Episode #8 – How to Handle Bad Business Meetings with Boots on the Ground Guest Evan Skelton
Bob, JimBo and special guest Evan Skelton, discuss how to handle business meetings that go bad.
“What do you do or how do you handle it when something blows up in a Family “business” meeting at church?
When Conflict Breaks Out
- Realize it’s not the end of the world. Every relationship experiences conflict. Conflict is a sign that the church family feels like they can be honest.
- Seek to maintain your composure-don’t get “hooked” by strong emotions and statements or retreat in fear.
- Have a “co-moderator” who can help if you lose composure, be ready to turn over to someone who can handle the meeting during tense times.
- Move in a pastoral way towards people, slowly and deliberately.
- Confront public misbehavior publically and model appropriate biblical behavior during times of conflict.
- Pay attention to your responses: tone, posture, facial expressions and how you are coming across.
- Look for teaching opportunities that are inherent within conflict-call it out
- Acknowledge the difficulty of the moment, the feel of the room, when conflict breaks out.
- Resist the urge to never allow questions or comments during the meetings-redeem it and model for people who to ask questions.
- Center on the gospel, show people how to communicate with gospel grace.
- Allow members multiple ways to ask questions during the business or family meetings. (cards, email, text)
- Instruct members gently about how to handle conflict in public.
- Be willing to go to member’s homes to work out conflict if needed and necessary.
- Celebrate victories, show pictures and show how God is moving in the church?
- Let others share positive stories and testimonies about what God is doing and what is happening.
- Do business after celebration and testimonies.
- Slow walk-test out ideas with influencers and thought leaders in the congregation, get their feedback before bringing a potentially difficult agenda item.
- Invite critics to become an advocate.
- Eat dinner together before business meetings.
- Consider changing the name of your business meetings-to family meetings.
- Teach your people to operate in the fruit of the spirit rather than walking in the flesh. Let them know that if that is not possible and if things get contentious the meeting will end.
Evan Skelton Pastor, Bayless Baptist Church
The Peacemaking Pastor by Alfred Poirier
When Church Conflict Happens by Michael Hare
If you Bite and Devour One Another by Alexander Strauch
Facing Snarls and Scows by Brian Croft and James Carroll