Replant/dp/0999418149/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=pathways+to+partnership&qid=1677342997&sr=8-1

letters form the word Integrity

Integrity in Leadership- Part Five of the Godly Leadership Series

Written on .

stamped letters create the word integrity

This is part five of a series of five on the characteristics of Godly leaders. Part one, Humility, can be found here, Part two, Goodwill, can be found here, Part Three, Empathy, can be found here, and Part Four, Respect, can be found here.

For the past five weeks, we have studied the traits of a Godly leader and the qualities we must have to fulfill God’s calling. This week, we end the series with a characteristic that builds on the other four: Integrity.  Integrity is the direct result of having humility, goodwill, empathy, and respect for others– but without integrity, none of the others will do any good.

Failure to Stand

In structural engineering, one of the most important aspects of architecture and building is structural integrity.  Without it, a building can be destroyed if a disaster strikes.  

In Ancient Rome, an entrepreneur named Atilius set about to build a new amphitheater for patrons to watch gladiator competitions. Atilius was wealthy but opted for a quick and cheap construction.  At its completion in 27 AD, the Fidenae Amphiteater was set to hold 50,000 spectators– but due to its lack of structural integrity, the amphitheater collapsed under the weight, resulting in the deaths of over 20,000 people.  The integrity couldn’t support the demand.

As replant pastors, we must remember that a lack of integrity won’t show up in the good times of growth and revival.  As Carey Nieuwhof writes, “‘Normal’ doesn’t really test your integrity.   Crises do. But when a crisis comes, it’s often too late to fix what’s wrong. The damage is happening in real-time.” This is the problem with a lack of integrity– you won’t know you lack it until you need it.

building with crumbling foundation

Godly Integrity

Thankfully, God is not silent when it comes to this subject.  God’s word speaks directly to the topic of integrity so that we can remain “structurally intact” in times of crisis.

In Matthew 5:37, Jesus tells us, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” In Proverbs 10:9, Solomon reminds us, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. And again in Proverbs 11:3, we read, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Both Job and David are praised by God for their integrity and their uprightness. In Titus 2:6-8, Paul reminds Titus to “Show [himself] in all respects to be a model of good works, and in [his] teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say” about them.

Imperatives for Integrity

There are five imperatives to be a leader with integrity. When we look at these, we have to be willing to examine ourselves and see where we are lacking. Without that examination, we run the very real risk that the next crisis will be the one that exposes our weakness.

  1. Authenticity: As Bob pointed out on the podcast, this word may need a bit of reclamation. Often when someone says they are “being authentic” today, what they typically mean is that they are comfortable with their sin. There is a lack of conviction that allows them to sink to their base level, whether that means using foul language regularly or being too rude in their speech. At our core, we are sinful people, so if being “authentic” means that you aren’t allowing God’s conviction to change you, it’s time to remind yourself that you are still being sanctified. If we look at what it means to be “authentic” in the biblical sense, it means you can be “authenticated” as to your ownership.  When people walk away from their encounters with you, do they feel you represented Christ to them?  Can they tell that God is the author of your life? Is there evidence to show that you belong to Him? Are you marked by the fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5?
  2. Consistency: Maya Angelou has a great quote on consistency. She said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It really speaks to the idea that we need to accept what people show us through their behavior.  But the inverse is true, as well– we are showing our teams and our congregations who we are through our behavior, too.  If you are habitually late to meetings, what you’ve displayed is that you don’t value your team’s time.  If you consistently fail to respond to messages or to do what you say you will, then you’ve shown others that you aren’t dependable and they shouldn’t rely on you. When you act differently at your vocational job than you do in the pulpit, your reputation is tarnished and you seem inauthentic to others. A leader with integrity is consistent with his behavior.   
  3. Tell the truth: This seems self-explanatory, but a leader with integrity has to tell the truth.  Like our structural engineering example, if our foundation can’t be trusted, we will fall.  All of us have heard stories of pastors whose private life proved their public persona to be a lie.  While they preached a good Word, they lived a lie of infidelity and abuse. Lying erodes trust.  If you can’t be trusted to tell the truth, then you can’t be trusted to lead well. When you lie, you encourage other people to lie to you, as well. Telling the truth keeps you accountable to others.
  4. Seeks feedback: A leader with integrity is looking for ways to grow and change.  They never see themselves as the smartest person in the room, because they know that everyone has blind spots to things.  By definition, a blind spot is something you can’t see yourself, you must ask others to help you. Proverbs 12:1 tells us, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (Don’t get mad at me, God said it.) Leaders with integrity look for accountability.  I have a small circle of people that I trust to challenge me and help me grow.  Any one of those people have access and authority in my life to tell me when I’m headed in the wrong direction.
  5. Trustworthiness: If you look back at our journey through the five characteristics of Godly leaders and the five imperatives that go with each one, you will find that they all add up to this final character trait, being trustworthy.  Can your church trust you?  Can your spouse?  Can your team?  You may think immediately, yes, of course, but can I challenge you?  Ask them.  Ask them if they feel that you are trustworthy.  Do they feel that you have the integrity you need to withstand the strong winds and weight of a crisis?  Do they feel that they are safe with you as the leader?  (If they are too scared to answer the question, then they have answered the question.) 

trust and truth are spelled out in white blocks with black letters on them

Summing it Up

As we’ve studied the five characteristics of a Godly leader, we can see how each builds on the next. The fruit of godly leadership is best summed up by Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul says, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness (goodwill toward others), with patience (empathy for others), bearing with one another in love (respecting others), eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit (integrity) in the bond of peace.” (ESV, italics mine) 

When we look at these traits, we may be quick to assume we are doing well in each of them.  But I encourage you to remember that a crisis for your church may only be one phone call away. There is too much to lose to take these imperatives lightly.  We are in a battle for eternity, and when the battle gets intense, will we be left standing?